Part 6: Vercingetorix42's Journal

Vercingetorix42 Journal: Yeah, I'm a Delivery Boy! YouTube


4:31 Yes Commander, we may be fake archers, but we fir'Bolg, both old and recently recruited, live by a simple motto. “It doesn't matter if you win or lose, as long as you look damn good doing it.”

4:42 BrokenBox apparently had a bit too much of the ale I brought back from the Militia of Swans. He decided to start dancing behind us in the middle of a fight. It took me several manly yells, that in no way sounded like a little girl, to convince him to start firing.

6:21 BrokenBox and Coolswa shot Ratatozsk at point blank range. Note to self, fir'Bolg cliques are serious business.

9:10 We met up with reinforcements. I made sure to make friends and exchange secret handshakes with the rest of the fir'Bolg and Militia, hopefully ensuring I'm not the target for friendly fire.(Though I can't blame them entirely for following my example with Gor'Don). It was reassuring to see dwarves accompany us, though I could have sworn Xander77 died at The Forge. Then again, that was some really noxious gas. Good times...

11:09 Klowns stayed back to swig something, perhaps the last of that ale I brought back. I'm hoping it was just ale...

15:57 A wight actually spoke to us as it emerged from the water...

“My name is Mac'Walters, and let me tell you how this will end. I'll give you three choices...”

All of us fired our arrows, somehow sensing this wight would really screw up this world. I'm proud to write that I scored the final hit, shouting “I CHOOSE PURPLE!" The wight then exploded, but no one was harmed. Catharsis...

21:33 The Commander directed Four Bear to heal Ratatozsk, citing his importance as “One of our only veteran archers”. I coughed rather obnoxiously. It's interesting to note that the majority of his injuries were due to friendly fire.

22:30 Coolswa fired an arrow at a tree. When I questioned him, he said a compatriot of his, a religious man by the name of Dur'kon de Oots, said that the trees move too slow to be seen but can sneak up on a man. Everything really is trying to kill us.

24:40 Xander77 picked up as many satchel charges as he could carry. That little man loves fire.

27:17 Let it be known, I shot first.

27:40 OWW! Let it also be known, all my damage is from friendly fire. Brokenbox, I'm looking at you.

30:00 It was BrokenBox who hit Fenris, not me. My arrow missed. That's what I'm writing down for all posterity.

30:53 We meet Kyrilla, a Sorceress. Her tag-line,

“Through destruction I will make my reality. Through violation I will claim my inheritance. Through illusion I will take my revenge.”

Oh Crom...it's my Ex-wife.

32:02 Aw Shi...TRIP THE PURPLE LIGHT FANTASTIC!

32:22 Looking out at the horde of thrall approaching us, I have to really suppress the urge to run and scream, “I'm not with these guys, I was just looking for a White Castle when my wolf brought me here. He's colorblind, sorry for the mix-up, I'll be going now!”

32:55 The Commander is once again assuring us that we have no chance of survival. I really need to stop putting myself into hopeless battles. Then again, if I survive while wearing these tights, I will be awesome.

34:10 Ethereal b...witch.

35:10 Just like old times, she disappears in the middle of the argument.

After Action Report: We entered the tomb where the swarm of thrall and invulnerable Kyrilla came from. We're getting used to suicidal tendencies without volcanic gases.