Part 113: Ep. 79: A Burning Ring Of Fire

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: Last time on MySims Agents: TOBOR the robot is all fixed up and ready to go! But... ready to go where?


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It's always possible that Yuki just plain told someone where she was going. Sam decides to wander around and check in with people, just in case.

: You seem to be enjoying yourself.



Some things never change.

Most people don't have anything of note to tell us, though. It isn't until Sam starts what was supposed to be a desultory chat with Goth Boy that things change.

: How's the turkey-on-a-fork business?



uh

sure I guess

: What can I do for you, Goth Boy?

: Well, I was having Justice custom design a new temporary tattoo for me--something dark and troubled, to match my life...

Because all tattoos in MySimsLand are temporary, of course! And Goth Boy's copious facial piercings are all clip-on, I'm sure.

: ... I'm supposed to go check on his progress, but these drumsticks need basting, so I'm stuck here, as usual. Would you go?

: Sure, glad to help.

Not like we're in a race against time right now or anything.

: Thanks, Sam. I do appreciate this.

Goth Boy turns his attention back to the turkey baster, and Sam updates his notes.

: I've promised to help Goth Boy by checking with Justice about his new custom tattoo.

Let's do that now, since we're right here. Sam pushes on into the tattoo parlor.

: I'm here on behalf of Goth Boy.



: Yup, that sounds about right.

: Sadly, I'm fresh out of bleak, black ink. With everything that's been going on, I haven't had a chance to re-stock.

: Anything I can do to help?

: If you can get your hands on some type of black dye, I can finish it right up.

: Any idea where I can get some of that around here?



... that sounds unsanitary. Still, I guess it's for a temporary tattoo...

: If I can get some oily black pigment, Justice can finish Goth Boy's new body art design.

Putting his notebook away, Sam heads for the docks.



Sam is so very tired.



From the less-radioactive end of the beach!

: I've managed to skim the oil from the water. Now I just need to get it back to Justice.



We hear from our junior-agents-at-large on the way back to the boardwalk. Rosalyn's great with scare-quotes. Sam puts his phone away and returns to the tattoo parlor.

: I managed to get some of that oil.

: Thanks, kid. This will work great. You can tell Goth Boy that he can pick up his tattoo whenever he's ready.

Justice carries the bottle of filthy, salt-tinged, mildly-radioactive submarine oil over to the tattoo chair. Sam pulls out his notebook.

: With the dye recovered, I can now let Goth Boy know that Justice is finishing up his temporary tattoo design.

And he does.

: Justice says your tattoo design is ready!

: Thanks, Sam. Now I'll be able to properly show the "futility of joy" with my unique body art.

And... we're rewarded with a promotional figurine of Goth Boy for the trophy case! That's right: at this late date, the game has suddenly branched out into dinky sidequests. The beach is the last area before we hit endgame, so it serves as a sort of catch-all for everything that the developers had left over.

The beach also 'boasts' some of the game's more obviously cut corners. There are fewer optional conversations and fewer things to look at; those things we can examine aren't all that interesting. I was going to put together an interlude based on the things inside Luke's surf shop and Justice's tattoo parlor, but aaargh there's nothing entertaining in either place.

Anyway! While Sam and Buddy were checking in back at HQ, the Chaz McFreely apparently performed his awesome extreme stunt of awesomeness. And we missed it! This will not stand!

: Can you do that stunt again?



Uh. Huh. Okay.

: Chaz will show off to the extreme, but only if I can find enough people to watch.

Well, we sure don't want to miss the stunt. Sam runs around checking in with people and finally finds Chaz's audience, right where it's been all along:

: Would you like to see Chaz's stunt?



: Great, Taylor. If you head over to the parking lot behind the shops, Chaz is almost ready to start.

Taylor hurries off.

: One more fan should be enough to get Chaz to show off to the extreme.

Really? Two fans? Plus Sam and Tim (and probably Buddy)? That's enough for Chaz's ego? Wonders never cease. Anyway, maybe the lifeguard would be interested?

: Would you like to see Chaz's stunt?

: I guess it could be fun. It's all Chaz has been talking about. But I shouldn't leave my post...

: It'll be okay, Summer. Chaz is all ready to go, and you'll only be away from the beach for a moment.





Summer also heads up to the parking lot.

: I've rounded up some more people for Chaz's stunt. Let's see if he'll give us a show.

Sam heads that way as well.

: OK, Chaz, I've found you an audience...



And we fade to black.



The scene opens with Tim cheering wildly and playing extreme music on the boombox.



A duly-helmeted Chaz poses with his bike, in front of...



... the Ring Of Not On Fire Yet.



Chaz jumps on his motorcycle, revs it, and squeals around in an extreme circle.



The Ring bursts into flame!







Tim cheers in extreme slow-motion! Woooooo!



An unscathed Chaz takes a victory lap, and we score a Chaz McFreely action figure for our troubles.



And Marlon apparently scores himself a date! Or a sexual-harassment suit.


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: Next time on MySims Agents: ... weren't we supposed to be doing something, pal?


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Video: Ring Of Fire
Chaz's motorcycle stunt, now with sound and everything. I don't know that it's the most extreme thing I've ever seen in my life, but I'll grant you that jumping a motorcycle through a flaming hoop is more extreme than anything that I did today.