Part 27: Episode XXVI: The Most Dangerous Catch

Episode XXVI: The Most Dangerous Catch


Music: Peaceful Sleep (Vocal)



OK. That’s one morally dubious quest in the backlog down. Let’s move on to checking out that sig—hold it... Wait up... Since when are there TWO weirdo androids wearing machine heads in the camp? What’s your story, dude...?



Put this on, and you can see the whole world!



A Strange Resistance Man has joined the Strange Resistance Woman in completely disregarding the 4th Wall and providing a few tutorial tips. Or rather... I think this might be less tutorial and more a series of questions playtesters had and this may as well be Yoko Taro telling them to shut up, nerds. Fine... We’ll play ball. Let’s just go down the list...

> Reading mail is inconvenient.



Still, there are a lot of androids who use mail because they like how retro it is. Kind of a hipster thing, I guess.

Good to know hipsters are still a thing 11,000 years in the future. As is email. Time is a flat circle.

> It’s hard to see the 3D map...



The satellite camera doesn’t have very good resolution, so you can’t see fine details or tell what’s underground. Other androids are also dissatisfied with it, but that’s the way it is, I’m afraid. Some choose to walk on their own two feet and discover things for themselves... Hint, hint! You’ll just have to get used to it.

I bet he’s winking under that mask. Assuming it’s a mask and he didn’t just replace his head with a machine’s head. I... don’t know... if androids can do that. Hey, can I ask a bonus question...? No? Frick. Fiiiine...

> What’s the currency in this world?



It’s much easier than digging up the iron ourselves. Worth is decided according to weight of the enemy and value of the parts obtained. We call that unit ‘G’. ...Huh? What’s ‘G’ stand for? Sorry! That’s classified.

Gum. We’re operating entirely on a Gum based economy in the far flung future. Intact Bazooka Joe pieces are worth a small fortune. Juicy Fruit are the pennies of this system. It’s very complex. But, enough of that... Final question!

> What’s a black box?



The black box is a fusion reactor installed in all YoRHa units. But we Resistance folks don’t know much about its construction. Apparently it uses some kind of mysterious material... Say, maybe you’d let me rip it out of you and take it apart for analysis! ...No? Hey, fair enough. Can’t blame a guy for trying.

Alright, big guy. That’s enough questions for today. Not sure why they waited about half-way through the first playthrough to add this weirdo. Strange Resistance Woman might get additional functionality later on. But this guy is just here to tell you it’s just a video game, you should probably chill.



Anyway, we DID get a new sidequest from 6O on the way to dealing with the YoRHa Betrayers Burn Notice murders. Let’s knock that out real quick, since it is right in the area.


Music: Rays of Light (Medium)



As we head back out into the field, it is worth mention that most all wandering machine lifeforms in the field have ceased being docile and now will immediately aggro if they spot any androids in their vicinity. There is still the seldom wandering neutral machine on occasion. But it’s very rare now and they’ll shortly vanish completely. Can’t even fish in peace anymore. A shame...





The Access Terminal in question is the same one Jackass installed following our meet-and-greet with Eve and Adam in the alien graveyard. Seems the machines haven’t taken kindly to the installation of a busted vending machine in their neighborhood.



Alert: Jamming signals detected from enemy units.
Yeah?
That’s not good.



Hey! Jackasses! Knock that shit off! Do you know how expensive those vending machines are...? At least a few thousand G? What...? No, I don’t know how much a G is worth in old world currency. Why even care?! You’re a sentient trashcan! Why am I even talking to you?!



So you may notice these machines have a new paint job. These are Enhanced versions of machine lifeforms we’ve already seen aka a Palette Swap. No, this game won’t be going the Final Fantasy X route of having 53 slightly reskinned varieties of the same dozen machines. There’s only the one reskin of the same dozen machines and this is it! Enhanced Machines are usually about 5+ levels above the average wandering machine at any point in the game and are far more aggressive than the average robot.



Due to their level buff, they obviously hit much more damaging than most but... otherwise, they’re exactly the same as their predecessor models. I guess they might be somewhat faster on the draw. But that just might be the red paint job tricking me into believing they're faster. It’s difficult to say. Regardless, given the rough time we had fighting those hostile androids earlier, this is a piece of cake.





Afterwards, we just need to sort out those Enhanced Stubby machines and the Access Point should be free and clear! Job well do—



Oh... Huh. Didn’t notice you there, axebot. Were you hiding in the caves or something? Sneaky little bugge—





AWW CHRIST! I think we stepped into the wrong neighborhood. Turns out they were holding a Machine Lifeform Lumberjack convention nearby and they got wind the androids were bullying the boys down in the alien graveyard hole again.



And they are PISSED!





Suddenly getting assaulted by eight big axe-wielding jerks jumping in the hole to rumble is more startling than difficult. Despite being Enhanced versions, they still telegraph all their attacks by a mile and dodging any of their blows is so generous that they may as well not even try. Additionally, despite looking quite large, these guys really have trouble staying on their feet. A Perfect Dodge > Pod Counter will send everyone hit by the blow flying. Missile Pod also does fairly well here since it’s simple enough to pull back and just dump on the crowd. With a Mirage Pod Program to punish the entire group when they catch up.





Regardless, destroying the lumberjack machine brigade will bring this very short sidequest to a close. As soon as we inspect the Access Point and confirm it’s still functional, Pod 042 will relay mission success back to the Bunker and the Commander immediately phones back...



The signal from the access point just came back online. Good job.
I have some information about that, Commander.
Go on.
The access point went offline because machine lifeforms were jamming it.
Which means they know that facility is one of our network terminals...
Yeah, but that’s not all. While they knew it was connected to our network, they didn’t try to destroy it. It’s almost like they were trying to lay a trap.
Damn... They’re getting smarter by the day. Thank you. I’ll be sure to share this with the Council of Humanity on the moon.
Understood.





And with a modest EXP bonus, that concludes the short sidequest to see what’s up with machines kicking our vending machines in a pit. Great, now the machines are setting ambushes. It starts with something simple like that... Then the next thing you know some poor android is trapped in some hellish Home Alone-esque scenario concocted by the machines.





We do have one final bit of business in our backlog before we start taking on any new sidequests. Remember that email Jackass sent us? Something about a fish...? How about we go check that out. The last place we saw Jackass was back in the Desert Camp. Let’s see if she’s still hanging out around there...


Music: Memories of Dust (Quiet)





Like I care what you think, jerk!

Looks like Jackass and the Desert scout android aren’t on the friendliest of terms. Oh well. Jackass has been alright to us so far. Let’s see what she wants, eh?



So this thing is called a “mackerel” and apparently eating it has a horrible effect on androids. I’d love to see what it does, so go ahead and chow down.


Music: Broken Heart (Vocal)





...OK. That’s a bit ominous. And the music isn’t helping. But, I mean... It’s just a mackerel. It’s just an oily fish. I mean they spoil quickly, but I’m assuming it was caught recently and not stuck Jackass’s pocket for a week. Also, I’m really hoping the humans didn’t program androids with the ability to get food poisoning...



Well... What’s the worst that can happen...?

It’s just a mackerel.



...Just a mackerel.



Whatever! Let’s do this thing. 2B ain’t gonna back down from no lousy fish. Glory to Manki—



”It was good, though,” the android thought as consciousness faded.
“Exquisite even. No wonder humans used to eat them...”





Just a mackerel...






Video: Episode 26 Highlight Reel





Machine Lifeform Concept Art – How would they even keep balance on two wheels? That’s ridiculous! You’d have toppled over robots all over the place...