Part 3: Episode 3: I Keep Running Into Pricks

We'll be focusing on Diabetes' skill and speed. This is because, as you all voted, a panda eats shoots and leaves. I hate each and every one of you on a personal level.

Moving on. Each training course is run by Professor Hootie, as much as I wish that wasn't true. The basic skill course involves knocking a rock into the target across the lake.


Diabetes rocks the rocks on his first try. Good Panda. Very good Panda.


No... NO. I refuse to believe this. You were dead! I saw it! I SAW YOU DIE!!












Moving on from whatever the hell that was, let's train up Diabetes' speed. For this course, Hootie will throw boomerangs somehow and Diabetes has to jump them.

THAT IS NOT JUMPING, YOU CHEATING GODDAMN CAT-BEAR!


It didn't really affect his stat gain, but cheating breeds laziness. And no one wants a lazy panda.

There is no box, don't even try asking. We're doing a simple beating on the cub, nothing more.

I think he learned his lesson. Also? I got to beat up an endangered species.

Cleo seems to have enjoyed that part too.
Meanwhile, in the asshole sector of Funny Name Ranch...

There are 3 questions that will never be answered:
1. Who fired him?
2. Why is he trespassing on my ranch?
3. Why doesn't he wipe his mouth?




GET THE HELL OFF MY LAND YOU DIRTY STEAMPUNK BRAT












And then he bites his tongue again and runs off.





Anyway... It's May 1st and we have a decision to make. Shall we throw Diabetes into the Rookie Cup? On the one hand, it'll probably be some easy money when we win. On the other hand, Stalky McRapeface will be there. The choice (and power) is yours!