Part 4: Something of the Dead

I swore I would never exhume another corpse...




Not after that... unpleasantness.







But there I was.




I knew what I had to do.






Immediately, that unholy smell struck... You can never adequately prepare yourself for it.








That stench, it smothered me in the memories of that horrible night.






How was I supposed to know they were visiting that evening? Who visits graves at night anyway? Weirdos.




I still hear her screams in my nightmares to this day.








"Oh god! What is that man doing to my poor husband!?" She cried.








In retrospect, trying to diffuse the situation with a little impromptu ventriloquism was not the best idea I've ever had...





Here lies daredevil Jim McDow.
Hand of steel, Leg of wood...
Jim took every risk he could.
A life of action, that was Jim's,
Too bad he ran out of limbs.




No man commanded Jean Louise.
Not on land and not on water.
Jean did whatever he pleased,
Until he kissed the gunners daughter.




There once was a girl named Carrie
Who thought that she should soon marry.
She went into town, and flirted around.
She didn't get wed she got buried.





I had found what I had come for.




This was it.






Gazing at the pristine ground below me, the shovel gleamed in the moonlight.




The ground was broken. There was no turning back now.




As I dug, the earth shook and wailed in turmoil. But I was oblivious.




The moment, the thrill of it encapsulated me.




And there it was.




I held it in the air in triumph. But the nightmare had only begun...




Because just then, the hands began clawing their way through the earth! Immediately they were fully emerged and advancing towards me!




"So, you want to tangle with Ace Threepwood" I sneered, steely eyed.




Armed only with my shovel, I decapitated wave upon wave of murderous zombie pirates!




I had defiled one of their own, and they wouldn't rest until I returned what was rightfully theirs!




But I had a mission, I had to defeat them.




Heads flew as I forced a path through the swarms, making my daring escape.




I had fought valiantly, and knew that I would never again have to deal with murderous zombie pirates...




...And that's exactly what happened.




What... ?