Part 23: Episode 23: Danger Zone

Hey, thread. Sorry about no updates the past few days. There was a Boss Fight and several cutscenes coming up, and I got lazy about recording. The good news is that today's update features lots of videos!

Episode 23 - Danger Zone

Last time, Aya remembered a thing, and a nice nurse offered to give us a Key Card so we can progress!


This one, in fact!


She then decides to get the fuck out of dodge. Good call, ma'am.


There's also this stashed next to Aya's memory-triggering beds. It's completely inferior to our current armor, but hey! Free Jacket!


By the way, that Trading Card glitch from last time? It only works once. Of course, once is more than enough.


Moving right along...


No, I said we're moving on!


Here we go.


Why is Aya so worried about liquid nitrogen? Is Eve a T-1000?

: Well, for many different things. You can use it to freeze off warts and such, but its main use is for research. It keeps the sperm bank from spoiling...


We're trying to prevent Eve from...impregnating herself and birthing the Ultimate Being remember. Y'know, I think Parasite Eve is the only PS1 game to discuss sperm with such frequency.

: Well, there's a valve that you can turn off in the storage area. Why?

: Sorry, I don't have time to explain. By the way, which floor is the research lab located on?


Gasp


Well, we'll just use that Keycard and go kill the nitro


This is the only door we can go in, back here. That chest in the back has a Range +1 in it, by the way.


Gee, I sure hope there's no monsters in here. Certainly not some sort of miniboss...


Haha, for real? Did you get lost on the way to a Zelda game? All this dude can do is jump at you. You can steal an Offense +1 from him. There is nothing else noteworthy about him.


Aya psychically knows this is the valve to the liquid nitrogen. Or maybe it's labeled, I dunno. There were just bullets in that chest, by the way.


Alright, job done. Let's go shoot Eve in her stupid face!


We need to go back to the elevator to reach the dreaded 13th Floor.


You ready for scares?


...come on! The lights aren't even flickering! This is the crappiest haunted floor ever.


I'm not sure why Eve roasts some people and not others. Best I can figure, it all goes back to her acting roots. Fire is very dramatic, and should be used as such.


Something weird is going down at the Chrysler Building! I wonder if we'll ever find out what is in there. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


Well, Crispin Glover over here is blocking the other door, so we have to take this one.


Big lab-looking room. I don't think I want to see what's in that fridge.


Here, the game subtly hints that you need to move that...box thingy.


Wait, isn't this a hospital? Like, a people hospital? Is it sanitary to have a kennel of any sort in a hospital?


Whatever, let's just do some good ol' Resident Evil style box pushing.


Feels good. Anyway, pushing the big red button opens the door to the next room. But first!






Lootin' time.


Let's check out this kennel.


Yep, this sure is a kennel.


There's this in the chest, but nothing hidden in any of the cages. I know, I was disappointed, too.


More of a glorified hallway, really.


Hey, what's in there?


Besides these assholes, I mean.


I dunno, Aya, I'm starting to think that guy may not be completely trustworthy.



: What is this ? The HLA list. Ben's and Lorraine's name are on here too... It's the same list that was on Klamp's computer. What's he trying to do.











Talk about plot point blue balls


Oh well, this'll do

: December 23, 1977 - emergency hospitalization. Operation successful. After 6 months of hospitalization, released. Needs medication from hospital.


I hope the surgeon wasn't The Todd.


Y'know, given the fact that Aya just put two and two together based on the evidence in front of her without being blatantly told what's going on, I'm going to have to nominate her from the Smartest Survival Horror Protagonist Ever. Put her in the Spencer Mansion for ten minutes and she'd be like "Y'know, I bet Umbrella made these zombies. I don't think I trust that Wesker guy either."

Then she'd run through the halls blasting Hunters with her crazy-ass grenade machine gun. GOTY 1996


Who needs Mixed Herbs when you have fucking magic? Bring on the Tyrant, do you know how many Trading Cards I have, bitch?


How many elevators actually have keys, really?


Honestly, if you switched this elevator to a stairwell with a locked door, it wouldn't change anything.


MEANWHILE


I'm on a boat.


Yeah, so it turns out when Manhattan is quarantined due to an infestation of fireball-throwing monsters, the U.S. Military gets a little concerned.

: Remember, no unnecessary attacks! Target the enemy in the air and be alert!



: No, Lynch. We haven't received orders from the President to attack yet. At this point, we need to look for the missing people from the park and warn the city.

Launch the Jets!


Awwww yeaaaaah






Look at how fuckin' cool these dudes look


Cool as hell


MEANWHILE



: I hope I didn't miss anything cool while standing in the elevator.


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


Anyway, we ride the elevator up to the roof for some reason. I don't know why, we just do.


Suddenly, a Boss Appears!


Being a spider, the SpiderWoman (apparently, yeah, that's her name) can shit out webs. Her webs are stronger than lesser Spider enemies', and they stop you dead in your tracks if you step on them.


Being a Parasite Eve Boss, she can also shoot fire. This can hurt, and she won't miss an opportunity to burn your ass if you get stuck in a web.


I decide to use Energy Shot to inform her of my distaste for her attacks.


Once you knock off over half her HP, SpiderWoman...fucking runs away. Get back here, ya jerk!


Aya's not about to let a Boss run away from its own fight! SpiderWoman gains no new attacks for this stage of the fight. You just get a slightly better view of her horrifying visage.


After you beat her, she...




...falls through the floor! See ya, bitch!


That's a hell of a leap, seeing as Heal 2 only restored 90 HP.


Also, a gun I won't use.


Apparently, Eve was there the whole time.

: Yeah, and I just stomped your spider's shit!

: That wasn't my spider.

: What? But...I thought...

: Yeah, I don't know who that was.


Okay, there is no possible reason to have ellipses there.


See what I mean about Eve and theatrics? We know it was Japan, she knows it was Japan, she knows WE know it was Japan. She's just being dramatic.

: There, my sister committed a fatal error... I'm higher in the evolution chain that my sister. I will never commit the same mistake...

: You're not my...

: Finally caught on, huh...?

:...No...!


Uh oh, I guess she noticed the jets flying over the city.

Eve vs The Jets





: I'm so high right now, you guys.







: Have you ever looked at a fighter pilot.......ON WEEEEEEED?


Welp


I think this is one time I'd rather the guy just burned to death.


Y'know, it seems unsafe to fly with your body goo all over the windscreen.


See?



: They die when you melt them.




That line would've worked better if Aya had said "Stop!" or something like that.




Notice Eve floating off at the top of the screen.


Yeah, so that plane is coming down, and we gots to go!


If you don't reach this window cleaner's rig fast enough, the plane will come down, and it will kill you. Aya's pretty BA, but even she can't take an F16 to the face.


Action Jump!

De Plane! De Plane!


Can fighter jets land on helipads?


Guess not.


Haha, Eve does not give a FUCK


SpiderWoman smashes the window open and tosses one of her babies at you.


Yeah, she also flips the brake switch. SpiderWoman is kind of angry about the whole "shooting her with lasers" thing.


The rig starts dropping, and Aya can't turn the brakes back on until she kills the spider. Of course, it's only a single spider, so it's not really an issue.


You might want to take a moment to rob the little bastard first, though.


One dead spider later, Aya hits the brakes. I don't actually know if this fight has a time limit, as it didn't occur to me to check until just now. Probably does. Either way...


Aya stops the fall just in time.


I like these little animations. Most games would've just had a fade to black, then she's on the ground. Here, Aya actually climbs down the hard way. A nice touch, I think.


Of course, as soon as we touch the ground, Daniel rolls up.


And he brings along this asshole. You have any shitty good luck charms for us? Your bells didn't ward off AIRPLANES!


Back to square one. This all Maeda's fault, I'm telling you.




Bonus

So, what happens if you stick around on the roof, watching a million dollar jet fall on your head?

This does.

That droning noise is the jet slowly getting closer, by the way.





: I gots a more important bonus for youse! Me, Rattigan Johansen!


: Queen o' da Spidas over 'ere is one mean customer! She'll catch ya in her webs an' claw yer face off wit' her razor-sharp legs! Or, she'll jus' blast ya wit' a fire ball! Either way, gettin' caught in her webs equals a bad time fer you, bub! An' even if ya beat her, she'll jus' throw her babies atcha! Wat a loon! Nice rack, though.