NieR: Automata Part #154 - Episode CXLVIII: Failure in Motor Function

Part 154: Episode CXLVIII: Failure in Motor Function

Episode CXLVIII: Failure in Motor Functions

Alright... it might be a month late to start on that New Year’s resolution of getting fit. But it’s better late than never. Let’s start with some light jogging and then some lif—oh, wait... Wrong file. Ehm... We’re given a loading screen with some limited options. Only one, in fact. I hope you like this faux-monitor frame effect cuz it’s not going away!

Gonna be real, most mornings lately I’m definitely having a 12% deficiency in thought circuits as well. I’ve got to get my sleep cycle back on track. Dragging something fierce.

Activation approved. 3... 2... 1... Activating Plato.

Head to Room 18 immediately for your motor functions examination. That is all.

Meet our new player character: Plato 1728. He was actually the narrator in all of those storybook segments we’ve been seeing at the conclusion of the three colosseum trials. It’s probably hard to tell from screenshots alone but he is clearly pretty jacked. He’s vibrating and shaking more than the standard machine lifeform, sparking on various parts of his body at regular intervals and one of his eyes can’t seem to keep lit. I’m sure it’s fine.

We’re tasked with going to this Room 18 for testing on our clearly compromised motor functions. And we could do that right away and end this segment in about five minutes. But there are a ton of machine lifeforms hanging out that we can and should chat with before resuming our duties. Let’s take a look...

Tests don’t indicate any abnormalities in his visual circuits, so I have no clue what’s up with him.

(Dreamer Machine) Good morning, Plato 1728. Today’s the day of your activation then, is it? Say, I’ve been seeing these weird images while in sleep mode recently. It’s almost as if I’m actually not asleep. The images are different every time; sometimes they’re fun, sometimes they’re sad. I ever had an experience where I turned into a human being! I wonder where all this miraculous imagery comes from... Have you ever had the same thing happen to you?

Well... there was this one time in a strange forest where I suddenly entered sleep mode and everything turned to text. Oddest thing, I tell ya... When I told others about it their opinions were divisive. Seems the duller folks I knew had a similar experience but it was a scene of trying to fish on a pier but it was somehow the wrong pier. There was a giant red X telling them where the right pier was... but they couldn’t manage it. Then they woke up and complained on the network. Weird stuff, man... Weird stuff.

Same. While this is a Machine on a Break, it is not the Machine on a Break -- future party member of NieR 3. There’s actually a number of “Machine on a Break” designated boys loafing about today.

Plato 1728, you’re especially janky, so take good care of yourself, ya hear?

Janky is a word I’m getting sick of hearing when referring to video games with questionable mechanics or buggy elements but... it’s kind of the best descriptor word there is for it. Such is the limits of human communication.

Heading on out, we’ve got some stairs leading down and a dead end to the right. If you cannot tell, we’re in a previously unseen section of the Abandoned Factory. Though, at this point in time it’s just a Factory. Fully functional and staffed by tons of machines. Not that the present day version wasn’t lousy with robot boys. It’s just the whole use of it as a production line seemed to have ceased.

You’re dumber than the rest, so you watch your step, okay?

......

I feel sorry for you flightless units. Legs are so useless.

You say that, but it’s the same sort of issue with flying cars. Yeah, it’d be rad if you had it and all. But do you really want every other dipshit out there to have access to a flying automobile too? People can barely handle four wheels and a linear road.

Anyway, down the stairs we go, vaguely towards our destination...

I wonder what’s in there...

Ehh... that’s just the Machine Illuminati building. It’s no big deal. Just a bunch of pretentious old machines playing at running the world.

Continuing onward, poor Plato 1728 has a complete motor function failure, resulting in the machine becoming stunned for about 5-10 seconds. This randomly happens the duration of this segment of the DLC. Little bit annoying but it goes a long way to show our machine lifeform pal here is extremely jacked and we should probably get on with our mission. But nah... More talking!

Feels like you’re being sucked in, doesn’t it?

With Plato’s current athletic abilities, I doubt he could make the jump. Moving on!

If I don’t do well enough, I’m gonna get demoted again. Urrrgh, just thinking about it makes my core hurt... You’re as clumsy as I am, so you understand the feeling, right?

Encouraging Machine Don’t get yourself all worked up. It’s just training. Just relax and loosen your bolts a bit.

Now I’m just imaging some rando Stubby hopping out with a chip on its shoulder, followed by a freeze frame and a Yakuza nameplate appearing showing its name and rank.

Nah. Just exhausting dialog and occasionally having our legs stop functioning. We’ll be sure to hit up that Mako Reactor core looking ass looking area when we’re done poking around.

Like checking out this back room fight club. Turns out machines had been getting into blood sports long before Adam came along and gentrified it all with his bullshit.

Ah crap. I don’t think Plato is going to be entering the squared circle anytime soon... Just a moment. He’ll get it together shortly.

Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! Destroy! KILL!

Intrigued Machine Lots of machines from around here are coming over to watch the combat training sessions. I figured I’d have a look as well, but I don’t see the appeal at all. Anyway, everyone knows that YOU need the training, so start gearing up!

Hard pass. Battle Arenas are a stupid idea. Who’d want to do those? You just fight waves of guys for middling rewards? Absurd waste of time and resources.

Let’s head back out and continue onward down the path leading up to an assembly line. A few machines are hanging out here at the moment. Sup, guys?

Everything makes us freak out, pretty much.

Given the programming of all the machine lifeforms, I’m starting to suspect the aliens were all anxiety riddled depressed jerks.

Our victory is nigh!

Child Machine Wow, that weapon sure is big! I wonder how many of me would fit in there?

Machine on a Break Ugh. I’m too tired to even move. We’re way understaffed! The guys at the top have no idea how hard this work is. I hope we can get this thing up and running before the next big battle...

It’s not made clear internally when the Plato records are meant to take place. But if we look back at the Machine Examination sidequest and the Engels 110-B Record – this all likelihood is that Engels (there is an official timeline of events which 100% lines up with that one being one of the first four of Engels ever constructed.) Which means this is taking place in 11943 -- so two years after A2’s bogus adventure/the formation of YoRHa and two before the events of NieR: Automata. He'll be finished February 14th. Have a fun crunch the next two weeks!

Moving right along, there’s only one staircase and an interior structure left to explore before it’s off to the test chamber. No sense in waiting around.

.........It’s kinda fun, actually.

Melancholic Machine I’m so tired of working... I just feel like jumping down from here.

The heck is going on back there that has all of you so burnt out?

I... well... That’s new. A complete din of machines furiously chattering and typing on computer consoles fills this room. They seem real busy. So let’s do the most natural thing to do in an RPG and bug absolutely everyone. Yes. Everyone. Every last machine in this room has unique dialogue.

Relatable.

Don’t talk to me. I’m trying to concentrate.

Why do we have to work?

This is apparently the control center for machine lifeforms’ combat operations. Distinct lack of skin tight leather outfits and cat pictures in this work environment. That cannot be good for morale... Unless otherwise noted, all of these machines are just named “Operator Machine”.

I have a feeling my vision has deteriorated because of staring at monitors all day, so I’m thinking of getting glasses. Problem is though, I don’t want to make too much of a SPECTACLE of myself. Pfffffffhehehe. This is what humans call a “pun,” a high-level communication technique. I read in an old book that people who are proficient at puns used to be revered as divine messengers. I like the sound of that!

......

I don’t want to make a spectacle of myself by putting on glasses... Hehehe. Spectacle... So good...

I cannot believe machine lifeforms got their hands on historical records of Geop.

Oh geez... Aww heck. Not now in front of everyone. First the fight club and now the game dev crun—I mean command center. This is getting to be embarrassing.

We haven’t been able to properly stock up on supplies for months. It’s all because of this giant weapon we’re building.

Don’t think, don’t think, whatever you do, don’t think... That’s right, just keep moving your hands, don’t stop to think...

Squad 17, please respond. It’s no use... There’s too much static, and I can’t hear a single thing.

I’ve heard rumors there’s a Resistance camp somewhere in the city. We should really find out its exact location.

The air in this room is terrible.

I’m getting so sick of everyone complaining all the damn time. Grow up and do your job, geez.

OK. For meteorite go talk to the Scientist Machine on the edge of the Amusement Park ruins. The Resistance Camp is to the southeast of the city under the giant tarps with the androids coming in and out constantly. The rest of you? On your own.

Yes, please rendezvous with Delta Squad when you’re done.

I wish this war would end already.

I feel like I’m about to overheat...

Bub, we’re crackling with raw electrical charges from within our body constantly. I don’t even want to hear it about overheating.

And then this goes here... And voila! Perfect!

When I’m done with this, I need to arrange the supplies, then contact the ground troops, and then... I don’t think I’ll be going home today.

.........I’m busy......... Leave me alone.

Plato just needs to hit up some dinky test chamber and he has the rest of the day off. Sure, his life is complete suffering on the physical level. But no twelve hour work days!

Better hurry, or you’ll get another earful. Good luck!

A large android squad has been sighted at the flooded city. All nearby units should proceed with caution.

Second platoon, move out!

My superiors are assholes, my job sucks, my colleagues are useless. This place is the pits.

“Someone has a case of Mondays,” the operator machine was told just before ripping out its co-worker’s core and stabbing it 18 times in a blood rage.

Just one of them can wipe out multiple machine troops.

Geez, this stupid terminal froze on me AGAIN.

Did you try turning it on and off. This applies to both the terminal and YoRHa androids.

Just when I thought I was done working, there was another pile of tasks waiting for me...

We’ve had a lot of deserters recently. We really should start doing something.

The Forest Kingdom was established over a century ago. Y’all are really taking time moving the bureaucracy to deal with AWOL machines through the pipeline, huh?

Our electricity bill is through the roof this month! Some units are particularly wasteful, it seems. I’ll have to give them a warning.

I’ve heard that something called “religion” is gaining popularity in some districts.

We’re so understaffed, it’s ridiculous.

Welp, looks like I’ll be working through the night again today...

I like the idea there’s some power plant AI out there built by the humans that is still sending power bills to addresses and the machines are having to scrounge up remaining scraps of old currencies to keep the lights on.

We have to do something about these YoRHa troops...

We’ve lost contact with so many troops. We don’t even know if they got destroyed or just deserted.

It must be real fucked for the machines to essentially be crappy Terminators dealing with the scrappy human resistance in the flash forward sequences for thousands of years. Then suddenly one day a crazy anime cyborg runs in like a lunatic and Zandatsus your entire company, Red Hot Kicks all your support vehicles into pieces and dashes off into the night. Seemingly while blindfolded the entire time.

If being burnt out tired was all it took to become a god then start calling me Yahweh.

Corporate leadership... Corporate leadership never changes.

I’ll be going home in a minute, but you’ll be staying here for the night. You know that, right?

I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m behind schedule by about a week...

Middle management. The one constant throughout the eons.

This dude knows what’s up. Heed his sage like advice.

Anyway, let’s get back on track with our original mission. Plato needs to double back and cross the bridge near the mysterious geometric structure. There’s a last couple of machines to chat with along the way.

I guess this is how I was born too, huh?

Manufactured... Born... Sure. There are much weirder ways. Don’t ever look up how humans used to do it. Bizarre shit.

I’m sure you’ll do just peachy, you clunky piece of junk! Bwahahaha!

Little dude, there’s a flight of stairs right over there. Don’t make Plato start you rolling. Guy is having a rough enough day as it is. Cheeky Stubby aside, let’s head on in for...

Starting examination of motor functions. Move to the location highlighted by the marker within the allotted time. Commencing examination.

We’ve now got a real dumb little trial. We need to move Plato to markers that appear around the room. Seems easy enough. Except for the part where we need to do platforming with a janky Medium Biped machine. That’d be tricky alone.

Now couple this with the fact Plato’s motor functions will randomly break down mid-trial.

More frequently than ever before, in fact. Say... every 10-20 seconds he’ll be stunned and locked down for a good 5+ seconds. That’s not great for a timed platforming trial.

Ultimately, Plato is unable to scrape by in his examination. But that’s OK. He’ll get a second chance.

You’ll get it this time, buddy! You were probably just nervous. It happens. And causes the complete breakdown of all motor functions for 5.8 seconds.

This time around there are far more target areas that appear at once. So Plato has way more of a chance to succeed. There actually is a 15 target threshold to pass in order to complete this segment. It’s not just a scripted fail beyond the first time where he has zero shot of winning. This uhh... ain’t great gameplay. But that’s not really what we’re here for... Though come to think of it... didn't Blade Wolf's DLC in Metal Gear Rising also have crappy box platforming stuff? Is this just Platinum's DLC thing?

Half-way through the timer, Plato will start busting up again. The ring targets also will begin appearing and vanishing more frequently. For balancing purposes, you see. Wouldn’t want to make the trial too easy and have some half-assed machines out there. They did that once and now there’s a model that is just stacked eight body segments tall and just stares. That’s it all does. I hear they dumped them in the desert as psychological warfare against the androids.

Once Plato does get the minimum of targets, they’ll begin appearing and vanishing just out of range of Plato to the point he’ll almost never get any. It’s kinda frustrating if you don’t know it’s intentional. Sure, just throw more last minute trolling. I don’t know why I don’t constantly expect it at this point.