Part 31: Episode 31: Not Safe For Work

Episode 31: Not Safe For Work


Time to confront Eve and end this nightmare once and for all!

Eve's Lair



: I'm gonna shoot you right in the...er...





: Why are you naked?



: No, for realsies. What happened to that dress you were wearing? This is really awkward.





: What's the matter darling?



: Jealous?


Welp, that's the creepiest thing I've seen in a Squaresoft game. I hope I didn't just get anyone fired from the Monster Bosoms Factory.


This is kinda like that awkward moment where a woman starts breast feeding in public. Except the woman is a giant four-armed abomination chillin' out in a web of fleshy vines.


Congratulations! It's an unspeakable horror!



: I mean, Klamp has already told us your plan, but I just wanna make sure we have all our facts straight before I shoot a pregnant woman.




Lines like this are why I love Eve as a villain. She's such a bitch!


Aya's still struggling with Eve's true identity, and I'm still struggling with the idea of naming twins "Aya & Maya".

I told you guys there were a lot of FMVs coming up.


The vein-vines move, by the way. Just thought I'd mention that.



: So...much...motion blur...



: No! I will defeat you no matter how many filters you use!



: Is that so?



: Well, let's see how you handle...



: ...dramatic posing!


Meanwhile, outside...


This manhole lid is rattling around suspiciously. Eh, probably nothi


HOLY BEJEESUS


The whole city is hemorrhaging people juice!




I don't like the looks of that at all.









The dreaded Meatman of Manhattan lumbers off.


This motion blur is killing me, you guys.


KABLAM


The Kool-aid Man from hell offers Eve a lift.



: Jesus, I called you an hour ago. 'Bout fucking time. And where are those nachos I asked for?



: Hey, wait! I fought a fucking zombie T-Rex to get up here! Aren't we even gonna fight?



: See ya later, shitlords!



: Holy hell, did you just see that, Short-round?

: Yes, it seems to be a construct made from an amalgamation of deconstructed human cells!

: It was some crazy-ass shit, is what it was!


I imagine Aya's gonna need a stiff drink after all this.



: I'm impressed you guys survived jumping out of a second story window without so much as a limp!

: C'mon, girl, who do you think you're talkin' to?



: That... That was everyone from Central Park...

: WHAT?! Then you're saying that Lorraine's a part of that thing TOO?!

:...I'm sorry, Daniel...


Yeah, I've made it a point to post every shot where someone only says "..." because fart jokes are funny to me.


Sorry about your dead wife, Dan, but let's talk about some shit we forgot to wrap up last disc.


This whole game was just a warning against overindulging in C Vitamins.

: She was being administered...immunosuppressants.

: Immunosuppressants...? For what? Why?


Smashcut over to Daniel's car, where Maeda is IN THE SHOT! AGAIN! Fucking jackass.

: Transplant ? What kind of transplant ?

: Yes, It seems that she got one of your sister's kidneys... after Maya died in an accident.


I can't help but wonder if moving this revelation up a bit wouldn't help the pacing here. I mean, we're presumably chasing Eve as her giant flesh monster carts her off. Is this the best time for exposition?


Well, I guess they needed an excuse to revisit this flashback for one last time.




Ah, Klamp. I miss ya already, you big ol' bag of crazy.

: The doctors that were present during the operation were all surprised and... they all screamed that the kidney was hot...!





: Eve killed the host brain, cultured the kidney and obtained her own physical body.


To sum up, the magic mitochondria that became Eve was originally present in Maya. Since she and Aya were twins, they shared the same genes and, more importantly, cells. So, while Maya's mitochondria turned evil and took over, Aya's remained passive, only using their power when Aya tapped into it. That's why Aya can't be combusted, and can use magic and turn into a green angel of death.



: In Japan, Eve targeted a girl who had undergone a transplant... A kidney transplant, to be exact, and she was talking the same immunosuppressant drugs. This was all so that Eve would have a "uterus" to plant the fertilized egg... In order to transplant organs, it is necessary for the HLA Type to match. It lives symbiotically with other cells. So it's necessary to take immonusuppressants... to control the immunity and avoid rejection.

I'm not entirely sure why Maeda is talking about Eve like she's an otherworldly being that jumped from the original host into Maya, since Eve herself referred to the original as her "sister", implying there's more than one Mitochondrial Eve. Then again, Aya's mother was Japanese, so maybe it is the same Eve and she somehow moved from body to body via infection then jumped into the twins from the womb? Whatever, it's a moot point since this Eve is basically THE Eve, and another won't just pop up in some other unlucky girl down the line.


We already knew that from when we found her diary waaaaay back at the start of the game, but go on.

: But she finally got the lead part in the opera. If she had gone to a doctor, she would've been told to give up the part. So in order to avoid rejection, she kept taking the drugs... and after taking so much...




Drugs are bad. Apparently, so are vital portions of your very cells, but mostly avoid the drugs.


I wonder if Aya is repeating this for the sake of the player, or if she's saying it to confront the facts. Probably both.


Thanks, I think she gets it Maeda.
















Pregnant Eve is quite the sight. They say the key to horror is taking something beautiful and twisting it into something terrible. Here, they've taken the joy and beauty of pregnancy, and turned it into a horrible multi-limbed monster with a dozen boobs and a belly swollen into a veiny egg sac. I don't even want to think about those weird dangly bits.

Almost makes me wish Nomura worked on more horror games. Until I remember his recent stuff.