Do what now?
In the mid-2000s, the Nintendo Wii and DS were both A Big New Deal. EA wanted to jump on that bandwagon. They wanted to jump on it hard. I imagine that the decision-making process went something like this:
- These new Nintendo machines
- Therefore we should make our new Nintendo-exclusive franchise cheerful, simple, colorful, and E-for-everyone-rated.
- Hey, don't we have a franchise like that already?
- Sort of?
- Close enough!
Shortly thereafter the market was flooded with MySims games for both platforms in nearly every non-violent game genre, starting with the original MySims, in which you moved adorable blockheaded mascots into your magical town and then made them furniture out of colored blocks until the repetition drove you mad.
(Get used to those blockheaded mascots, by the way. All the games draw from the same largish cast of MySims. I'll mention their roles in other games whenever it seems appropriate.)
MySims Agents is a surprisingly well-written and funny light platformer/puzzler/point-and-click adventure. Generally considered to be the strongest entry in the franchise (despite a few obviously cut corners) Agents was released in 2009 on both the Wii and the DS. The versions are fairly dissimilar and have different plots and gameplay mechanics; we'll be playing the Wii version, because it's my favorite.
So it's like The Sims?
Not really, no.
Some things will definitely feel familiar--interactions, Simlish, plumb-bobs--but the games don't have that much in common, despite the MySims games theoretically being a spinoff of The Sims. No houses full of goonSims here, alas.
There are a few crossovers and references, which I'll talk about when we get there.
What will we do in this LP?
We'll play wisecracking special agents going on secret missions to save the world from EVIL! We'll help the downtrodden! We'll solve crimes! We'll fall off things! A lot! We'll even recruit a crack team of junior agents and send them on their own special missions and then laugh when they fail to complete the simplest tasks!
We'll also constantly change clothes, restyle our hair, and redecorate our fancy HQ, as I intend to find and show off all the extras salted away in hidden chests.
This will be a lightly-narrative screenshot LP with occasional bursts of italics to denote stuff I made up.
Please keep any spoilers behind spoiler tags. Also, don't be creepy.
- Ep. 1: Your Friendly Neighborhood Detective
- Ep. 2: A Dog Divided
- - Interlude: Let's Poke Things
- Ep. 3: Mostly I Can't Believe That Buddy Was Right
- - Interlude: Let's Try On Clothes
- Ep. 4: Burn
- Ep. 5: One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out
- - Interlude: The Re-Pokening
- Ep. 6: At Last, A Case That Doesn't Have Anything To Do With Morcubus
- Ep. 7: A Secret Love For Bureaucracy
- Ep. 8: Ha Ha, I Lied
- - Interlude: Way Too Many Things To Poke
- - Interlude: Stealing From Citizens, And Other Perks Of The Job
- Ep. 9: The Return Of Agent Walker
- - Interlude: The Derobenator 9000
- Ep. 10: Acting With Dispatch--Eventually
- Ep. 11: Foreshadowing? We Don't Do That Here
- Ep. 12: Oh, That Kind Of Asshole
- Ep. 13: I'm Diggin' It
- Ep. 14: Skipping The Country
- Ep. 15: Pizza Science 101, or Holy Crap, Is That Plot?
- Ep. 16: The Jet Set
- Ep. 17: You're No Buddy 'Til Some Bunny Loves You
- - Interlude: Playing In The Snow
- Ep. 18: My, What Big Feet You Have
- Ep. 19: On the Jump
- Ep. 20: Holy Infodump, Batman
- Ep. 21: An Innocent Yeti
- - Interlude: Another Day, Another Set Of Ill-Gotten Gains
- Ep. 22: A Hairy Situation
- Ep. 23: All Bottled Up
- - Interlude: Takin' The Train To Cosplay Town
- Ep. 24: Going To Bat For The Yeti
- Ep. 25: He's Not Yeti, He's My Boyfriend
- - Interlude: Good Thing The Jump Jet Has A Cargo Hold
- Ep. 26: Fenergetic!
- Ep. 27: Our Priorities Are In Order
- - Interlude: We Have To Go Back Where
- - Dispatch Mission: Pig, Camera, Action!
- Ep. 28: This Gritty Underbelly Has Fur On It
- Ep. 29: Quit Embarrassing Yourself
- Ep. 30: No Human Could
- Ep. 31: On Second Thought, Let's Not Go To Camelot
- - Dispatch Mission: Yeti Begins
- Ep. 32: Go Forth Now! For SCIENCE!!!
- Ep. 33: Planting The Seeds Of Doubt
- Ep. 34: Candy-Coating The Truth
- Ep. 35: The Three Towers
- Ep. 36: R.U.R. Culprit?
- - Interlude: Nonspecific
- Ep. 37: What Goes Around And Around
- Dispatch Missions: Blue Thing/Episode X
- Ep. 38: We Got The Beats
- Ep. 39: Picking On Someone More Metallic Than Us
- Ep. 40: The Worst At Listening
- Ep. 41: The Underground Music Scene
- Ep. 42: Dancin' Mad
- Ep. 43: Crystal Clear
- - Interlude: ROBO-GNOME
- - Dispatch Mission: I Drilled Too Deep
- Ep. 44: That's Totally How Geology Works, No, Really
- Ep. 45: So, Flowers, Then
- Dispatch Mission Halftime Blitz: The Sadness Parade
- Dispatch Mission Halftime Blitz: Cocoa Science/Equipment Recovery
- Dispatch Mission Halftime Blitz: Failing Forest/Tainted Broth
- Dispatch Mission Halftime Blitz: Candypaluna/Ol' Gabby's Mine/OMG Glow Sticks/The Longest Voyage
- Dispatch Mission Halftime Blitz: F, Robot/Snack Thief/What's The F?/Missing Bugs
- Dispatch Mission Halftime Blitz: Time For Toast/High School Yearbook/Music That Moves You/Red Buddy
- Ep. 46: The Mail Call Of The Wild
- Ep. 47: Minigame Street
- Ep. 48: Constructive Interference
- Ep. 49: The Boudreaux Bequest
- Ep. 50: Zombies And Psychics And Actors, Oh My
- - Interlude: Oh God, My Allergies
- Ep. 51: Well, It WAS A Nice Suit
- - Interlude: Oh God, My Alligators
- Ep. 52: Cinderella This Ain't
- Ep. 53: Special Agents' Lonely Hearts Club Band
- - Interlude: Oh God, My Aging Joke
- Ep. 54: Bang Bang Someone's Silver Hammer
- Ep. 55: The Play's The Thing
- Ep. 56: I Guess The Butler Did It
- Ep. 57: Among Our Chief Weapons Are: Doubt, Surprise, Deadpan Sarcasm
- Ep. 58: Skulls Are A Valid Decorative Motif
- Ep. 59: He Tells Me To Burn Things
- Ep. 60: Well, I Certainly Did Not See That One Coming
- - Interlude: Carl's Attic And Other Holes
- Ep. 61: J'Accuse, J'Accuse, J'Accuse!
- Ep. 62: The Cruel Ladies Of Fate
- Ep. 63: The Nightshade Factor
- - Interlude: The Spoils Of War
- - Dispatch Mission: Magical Assistant/Reagent Run
- - Dispatch Mission: The Prominence/The Bushido Code
- Ep. 64: Magnificent Underwater Breathing Apparatus
- Ep. 65: Turkey-Onna-Fork
- - Interlude: Life In The Small City
- Ep. 66: Injustice? Maybe So
- Ep. 67: Fresh Fish, Extra Gravy
- Ep. 68: It's A Megaphone, It's A Robot Ear
- Ep. 69: Circling The Drain
- Ep. 70: Subnormal
- Ep. 71: Justice Is Served
- - Interlude: Beach Blanket Bingo
- Ep. 72: Chaz McFreely: EXTREME-ly Jealous?
- Ep. 73: Enabling Unhealthy Squid-Related Behaviors
- Ep. 74: Knifey Spoony (Blankety Teapotty)
- Ep. 75: I Mean It This Time
- Ep. 76: Gotta Believe
- - Dispatch Mission: H4XXOR3D!
- - Dispatch Mission: Surf's Up/The Finest Blade
- Ep. 77: Stupid, Useless Jet
- Ep. 78: Applied Mad Robotics
- Ep. 79: A Burning Ring Of Fire
- Ep. 80: The Lady Vanishes
- Ep. 81: Two Tentacles For Tea
- Ep. 82: Full Fathom Five Thy Fucking Treasure Lies
- Ep. 83: The Legacy of Cyrus
- - Dispatch Mission: The Extremest Case
- - Dispatch Mission: TOBOR's Destiny/Train Jimmy
- Ep. 84: In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle
- Ep. 85: Elemental, My Dear Buddy
- Ep. 86: Welcome To Earf
- Ep. 87: Water We Doing Here
- Ep. 88: A Lame Pun Or Other Play On Words Having To Do With Fire
- Ep. 89: Here's the Wind-Up
- Ep. 90: And Here's The Lich
- Ep. 91: Into The Unknown
- Ep. 92: The Unknown Has Some Issues
- Ep. 93: Hey Little Girl Is Your Daddy Home
- Ep. 94: Bad Altitude
- Ep. 95: The Nut Is Family
- Ep. 96: I Got A Rock
- Ep. 97: No, Really, The Nut Is Family
- Ep. 98: Well, This Seems... Bad
- Ep. 99: Never Gonna Give You Up
- - Dispatch Mission: Blade Of Destiny
- - Dispatch Mission: Snake On The Loose!/Trouble With Truffles
- - Dispatch Mission: Protection Detail/Penguin Style
- - Dispatch Mission: Suckers Sabotage!/Justice For Justice
- - Dispatch Mission: One More Time
- Ep. 100: Pose As A Team
- Ep. 100': Meanwhile, In Another Universe
- Cover art for the Wii version
- Opening movie (Polsy'd)
- Official game trailer (also Polsy'd)
- A completely non-serious interview with Jeff Green, the game's writer, courtesy of Gimbal lock (contains no plot spoilers but shows areas and characters from very late in the game)
- Closing credits
- Master Portrait Sheet by Genevieve Tsai ( + missing character)
Happiest little Paul the Yeti icon, by Embiggen!
Ms. Nicole: ++++
Sir Vincent Skullfinder: +++
Ms. Nicole: +
Sir Vincent Skullfinder: ++