Part 10: Crusader Kings: Chapter 10 - Reign of Fools: 1123-1138

1123-1138: Reign of Fools

Emperor Waldemar was dead. Murdered in his own bedroom at the height of his power through a scheme instigated by his bastard brother Adalbert. Within a month of his demise, the Electors convened, choosing Nikolaus of Carinthia as the new King of Germany.

Otto von Hohenzollern, Duke of Swabia-Baden, head of the Hohenzollern dynasty, son of Emperor Waldemar the Great, is a worthy challenger for the title of most incompetent ruler in the history of Germany. A timid wastrel, he spends all his time and money on falcons, wine and horses. Though he has a rudimentary grasp of diplomacy, warfare and intrigue are beyond him, and he is far more interested in spending money than finding ways to acquire it. What's worse, in the short time since his coming to rule he has already managed to demonstrate his weaknesses to his liege and fellow vassals, resulting in the prestige of the Hohenzollerns plummeting to rock-bottom levels. The one and only thing going for Duke Otto is the vast sum of money that was 'donated' to the coffers of Swabia-Baden by Emperor Waldemar in the years before his death.


During its time in the royal demesne under Waldemar, the Hohenzollern lands was the beneficiary of substantial building projects paid for by the crown. Its lands are now ruled from stone keeps, roads connect every village and town, and its forestries and mines yield substantial tax profits each month. Much knowledge of customs, commerce and warfare has spread there from Italy and beyond.



Otto's wife is a daughter of Holland three years his senior. Hostile and skeptical, she shows her contempt for her husband openly, but has managed to bear him two healthy sons, Werner and Heinrich.


Being in service to the laughingstock of Germany rankles, and a steady steam of courtiers, some of which have served Swabia-Baden faithfully for decades, depart the court in search for a more prestigious liege.



As the court and nobles of the land begin losing their grip on the power, it falls into the hands of the bankers and moneylenders who 'administer' Otto's treasury for him and ensure that he is kept happy with endless supplies for his nightly feasts and ever-growing wine cellar.



Some courtiers, too loyal to leave but too embarrassed to stay, sink into depression or madness.


As for his role as a father, Otto treats it with a lack of interest equal to that which he shows for his duties as a ruler.


Still, despite its newfound role as a non-entity in the power struggles in Germany, some news do make their way to the court at Wurttemburg. In 1126, travellers from the British Isles bring word that the Duke of Munster has won his war of unification, and has crowned himself King of Ireland.


Later that year, closer to home and far more alarming is the news that the new German King, the former Duke of Carthinia, has declared war on the King of France. King Nikolaus I sends a demand that Otto raise his troops and join in the war, and Otto meekly acquiesces.


In January of 1127, while leading his troops across the Burgundian border, Otto encounters a large French army. Instead of taking time to pull his tired army together and await reinforcements, Otto orders an immediate charge into the French center. The disorganized charge fails to break the French ranks, and as French cavalry is brought to bear on Otto's flanks, he loses his nerve and orders retreat. The retreat quickly turns into a rout, and over half the Swabian army is cut down by French pursuers. Utterly humiliated, Otto returns to Swabia, his one and only attempt at waging war at an end.


Regardless, despite stiff-necked resistance, the French are simply hopelessly outnumbered against the might of Germany, and one by one the border provinces fall, until German troops arrive at the very gates of Paris in Feburary of 1128.


Chancellor Oda, one of the very few competent courtiers to remain loyal to the Hohenzollerns, passes away, leaving Otto with a skeleton court of ever-more discontent courtiers.


Smelling victory in France, King Nikolaus decides to open a second front by declaring war on Bohemia, which is already suffering from internal strife and uprisings.


As one war begins, another ends. The Kingdom of Sweden has come out victorious in a war against its neighbours Denmark and Norway, capturing not only three of Norway's northern provinces but the very royal crown of Denmark.


Several more years pass as the fighting in France and Bohemia continues, the French proving surprisingly resilient against all odds. Little if note happens in Swabia - Otto's sons continue to grow, ever more money is spent on luxuries and pleasantries, and the merchants of Wurrtemburg grow ever more fat and powerful. Then, in December of 1134, as Otto is stumbling to bed from the most splendid (and costly) Christmas feast ever seen at the castle, someone fires a crossbow bolt at him from the shadows. The bolt, intended for his head, takes Otto in the shoulder, and the assailant flees as the castle guards rush to the scene.


Otto, livid with rage that someone would dare attack his person on the very eve of Christmas, demands that the assailant be found and hanged. When the subsquent investigation leads to nothing, he pins the blame on his Spymaster, accusing her of not protecting his high person adequately. He orders her to be unceremoniously thrown out a tower window as punishment, an act that does not endear him to anyone.


Despite a large number of (well-paid) prayers for his health, Otto's wound becomes infected and for a while he seems close to death. However, to the consternation of many, he manages to shake off the disease.


The war in France finally comes to an end in March of 1135, as France is forced to sign a peace that yields most of its territory to German vassals, and Paris to King Nikolaus himself. Only a handful of vassals still pledge their allegiance to the Crown of France, and its future looks bleak.


Bohemia has acquitted itself better, holding the German armies at bay despite constant attacks over the last six years. A white peace is signed in June of the same year.


In 1137, Otto's eldest son Werner reaches majority. Far from being his father's son, he is a talented young man with a particular genius for deceit and intrigue that should serve him well as ruler.


He marries the daughter of a Baron in the Duchy of Barcelona, a young woman known for her skill at diplomacy, fostering closer ties to the Iberian ruler and gaining some valuable talent for the corrupt and complacent Swabian court at the same time.


Isolated, corpulent and universally loathed, Duke Otto finally manages to drink himself to death in January of 1139.


Not a single ruler from outside Swabia is attendant at the funeral, and Otto's son and successor Werner is heard commenting afterwards that drinking that last goblet of wine was the only wise thing his father ever did.