Part 6: Blah Blah Blah Tutorial Blah

I'm gonna come clean with you here: this update is long and it mostly covers tutorial stuff, which is not the most interesting thing. I am showing it to you because I hate you. Uh, I mean, because if I had to suffer through this, then so do you. No, wait, it's because I am an anal-retentive completionist. ... okay, fine, it's really because there's just enough cute dialogue and stuff sprinkled throughout to make me feel bad about leaving it out. I'll elide some of the duller 'press A to' stuff.

To make things a little more interesting, I will sprinkle some random MySims Factoids(tm) throughout the update.



Uh oh. A box.

: But the power does have limits: one can only use the scepter within special regions like this one, and only if the Wandolier has collected enough Mana to power it.

In short, we can only build on these suspiciously-flat bounded areas instead of flinging boxes anywhere all willy-nilly. Marlon also explains how to pull out our wands and use them to pick up and drop existing items, wanding the heck out of our fourth wall in the process.

: So simple! Marvel at the elegant design and usability of the scepter! It is truly fantastic! Ready to try it for yourselves, my students?

Sam looks at the box, then nods.

: Fantastic! You should start by picking up that box and placing it in the red goal on that platform. Only the first contestant to finish this simple task will get credit. Let the race begin!

OH NO OH NO GOTTA HURRY pffft yeah right sure



Most of the MySims games were developed by EA Redwood Shores, now known as Visceral Games. They're probably best known for the Dead Space series; they also made Dante's Inferno and a bunch of random LotR and James Bond games. And somewhere in the midst of all this, they made a bunch of strangely good children's games. Who knew?



And now we have access to the blue shield, which is our Wand Powers.



Wand powers, engage!



Sam grabs the box--



--and moves it to the target zone, which is super easy because it snaps to the grid. Guess he gets credit for the task!



: Wow, Sam! You're a cube-moving master!

So true. So true.

: Fantastic, Sam! You won the second challenge. Let me know when you're ready to continue!

Let's party!

: It's time for the third challenge... your next task is quite simple, really.



Marlon trails off, then goes "BWAH?" and runs forward.



See?

: What the-?!



Marlon flails helplessly at the scattered Beanie Babies.

: Don't worry little friends! We'll save you!

Marlon turns back to us.

: Okay, my students, change of plans. One of you must use your wand to place my stuffed animals back onto their shelf. Huge points for whoever can do this first! And make sure they're facing outwards! Collectible Kingdom Pals have feelings too, you know!



Princess Butter is a bit more optimistic.

: Those bears are so cute! Please help them, Sam!



So, yes, this is a tutorial that teaches us how to flip and rotate blocks using the D-pad. Hooray. Sam carefully flips all the collectible Kingdom Pals upright and sits them on their shelf. It would have taken about half as long to just pick them up with his hands--but, of course, he stinks of pig and failure.

: Argh! You're too good at this wanding stuff!

: What an amazing saver of bears you are, Sam!

: Aww! There we are, Sam! All my little friends are back safe and sound!

Man, this could go to a guy's head.

I've tried to avoid using the terms 'chibi' or 'superdeformed' to refer to the MySims characters, since these aren't Japanese games. As it turns out, though, I might as well have done so. The concept artist who is largely responsible for the look of the series is named Emmy Toyonaga; she's on record as saying that her Japanese background influenced the design of the characters, since she's accustomed to fun, lighthearted games having short and stubby characters. She also cites urban vinyl toys as a major influence, which leads me to, once again, bemoan the fact that MySims toys were never made.

: Whew! Okay, let's move on.



A bigger box!

: Let's learn how to use the power of the wand to create an entire house! Sadly, a house will not fit here--the yard is too overgrown!



And how do we do that? Marlon explains how to delete items that we've picked up. If we pick up an item and delete it, it stops bothering us and we also regain the Mana it cost to originally place it. Destroying the hard work of previous Wandoliers is satisfying and lucrative.

: What an ugly place! My mushroom garden back home is much prettier.

: This overgrown lot reminds me of the harbor. Sure wish that place had a nice big house for me...

Sorry to hear that, Barn. Maybe some day you can hire a construction firm and have a place built.

Anyway! We grab the bushes one at a time and magically crush them into a fine powder of Mana that recharges our wand WOO HOO



And then we open the catalog to see what we can create.



A BOX



PLONK



ROOF

: Oh, well done, Sam! You did it again!



This makes Marlon so happy that he now likes Sam better, and as a reward he... basically secretes a bunch of bouncy Mana that gets sucked into Sam's magic pockets. Is that gross? It's gross. Okay, never mind. Instead, imagine that Marlon briefly turned into a Mana sprinkler.

: Hmm, still needs something... well done, Sam! Still, that house looks a bit... austere. Let's dress it up with windows and such, shall we? There are certain items you can build with that satisfy Interests. You can see an item's Interest value when you point at it in the catalog.

Inter-what now? Marlon doesn't want to explain that either. If you want an explanation, go play the original MySims.

... so, yeah. Sims have Interests, which are things that they are interested in. (I know! I was surprised too!) Depending on their personalities Sims can like things that are Fun, or Cute, or Elegant, or Spooky; also, they can be interested in Tech, Food, or Nature. Houses and buildings require Structure to not fall down; furniture and cabinetry and so on are all Domestic Interests.

: When you place one of these items down you add its Interests to the area. When you meet the requirements for that area, your task is complete!

Marlon pauses, then adds:

: One other thing: Sometimes when you pick up a block you will see a blue ghosted version of it appear in the world. Unlike a red ghost block, which shows you where a block must go, a blue ghosted block shows you where a block COULD go. Feel free to choose the places that you think are best! Enjoy your house building, students!

You guys ready to enjoy some house building?

: These roses are so pretty! They're much more interesting than building that dusty old house.

Nope.

: Hmm... windows seem like a cost-effective way of fulfilling the Structure Interest requirement...

Oh, crap, Barney is catching up, better hurry!

Eventually EA decided to ditch the franchise and foisted SkyHeroes, the last game in the series, onto a developer called Behaviour Interactive. BI appears to specialize in quickie tie-in games of all kinds. They've won awards and stuff, so they're not precisely terrible, and they did make some cool moves: they released SkyHeroes across all the then-current console platforms and added an online multiplayer mode. Still, the franchise was most likely already dead when BI got it, and it was their job to tidy up the corpse and see it safely buried.



Somewhere in the pile of windows is the fact that a chimney adds one Structure Interest to a building. We need three Structure Interests.



... aaaand as you can see we could add eight chimneys and no windows to this house if we felt like it. Wandoliers!



Sam will just drop some windows instead, totally stealing Barney's idea.

: Yes! That's a nice looking house, Sam! Hmm... but something is missing...

Oh, good, he's finally noticed that there's no door.

: Ah, of course! Paint!



: Lucky for us, the scepter can paint as well as create!

He explains how to paint things, woo.

: Have fun and be creative, Sam!

Yeah, he's not even pretending that the others are in this race any more.



sometimes I take screenshots just because of facial expressions

: Hmm... if I paint it really ugly, I'm bound to come in second, hehehe...



Paint! Sam is an uneducated pig-boy whose potential for creativity has been stifled all his life, so he paints the roof a shade of gray shingles and the walls a shade of gray brick wall. Meanwhile, no one else even tries.

: I blame the crabs! They're so distracting! Why can't there be ponies on this 'magic' island instead?

: Sam wins again! That house is much better now with new paint, don't you think? Alright, my students, let us move on to the final trial...

FINALLY THE DOOR THANK GOD



THAT IS NOT A DOOR AT ALL

: Some things in this world can't work by themselves--they need to be powered!



: This windmill turns cool gusts of wind into wonderfully useful rotational energy... that power is causing this gear to turn! Gears can be used to connect rotational power to distant objects that need it... but gears will not turn on their own; they have to be connected to a power source or another spinning gear! Okay, my students, give it a shot! Place gears to connect that spinning gear to the axle on the switch. Good luck!

: Know what gears are made of? Metal. You know what else is made of metal? Toaster ovens. Just keepin' my eye on the prize.

: After we finish this one, we get to go back to the castle!

Yeah. After 'we' finish this one. Right.

Probably the most obscure bit of MySims ephemera is MySims Camera, a bit of download-only DSiWare which allows the player to take pictures using the DS camera and then superimpose animated MySims characters onto the images. It's still there in the eShop and it runs just fine on the 3DS. I know this because I plunked down two bucks for it just a few days ago. I have already taken a picture of a tiny Morcubus laughing evilly atop one of my cats. If that's not worth two bucks, I don't know what is.



Sam creates a gear, and the game tells us how to place multiples of items without picking them out of our menu each time.



gear gear gear gear done! I can't help but think that there must be a more efficient way to connect gears to each other. Oh, well.

: Yay! Time to go back to the castle! I'll win for sure!

: Woo! Let's get off this crazy magical wonderland!

: Sam aces the final task! I can't say I'm surprised, at this point... ah, Sam. You have exceeded my expectations. You are a most promising student! I've collected the training scepters from everyone, so it's time to return to the castle and hear the results of the contest!





: *ahem* If that's all, then we'll head back to the castle. Follow meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Marlon waves his hands in a familiar manner, and...



The three of us poof out, and Marlon follows.


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Next time on MySims Kingdom: Gosh, I wonder if Sam won. It sure was a close contest!