Part 24: Episode 24: Crab Battle

Episode 24 - Crab Battle

Last time, we visited St. Francis Hospital, learned a little about Eve's connection to Aya, and learned even more about gravity.


Daniel swung by to pick us up and...wait, what? How were you in danger, Maeda? You were just standing around outside while Aya was fighting spider-monsters and retarded jellyfish!




Haha, Daniel owns




And Aya just completely ignores Maeda. I love this game.

: That's the thing. I found out several things about Klamp, but... In the past, a doctor from that hospital was fired for giving out a patient list.

: A list...? You mean like the one with the HLA listing...?

: These guys have accessed to just about everything. I've got another info too. This is what I heard from Warner, who was onto Melissa. She was seen going into the museum late at night on several occasions!

: Wait, Warner did something? Like, actual police work?

: Surprised the hell outta me. I always thought that guy was the janitor!


I kind of like how Aya always refers to Melissa as Eve. Kind of shows her slight obsession with catching that crazy monster lady.


Jeez, Mr. Pushy. Do YOU wanna drive?


This conversation is kind of weird. You see, we're actually going back to the Police Station right now. And after that, we're not going to the Museum. In fact, we don't actually have to go back to the Museum until Disc 2, so I don't know what's up with all the urgency here.



: ...Maya...


See? We're back at the Station. And it looks like they even fixed it up a bit! Nice job, nameless cop NPCs.


Oh, holy shit, and Cathy's alive! Apparently she recovered faster than either Captain Baker or Nix.


Clearly, this means that Cathy is the toughest of the NYPD B-Team.



: Sweetie, Warner's a lot of things, but calling him a "detective" is a bit generous.



: Sup, bitches.


Okay, two things. One: Daniel just told us that. Two: look at Maeda shuffling in awkwardly.




I don't think Aya's called Melissa by her real name since the Press Conference.


Did you know that? DID YOU?!

: We'll split up here and search the entire city. Eve and Klamp must be meeting soon!

: We must hurry ! It'll be too late once the Ultimate Being is born!




Hey, look at me, rockin' out. I'm on the radio


With Daniel and Maeda~


Daniel actually tosses Maeda his radio, and Maeda fumbles it in a comically endearing fashion. Later, he slips on a banana peel and gets hit in the head by an ironing board.







: Daniel Dollis gonna go punch the fuck outta shit!




Translation: Stay the hell outta my way and never say the words "good luck charm" again.




Day 5 theme song


Okay, so two new locations have opened up on the map.


An entire neighborhood.


And a single building. Eve could be in either place, as far as we know, so I'll leave it up to you guys in the thread to decide where we go first.


























No, fuck that. We're going to the warehouse.


You see, Parasite Eve is a very linear game. The Warehouse is entirely optional, and one of the only side-quests in the game.


Not to mention that most of you have already played the game and know there's sweet loots in there, so the vote would've probably been skewed towards the Warehouse anyway.


Sure, he may seem cowardly, but remember that Aya is the only person on the planet that Eve can't burn to death with her fucking mind. This dude's just using his thinkin' brain.


DOGGY!


Y'know what? It's probably a good idea to keep any and all police dogs as far away from Eve as physically possible. Good call, NPC dude.


Right off the bat, we find a fairly nice pistol. This bodes well for this area.


Let's just head on in!

Gloom and Doom. Yes, again.


Well, what were you expecting? It's an abandoned warehouse. Of course it's gonna look like shit!


Wha...GOOD armor? When was the last time THAT happened?


Here's an interesting scene. A mutant cat chases a mutant rat around the room.


The rat is cornered, and the cat moves in for the kill.


The rat responds by super-sizing himself, and chases the now terrified cat away. Tom never does beat Jerry, y'know.


Of course, Jerry always was a prick, so he turns right around and throws fireball at us. This new palette swap for the rat comes with a HUGE boost in HP and Attack Power. No new abilities, just much hardier than any normal enemy we've faced yet. All the enemies we face here can and will ruin your day if you aren't careful.


After realizing why this area is optional, we spot a shiny in the corner.


At least it's not a fuse, I guess.


Also, we find this.


Nuttin' in dis hallway


Well, nuttin' but GODDAMN SHITFUCKER SPIDERS! The Spiders have gotten the same huge stat boost the Rats have, and all that extra damage flying around means getting slowed by a web is disastrous. Haste can cancel out the slow effect, but you have to wait until your AT meter fills up to cast it, and that is also slowed by the web effects. By the time you do get a turn, you'll probably have been hit and need to spend PE healing anyway.

Basically, just don't get hit by the webs.


Fuck spiders, man. For real.


The Warehouse has a very simple set-up in terms of rooms. You get a room with monsters, followed by a room with goodies, then another room with monsters, and so on.


This armor's not as good as what we found earlier, but it still has its uses. You'll see.


Rockets are a separate ammo type exclusively for Rocket Launchers. Sure, handguns, assault rifles, and grenade launchers all use the same type of bullet, but rocket launchers? C'mon, be realistic. Rockets are also extremely rare, for reasons I really shouldn't have to explain.


Upstairs, we find the door we need the Warehouse Key for. If we loop around on the catwalk, we'll actually find an Offense +2 and a Phone. Saving here is probably a very good idea.


Boy, it sure would suck to have to fight monsters on such a narrow catwalk.


FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF


So, I got a little roughed up by those spiders and ended up using lots of PE to Heal and Haste myself. As I mentioned earlier, the more you use your PE in a battle, the slower it recharges. But, for some reason, swapping out armor in the middle of a fight resets the PE recharge. I think this a bug, but it is handy.


After that ordeal, we find ourselves in another rundown room. This one has an Offense +2, Defense +2, and a Tool in the various corners of the room. Not a bad haul.


Huh, how are we gonna get down this elevator shaft?


We're gonna climb that bitch.


That was fun. What's this room?


Plosive Attack


So, here's this giant enemy crab. This guy is an optional boss with some infamy. You see, he hits like a fucking tank and his attacks are very hard to dodge. Or, at least, they seem hard to dodge.


First of all, his eyes fly out of their sockets and fire laser beams at you. The beams follow you along, but can only hit you at the point where they touch the ground. You can run right under them if you avoid the sparks. They also completely destroy Aya's health if they connect. Aya flinches when she's hit, so if one hits you, the other one will, too, making them twice as deadly.


He can also use Bubble Beam to turn the game into a bullet hell. The bubbles to respectable damage themselves, but the real danger is that they inflict Defense Down, which allows his already damaging hits to hit even harder. You can only dodge this reliably by being directly to his right or left when he fires it.


This is another boss with multiple targets on his body. You can only kill him by killing his central body, but his claws reduce all damage to his midsection just by existing, so take those out first.


Killing his claws also disable his third attack, where he grabs you with one and backhands you with the other. Of course, he almost never uses this attack anyway, so who cares.


Here's how the battle goes: He'll constantly crab-walk in a circle along the edge of the area, moving away from Aya and only stopping to attack. Follow him closely along the edge so that you're always in a safe zone when he vomits bubbles. Take this opportunity to shoot the hell out of the nearest claw.


By chasing him like this, the only attack he can hit you with is his murder lasers. So how do you deal with them?


You simply cast Barrier. You see, there's a bug in this fight. For some reason, when the lasers hit Aya with Barrier status, the Barrier still reduces the damage to zero, but it doesn't drain your PE. At all. Meaning Barrier will last until the battle ends. Meaning Aya is basically invincible.


This only applies to the lasers, however, so Bubble Beam effects Barrier normally. But if you just chase him along the edges of the arena, he can't hit you with that anyway. This turns the fight from a challenging optional boss to a panicking crab desperately trying to escape an indestructible hell-woman.


I thought about recording a video of the boss fight showing you how to waltz through the fight completely untouched, but Mr. Krabs still has a lot of HP, and I didn't think anyone would want to watch me chase a crab in circles for three minutes.

All the same


The dreaded Crab drops this. What's an AT4, you ask?


Oh, you know, just a FUCKING ANTI-TANK RIFLE!


Holy balls, look at those stats! Rocket Launchers do have downsides, however. First off, the ammo for them is extremely rare and in a small supply. They also lack any neat customization options.

The upside is, it SHOOTS FUCKING ROCKETS HELL YES!


There's also a Tool in the corner, here.



: Hey, Spidey, I got something for you and your butt-buddy over there.



: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BURN FUCKERS! BUUUUUUURRRRRRN!!!







: Any of youse kids wanna see a dead body?


: Poor ol' Crabbington J. Pincherton. He was a friend o' mine from back in college. I remembas how 'e used ta wow all da ladies wit' his crazy flyin' eyeballs. Or dat time he drank a whole keg an' spewed beer bubbles all over da Dean's office! Good times, good times.

: What happened to him, Mr. Johansen?

: Dunno. I know dey never caught da guy dat did it. Some folks say it was a cop dat went crazy. Pincherton was a tough mug, though, so I dunno 'bout dat. Others say 'e was jus' mindin' his own business down at da warehouse, when dis demon dressed in black appeared. Dey say she was immortal, firin' explosions from 'er hand, and movin' like lightning. Dey say she chased Pincherton 'til he couldn't run no more, an' beat 'im to death in a puddle o' his own bubbles. Word is, to dis very day, if ya go down to da ol' warehouse, you can still hear 'im there. Screaming an' beggin' fer mercy.

: T-that's not really what happened...Is it, Mr. Johansen?

: I don't rightly know, Timmy. All I knows is, musta taken a hell of a thing ta kill ol' Pinchy. A hell of a thing.