Part 12: The True Horror of LivingUpdate 12: The True Horror of Living
Finding Shapes in the Cloud
We are back in the plaza because there's a surprisingly large amount of things we did not do before heading to the park. For one, there's still three stores we haven't even checked out yet
Take a Load Off
First up, the pizza place - Gino's! Damn, I could go for a pizza... I'm sure Sunny can too - he's only eaten that steak and then threw it up. Sadly, we spent all our money on Hero's gift and then that pet rock. Maybe we should get around to fixing that. Since this is an RPG, to get money we'll obviously need to go grind some rats in the sewer section to-
...Or we can get a job instead.
PIZZA MAN: Coooooool... Let me help you get started.
Oh! You're taking this job, Sunny? In that case, I'll come back for you later. Work hard, okay?
Sorry Kel, but you took all our money, we have to earn it back somehow!
PIZZA MAN: Ah, I'll just start with the good news. So the good news is... we got three different pizza orders today! The bad news is... our delivery boy suddenly called in sick yet again... These customers are all our regulars, so we stopped recording their addresses a long time ago. I can't remember where they live off the top of my head, but I do remember what their houes look like! Here! Just take these notes and you'll be fine! I'll go grab your uniform.
I'm blaming Kel for this.
PIZZA MAN: Don't be shy! Wear you uniform loud and proud! Now remember, you have three pizzas to deliver. When you're done, just bike your way back to the shop. I'm counting on you!
I Prefer My Pizza 90% Grease
Alright! Time to be a pizza boy! I mean, how hard can it be, right? It's just a minimum wage job, easy peasy!
This job is actually the one I find to be the most fun, if only because I get to challenge myself to read this handwriting. I'm so far perfect with this being my third go through! Probably because my own handwriting isn't much better
Here's the answer if you're having trouble: Look for the house that has the brown rug and the purple roof with a chimney.
Now our objective is to find the house that matches the description. There are 4 houses per street, with 3 streets total per delivery. Thankfully, the streets can be found by just walking all the way to the right. No need to cross roads or anything like that.
There's our house!
We are the chicken scratch reader! One down, two to go...
Find the house with the birdhouse and the blue brick chimney.
Took me forever to figure out what that middle word was.
Take this pizza down the street to the house with the mailbox out front and the bright blue roof.
Why this person has two mailboxes, I don't know but thankfully it made it easier to find their house.
$20 for all of that work... this is why there's all the warnings about depression and anxiety in this game.
For completing the job, you also get this added on top. You still get paid and the CD even if you mess up, but you only get the achievement if you get the 10/10 rating. The jukebox against the back wall will play any CD we find or buy.
Kel's the kind of guy who could be sent to the store to buy milk and make a new friend.
OLD BEARDY: I've been trying to decide what to eat for a good ten minutes, but I don't know why I'm fussin' so much... Whatever I get is sure to be good!
Speaking of new friends, this guy seems... familiar.
I Think My Dad Shops Here
We're going to skip over the supermarket for now to head to the hardware store.
PIGTAILS LADY: After all this time, we've finally moved in together! This is so exciting, isn't it, Sean?
CHECKERS GUY: Yeah... This is the start of the rest of our lives! Now it's time to make our first important decision... What color should we paint our house's walls?
PIGTAILS LADY: Hmm... I think anything would work! I like all of the colors! What do you think Sean?
CHECKERS GUY: I could go any way too... Don't worry about me! You can choose, Karen! What color would you like?
PIGTAILS LADY: Oh, Sean! You're too selfless! I don't need to pick a wall color! I'll be happy with anything as long as I'm with you!
CHECKERS GUY: ...Karen, if we keep doing this, we're going to be stuck here forever...
Oh thank goodness someone said something before we were stuck here for the rest of our lives. Poor Sunny hasn't eaten in a few days as it is, he likely doesn't have much time left.
PIGTAILS LADY: Hmm... you're right... what if we just close our eyes and pick a color?
CHECKERS GUY: Oh, that works! That way, the result will be completely impartial! Let's do it!
PIGTAILS LADY: Okay, sounds good.
CHECKERS GUY: Close your eyes, Karen.
PIGTAILS LADY: W-Wait! Hold on! It's okay! you should be the one to do it, Sean... I insist!
CHECKERS GUY: No, Karen... It should definitely be you! What if I pick a color you don't like?
PIGTAILS LADY: Oh... We're not getting anything done here, are we? Hehe... I have an idea! Let's get a stranger to help us!
I guess we should help, after all we've just been standing beside them listening to their conversation for like 5 minutes.
CHECKERS GUY: Huh? What's this wallpaper doing here in the paint section? Hmm... It must have gotten misplaced... Well... it's not really what I was expecting, but I'm kind of digging it... What do you think, Karen?
PIGTAILS LADY: A wallpaper seems neat! I think this works just fine! Let's do it!
PIGTAILS LADY: It's the one with the yellow roof on the street near the church! We're thinking of having a housewarming party two days from now. It would be amazing if you could join!
All we had to do was listen to that conversation and pick a wallpaper and we got invited to a party! Damn, maybe Kel is on to something. Let's keep doing it and see what happens!
GRUFF GUY: Wanna know why? Because today is the day that I'm finally going to be fixing the leak in my house! My problems began a couple of weeks ago... I found a really stubborn leak in the corner of my living room... How it got there, I don't know... It wasn't very noticeable at first, but the leak has been slowly getting worse and worse every day. It wasn't very noticeable at first, but the leak has been slowly getting worse and worse every day. To tell you the truth, I've already gotten used to hearing the sound of dripping water and the feeling of a damp carpet!
Now, I'm not the most knowledgable person about home improvement, but uh... I think it's safe to assume that a leak isn't something you should let fester for weeks at a time, to the point that your carpet is damp during that entire time.
GRUFF GUY: But you know what? Today is the day that everything changes... Yes! I'm finally here at Fix-It! My tools are ready... and I'm... I'm going to fix it! Phew... Sorry for ranting to you like that. This leak might have been driving me mad without me knowing... my house is right next to the church, southwest of here. If you want to come by and watch this momentous occasion, please be my guest!
Wow! Another invitation to a stranger's home! This listening to random people thing is really working out for us!
Out back we find some more peo- wait, is that Aubrey and Basil?
...Oh. These old memories are... depressing. There's also a seashell over in the corner that we pick up... why? Beats me, it was shining that means its interactable.
There's only one more thing to do here in the hardware store...
That's right... another job! This one's... well, I'm not a fan!
To quickly sum up, we need to rearrange the shelves with the correct tools on them. The correct item is shown on the sign above the shelf. The only neat thing is this menu that lets you select the tool you want. You can only carry one tool at a time so when you have one in your hand, you have to replace an item on the shelf with it to pick up a new item. Otherwise, this job's a bit of a snooze.
Recording says I took 3 minutes, you probably took 10 seconds to glance over it. This one just feels like a waste of time, the pizza one at least feels unique... even if it takes much longer to do.
And that's why I did the job! I'd be happy to make $10 a minute IRL. I thought that would be an insane amount of money, and I did the math and it's only 1.2 mil a year... God...
Alright, it's time for the supermarket!
Despite the size of this place, there's not much to do. There's a couple of NPCs to talk to, but none show back up or give anything besides a line or two of random dialogue, though one npc does give the most important line of dialogue in the game...
She's right, don't deny it either.
This bakery being closed on Sundays is one of the only things that signify what day of the week this is - Sunday! Which means our move is this wednesday. Kinda weird to move in the middle of a week.
More jobs for us to take care of in the far flung future. Though we have a job we need to take care of right now!
Uh, I'm going to assume that says "Do you want a job".
This job is pretty simple, you just need to find the 4 groups of flies somewhere around the supermarket and smack them until they're gone.
Here's one now! Though, as to be expected from house flies, their attacks are quite annoying. Those attacks are:
These don't really do much damage, you can just drink some juice or eat some candy to get over it. But there may be a wasp hiding in those groups and...
A wasp that takes away 1/6 of your lifeforce sounds like a fucking yellow jacket! Awful things, I got stung by one a few years back and it hurt like hell. I had a knot on my leg for several days afterwards. I was real happy when I found their nest and sprayed poison on it a few days later.
She pays us $20 for the fly killing, which we immediately turn around and use to buy two fish from her for... reasons. All in all, the most brainless of the three plaza jobs.
We also head to the left side of the supermarket to buy some bandages and first aid kits from the Pharmacy to help make sure we stay healed up. What? Using food and drinks to heal? What's wrong with you, that doesn't work in real life!!
Now on the right side of the supermarket, we have the...
High Fructose Headache
There's still two people left in the plaza we haven't talked to.
ORANGE GUY: Have you ever heard the phrase... "Orange is the happiest color"? No? Well, that's fine! Just know that the same concept applies to Orange Juice! It has vitamin C, which is essential for health immune system functions! It's also an antioxidant that may have health benefits by protecting your cells from free radical damage!
Nah, we'll pass.
I didn't realize the fruit market was that competitive. If you do buy an orange/apple juice and talk to the other salesman, they take your juice and throw it on the ground and then offer you their brand. It's an incredibly ballsy sales tactic that... doesn't work for me. I need the money.
This guy asks for a donation to help him get a bus ticket out of here. We give him $10 for now to help him on his way and he offers to play us a song.
Seems like some copywrite infringement there... but don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Now then, let's continue with the jobs...
Sunny, these hallucinations are starting to worry me...
SCHOOL PRINCIPAL: Hmm... There's more than one of you, but you guys look pretty trustworthy. I guess it's possible that two tutors would be better than one... as long as you all split the payment! Haha! Please come in. Brent is waiting for you in his room upstairs.
My grandma was a teacher, but she was retired by the time I started schooling. I can't imagine having a parent as a school principal.
Swanky house. Brent's room is on the far right.
Brent needs help with three questions. Those are listed below as well as the choices listed. You can also choose to randomly choose an option if you really do have no idea. Thankfully, I'll tell you the answers.
4 X 51 =
5 X 3 + 15 - 1 + 6 / 2 =
-3x + 4 = 7x + 24. What does 'x' equal?
Brent's dad then comes in the room and gives us $20 and tells us to come back tomorrow. Getting these questions right is key to getting 100% and getting an achievement. I'm not kidding, this job affects the ending.
On our way to the next job, we run into this lady who's standing in her driveway.
RED-GLASSES LADY: When I look down... and lo and behold... My brand new Garden Shears are missing! Yes, it's true... My new Garden Shears tore a hole open in my plastic bag! Oh how silly I felt just then. Do you think you could help me find them? They should be somewhere around here.
Turns out it's right in front of Brent's home.
RED-GLASSES LADY: Please feel free to come to my house any time! You will always be welcome.
This is more 90s to me than the super nintendo at Hobbeez. The idea of a random woman telling two teen boys to just come over to her house whenever... and that's not weird at all to anyone. Also, of course we are heading straight in there.
Are we in the nice neigborhood that I always passed by on the way to school? These are some nice homes.
RED-GLASSES LADY: Look, here! Caring for these bonsai is a hobby of mine. It helps me... relieve stress. After this, I'm going to start preparing dinner for my children, Kim and Vance, tonight. They better not be late again... or else...
Let's... leave her be.
Kim & Vance's room seems pretty clean. Not what I'd expect from two teens. Especially two teens who think they're in a gang.
One more job left to do...
THICK EYEBROWS: Hmm... An interview is too much trouble! You should know 2nd grade language, right? Hurry and come in! My daughter Joy is waiting for you in her room!
We are the most trusting teen boys the world has ever seen to have parents just let us be alone with their kids after a 10 second interview of "Eh, you're good enough."
These houses are making me intimidated... I have the one bookcase, why do these people need like 5 in each room? Like before, Joy is in the right hand room.
Same as with the math worksheet, the questions, choices, and answers are below.
My pencil is ____ the table.
In the phrase, "silently read your book.", what type of word is "silently"?
Which one of these sentences is written correctly?
- "Eggplants taste better when it is cooked."
- "It is definitely tastiest than tofu."
- "I think eggplant is the better tasting soft vegetable."
Joy's dad comes in and gives us our $20 and also asks us to come back tomorrow. Which we will definitely do! If we talk to Joy again, she talks about her brother Michael... who's a musician playing at the plaza... small world.
Now then, we've finished all the jobs for today!!... There's still so much to do before we can continue the story though. Seriously, there's so much content it's unreal.
On the last house on this block, this old lady is standing on her doorstep. She asks us to head to the pharmacy and get her medicine for her. As the trusting, strapping young lads of Faraway Town (TM), we take her up on this task and get her medicine for her.
No you're not! This is super illegal, but eh it's the 90s! No one cares though, 9/11 hasn't happened yet. The pharmacist offers us bandages or first aid kits... but doesn't offer them for free or at a discount. So he's still just selling them, thanks dude.
She offers us a visit into her house, but we will politely decline for now. That's... for another time. Still so much to do, so much to see...
So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
Now then, what art are we critiquing?
Uh, I can't see it.
ARTIST: Thanks, I thought so too. Yes... It's all coming to me now! INSPIRATION HAS STRIKETH!!
ARTIST: And... VOILA!! Ah that looks so much better.
After this, she asks us if it needs more detail and if needs to be a red color, we need to say yes to both questions.
She adds a bit more detail to the painting but I still can't make it out. We should have left after petting the dog...
Believe it or not, we still haven't even been down the street from Basil's home. There's a whole street we haven't canvassed yet!
Yeesh. Whoever lives here is a pig.
Eh? Who are those people? Where are they headed?
Hey, maybe Sunny's religious! You don't know that! Then again, he hasn't left his home in four years!
Only one house down this way is of any actual interest to us right now.
Remember this guy? I hope you do, we ran into him like 10 minutes ago. Jeez where's your memory going...
GOOD LORD! That's not a leak that's a busted pipe! Call a plumber dude!!
Oh... wow! You did it! You didn't need the plumber after all...!
GRUFF GUY: Grumble Grumble... Tats... I guess I'll try again tomorrow... here's $1.00, kids. Go get yourselves some candy or something.
Shouldn't you do something... right now?? There's multiple puddles in your living room!!!
Exploring his house and we find a room with two beds. Looks like two kids are bunking here, though not for long if that pipe doesn't get fixed and the house gets condemned.
Alright, the last house we're visiting today is on Sunny's street. This is Kel's neighbor on the other side of us.
ALL AMERICAN GUY: There's only one thing that's bothering me right now on this otherwise perfect day... I can't find my TV remote anywhere and I'm way too comfortable to leave this couch! If you see it, could you give it to me? Thanks, kiddos.
I missed it on my first playthrough but uh, take a look under the couch.
ALL AMERICAN GUY: Hey! There's my remote! Thanks, kiddos! Here, take some Orange Joe on me!
Thanks, I guess. Orange Joe heals like 5 HP, in case we plan to get in another fight with some flies.
ALL AMERICAN MOM: My, Kel, you've grown so tall! You're basically a head taller than me! Your mother told me about your growth spurt, but it's another thing seeing in person. I remember when I could still pat you on the head! Ohohoho... You were such a mischievous child.
Bye bye Miss American's pie.
ALL AMERICAN MOM: Phew... That was a close call. Unfortunately, it's a little burnt... At the fair, it would probably rate an 8/10, but I promise it's still quite delicious! Oh, don't just take my word for it. You must try it yourself!
This pie may only be an 8/10 but it heals for 10/10 (HP).
Now then, we're not here to mess with this all-american family. We're here to talk to their daughter.
Hey, neighbor! How's it going?
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Hey, Kel! Oh and who else is with you? Oh, wait! I recognize you! It's Sunny, isn't it? Sorry, it's been a while. I think we only met a few times... My family has always lived here, but I was sent off to boarding school for a few years and just came back about three years ago, I think?
Hey, Sunny! Cris is my next door neighbor and she's really cool! She's the fastest swimmer in school!
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Oh, Kel... You're never short on compliments, haha...
Sounds like somebody's got a ~crush~!
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Aren't you trying out for the junior varsity basketball team this year? I'm sure you'll be a shoe-in... hehe...
Well, I'll try! I've been playing every now and then with strangers at the park! I think I'm getting better, but it's a little hard to tell... Heh...
But if I practiced basketball as much as you practiced swimming, I'd probably have a better chance...
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Oh, I'm not that hard-working... it feels like fun to me, honestly! And besides... even though I love swimming in pools, I love swimming in the ocean even more! I love everything about the ocean... the beach... the sound fo the waves... event the smell of seaweed... Ah... Hehe... Sorry, I must sound a little obsessed.
That's totally fine! It's good to be passionate about something, isn't it?
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Hehe... I guess... Actually, I think this all started because I went to boarding school on an island and really enjoyed my time there! The ocean reminds me of the friends I made there... I hope maybe I can see them again one day. But for the time being, I guess I'll just be collecting seashells and stuff.
You know... that story kind of reminded me of this, but... Sunny is actually moving away from here really soon!
Maybe you can give him some tips on how to handle moving away to a new place!
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Oh, Sunny is moving? Hmmm... Well, being away from my friends was pretty tough at first... but change is just a fact of life! It's the memories we make with them that we should cherish. You know what... I just decided something. If you see any seashells, can you bring them to me? They're kind of hard to find around here, but I'll make sure it's worth it!
Well, we actually already have one!
BLUE-HAIRED GIRL: Wow, it's such a cute one... Hehe... Thank you!
Hmm... Guess we'll need to bring her more to figure out what she's doing with the seashells. We'll have to be on the look out for those.
Two miscellaneous tasks left to us... remember that fish we bought? Well, there's a reason for that...
It's to feed this kitty! In return it gives us... some trash. Awesome! Thanks!
Finally, we have this game in Hobbeez. It is our final, but most important task.
We need to beat this nerd's high score. So what's the game?
It's space invaders. Thankfully, you move super fast and can fire as fast as you can button press. So I just hide between the two blocks and spam attack.
You only need a high score of like 7000 to get the prize, so it's pretty lenient.
They don't do anything, but Sunny feels a little cooler. And in the end, isn't that the most important thing?
Next time... WE CLASH.