Part 11: Zone 2 - Residential Area

Welcome back! So now that we've seen the south (zone entrance), north (shopping district), and west (park) sides of Bismark, how about we see what's to the east?





Music - Desperately Safe

This is the residential district, where all our cute little Elsen buddies live!



This guy is real concerned about our tie situation. I believe we have an item to fix that, but I'm going to look around the area real quick before I equip it.



: They're even made of soft, harmless rubber. That's good.



: Imagine the panic if intruders ever sneaked into our homes...

Intruders? Being sneaky? Well uh I wouldn't know anything about that...





The perfect disguise!



Showing this guy our stylin' tie removes the barrier between us and the residential area proper.



If you are playing along, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU SAVE.



Entering the next screen starts a cutscene. The camera pans across a vast expanse of twisting paths and pepto-pink houses before settling on a plaza full of Elsen.





: Crave my parden immediately, or I will send you back to limbo this instant.

: Did you hear something?

: Poor cretins!! I am here, right in front of you, ready to send you to hell! So? Are you ready to apologize to your father and protector, you band of wimps?

: There's nothing but an old cat, up there.

: It could be a dangerous cat... It has sharp claws.

: Yes, and it can spread disease...

: Have you heard the story of the guy who got scratched by a cat?

: Aaarrggghh !! I hate you! I hate you all!

: But where's that voice coming from? Must be someone who's in a bad mood...

: Yes, he should take the time to relax and enjoy this place... So flat and quiet. Here, we're safe.

: But that was me! It was I who made it all like that for you! Are you all so blinded by your pathetic fear of living?

: This is all rather strange, isn't it?

: That is it!! I am going to teach you to respect me...





: And fast.

Music - Unreasonable Behavior (This is the only music for this entire section, including fights, so be sure to restart it if it ends before you've finished reading.)

And thus we begin the section the metal barns way back in zone 1 was preparing us for.



We have four minutes to clear the town of specters! Let's get moving! Wait, what is that door just ahead of us?



A code-locked vault. We don't have the code, so we'll have to come back later.



Let's punch this dude in the dick immediately.



Ugh oh gross what's wrong with its stupid head??



Porter Spectres are a pain in the fuckin' ass. 230 hp doesn't seem like a big deal, but once you've drained it they transform.





Each little group of three needs to be beaten down seperately, and they've all got 230 health each. It's not hard, it just takes forever.



And we have to do it seven more times.



Heading east we find a doorway and an Elsen who is just FREAKING OUT.



It's cool man, we've got this.



The doorway leads to an empty house, but heading out the other exit is the only way to reach one of the specters.



How did this dick even climb a ladder??





But... do you like our tie? I feel like we look pretty stylish.

Fine fine, the city, we're on it. Back out through the house and to the east we find this guy:



: You know, the one with 1805 as the access code...

This might be the code for the bunker we passed when we first started! We'll make our way back and check in a second, but let's destroy this prick to the right first.



Aaaand let's take a peek at that bunker directly above us, with the Elsen pounding frantically on the door.



: I can't get in! The spectres will hurt me! Aaaaah! AAAaaah!

This fella is freaking out too much to move, so we can't check if 1805 is the access code for this door. Let's head back to the entrance and check the first bunker door out.



I was entering the numbers so fast it was real hard to grab a screenshot for this! But alas, this is not the right code for this door, and nothing happens. Let's head north with 3 minutes remaining.



It's a winding path with lots of screamin' guys. We're handling this, man, come on!



Aha! Found you, sneaky jerk!





Only four left now, so let's check out this door just below us.



Hey fella, I can see you there.





Ah! This was a bit of a surprise to me, I missed that there were burnt in this zone my first time through. These poor guys are panicking so much they can't control themselves.





By this point we've fought a long bunch of battles without a save point, so our CP is getting fairly low.



Yuuup. Time to gobble up some of those items we've been hoarding.



All right, back on the trail! What's up with you, little Elsen buddy?



: I think it might... KABLOOOOSH





Guys his head literally just fucking exploded.





Oh hey! This is a much better version of Save First Base, healing a party member for a significant chunk of health.

: I... I did not deserve this ...

Shit, man.



He disappears like all the other burnt we've purified.



This guy is just to the left of the previous screen. The reason I didn't immediately go for that specter is because -



- there's another vault here! And when we enter the code given to us previously, it opens right up.





Nice! Golden flesh is one step above a Silver flesh, like a super ether, and we really need that CP recovery right now.



Okay yeah yeah, save the town, 2 minutes left, I'm on it I swear!



Fortunately the timer doesn't continue ticking while we're in combat. I swear these fights take forEVER.



Time to head into the town square, where we saw the phantoms arrive in the first place.



Oh but wait, what's up the stairs?





Nah I think I'm going to go in that building first. There might be treasure!



: I'll tell you everything...

Not physical treasure, but the treasure of knowledge! This guy has some things to tell us.



: I... I don't know... I'm not in charge of that particular bunker... Too much responsibility is too stressful...

: The code of the southwest bunker

: Yes... Yes, I'll give it to you right away, it's... 1402...

: The code of the southeast bunker

: N... No... Uh... I don't know...

: Will there be an Off sequel?

: W... What? What are you talking about?

There's a new bunker code for us! We don't have much time left so let's hoof it over to that southwest bunker before we lose!



Man I got stuck on so many walls heading back it is basically insane. This section is EXTREMELY FRANTIC if you're trying to find everything!



Yes! We made it! What's inside?



He sprints backwards into the corner, blocking the chest.



Talking to him initiates combat. He's the final burnt in the area. Sorry, guy.



Oh wait, shit a new bat? That is extremely worth beating a civilian to death for. But now we've only got 57 seconds to get back to the plaza where the last three ghosts are! Time to book it!



Run, Batter run!





All right, here's the first bugger. Let's get him out of the way.



Sometimes when I fight these guys they don't split into the smaller ghosts. Only one in this whole zone didn't split, but I have no idea why. I thought it might be related to how fast I killed the big ghost, or if my final blow had a lot of overkill, but it doesn't seem to matter, really.





Oh completely rad. Overdone Perspective cures poison and sleep, and is amazingly helpful. Omega is a rad little status-removing dude!



(Haha that spelling! You don't really notice when you're in a rush, though.)



Let's fuck up this guy's day!



Only 38 seconds left! Last one! Where's the last one?



Dude, are you sure there's not going to be an OFF sequel??



Yeah all right, fine. Let's save the town then.



The last phantom is right out front.



We wipe the floor with him and Alpha levels up before the screen fades to black.









For finding all the burnt in the area, we get an extra prize! A Sunday is a special and rare piece of equipment that goes in the Special slot on any party member. It prevents the holder from ever being poisoned. I equip this on the Batter.

Music - Desperately Safe



: Where can I find Japhet?

: Japhet? Who's Japhet?

: The cat who directs the specters.

: Uh... the cat? Um... I don't know...

: A... Anyway, we thank you for helping us. But, uh... That thing you have there...

: My bat?

: Yes... your... bat... That's an awfully dangerous object... I'll have to ask you to leave the residential area. ... and give us your tie...

: You... you should understand, of course... it's a measure of security...



Aw man. We are unceremoniously dumped out in the street sans tie, and there is no way to return to the residential district.



Oh but wait, speaking of cats!



: Valerie, my beloved brother, appears to have fallen off the rails of conciousness and into the depths of uncontrollable madness. He calls himself Japhet, and, in addition to being the royal agent he has never been, proclaims himself chief of the spectres. Two roles he has usurped, no doubt. Nobody in this world, I can assure you, has any control over the ectoplasms...

: ... Except perhaps the Queen, but I have yet to find any concrete evidence or testimony to prove this hypothesis. Anyway, Valerie settled on the roof of the library. And, although I suppose this could have been just a coincidence, it seems that ghosts are swarming the corridors of the same building.

: I believe this is a perfect mission for you, full of all that gratuitous violence which you seem to revel with glee.

: Okay. I'll go to the library.

: I will follow you.

With that, the Judge disappears into the Batter. Even though we can't see him, we know he's following close behind.



Poor Valerie. Poor Judge. I wonder if we'd told the Judge earlier that we'd met a cat if it would have made any difference?


Next time: let's head to the roof of the library.