Part 38: 5/24-5/26: Coen-Level Criminal Idiocy

Part 37: 5/24-5/26: Coen-Level Criminal Idiocy



Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)





Ishikawa Goemon was a thief without peer. So he was a hero of the common people, huh?

Halfway through that book for now.

Music: Tokyo Daylight




I guess I’ll come back later. It’d be a problem if they called the police on me or something.

Looks like this lady’s still trying to check up on the Phantom Thieves rumors.

Music: Aria of the Soul



Over in the Velvet Room, we can fuse a Shiisaa using Makami and Jack Frost.



You have mask… You and me… Don’t worry, be happy!

Somebody cut Meher Baba a check.

Anyway, Shiisaa is an Okinawan protective spirit.



Not only does it get Mabufu from Jack Frost and the Frei we needed from Makami, we also learn Rampage, which is Light Physical that hits 1-3 times. It’s very useful.



Ooh, that’s…!
I see you have brought us a Shiisaa with Frei.
*chuckle* Very well… Your assignment’s done.



Hmph. I guess at least you’ve got the will to work.



Don’t gimme that smug attitude! This is your duty, Inmate!
That said, you have completed the task surprisingly easily.
You might actually be worth our time after all. Justine, tell him his next task. It’s on that list, right?
Indeed… Now then, I will assign your next task. Be aware that the tasks on this list will increase in difficulty as we go. Are you prepared?



How admirable.
I feel like my bond with Caroline and Justine is growing deeper...



Once again, we would like to bestow a new privilege upon you… However, it is exceedingly powerful. We ask that you fulfill another task before receiving it.
*snicker* Life isn’t gonna just hand you success!
Now, I will assign you your next task...



Let’s back out and check on the new goodies Takemi has.

Music: Butterfly Kiss



Takemi’s got a new section open for accessories now.



The Regen Patches give Regenerate 1, 2, and 3, which restore 2, 4, and 6 percent of HP each turn, respectively. But those are terrible and unimportant compared to the SP Adhesives, the third one in particular. The SP Adhesives give Invigorate 1, 2, and 3, which restore 3, 5, and 7 SP each turn, respectively. Not “percent.” 3, 5, and 7. While that may seem like a bummer, it’s really not. 7 SP a turn is massive for most of the game and having four of them on your party members can carry you through even the longest Palaces. Remember how I said Takemi’s accessories were “mandatory”? I meant it. This is the way you manage to clear the later Palaces in a day. There’s really no point in even bothering with 1 or 2, as that’s wasted money better spent elsewhere. Unfortunately, we can’t afford to buy an SP Adhesive 3 yet as it’s one of the most expensive items in the game, so we’re forced to wait.

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)



Over at the diner, we order a Nostalgic Steak. Maaku gains Kindness +1 and Knowledge +2.




We finally get Rank 2 Knowledge, holy shit.

Music: Beneath the Mask



Oh no, not a nifu!

That must be such a difficult loss to accept. I wish we could let him have some time to himself…
Well then… Let’s move on to the postmortem, where we analyze what happened in the game.

Let’s make some coffee.

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)




There is no mistaking it… This is Hawaiian Kona...




...The flavor profile is bland. You should practice more to bring out the roast’s full potential.

Those words are going on my suicide note.




Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



It appears you’re lying low lately. What’s with the change?



Really… Is it just my imagination then?

Girl, you suck at this.

Anyhow… I wish the culprit would come forward soon… It’s absurd to pretend I can do the police’s job… I wish he considered my feelings before asking me this.

Maaku’s just standing there awkwardly listening to her complain to herself.



Get off my case.

Music: Butterfly Kiss



>I want to do a clinical trial.
I’ve been really busy lately with all my new patients buuut… What the heck? Oh, everything’s set up already. Oh, that old lady from earlier forgot something… I wonder if she’s still outside…

Music: Alright (Elp Version)



...It was right in front of me, so...
Oh my! You’re a shy one, aren’t you?
(blushing) I-I’m not shy.
My neighbor speaks highly of you. She says your medicines are better than those at the big hospitals. It’s very reassuring to have such a distinguished doctor right here in town. I’ll see you again soon.




...Thanks to you.



There’s a lot of talk going around town about me, started by that girl and her dad… Apparently, they’ve been telling everyone that I can make all these amazing medicines and remedies. So now the number of patients I’m seeing has increased dramatically. I don’t know what some of these people are thinking though. I’ve had a lot of crazy requests. Like, yesterday a patient requested a “sweet-smelling” compress. And the other day, I had a request for a “cold-buster.” Ha! A drug like that deserves a Nobel Prize. Other requests have included hair and skin tonics… I even had to do a consultation about a cat… Sheesh. It’s not like I’m some kind of genius doctor.





This is all interfering with my development. I’m only interested in completing my new drug. That’s my role as the Plague. I’m not suited for all this other stuff.



What…? Really…?



But a “town doctor,” huh…? That sort of lifestyle profession might’ve been possible for me at one time, but now… …… Oh yeah, about those clinical trials… With so many new patients, it’s taking longer to analyze the data, so I’ll need to catch up. This is a bit on the stronger side, but I’m sure you’ll be OK.
It feels like my bond with Takemi is growing even deeper...



It looks like that girl is going to make a full recovery. The treatment seems to be a good match for her. So at least I can breathe a little easier, for now. ...Hopefully she’ll be able to attend school soon.



Well then, let’s have some fun.



I feel like cooperating in that shady clinical trial has increased my Guts...

Maaku gains Guts +1.

OK, thanks for your hard work.

Music: Beneath the Mask



Ryuji finally contacted us on the Yamauchi situation.

You’ll go with me to help investigate undercover, right!?
So, what’s it going to be? Will you listen to Ryuji’s request?



For this rank of Ryuji’s Confidant, we have to participate in a special night event. These aren’t terribly frequent (by which I mean this may very well be the only one) and can only be done on specific dates. First things first though, our daily ritual must be upheld.



Scams are much more intricate now, and many young people have fallen victim to them. Police are working to protect people from scams, but struggle to come up with countermeasures.
It sounds like more people have been getting scammed. I feel bad for people who fall for those.

All right, now we can go.





And we got a new spot, where we can take people who enjoy… monjayaki. Sure, I know what that is.


Oh, okay.




Monjayaki vs Okonomiyaki.



Sorry, but I’m gonna be hiding in the bathroom.

Ryuji is nothing if not dignified.

Please, Maaku! Just leave your phone on so I can hear what they’re saying.

Music: Suspicion



Mmm, I’ve had some experience. Back in my college days, we’d rent a yacht for the weekend and have massive parties. I must say though… the sake’s been tasting particularly sweet today.
No surprise there. Things have been much calmer without Kamoshida. Those were some real dark times for Shujin though, huh? But now that he’s gone, you finally get the chance you deserve, Yamauchi!
Don’t flatter me, haha. He had his strengths, sure… but because of him, our volleyball team will be forever scarred. The only real option now is to abandon it completely. There has to be a way to bring Shujin back into the limelight though. That’s where I come in...
You mean with the track team, right?



The students who went through so much hardship under Kamoshida rise again with a caring new advisor… It’ll be the rebirth of a team that found themselves in the depths of despair… The public will love it. Despite my lack of track and field knowledge, I’ll form a tight bond with the students… I’ll be the protagonist of my very own tear-jerker… And of course all the praise for reviving them will go to me, their incredible, loving advisor. I’ll have to hire a great coach if I want to pull this off though.
So you’re gonna pretend to coach them while someone else does all the legwork? Amazing, Yamauchi!
Such stunning achievements will look great when it’s time to hand out bonuses… But I’m not gonna stop there either… I’ll publish books, give motivational speeches...

I’m noticing quite a few holes in this plan, such as “what if literally anyone catches on to the fact that you’re not actually coaching them.”

What about all the troublemakers on the team? I’ve heard that Nakaoka kid is especially bad.
Nakaoka…? Oh, you mean the one who asked them to bring the pre-Kamoshida coach back? Don’t worry, I’ve already taken care of him…



There’s this other boy on the team… Takeishi. Doesn’t really excel in much of anything. Well, I said I would make him the new captain if he could get rid of that troublemaker Nakaoka. I might’ve mentioned something about how Nakaoka was working with Kamoshida too… ...Subtly, of course.
And? What ended up happening?
Apparently, Takeishi chased him away… The plan worked perfectly! And the best part is, not only are Takeishi’s parents loaded, but his mother’s the president of the PTA.
I see… He’d make a great pawn!
Perhaps, but a nothing like him could never captain a successful championship-winning team. He may have to have an unfortunate “accident” at practice one day.

Look at this criminal fucking mastermind here, blabbing off about his plan to injure a minor in front of a random teenager.

But until then, he can show the others the value of obedience.
Hehehe… You’re incredible!






So… they’re just gonna have to decide on their own. Y’know, track ain’t a team sport. At least, sprintin’ wasn’t.



You’ve got teammates, sure… but you’re really just lookin’ out for your own time. That’s why I never thought about askin’ people for help or tryin’ to solve our problems together. But… I can’t ignore the stuff they’re goin’ through now. I mean, even though we had our own goals n’ shit… We were still runnin’ together. They suffered with me, gritted their teeth with me… Honestly, I think it was only ‘cause of them I was able to run at all.



I know that ain’t the coolest thing to say, but it’s how I feel.




...For real? Thanks, man!
I feel like my bond with Ryuji is growing deeper...



Insta-kill is an odd ability. For starters, it only works on enemies substantially weaker than you, to the point where I’ve only very rarely seen it outside of Mementos floors I was way overpowered for. You don’t get experience or money from these skipped encounters, but if you have room in your Persona deck it’ll automatically give you a mask of one of the Shadows you would have encountered. If you don’t have room, you can’t even choose to throw an old mask away, you just get nothing. This means that if you’re fishing for a specific Persona, you have to keep throwing old ones away from the menu. All in all, it’s honestly kind of pointless beyond speeding up travel through old Mementos floors and trying to get Personas you’re so overpowered you’ll kill in one hit.

Anyways, I’m starvin’! Let’s eat some monja while we’re here. Right now all I’ve seen of this place is the goddamn toilet! Thanks for hangin’ with me, man.



I spent an awful amount of time trying to spin a Rick and Morty reference out of this before I gave up. This space is instead dedicated to how much I suck for attempting to make such a boring, tired joke in the first place.

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



That parliamentarian from when I was a kid… Toranosuke something.



He hangs out at train stations giving speeches these days, but no one pays him any mind. He used to be a rising star in politics, but wound up involved in scandal after scandal.
Huh… Yeah, I saw him in line for food. It was weird seeing a politician eating at the same place as we do.
Well, that’s probably his new gimmick, right? Pandering to middle-class people.

Man, poor Tora. People are even doubting his motives.

Music: So Boring



Don’t think you can get away with copying stuff from some website. I’ll know. Got it? Stealing someone’s ideas is plagiarism. It’s as much of a crime as stealing anything else. It’s so annoying dealing with copyright crap these days… Oh yeah, did you know this? So, you know how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has the famous character Sherlock Holmes? One time, another author used Holmes in his own story without permission, and Doyle protested. Now then… Hamiru-kun. What was the name of the other famous novel that Sherlock Holmes appeared in?



Oh, do you like mystery novels? You’re right. It’s the ultimate showdown between the gentleman thief and the famous detective. But afterward, Maurice Leblanc—the author of the Lupin series—changed Sherlock’s name in his books. He changed it to “Herlock Sholmes.” He just moved the S to the start of his last name.

That’s the kind of hilarious dick move that I can totally get behind.

Maaku gains Knowledge +1.

Both Lupin and Holmes would go on to appear in a number of other works… But those were homages, not plagiarism. Now, Arsene Lupin is synonymous with the idea of a “phantom thief.” He’s recognized all over the world.
Wow, it looks like some phantom thieves never go out of style!

Music: Tokyo Emergency



We don’t have many options today, as being on the calling card step means we can’t hang out with Ann or Ryuji. Also, we just hung out with Takemi, so she’s not free. Since we have no available Confidants, we might as well just send the calling card today. Next time, we’ll do just that.