Part 8: Vercingetorix42's Journal

Vercingetorix42 Journal : Breaking up really is hard YouTube

4:40 The Commander noted that several archers and warriors are missing. I think I forgot to warn him that those particular individuals took levels in “Adventurer”, and as such are irresistibly drawn to underground tombs. At least they were until they read the carving “I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.”

8:05 The Commander has said that we few, we colorful band of fir'Bolg, are not to blame for missing the bees, as they are small compared to the Souless and Thrall we've slain...or perhaps attempted to slay before the dwarves blew them up, but in any event, we are vindicated. I've never felt more proud in my red boots and tights than right now.

9:00 Brethren forgive me, I had to chuckle as Fenris tried to jump in front of Imaduck to shield him from a Souless spear, only to miss by inches. Imaduck takes two steps to the right and shoots just in time to catch Fenris in the face. In response to Fenris' dirty look, Imaduck only said, “sup'Foo”

Imaduck has testicular fortitude that I wasn't aware of.

9:52 Union rules...

10:48 (Out of Character)“Right was so last year” Heh.

11:16 In Imaduck's defense, he nailed Fenris at point blank range.

12:20 For the flaming purple arrow...and the quarterback is toast!! Ahem, I mean, I hit my target...

13:35 CirclMaster throws a grenade at a Thrall next to Fenris, and then after the Thrall explodes, Imaduck shoots Fenris in the head again while CirclMaster says, “Sweeeeet”

Fenris must have a way with people like Gor'Don, Crom rest his soul.

17:20 Score one for Ratatazsk purple arrowing a fetch.

17:52 Achievement Unlocked: Yorick on the Butte.

18:25 Perhaps I shouldn't have talked the other fir'Bolg into holding back and letting Fenris pincushion while shouting “Run Fenris Run!”

23:30 I yelled to Xander77, “If you see a fellow by the name of hen'Drix in your vision, tell him Thank You! (YouTube)”

26:25 I think I just witnessed the Quickening...

30:30 Somehow Fenris managed to get the Souless to attack us instead of him. Or dodged the spear so it hit us, I can't tell with with the blood in my eyes. I suppose magic sword wielding troglodytes don't have a sense of humor...ow...

33:25 Crom, that's a lot of Fetch and Thrall queued up. I can't be sure, but I could almost swear I hear them chanting “Bieber” over and over again. Tis' most unholy.

35:00 Wow, that smell isn't going away anytime soon. And we have to trudge through it.

35:53 (Out of Character) I thought I was the only one who did that in strategy games.

37:13 Angry charging Ghols to the front, dwarves retreating, time to “RUN AWAY!!” You Warriors, defend our retreat. Crom will reward you in the next life, Farewell!

39:41 Fourteen, give or take a pint of piss.

41:13 I've already explained this to Fenris She's my ex-wife. She'll flatter you, make demands while fluttering her eyes, but unless you wish a frostbitten cock you should refrain from sleeping with her. Not that it matters with how much he still longs for Kyrand.

41:33 Bring it on. It won't bring back your Cromdamn honey!

42:18 Frellin' A Commander

43:29 I should know better than to talk tough before a fight.

“Nice Bees. Ow OW...Your mother has a fat thorax! AHH, OW....with my last breath, I CURSE FENRIS!”

44:23 Oh sweet purple OM...take away the pain...

48:37 Once again, Four Bear has taken us down the wrong road. It's odd that in my drunken stupor, my directions for the dwarves allowed us to rendezvous much sooner than a mystic with a shovel and miles of entrails to read. Really, we'd be better off randomly striking out and using red as a color for where we've been. Actually rather proud of both of those.

48:47 (Out of Character) I'm hearing Benny Hill myself.

49:49 Speaking of drunken stupors, CirclMaster tosses an Molotov almost within lethal blast radius to Xander77, and Xander77 then throws one right at Fenris. I cannot be sure if the dwarves are drinking some of that explosive concoction or if Fenris really has pissed everyone off.

53:05 CirclMaster loudly declared a “Piss Break”. The Commander objected. Now if the dwarves were sensible enough to wear yellow tights and have our cleaning service, this wouldn't be an issue.

54:26 Son of a...I'm really starting to hate Fenris. This is the second time he has dodged a spear right at my face.

56:51 Hmm, I thought ne'Ric had to bend over for lightning with a blast radius of a bomb. Where do these heroes get those wonderful toys...