Part 149: Chronicles of the Bhutanese Empire, Final Chapter

Chronicles of the Bhutanese Empire, Final Chapter: The Discovery of New Bhutan and the Dragon's Ascendance

After his strategic redeployment from Guam, the Dragon traveled east, seeking a shorter sea route to India, when he came upon a previously unknown landmass. He made landfall in a harsh and cold land, inhabated by ugly-looking and primitive tribesmen who seemed never to have encountered such trappings of civilization as yaks and gho coats and who called their land 'Alaska'.


Determined to bring the light of the Dragon to these savages, the Bhutan swiftly set about opening trade connections. The Alaskan Natives were quite willing to trade weapons, which they seemed to have in overabundance, for Bhutanese tea, which according to local custom they place in a small bags and toss in the sea while yelling something about jews and taxes. To further improve relations, the Bhutan even took a new Queen among the ruling family and had soon recruited a new army from these innocent savages. The Alaskan capital of Anchorage is renamed New Bhutan, and in honor of the Alaskan tribal colors the Bhutan also changes the Bhutanese national color from blue to brown.


The Alaskans told the Dragon of how the two largest tribes on the continent, the Americans and the Mazulans, were engaged in a bitter war over hunting lands.


With the natives so divided, the Bhutan saw a chance to seize new land for his people and declared war on the Mazulans, a large but weak tribe spanning most of the western continent.


Indeed, their forces proved little match even for the Alaskan militia, and several moral victories were quickly achieved.


News reached New Bhutan of a development, as another invading force had landed on the shores of Kansas City and were threatening to steal the Bhutan's prize. A stern letter sent by the Dragon himself warning the invaders that all the lands of the Americans and the Mazulans belonged to him by right of exploration, but was ignored.



A strange lot indeed, these new people had a sickly, pale complexion and were almost as ugly in appearance as the Alaskan natives, though they lacked any of the Alaskans' childlike innocence.


Fighting quickly broke out between the invaders and the Americans, the invaders gaining the upper hand through superior weapons - though the Dragon's military advisors are convinced that their technology is nothing next to Bhutanese moral prowess.



An expedition under the leadership of the Queen of Dragons is sent south, and the Bhutan is amazed to receive a report stating that the natives know how to build cities - even in the most wet and unforgiving of climates.


The expedition continues down the coast, tailed by the curious and hostile natives.


Yet another invader - the foul Bretons - tries to intrude on the Bhutan's discoveries, making landfall on the eastern shores of the land belonging to the American tribes.


The pale invaders are making rapid progress, though their conquests can hardly match those done by the Queen of Dragons, who has secured vital territory on the west coast, including vital supplies of liquor and tea.



Contact is made with the American Tribes and war declared. The Americans go to battle mounted on large green beasts like the Dragons that are Wangchuck's forefathers, but even these beasts cannot prevent the inevitable moral victory.



The Dragon is stabbed in the back as the old enemy, the Germans, have followed him across the seas and landed forces in the newly conquered and renamed city of New New Bhutan.


Foolishly so, for the Queen of Dragons pulls off a glorious military success, providing both a moral AND a temporal victory - a feat few can match!


Shortly thereafter her army is surrounded and destroyed, but this is considered acceptable losses, and she is recalled to New Bhutan with full honors.


The American Tribe has fallen and the pale invaders continue their advance towards New Bhutan, where they will find only death!


Fierce battles erupt on the Alaskan border and the invaders are dealt stinging moral defeats.


But despite these setbacks, this new enemy is relentless, advancing on, bleeding from a thousand moral wounds but ignoring these losses with only one goal in mind - the destruction of their most dangerous foe.


The situation is looking bleak, but what they do not know is that the Bhutan has a plan, an infallible plan that will be sure to bring victory when he...

(The next page in the chronicle has been rendered unreadable by tea stains)

... and that is how Bhutan defeated the Pale Invaders, conquered the new world and returned to wreak his vengeance on the Japanese, the Chinese and the Germans and finally reclaimed all land belonging to the Dragon.






All hail the Dragon, ruler of all!

All hail the Dragon... for he is home at last.




Fin


(OK; OK, that was the last Bhutan update, I promise. Real update coming later tonight, I was just having too much fun with this)