Part 11: Episode 11: Face Melting Solo

Episode 11: Face Melting Solo

Last time, we visited the zoo and learned about Australian monkeys. Also, at the risk of this becoming my gimmick, I missed a super-cool secret!


Remember this shitty room? Well, you can actually move that gurney out of the way and find...


A MOTHERFUCKING GRENADE LAUNCHER! No, I don't know why it was stored in an employee lounge in a public zoo. I also don't know why the M16 we got from Torres is stronger than it, or how it uses the same nonspecific ammunition as our rifle and pistol. But I don't give a fuck! It makes shit explode! Hell. Yes.


_{Thanks iastudent. You are a cool dude}



Ahem. Where were we? Oh, yeah, stopping Eve's already canceled concert. Luckily, the auditorium is right up the hill from the Zoo's rear exit! Isn't that convenient?


There's no one at the door, so we'll just let ourselves in.


The seats are packed and Eve is center-stage.




Aww, she just wanted to wish everyone a nice Christmas.

: Special because I will no longer be under the control of a host, as I have since the dawn of time. Humans are weak - mitochondria can self evolve. Mitochondria must now take over the nucleus.

Eve begins to sing her big number.






Everyone seems to be having a nice time.














: C'mon, guys, she's not that bad.



: Rush the stage!



: Woo! Spring Break!



: Somebody has to clean this mess up, and it sure as hell ain't me!




We circle around outside to get backstage and...oh, jeez, this again?


Aya gives chase, but the ghost girl just points us towards the backstage entrance before disappearing.


Eve's just...floating there, I guess. I wonder if she knew the crowd was gonna liquefy or if she's just dumbfounded right now.





: The concession stand closed at six!





: Whoop, whoop, whoop!


Eve sure can move fast for a woman with no legs. We give chase.


The ghost girl appears again to point us in the right direction. Even though the only other direction would just lead us back to the Zoo again.


Whatever, let's just follow her.


Whoa, whoa. Chasing down a dangerous monster lady can wait. Let's check out this swank-ass gazebo.


Not bad. Just to our left, there's a chest hidden by the foreground containing ammo. If we go straight ahead...


We find a little side area containing a phone and not much else.


Oh, and a polar bear.


A LIGHTNING BEAR


Let's, uh...let's go the other way.

Park Tunes


Central Park is kinda neat, but honestly a fairly boring dungeon. It's sort of a maze, but not really. If you follow Ghost Girl (tm), she'll lead you on the shortest path through. But you'll miss goodies like...


A Tool!


More bullets!


A stat booster!


A vest! Okay, this one's actually pretty nice, because we can use a Tool to move that +1 Inventory Slot to a vest with good defense. Yeah, you can use Tools on armor, but you can't make your pants shoot rockets, so no one cares.


That's all the loot to snag out here, so let's follow that ghost kid.


Have I mentioned the prerendered backgrounds yet? Because they're pretty sweet.


They really help nail the creepy atmosphere of running around the woods at night.


Yeah, I've been fighting monsters this whole time. Just the same goobers from the Zoo plus the occasion LIGHTNING BEAR. We learn Barrier, which is one of those spells that's not really that useful.

When you cast it, any damage you take goes to your PE bar instead of your HP. Your PE doesn't regenerate while it's active, and it wears off as soon as your PE runs out. I just don't like having my PE tied up in case I need it for healing or curing status effects. And the game really encourages dodging attacks over just tanking them, anyway.


So, we're out of the woods and this cool-looking bridge thingy. Let's head under first.




Jackpot. The CR Evade+1 was in the left chest, by the way. I just forgot to cap it.


We come out the other side, but let's check out what's topside.


Uh, what?




Oh God, they have vine whips and shoot poison spores! Bulbasaur, what have they done to you!?


This is what Auto-Medicine does, by the way. Your HP gets low enough, and it just pops some pills for you. No need to waste a turn opening your inventory or even wait for your AT bar to fill up. Useful, if you're an idiot like me and get your shit stomped by piles of compost.



: Man, fuck this place. Squirtle's better, anyway.




: Guess who! It's Rattigan Johansen here, tellin' all youse about da new an' improved wildlife of good ol' NYC!

: Anyone got a Coke? I can bearly contain my terror at da sight o' dis guy! If his 'lectric attacks don't make yer hair stand up, 'e can also beatcha ta death wit' his bear hands! Did you know dat in da gay community, a "bear" is a big hairy guy? Well, now ya do.

: Y'know, I've seen some weird stuff. Like every time I look in da mirror! But I dunno how ta explain dis guy. He's...an evil pile o' leaves? I dunno. What? Poke yer what? No, I ain't got no "poker men" jokes. Da hell are you talkin' 'bout?