The Let's Play Archive


by really queer Christmas

Part 14: The Big Bad Bully

Update 14: The Big Bad Bully

Where We Used to Play

We've finally finished everything there is to do in Faraway Town. All that's left is to head to the park and find out what ended up happening to Basil's photo album.

Hmm, I see two scooters but only one person there. This could be a trap...

You know where she is?


You know, Charlie... I can tell you're not really the mean type of person.

Aubrey took something important from Basil and we need to get it back. Is there any way you can help us?

For the non-mean type, she sure is strong as hell.

???: Ah! If it isn't Kel and that weird knife guy. Worthy adversaries for the great and mighty Angel.

Finally, it is time for you to meet your doom!

Angel, we don't have time for this... We just want to find Aubrey. Do you know where she is?

You seek Aubrey, do you? Interesting! I will tell you what I know... but first, you must best me in battle!

B-Battle!? But... I don't... wanna punch a kid...

You won't be able to lay a finger on me! C'MON!! LET'S SICK 'EM, CHARLIE!!


The real world fights are all pretty funny and cute, but are basically just one of two things: attack or heal. There's no emotion manipulation or skills available to us (it's the real world after all) so they're pretty straight forward. You can lose these by the way, I'll show that off eventually. For this fight though, just target Angel, Charlie mostly stands back and does nothing or like 1 or 2 damage to Kel (it's always Kel that gets attacked). Hurting Angel enough will end the fight.


Owww, my head hurts...

You're the one who started it.

Sigh... Okay, Angel, it's time to be serious now. We beat you and Charlie, so tell us where Aubrey is.

Hmph! A promise is a promise, I suppose. I will honor my word and tell you what I know.

The truth is... Aubrey is... somewhere... in Faraway Town... probably...

Well that clears that up, c'mon Kel, only got the whole freakin town to canvass through.

Dang it, Angel! You better not be messing around or else-

I told you I'd tell you what I know! And the truth is... I don't know anything!

Angel... You better tell us where she is now... or else I'll tell everyone about that time you wet your bed at summer camp.

H-huh!? W-W-W-What!? You can't do that! That's cheating! A-Anyway, I really don't know! Maybe you can ask my master, THE MAVERICK. He's the keeper of all knowledge! He told me that himself!

T-THE MAVERICK? Oh, no... You mean that weird kid, Mikhael?

Don't you dare call him by that name! He would take great offense to that.

I see... so it is him... Where can I find Mikhae-, I mean, uh, THE MAVERICK?

I'll tell you what I know... but... you'll have to fight me first!

Or... I can tell everyone about that time you-

Okay fine, I'll talk. Master went to the fountain at the Faraway Plaza. He said he was going to meet some girls there for... a date or something.

Ugh... disgusting. Come on, Sunny. Let's go to Faraway Plaza... I think we're done here.

I've never been sure what Kel is saying disgusting to there, but I'm going to take it as him being disgusted that a girl is willing to date Mikhae- I MEAN THE MAVERICK.

Because I mean, does that NOT disgust you?

Cram It Wad

GIRL1: Oh, THE MAVERICK, you're so funny!

GIRL2: Ho-ho! Wow, what an amazing story, THE MAVERICK!

Girls, girls... please! There's enough of me to go around...

If it isn't Kel! My... archnemesis! Finally here to admit defeat, are you?

I don't have time for this, Mikhael. We're looking for Aubrey. Have you seen her around?

S-Stop calling me that! I cast away that name a long time ago!

Mikhael, do you know where she is or not?

Again with that godforsaken name! H-How dare you make a fool out of me!! I, THE MAVERICK, will not stand for this! PREPARE TO FACE YOUR DOOM!

Please, Mikhael... Don't do this to yourself. I'm going to ask one more time-

Sigh... Are we really going to do this? Okay, then... C'mon, Sunny... Let's take him down.



I want you to know I'm only putting a video here because of the sparkles around THE MAVERICK when he fights. Half shirt tucked in is also quite classy, really turns the ladies on I hear. As well as the single chest hair, quite sexy.

THE MAVERICK's fight isn't too difficult, but will require healing items. So if you didn't stop in at the pharmacy you could be in for trouble here.

I'm expecting to beat THE MAVERICK and have him teleport behind us and stab us in the back remarking how it was nothing personal.

This kid also LOVES freaking talking. Every 20% or so damage causes him to tell us how inferior we are.

I mean, you can't deny the confidence in calling someone else a loser while wearing that shirt like that.

I actually got kind of lucky on this fight because he just kept making fun of Kel and making him angry instead of doing damage to him, so I didn't have to heal once.

People of Earth...

It's hard to make out, I only noticed while editing, but there is in fact energy rays around him. He's literally Goku.

GIRL1: Ew, what is with this guy? He's so lame.

GIRL2: This isn't worth $10.00. Let's get out of here...

L-Ladies! Please, come back! I have more money!

Literally. Goku.


Please... I'll never ask you for anything again in my life. Just tell us where Aubrey is and we'll go!

... Okay, fine. I do happen to know where she is, and I'll tell you... on one condition...

Cram It Wad


Let's just go find Kim. She probably knows where Aubrey is. Her and Vance are major sugarheads, so... I have a hunch that they're probably somewhere near candy.

He stays in that pose, and every time we talk to him, his theme song comes back and quits as soon as you advance his dialogue. People just don't understand his genius.

Now then, we may know of a candy store... one that we quickly fled as soon as we walked in. Still, this is for Basil, after all!

High Fructose Headache

Hmmm... Knowing Kim and Vance, they're probably somewhere around here.

Oh hey, there she is!

Hurry, Vance... Let's shove it all in our pockets before someone sees us!

Hey, Kim! Have you seen Aubrey anywh-

SHOOT!! IT'S THAT NERD, KEL!! C'mon, Vance! We gotta go!


Hey, hey! Hold on... I'm not here to snitch! We just need to find Aubrey. You know where she is?

H-Huh? Aubrey? I-I don't know anything about that. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you!

She knows, now to get her to tell us.

Sigh... I''ve had enough of this for today. Kim, let's make a deal.

You tell me where Aubrey is, and I won't turn you in for stealing all that candy.

And I don't need to be if you just tell me where Aubrey is!


MISS CANDICE: Hand over the stolen candy! Don't make me call the cops on you kids! Smiley, smiley!

We've been busted...


... Wait for it...


Wait... How will we find out where Aubrey is now?

There we go, Kel caught up! Probably not the wisest move to gloat from a moment of weakness!

Sigh... C'mon, Sunny. Let's follow them...

Hold up one sec, Sunny. I think I have an idea!

Kel having an idea has so far not panned out well for us, as we've been involved in three fights today. Here's hoping this one goes better.

No... Not again... I don't know how much longer I can last. We're going to die.

Sigh... Let's just go home. We're gonna be late for dinner.

You again, Kel? What the heck do you want, you bully?

You smacked Basil like 2 hours ago, lady. For the crime of wanting his own property back. You also called him a creep, you kinda suck Kim.

Tell us where Aubrey is and I will give you this whole big bag of candy!

R-Really, the whole bag? I mean, wait- You can't buy us off with candy! Who do you take us for?

I don't know, Kim. We haven't had candy for an entire week... and there's a whole bag right in front of us. We don't even have to pay for it! Can you at least ask if he has any taffy in there?

Stop it, Vance! We have to stay strong! When we go to Dad's house, we'll be able to have all the candy we want.

Okay... I'll do it for you, sis.

Kim... Vance... I'm waiting...

Heh! Like we'd accept candy from a bunch of nerds!

Aww, man... really? I was sure that would work.

That's okay, Kel. At least we didn't have to get involved in a fourth fight with teenagers.

This is a waste of time... Let's get outta here!

Please take the big bag of candy. We... We even... have taffy in here.

Did someone... say taffy?

I see... .... That changes everything.

Cram It Wad

Sigh, it has now been 0 hours since our last fight with delinquents.

If you win, I'll tell you where Aubrey is... but if we win, you give us that bag of taffy and never talk to us ever again.

Wait a sec, there's no need to fight! If you just tell me where she is, I'll give you this whole bag!

But... I wanna fight... C'mon! Put 'em up, you two! It's time to duke it out!

Sigh... What is with you guys and fighting? Well... I guess we have no choice. Come on, Sunny. You know the drill.


Reminder that today is the first time Sunny has left his house in 4 years, and he's gotten in 4 fights. Maybe he was right to be a shut-in and we should all stop judging him. Hell, I wouldn't leave my house for 4 years if I could right now.

Kim is 100% priority target here. She's a glass cannon - having very little HP but massive attack. Vance, meanwhile, is the opposite having little attack but a large HP pool. It's actually quite easy to lose this fight if you don't have healing, or target Vance first instead of Kim.

I haven't seen it before this run, but here's Kel being sad. They spent almost the entire fight just making Kel sad, which is actually really good to have on him since he has no juice using skills so its basically an armor pool.

Once Kim's down, just lay into Vance until you win. Should be much easier at this point.

Grumble, grumble... Grumble, grumble, grumble... Sigh... I can't believe we lost. We can never let Aubrey know about this.


Come on, Kim... We gotta go home. It's almost time for dinner and Mom's gonna be really mad if we're late.

Shoot... Let's get out of here.

Wait! Where do you think you're going? We won, so you need to tell us where Aubrey is!

Oh... yeah... that's right. Aubrey's at the church. The one near her house.

Huh? Aubrey's at... church?

Hey, don't look at me! You're the one who wanted to know. Also, if she asks who told you, tell her it wasn't me! Say it was Mikhael or something.

Come on, Kim... We gotta scoot... You know how Mom gets when we're late.

Yeah, yeah... I hear ya... Let's go...

Priorities, Kel. We found out where Aubrey is. Let's g-... hey wait a minute... how did you buy that candy anyway?? You said you didn't have your wallet on you!!!! You owe me $20!!

Oh well... At least we know where Aubrey is now! Or at least I think we do.

I can't really imagine Aubrey at church... but I'll believe it when I see it.

Okay, before heading to the church, make sure you've scoured the whole of Faraway Town for everything there is to do. The church is a somewhat point of no return for today. Err, you'll see. Either way, if you haven't done any exploring - do it now. We've done everything we can so we're good to head straight there.

In case you have forgotten, it's right next door to leak man. Not to be confused with leek man - the man who likes leeks.

... I'm kind of skeptical, actually. It might be a trap. I'll open the door a little to take a peek.

Kel... it's a church, do you really think Aubrey has set up an elaborate trap on us in a freakin' church?

Hmmm... Looks normal to me... I think they're in the middle of a sermon. Oh! There she is on the right. Hmmm... She's just... sitting there... all normal... so weird!

Yeah, I'd feel pretty bad about interrupting this. We should probably wait until the sermon is over or something.

Yeah, alright that sounds good. Don't want to make a scene in a church after all. Let's just go back to the park or something and wait a bit.

...Or not. So I actually have waited here for 10 minutes to see if you can just wait for the sermon to end... Maybe the devs did program in a way for you to wait it out and nobody's been patient enough, but I'm also not patient enough... so in we go.


Whoa! I didn't expect you to just walk in like that, Sunny. Well... There's no turning back now... C'mon, we have to be really quiet.

We want you to give back Basil's photo album!

You're still on about that? That's none of your business.

Really? None of my business? We all used to be best friends, but now, this is none of my business?

Yeah, Kel... Exactly. We used to be friends...


You know, Mari would be really sad to hear that.

Heh... Really? You really wanna bring Mari into this?

...Oh... that... explains a lot.

Aubrey, seriously!? What's wrong with you?

I get that you have new friends now, but you can't just forget your old friends like that!

My old friends?

My old friends weren't there for me when I needed them.

So that's what this is all about... When Mari... passed on... we were all dealing with our own stuff. We were kids. It was hard!

You think it's all so simple. You've always been simple, Kel.

So what if I am? I'd rather be simple than be like you! How could you do that to Basil? You know how important his photo album is to him!

It's important to all of us...

That doesn't mean you can just steal it!

Is that what Basil told you!? I'm the one keeping it safe.

What are you talking about? That photo album belongs to Basil and I'm not leaving until you agree to give it back!

Ugh... You're so persistent.

When Mari died, you moved on so fast.

You know why I come here every week? Even after all this time, I'm still trying to find some peace... but it doesn't look like that's happening today.

We haven't talked in four years, Kel. A lot changes in four years.

You might look different and act different, Aubrey... but you're still the same person.

Hmph... The Aubrey you knew is long gone. And the Aubrey that was your friend... She's long gone, too.


Okay, fine. I get that you're angry. Look, if it's an apology you want, here: I'm sorry, okay? I should have been there for you when we lost Mari.


... ... ... ... ...

You think you're the good guy, don't you Kel?

And I'm the big, bad bully... here to terrorize poor, defenseless Basil.

You're the one hanging out with the psychopath who carries around a knife!

Now's not the time to do this, Aubrey...

You don't get to say that! You're the one who barged in here!

I already said I was sorry for everything!


It Means Everything

Our fifth fight of the day being in a church makes a certain kind of sense. This fight with Aubrey has both her and Kel start angry, so low defenses and high attack all around. This benefits Aubrey much more because...

She can still headbutt!! Yikes!! Also, nice!!

If you plan to win this fight, you absolutely need healing items. Sunny's going to spend almost every other turn, and maybe even every turn after the first, applying first aid to Kel.

During the fight, the churchgoers will be commenting on the scrap, most of their barbs are aimed directly at Aubrey - as you'd expect.

Aubrey will, occasionally, be so kind as to not do any kind of attack. That's all up to RNG, sometimes you just get her headbutting over and over again.

Anyway, here's what the churchgoers will say during the fight:

Look at her clothing... it is completely inappropriate for church... I can't believe she would bring a weapon in here... How uncivilized. What do these delinquents think they're doing? This is a place of worship! Someone needs to stop them... Where are their parents? That girl is a threat to this neighborhood, there's no hope for sinners like her! I always thought she'd be trouble... The pastor should have kicker her out a long time ago. Children these days have no respect... I hope my kids don't turn out like her.

Who'd knew a crowd of mostly older churchgoing folks could be so judgmental about a young independent woman? Poor Aubrey.

Shoot... I know she's been kind of messed up lately... but I still feel sorry for her. Maybe this was a bad idea.