Part 56: Episode LV: Round 3

Episode LV: Round 3


Music: End of the Unknown (Dynamic)



Time for the real bout between YoRHa No. 2 Type B and Adam “Human Tie Installation Records Incomplete” Manbot.



At no point in history has there been a warning for a dude named Adam. C’mon. No Adam has ever ascended higher than upper level mid-boss. The original one got bamboozled by a snake telling his girlfriend to be a dumbass and they haven’t gotten better since then. This one is no different.





Adam retains all abilities from the previous round. Not any of the Cubemancy, mind you. He needs to renew his subscription to the Machine Network ($9.99 a month or $24.99 for three months!) to regain access to those abilities and that doesn’t fall in line with his newfound lust for blood sports.



A handful of new abilities have been added to the mix, as well as a few he was leaving out from previous tournament matches against him. Most of them involve utilizing his crazy energy wisps. For instance...





Adam now has a grab attack which he’ll use to pull 2B over to his position. She’s stunned briefly after being dragged over and Adam will waste no time to either energy pimp-slap our android or axe kick her in the face. Whatever suits his fancy. The grab isn’t too difficult to avoid since he has a long wind-up animation where he swings back and charges both arms with... they don’t really explain what’s up with the energy powers. His brother doesn’t really do that kind of stuff, besides putting Tekken-esque electricity flourishes on moves and teleporting.





Speaking of charged fighting game moves, many of Adam’s physical attacks now have powered up versions in this round. That’s just a straight up a Metsu Shoryuken right there, I’ll tell you what.





The downside to most of Adam’s flashy new versions of moves is that he is INCREDIBLY open to punishment if he whiffs them and has massive potential to do so since they take longer to perform. It’s a really complicated input, you see. None of the machine lifeforms can play charge characters worth a shit.





The energy geysers from the final phase of the original No-Wang Angel battle against Adam make their return. They’re functionally identical to the initial fight, just with a damage boost obviously. I’m pretty sure 2B could face tank the entirety of Level 5-8 Adam’s move set at this point in the game with zero damage done to her.



Finally, Adam does possess a flashy super combo 2B can get caught in. He seems incredibly happy to land it since he laughs his ass off while kicking the shit out of 2B. Well at least he’s having some fun.



In any case, that’s about it for Adam’s new attack abilities. As far as fighting him goes? Err... You dodge his attacks and hit him a bunch. Same tactics as before... Break his parry shield a bunch, dodge the counter, punish. Or just dodge his physical attacks and punish ‘em. NieR: Automata’s combat is not very deep. Do not go into this game expecting a Bayonetta or even a Metal Gear Rising. You’ll be gravely disappointed. That aside... Adam is disconnected from the network and wanted a death match. Sooo...

Music: ENDS



Aaaargh!



*general unpleasant grunts from being stabbed in the gut with a four foot long sword*





Hey creeper... Learn...



...some PERSONAL SPACE!



BARF!
*dies*



And that is all for Adam the Machineman. He wasn’t lying about cutting himself off from the network and perma-death being enabled. Adam is fuckin’ dead! Full stop. In the end... did he ever grow a dick? We’ll never know. We’ll never know...





Well enough about that dead nerd. We should probably get back to attending to that impaled only semi-dead nerd. The one we like tolerate were assigned to...



Oh good... He managed to get himself down somehow. Well, that moves things along nicely. So 9S... Buddy, pal...



9S what the HELL was that about with the five second warning before that missile hit that giant machine? Huh? You nearly blew me up! You DID blow me up! I got launched all the way back to the shore and lost consciousness for EIGHT HOURS, 9S! Do you know how bad it is to be offline for EIGHT HOURS?! A machine could have just wandered on up and killed me at any point... Plus I lost *another* Flight Unit and I’m guessing, giving you’re hanging out here with that creepy weirdo machine, you lost yours too. Good work, 9S. Great! The Commander is going to be thrilled with us about that one... Those things cost the same as TEN YoRHa androids, 9S. Ten! 6O told me after the last set we lost and the Commander was pissed...
*twitch*
Five seconds. Really? No verbal warning? No... ‘Heads up, 2B! Missile launched!’ You just throw up a five second general alert timer on the network HUD and that’s it? I know how missiles work. They take a while to arm. You had time to give a fair warning... But no. Don’t want to ruin 9S’s missile surprise! I told Pod not to report you for desertion because I believed you had it handled. Maybe that was a bad call...
*groan*
You know I just remembered I have no idea what happened to that Pascal machine after the missile hit. I haven’t seen him since then. That machine could be dead for all I know. So next time you’re at the machine’s village, feel free to explain to that one machine with the pink bow where children come from and why you murdered her Uncle Pascal with a missile strike...
Ugh. 2...?



And another thing... that whole “Nines” nickname? Stop trying to push that! I know nobody calls you Nines. All your friends call you that? What friend, 9S? WHAT FRIENDS? I’m the only person you EVER hang out with and that’s just because we’re assigned together. I was messing with my plug-in chip configuration for a good 20 minutes the other day in the middle of the Resistance Camp and you didn’t even attempt to make the first bit of small talk with any of the Resistance androids. Not a one! I finished and you were just standing exactly where I left you leering at my butt. And don’t think I don’t know you’re staring there. I KNOW!
B-Bee...? *spits up blood*
I have NEVER heard you talk to anyone else! None of these people that supposedly call you “Nines.” Not even your Operator. Do you even HAVE an Operator, 9S? Operator 6O just sent me ANOTHER email full of cat pictures. I don’t even KNOW what a cat is! Was it something humans ate? I have no idea. But she keeps sending me pictures of them and I keep accepting because she’s my friend. I have those and nobody has given me a stupid fake nickname, Nine-S.
Ugh...



You know what, 9S? Maybe one of your pals that call you Nines will come and help you out. Maybe you haven’t nearly blown THEM up with a missile... Good luck with that...







Idiot.






Video: Adam Boss Battle and Aftermath (You should watch this.)





Adam Official Art – Dude just has ZERO idea how to work a tie or belt. That’s why he’s wearing loafers.