Part 24: Wait, You Mean There's A Plot?

Update 16: Wait, You Mean There's A Plot?

That was a long day or two, wasn't it? Well, anyway, it's high time for the party to leave Dusk, explore the desert some more, and take the first real steps toward finding the Inner Sanctum.

"Jostiband! It's time to go. For heaven's sake, put on some pants or something and come out here."
"But you said I shouldn't wear pants any more."
"Plants. I said you shouldn't wear plants any more."
"What? But that's just silly. Why would I wear plants?"
"Remember that time when you tried to make a grass skirt out of Deadly Spores and then you left it on my dresser as a 'gift'?"
"Oh, right, that. Well, you know, no harm done. You've got healing spells, and I'm sure the hair will grow back eventually."

(And you thought your Christmas presents sucked.)



"Oh, great, another oasis. I hope the traders aren't selling more of that cactus nectar. That stuff tastes worse than piss."
"I'd ask whose piss you've been tasting and why, but there really isn't any possible answer to that question that I wouldn't be better off not hearing."



"Um, guys? I know that desert people have dark skin to protect them from the sun, but I don't remember the last group being dark green."
"Shut up, you. They're obviously orcs."
"I don't think orcs are normally that thin. I don't remember any of the orcs I've ever seen having such huge heads and bulging eyes, either."
"Well, whoever they are, they haven't attacked yet. We should give them the benefit of the doubt and approach peacefully."

"Hello. Can you understand what I'm saying? We are adventurers, exploring the desert. We can trade for supplies or information about the Inner Sanctum."
"I don't think they speak our language, Drewjitsu."
"I think you're right. Maybe I should speak louder and wave my hands around more."



(Approach the aliens in the right way, and they offer this information, which is the first real clue on the path to finding the Secret of the Inner Sanctum. Approach them the wrong way, and they attack (probably killing you). I believe that what the right approach is depends on your party's average alignment; Friendly worked for this group.)

"Oh, hey, they did understand us after all. Thanks! We'll be sure to watch out for any nobles acting weird. I mean, weirder than they always do, what with all the drinking and the syphilis."
"Any time, bro. We've got a device out back that you can attach to your heads if you want to expand your mental powers."
"Well, that doesn't seem suspicious at all. Let's try it!"



"Mattybee's right! This thing is awesome! Come on, everyone, try it!"
"I was actually being sarcastic back there, but I suppose the device didn't cause any obvious harm to your sanity -- but then, with you, how could one tell? Ah well. I can always use some more brain power."

The party will be finding quite a few more permanent stat boosts soon. Each of them is good for one use per character, after which they have to be reset at a special location before revisiting them. They also won't have any effect on a stat if it's already above 30.



"Ah, another oasis, this one filled with fellow clerics. What a golden opportunity to share in their wisdom and listen to their moral teachings!"
"What's their position on explosions?"
"In general, or those caused by you in particular?"
"Which answer will I like better?"
"Neither, I suspect."



"I feel closer to Radaso (may his light shine eternally) than ever before. There is magic in this place -- I can see why the clerics have gathered here."
"Hey, my embarrassing skin condition cleared up! Also, I have a sudden sense that my embarrassing skin condition may not be an appropriate topic of conversation."



"Confession is good for the soul. All of you, confess your sins before the Clerics and be forgiven!"
"I... I guess there's one thing that's been on my mind recently."
"You can do it, Tarquinn. You'll feel much better once it's all off your chest."
"Well, okay. I once stepped in to defend some rich old weakling of a gnome who was getting beaten up by a half-orc mugger, because I didn't think it was fair for him to pick on someone half his size and twice his age."
"Wait, what? That isn't--"
"My brother's an incurable dreamer who only ever sees good in people, but I can never bring myself to crush and mock his hopes as ruthlessly as I do to everyone else."
"One time, after heading home with my pockets full of gold from a successful heist, I gave a handful of coins to a beggar, just because it seemed like he needed the money more than I did."
"But those aren't--"
"We're evil, aren't we? These clerics restore our natural alignment, not the one you'd like us to be."
"Come on, Preacher, what about you? Surely you've got some evil secret you want to confess."
"I'm fairly sure that my constant urges to inflict pain upon you qualify."
"Oh, is that all? You could have told me, you know! I'm not really into that stuff, but we can negotiate. We could use handcuffs as long as they were the comfortable fuzzy kind, and--"
"Not. What. I. Meant."
"Hey, why are you preparing a Pain spell? What did I just say? Besides, everyone else is watching now. You could at least wait until we were in private."
"Are... are you really this oblivious or are you just acting this way to infuriate me?"
"The world may never know."



"Man. This is so much better than those last two oases."



"That would have come in handy back when I still had a shield stuck to me."
"Well, we've seen the Clerics of the North, East and West. How about the South?"



"Aw, nuts."

In case the hint about being 'worthy' wasn't obvious enough, the Clerics of the South are where the party needs to go to recharge all the permanent stat boost areas. It's a pity they don't know where to find them yet.

"I've had enough of this desert. We should explore around Dusk some more."



"I bet ruined castles have all kinds of foul beasts to vanquish and great treasures to unearth! Also, maybe the prisoner is in there disguised as an undead nobleman or something."
"Wouldn't disguising oneself as a horrible monstrosity rather defeat the purpose of disguising oneself, viz. to seem like a harmless and upstanding citizen?"
"If he was a smart criminal, he wouldn't have been imprisoned in the first place, would he?"



"Wow. This place smells kinda rank. Who died in here?"



"I guess that answers that question, then."
"Shh. I can hear noises from behind that wall. I think there's a secret passage."



Sure enough, on the wall by the pile of bones there was a secret passage, leading to another hallway and another pile of bones, next to which there was another secret passage.

"At least we're making progress."
"Unlike all those people who have evidently died here, you mean?"
"Don't remind me."



"Eww, it's ugly and it's stinking up the place! Kill it!"
"Stop! I would have expected better from a paladin. Even if it is a monster, it deserves our compassion. Its deformed state is no fault of its own."
"Yeah, look at the poor little thing. It just needs a bit of love, that's all."
"I shudder to think how you might choose to express that love. I say we just leave the thing be. What if it attacks us when we free it?"
"I agree. It was obviously imprisoned for a reason. There's no need for us to interfere."
"Sounds like it's settled to me. Let's get the hell out of here."







"Well, that made even less sense than the other messages we've found."



"And the fact that this is the most comprehensible of all the messages we've found saddens me deeply. Let's move along, shall we?"



"Hey, guys, I found an eight-leafed clover!"
"Aren't they only supposed to go up to four leaves?"
"I guess this one must be twice as lucky!"



"Well, we've got more gold than we know what to do with. Seems like a good deal to me."
"No! You're not touching my precious gold!"
"Preacher? Did you just say what I think you just said?"
"Er, um, what are you talking about? I didn't say anything! That was, uh, Successhands."
"I didn't say it, but I agree with the sentiment, so let's all just pretend I did."



"The walls of this part of the castle look different from the rest. The workmanship is much cruder. This section must once have held the servants' quarters. Or perhaps..."

s

"The dungeon! And as I think you'll all agree, a dungeon under a ruined castle is sure to be filled with treasure."
"Maybe so, but I don't feel like risking my life any more tonight. Let's head back to Dusk for now."



Well, that was a productive day. Let's see what the party has gained.



"I'm the luckiest son of a bitch alive. So why the hell haven't they let me throw away this stupid whistle yet?"



"Correction: you're the second-luckiest son of a bitch alive."



"Being a paladin is pretty great, but sometimes it's hard to decide whether to smite evil with a hammer for more effective magic or smite evil with a big sword for more effective smitery."



"'Smitery'? Ah, Drewjitsu, I'm ever so glad to see that your intelligence boost hasn't made you any smarter."



"I do hope we find some use for this wyvern eye soon. All of those days in the desert haven't been kind to it, and my backpack is starting to smell very strange."



"I can kill you with my brain."

The party has a couple of options at this point. Firstly, they could explore that dungeon under Castle Dragadune. Secondly, they could start actually advancing the central plot of the game by visiting the other castles, meeting the Lords and starting to do quests for them. Or, of course, they could go back to some other area they've already been but have left things undone, like Portsmith, Erliquin or even Dusk, and try their luck there. Vote now for what you want to see! _{All votes requesting more hot girl-on-girl action will be null and void}