Part 25: Episode 25: The Worst
Episode 25 - The WorstI've been dragging my feet when it comes to this next section. I kept running into my backlog of screen caps largely because I didn't really want to play this up-coming level. But, I'll explain more when we get there.
Today, we visit Chinatown. Eve wasn't at the Warehouse, so she's probably here, right? I mean, it's New York City: how many places could there possibly be to hide in?
Chinatown has some cool tunes
Chinatown is kind of an interesting location, in that it's only a few screen long. It's basically a very elaborate entryway to the real dungeon.
Even though all you do in Chinatown is run in a straight line and occasionally look for chests in nooks and crannies, it's still infinitely more interesting than the real level, which is coming up.
Oh, and also there's monster cats.
Plus, the snakes are back! They got the standard upgrade that comes with a new color scheme. None of the enemies here are quite as strong as those in the Warehouse, so it's not a bad idea to come here first.
If you're a filthy coward.
Murdering kittens get us this: Gene Heal. Ever play a Final Fantasy game? Like, any of them? Well, Gene Heal is just Regen with a different name. Still handy in longer boss fights.
We also find this and...
...a grenade launcher that shoots acid-filled bombs!
: I love this city.
Naturally, I add Acid Grenades to my Frankengun.
And here's the end of the area. Told you it was short as hell. Let's see what Maeda's up to.
that chest back there has bullets in it
Aya actually looks all around here, even up. Who says RPGs can't have physical comedy?
Well, good job finding it, Maeda. Shouldn't you be back at the station right now?
Aya, no. We already had a Sewer Level.
: Maeda, I swear to God, if this isn't some sort of crazy flamethrower, I will shove this rocket launcher so far up your...
: Great, thanks. Terrific. I'll make sure to wave this at monsters to make them go away. Just...please leave.
: Fuck you, Maeda.
So, here we are. The absolute worst level in the game.
You see this room? This intersection? Well, get used to it, because we're in a maze. A maze of copy-pasted rooms a.k.a. that dungeon that pops up in every RPG even though everyone hates it. They try to get you excited by tossing you a chest right at the beginning, but it just has bullets in it.
Also, bats. Bats suck. Let me show you why.
See that sonic bullcrap? That's their only attack, and it inflicts Darkness status. What does Darkness do?
It blinds Aya so she can't effectively target anything that isn't basically touching her. The thing is, the bats do absolutely shit damage, so they can't really take advantage of your weakness. All this really does is make battles drag on and on.
Yeah, and there's a fight in basically every room. Notice this narrow corridor? Are you wondering how you dodge the sonic waves in here? Well, you don't. Just suck it up. At least the bats drop Cure-D which clears up Darkness.
You'll notice this actually a different screenshot than above. Even though it's the same room and the same enemies. Well, that's how the Sewers works. Luckily, if you know the path (basically, go West until you hit a dead end, then go South), you can get through it in only a few minutes.
Unfortunately, the Sewers are also littered with nice items. And nothing worth finding is on the shortest route out.
This Super Tool, by the way, is one of the best items to find down here.
But you know what bugs me the most about the Sewers? The silence. There's no ambient music down here, just the distant dripping of murky water. Now, that would be atmospheric if the Sewers weren't so mind bogglingly tedious.
The Sewers are even worse if you accidentally hit Save State instead of Load State, so you have to do the whole fucking thing again just to get a fucking 30-second FMV clip! I blame Squaresoft for that, too. I just need to think of a reason why...
Along the way, we find...another Acid Grenade Launcher? In case we missed the one upstairs, I guess? Acid does continuous damage to a target, like Poison. And since those goddamned Bats are immune to my sleep 'nades, it's very nice.
We also find our first Shotgun! I love video game shotguns. They're so loud and visceral, it's just more satisfying to blast a zombie into chunks than to just shoot the bastard.
Sadly, PE Shotguns are slow. Slow as balls. There's the delay as Aya shoulders the gun, then the pause to pump it between shots, which is two (or more, depending on how many shots you fire per turn) huge windows for enemies to move out of range, or just plain hit you.
The real advantage of shotguns is that buckshot hits enemies in a large cone of fire. This can let you blow away a whole group of Bats in one shot with some clever positioning.
I'm sitting on a bit of a Tool surplus, so I decide to quietly move that little ability over to my increasingly illegal sidearm.
Ah, the joys of a shotmachinegunnade launcher.
There's also several Medicines, Ammo caches, and other Stat Upgrades hidden in the Goddamn Sewers. Some of them, I intentionally skipped, and others I just didn't bother to screencap. Sure, you might care that Aya found 15 bullets in a pile of human excrement.
But, I'm willing to risk that you don't.
The frogs have started wearing purple. Their tongue attacks inflict Defense Down now, and they have a jumping attack, but are otherwise no big deal.
I just wanted to point out my Bonus Points, here. I figure at least 500-600 of those alone are from taking down the Crab without getting hit. Proskillz
Yup. More of this.
Okay, this is interesting. The stats aren't that impressive, but the Max HP Up ability is very handy. Of course, it also has AP Speed Down, which is a big problem.
Except I have a Tool right here, so I can slap that HP bonus on my good armor! Is there anything wrenches can't fix?
I thought I remembered there being a Something+ here. I was wrong.
Fucking finally!
Somedays you crawl through the raaaaaain~
Somedays you feed ON A TREE FROOOOOG~
Ahem. So, here's the next upgrade to the Club. It has Steal and Act First, which means that if Aya and an enemy attack at the same time, Aya gets priority. I think. I dunno, I keep forgetting to use the damn thing.
Haha, did you think you'd escape without facing off against the deadly...
...lone Bat?! Wait, really?
Moving right along...
: ...the worst smell I have ever encountered.
Oh, hey, remember them?
Sewers Are Gross
Oh, gross, it's moving!
: Okay, that's kinda weird.
: Oh, man. I'm am so hung over. What happened last night at the concert?
: At Central Park? That was like, 3 days ago!
: Haha, for real? That was some good-ass weed, man!
: Whoa, wait...aren't you a cop? Shit, I'm outta here. Peace, bitch!
: Welp, I'm never eating jell-o again. Thanks for that, Eve.
: Forget it, kids, it's Chinatown.
: Y'know, I always felt a certain kinship wit' dese guys. People calls 'em "Rats with wings", but I don't think dey mean it in da nice way. My buddy Brucie is a Bat, an' last I heard he got a sweet gig in some Capcom prequel. Haven't 'eard from him since, though.
: Right, so whadda we got next? Here's this....aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET DAT OUTTA 'ERE! YOU CRAZY?! KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT'S WRONG WITCHU?! YA TRYIN' TA GIMME A HEART ATTACK?!