Part 151: Episode CXLV: Real Steel

Episode CXLV: Real Steel



One DLC arena completed. Two to go. Since that unlocks the secret fourth part of the DLC.


Music: Underground Colosseum



Today’s free expedition will take us to the Forest Zone for one of the final times and back to the underground colosseum for some machine lifeform on machine lifeform violence. Let’s jump right into it where we last left off.



There are six total ranked fights in the Underground Colosseum. Rank 2 recommends Level 45. Here on out we’ll be at the level cap so that’s not going to be an issue. 9S’s current level reflects whatever machine we’ll be controlling. Though if he is lacking, it is possible to toss in some Plug-in Chips that increase hacked machines’ levels and that will carry over to these fights.



I’ve been told the Small Biped armed with Axe is a goddamn beast in this arena. Let’s see if that holds any weight. I have a feeling they’ll start throwing in those shield jerks more often to deter just blasting everything with energy orbs so melee is probably the way to go.





Ready? FIGHT!


Music: Song of the Ancients ~ Atonement



Axe Boy here has a pretty nice moveset overall. Its default strike is a lunging dual-axe sweep with some decent range. It’s good for taking out a single machine in our path.



Its secondary attack is a Blanka like rolling forward spin that covers decent ground and will absolutely demolish a single target in its path.



The actual MVP is its Pod Program equivalent strong attack, which makes our little machine lifeform extend its arms and start rapidly rotating its torso into a buzzsaw of death. This is great against crowds and single enemies alike. The best part is that, unlike the first two attacks, we can still control its movement during the technique. It also lasts for like eight seconds with a second wind-up and cooldown being its only drawbacks.



So Axe Boy... pretty good little dude. Especially a Level 99 Axe Boy. But really, even a Level 99 Stubby can be a threat. It’s totally possible to demolish the first few ranks of this just spamming a Level 99 Stubby’s windmill arms flailing against everything. It’s just not the most expedient method of winning these matches.




Music: Underground Colosseum



A reward... for fighting?
Good luck in next battle.



9S, you’ve been rewarded for fighting everything under the sun since the game began. A good chunk of the time at the behest of other machines. No part of this ought to be weird to you. Take your handful of garbage and be happy.



And now get back into the ring. We’ve got another match to fight. No slacking now. I know this is all heading towards the final endings and that’s not going to be a good time for anyone involved. But mucking about here won’t stop that from happening.





Now show us what you’re made of... and FIGHT!


Music: Song of the Ancients ~ Atonement









A bunch of Level 50 machines against a Level 99 Axe Elemental is hardly a fair match. But they knew what they were getting into with these lax weight class regulations in these bouts. It’s not our fault they’re allowing Mike Tyson to go up against a bunch of Glass Joes and Gabby Jays.




Music: Underground Colosseum



That was an ugly match.
You sound like a true fighter. Good good.



Sadly, the best reward we get from this colosseum was that bonus costume for 9S. Any chips provided from any of the DLC arena matches are almost certainly the maximum plug-in slots which make them all but worthless.



But that won’t stop us from burning through the rest of this content. Onto the next match. Level 60 recommendation? Not a problem. We could handle that the first time we were here.





All right, let’s begin. Try not to get hurt, okay?


Music: Song of the Ancients ~ Atonement





The enemies are a bit more advanced this time around with bootleg Tachikoma and assorted Enhanced versions of Sphere Shaped machines being a lesser threat.





The second wave in this match might have been an issue for a melee character given it is a giant cluster of suicide bomber machines. But with our level capped boy, he can just walk away no-selling explosions like a badass.





The final round pits us against a Goliath Biped and some Medium Biped lads. That’s cute. The level gap is real, powerful, and not in you lot’s favor, I’m afraid. Chalk another victory to 9S brainjacking a machine lifeform! Don’t think too hard on the morality of any of this.




Music: Underground Colosseum



......



Again... these chips are just bad and worthless at this point in the game. Ironically, this would have been some decent stuff for Speed Star though. That stupid robot...



The penultimate match brings us a Level 70 recommendation. I actually ran as far as I could through all three arenas initially. I only recorded the first one though because... boy machines banging on each other for an extra five minutes isn’t good entertainment. That said, this is the one I couldn’t pass for this arena.





The oil will spew! The gears will fly! Now let’s get it on!


Music: Song of the Ancients ~ Atonement



We’ve got a wider spread of enemies here to contend with in this bout. Particularly, a non-Forest Kingdom type mounted unit. I’m only pointing this out because it’s definitely possible to encounter rare enemies during this match and they do NOT count towards the Unit Data total if destroyed during the DLC. Which is a real big bummer. Currently sitting at 92% of the required 95% for that one sidequest. Just gonna have to go grind for an hour... or two... depending on how much RNG hates me. And it’s hated me a lot this playthrough...





Beyond that, we’ve got some rarer Enhanced Units like the spider tank whose proper name I’m clearly refusing to look up and making synonyms for constantly the entire LP since they only show up like every 20 updates. And a Tank too. Tanks still melt to over-leveled adversaries. Doesn’t matter how large the size difference may be. The Level ratio judges all...





The final round pits us against over a dozen of our Small Biped compatriots. Sadly, they have not learned The Way of the Axe and are lacking fortitude in their ignorance. It goes badly for them...




Music: Underground Colosseum



It seems like strength is the only thing that matters here.
True. True true. Strength is why we fight.



Another lackluster reward. The reason we fight is that there is content and we need to see it. Yeah, it’s real fucked up if you think about it too hard. You shouldn’t! Moving on!



The final proper bout of the Underground Colosseum has a Level 80 recommendation. I’m glad they made the final challenges reasonable. And the bonus challenges total bullshit with actively trolling rewards. Oh did I spoil a theme of these things...? My bad!





But first, consider this: both competitors have fought long and hard to make it here... So why do they keep fighting? I’m sure we’ll know the answer soon. And with that... let us BEGIN!


Music: Song of the Ancients ~ Atonement



This is the final proper battle of this arena. Level 80 enemies, unlike the rest we’ve faced, if they get some good hits in can do some serious damage to our Level 99 Axe Boy. But not if we keep it smart and be good and mobile.







It’s mostly Enhanced Versions of folks we’ve seen. Man... there’s an Enhanced Leg Day guy I need to go grind for that Unit Completion percentage and I really wish the DLC counted... He could have been scary if Axe Spin didn’t immediately melt him before he could recover from his landing on the ground animation.



After that we’ve got a horde of Zombie Machines we’ve not seen since way back in Route A. They act exactly as they did back then. Just sort of shambling forward and vomiting. That’s WAY easier to avoid in a 3D environment, as it turns out! There’s also an out of place Enhanced stacked gunner unit hanging out here too. Not sure what that’s all about. It didn’t last long...





The actual final challenge is the Monster Type reborn. It’s now a Level 99 enemy that can potentially outright melt our unit if its laser hits it dead on. Thankfully, its animation is the slowest thing on the planet and its melee attacks are all bulky, awkward and easy to avoid.





I’ve since watched Shin Godzilla since that initial Monster Type Machine fight. That was... a neat 25 minute Godzilla film and a really boring 90 minute dunking on the Japanese government’s bureaucracy. Kudos to the supposed to be Japanese-American lady with the thickest Japanese accent of anyone speaking English in that film. I’m gonna be real... I’m not a fan of your chances of your Presidential run at office, even with your senator dad’s backing...




Music: Underground Colosseum



You overcame final obstacle. Congratulations. Do you now understand why we come here to fight?
I think I do.
We fight to find meaning. We fight to grow strong. It is life’s work. It is why this arena exists. It will continue on for long time to come. We have forgotten why we grow strong. But growing strong is all that matters. It is all that matters. You are just like us. We are the same.
Wait, what? That’s not—
......



See 9S. You and the machines aren't so different. Like remember that part about how you're part machine and thus it was morally in the right to set up you and everyone you know to eventually be killed? Good times. Here is the final reward. Again... trash.



That said, this is now the end of this DLC sidequest. Like its predecessor, it does have a Bonus Mission of questionable quality. But before we take a quick look at that, everyone now has some now dialog. I hope you like 9S actually getting praise for a change...



Little guy err... I don’t think I ever saw a machine in a referee jersey in any of those matches. What’s a referee jersey? Oh umm... Gee, look at the time! Hope you see your dad soon!



We’ll throw away our swords! Please teach us!

Let me tell you of the ways of the axe... The Satsui no Axeo.



He’s friends with one of the spectators here, so why don’t you go talk to him? He’s a big machine, so he should be easy enough to find.

Yeah, I think we know that machine. Though it seemed less friendly a relationship.



Out in the stands, heated matches still continue. However, all the spectators have a new champ they’re betting on. Let’s take a closer look.



Kill! Kill! Kill! Ki... Oh hey, 9S! Sup?

Just a diversion before getting back to that self-destructive quest for revenge and genocide of your kind. Ya know, the usual.



*fist pumps* My money’s on 9S!
*fist pumps* What he said!



Said nobody ever before this point. Yet still, despite being the people’s champion... zero people biting on the Nines nickname.



Dance like 9S and sting like 9S! Just, you know, be like 9S!
Ugh, no no no no NO. Did you even study 9S’s combat data?

Oh Christ, the machines have learned about slash fanfiction. And now others are getting mad about it going counter to established canon. Adam sent these guys down a dark path...



He’s been stealing parts from opponents he defeated to sell them and buy upgrades for himself. He’s been tinkering with his ego backup data as well, and I think he’s started to get a bit loopy... You may not have noticed, but you actually fought him before. Thanks for taking care of him. And congrats!

So that DLC item shop that sold several upgrade materials that otherwise had to be farmed? Yep. The player kills that merchant at some point during the final round and the store is gone forever. Hope you stocked up on what you needed beforehand! Did Platinum drum up some other old hands from the Cavia days to come back from whatever bridge they were guarding and work on this DLC?



That said, much like the first arena, this one contains a tad bit more content after all standard matches have been completed.



The Special Rank match has a recommended Level 99 and boy does it mean that...




Music: Bipolar Nightmare (Vocal)



And at the end, you will face the ultimate hero... Masamune! Fight as if your life depends on it!





This is a ten minute time limit match against five waves of nothing but Level 99 Enhanced model machine lifeforms of all shapes and sizes. Any one of ‘em can completely wreck up our controlled machine’s day in short order. In the final round, Masamune the Weaponsmith enters the fray. He’s a Level 99 Axe Wielder like we’d been using for most of the matches this update. Only every one of his attacks cause a full arena shockwave that will one-shot you



The reward for completing this challenge is Masamune’s Mask, an accessory that grants an increase of 30 Levels to any hacked and remote controlled machine lifeform! That’s quite the boon... if we weren’t already at the fucking level cap! Are you for real with this DLC?





Yea, I’m good. So ends our time in the Underground Colosseum and ever participating in the hacking and controlling a machine lifeform gimmick during this LP.

Music: ENDS



Tune in next time as we go complete the third and final DLC arena. I’m sure the reward for the special rank of that one will be a full 4k photo of goa—







































Stronger, stronger... You must become stronger.



That’s what they kept telling me, so I tried.



I tried to become stronger. I tried and I tried.



But in the end, I...






Video: Episode 145 Highlight Reel





Machine Lifeform Gun Concept Art – That’s a lot of mechanical design to go into something that just shoots purple spheres.