Part 4Cpl. Bacter, that shit is beautiful. I take back anything cruel, mean, or unnecessary that I've ever said about Albertans. Being a colder Texas isn't the worst thing in the world. It's still weird that Fort McMurray is basically Mordor, but hey, I won't judge.
But it's time to get back in the saddle. We completed Stage 1 training with only 3 casualties. Good job! Let's try and keep this next stage relatively painless, okay? Who's up?
I LIVE! I'M NOT DEAD YET.
Let's deal with this one with the time old method of starting with the corner and go from there.
I'll have you know that while I personally find the concept of serving alongside the living-dead to be distasteful and repugnant, the Canadian Military itself is, if anything, tolerant. Go ahead Cpl. Zombie.
What, are you expecting a "thank you?"
Brony Hunter posted:
Sir! Hit everything on the top row, sir!
No! Damnit, Pvt. Brony Hunter! That's too much, too soon!
Second Row from the left, straight down, Sir!
Goddamnit, someone restrain these assholes! Don't you clowns know it's not good Minesweeper form to do entire rows and columns? Look at--JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS! These were new boots!
Pvt. Pyroi, see what your "Viscera Cleanup Squadron" can do about clearing out this mess.
Alright, again! This time use some tact.
Tobias Grant posted:
Sir I'm just going to jump up and down on the center square sir.
I believe I can fly. Dead center.
GNU Order posted:
Sir, on a board of this size, exploring the Center Square is a three-man mission. I volunteer as the third member.
Sir, I've just recounted and it looks like there are actually four squares that can be called "dead-centre"! The enemy are trying to trick us with their unscrupulous use of even numbers! As such, I'd like to volunteer to be the fourth man on the job!
All together now, lads!
Mmhmm, like right and proper Canadians! Now that's what I call teamwork! That opened up a significant chunk of the grid.
Once the centre is cleared it's time to check out those corners, sir.
Yeah, you go on. I'm just gonna put some flags right here. I'm assuming a cluster like that would be self-evident considering your stage 1 training, so let's call that a freebie.
Now, did anyone wish to alter their suggestions, or did you all plan on running out onto the grid half-cocked anyways?
Sir, are these mine placement exactly regulation? It seems like they'd be counterproductive, sir.
Soldier, that backtalk isn't exactly regulation, now is it? It certainly seems to me like it's counterproductive, Private.
Gonzo McFee posted:
Sir, I am personally disgusted by your lack of respect for Bret Hart, sir!
Dr. Snark posted:
Sir! Based on my incredibly complex and in-depth analysis, I have concluded that there are mines at the following locations:
Column 1, Row 13
Column 7, Row 6
Column 13, Row 6
Column 14, Row 12
Column 7, Row 16
Column 10, Row 16
Column 10, Row 3
Columns 2-4, Row 9
Columns 4-6, Row 10
That should account for a large number of mines! Sir.
Impressive, Cpl. Dr. Snark.
Sir, Canadian Naval Command has reason to believe that Row 1, Column 4 should be safe, sir!
Ha ha ha! Well, now, isn't that just like the Navy?
But seriously, those folks are direly underfunded--even by our standards!
Someone get a clean up. Tell the Navy we got one of their people in a body bag. Tell'em they ruined a lot of our soldier's hard work.