Part 8: Episode 8: The Dick and The Dead

All right, we're going to focus on Diabetes' life and punchability; both his ability to give and take punches... Mainly taking them from me.




To build up your health, you of course go jogging. With monsters, there is no difference. Apart from the giant owl, I mean.








The panda did well. I think I'll let him eat tonight.




...Or I would have, had Colt not told me that errantries are discounted this month. That money has to come from somewhere, Diabetes, and bamboo ain't cheap.




I have a couple of new courses available, but they just build skill and speed. I need RAW POWER. And you get that from forests, clearly.




I'm sure he's all right, folks. He's just swimming. Face down. Without moving.




_{Squidtamer DA snuck this into my coat pocket when I wasn't looking... She also stole my pack of gum.}





See? He's fine! He even learned how to do something.




Let's see how well Kiddy Punch works against the kiddies. There's a tournament happening RIGHT NOW.





I've never seen such enthusiasm this side of a McDonald's.




And we're fighting some terminally ill children. Perfect for the kiddy punch.






That... that's actually kind of depressing. It's like raising babies to be pit fighters.




That said, there can be only one.





And our final opponent is apparently Lucifer's puppy.








My panda is not above bitch-slapping a puppy, no matter how little skin its face may have.




Our prize is a Sculpture of Artemis. Let's go back to my ranch, where I'll explain it.




Oh. Also, this happened. Sometimes, your monster will find glowing crystals. If it touches the crystal, you'll get an item. You can try tapping on the bottom screen to tell your monster where to go on the map, but your monster will never listen and you will end up chewing on your DS in frustration. We'll expand on that later.




Here we have our inventory, which is full of useless crap and the statue I just won. As long as I have it, my monsters will get a little less tired. Which means I can whip them that much harder. It's win-win for everyone.





After months of running and drowning, here is where Diabetes is at. If you want to change his training regimen, now is your chance.