The Let's Play Archive

Persona 5

by Arist

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Original Thread: The Cool Crime of Robbery: Let's Play Persona 5 [SSLP]



Welcome to the nightmare that will haunt me to the end of my days, also known as this Let’s Play of Persona 5! The ultimate in bad ideas begins now. For real, though, this is a fantastic game that takes what I loved about both previous games in the series (particularly Persona 4) and even Catherine and expands on them in great new ways. This is going to be an SSLP with a few video links for certain cutscenes and the like. I’ll probably also put up boss fights just to give a feel for progression through the game. Hopefully I don’t get nabbed by Atlus’ streaming restrictions (if they’re actually being enforced in any capacity).

Yeah, all that shit? Ignore it. When I wrote it, I was a younger, more innocent man. This is actually a tale of endurance, and a parable about the hubris of man. This is a story about someone who’s never actually completed an LP going, “Wouldn’t it be fun if I did the hundred hour JRPG with more text than Infinite Jest?” This is not a story about the triumph of the human spirit. It is a ballad of woe and strife. This is the story of a game that simply refuses to end.

Witness me slowly becoming disillusioned with this game in real-time over the course of almost two years. Witness a weird, rushed translation with awkward phrasing galore. Witness a strange, overwritten and underdeveloped plot and characters. Witness me losing my mind and resorting to cheap gimmicks to keep myself entertained. Witness whatever the fuck this LP has become.

I like this game. I honestly still like it a lot. At times, that’s despite itself.

What is this game?

Persona 5 is an extremely proficient simulator of being a teenager, with all that entails: wasting time, confused rebelliousness, getting annoyed at your friends who can't keep it in their pants, and casual homophobia! Actually, that's unfair: the homophobia in this game is expert and accomplished. It's a JRPG paced like a game of Red Light, Green Light being run by an asshole who thinks it's funny to make it last like twenty minutes. Except in this case it takes 120 hours. It's a game with the subtlety of a brick and the narrative cohesion of that same brick being thrown through a window. It's a good game, is what I'm saying.

What are you going for?

To see as much as possible. That means all or most Confidants. If we can’t fit all of them in I’ll find another way to show them off, whatever, but I’ll also be loosely following a guide to help out with it. I say “loosely” because the only one right now advocates maxing some of the party members before dungeon 3 and screw that. If we have to get them to Rank 9 and back off for a bit, that’s fine. The real issue is just stats and when to boost what, which hopefully will become a non-issue with help from this. edit: lol we ditch that guide shit like a month in, buckle up kids

I tuned into this LP and it was fucking bugnuts, what the hell are you trying to pull here?

Persona 5 is a very long, and in parts very repetitive game. To break up the monotony and make things a bit more entertaining for your sake (but primarily my own), over the course of this LP I indulge in bad Photoshops, worse jokes, and the occasional inexplicable narrative experiment “guest update.” If that’s not enough to scare you off, go right ahead and… enjoy?????

This is a game with a lot of flashbacks and reflections from the main character, which have been denoted through italics. In the extremely rare instance that I have added a line (you know, as a joke) and it isn't immediately obvious that I have done so, I have underlined the relevant text.


That said, I'm probably going to end up spoiling Persona 3 and 4 in this, so be warned if you haven't played those.

At some point I actually decided to go back and add section dividers to this LP, but I didn't plan ahead so a lot of them are in the middle of updates. Whoops. I dealt with those by just fudging it and moving the relevant header forward or backward an update.

Chapter 1: ???: In Medias Res
Chapter 2: ???-4/9: Lap Of Luxury
Chapter 3: 4/10-4/11: Everybody Hates Maaku
Chapter 4: 4/11: That's Gonna Scab
Chapter 5: 4/11: What Is It With This Series And Talking Animals?

Chapter 6: 4/12: Wilson Would Be Ashamed
Chapter 7: 4/12-4/13: Pirates Are In This Year
Chapter 8: 4/14-4/15: Things Escalate
Chapter 9: 4/15: Wild Card, Bitches
Chapter 10: 4/15-4/17: A Serious Health Code Violation
Chapter 11: 4/18: Thief And The Big City
Chapter 12: 4/18-4/20: Gimme The Good Drugs, Doc
Chapter 13: 4/20: Castle Crashers
Chapter 14: 4/20: Heh, Just Noticed What Day It Is
Chapter 14.5: Side Note: Some Useful Information
Chapter 15: 4/20-4/21: Not Safe For Work
Chapter 16: 4/22: Forked Tongue
Chapter 17: 4/22-4/23: Blacker Than A Moonless Night
Chapter 18: 4/24-4/28: Hotter And More Bitter Than Hell Itself
Chapter 19: 4/29-5/2: That Is Coffee
Chapter 20: 5/2-5/4: Guess What You're An Accessory To?
Chapter 21: 5/5: We're Gonna Get Kicked Out Of This Buffet

Chapter 22: 5/5-5/6: Hashtag Millennials
Chapter 23: 5/6-5/7: Night Moves
Chapter 24: 5/7-5/8: All Aboard The Cat Bus
Chapter 25: 5/9-5/10: Track Team Is Serious Business
Chapter 26: 5/10-5/14: I Have To Take A Test In My Video Game?
Chapter 27: 5/14-5/15: I'm Stoopid
Chapter 28: 5/16: It Belongs In A Museum
Chapter 29: 5/16-5/18: Blackmail!
Chapter 30: 5/18-5/19: The Most Adorable Stalker
Chapter 31: 5/19: Artsy Fartsy
Chapter 32: 5/20: Mission: Imbeciles
Chapter 33: 5/20-5/21: We're Gonna Need More Space In The Cat
Chapter 34: 5/22-5/23: Hurt Me Plenty
Chapter 35: 5/23: Paint Me Like One Of Your Ukiyo-e Girls
Chapter 36: 5/23: Goddammit Game, You Made Euclid Cry
Chapter 37: 5/24-5/26: Coen-Level Criminal Idiocy
Chapter 38: 5/26-5/27: Comical New Heights Of Villainy
Chapter 39: 5/27: War Paint
Chapter 40: 5/27-5/29: I Made A Sensible Career Change, Oh Yeah
Chapter 41: 5/30-5/31: Everybody's Horny And Life Is Terrible
Chapter 42: 6/1-6/3: An Inappropriate Student-Teacher Relationship
Chapter 43: 6/4-6/5: Blazer It

Chapter 44: 6/5-6/7: Eavesdrop City
Chapter 45: 6/7: Regrettably, A Mementos Update
Chapter 46: 6/8-6/10: Meddling Kid
Chapter 47: 6/11: Sojiro's Attic Full Of Teenagers
Chapter 48: 6/12-6/13: Blackmail The Second
Chapter 49: 6/14-6/15: (Vaguely Witty Title)
Chapter 50: 6/16: Hello Good Sir, Are You In The Mafia?
Chapter 51: 6/17-6/18: A Hate Crime
Chapter 52: 6/19-6/20: Makoto, Makoto, Makoto
Chapter 53: 6/20: Blackmail, Part Tres
Chapter 54: 6/20-6/21: Mad Makoto
Chapter 55: 6/21-6/25: The Face Of The Devil
Chapter 56: 6/25: The Nice Meltdown
Chapter 57: 6/25: I Have No Idea What The Fuck Either
Chapter 58: 6/25: I Wish I Was An Only Child
Chapter 59: 6/25: Math Is Power
Chapter 60: 6/26-6/27: When A Fly Pigs
Chapter 61: 6/27-6/28: Makoto's Crippling Time Crisis Addiction
Chapter 62: 6/28-6/30: A Ton Of Salt
Chapter 63: 7/1-7/3: Mishima's Getting Arrested For Fraud
Chapter 64: 7/4-7/6: Hifu-Mi-Oh!
Chapter 65: 7/7-7/8: Flower Power
Chapter 66: 7/9-7/10: Maaku Hamiru's Time-Traveling Burglary Club
Chapter 66.5: 7/11: Thanks Radium

Chapter 67: 7/11: Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K
Chapter 68: 7/12-7/16: It's A Lockdown, Baby
Chapter 69: 7/17-7/18: Yusuke's A Nice Boy
Chapter 70: 7/19-7/20: Alibaba And The Phantom Thieves
Chapter 71: 7/21-7/23: The Fourth Chapter Of The Blackmail Saga
Chapter 72: 7/24: The Ridiculously Depressing One
Chapter 73: 7/25: Perverts In The Desert
Chapter 74: 7/25-7/26: No, You Look Like Shit Makoto
Chapter 75: 7/26: Double Event
Chapter 76: 7/26: I Hate Sand
Chapter 77: 7/26: Technicolor Dream Pyramid
Chapter 78: 7/27: Psience Is A Dumb Word
Chapter 79: 7/27: What's Better Than A Motorcycle?
Chapter 80: 7/27: Morgana The Gross Car
Chapter 81: 7/28-7/29: And Then She Slept For Three Weeks
Chapter 82: 7/30-8/1: I’m Not One Of Those Devilishly Charming Phantom Thieves, No Sir
Chapter 83: 8/2-8/4: Ryuji Has Bad Taste In Porn
Chapter 84: 8/5-8/7: Nerd’s Got A Gun
Chapter 85: 8/8-8/10: Sketchy Personified
Chapter 86: 8/11-8/13: Three Days Of The Kuramoto
Chapter 87: 8/14-8/16: I Already Used That Bill & Ted Reference
Chapter 88: 8/17-8/19: I Swear We’re Almost Done With Summer
Chapter 89: 8/20-8/22: Welp, We Tried

Chapter 90: 8/22: This Update Has Been Hacked
Chapter 91: 8/23-8/24: Yakuza Seven
Chapter 92: 8/25-8/27: Nice Job On The Pedophilia, Bro
Chapter 93: 8/28-8/29: Please Skip This One
Chapter 94: 8/29: And While You’re At It, This One Too
Chapter 95: 8/30-8/31: Gone Fishing
Chapter 96: 9/1-9/2: Wherein I Waste Everyone’s Time By Fucking Around For Half The Update
Chapter 96.5: 9/2: I Really Gotta Watch These Update Sizes
Chapter 97: 9/2-9/3: The Worst People In The Game
Chapter 98: 9/4-9/6: I’m A Baller (Because I Think The Earth Is Round)
Chapter 99: 9/6: Mementos Sucks
Chapter 100: 9/7-9/9: Aloha, Phantom Thieves
Chapter 101: 9/10-9/11: Exploiting The Morphogenetic Field To Pick Up Chicks
Chapter 102: 9/12-9/14: Cat Fight
Chapter 103: 9/15-9/16: When The Cat’s Away
Chapter 104: 9/17-9/18: Animal Cruelty
Chapter 105: 9/19: Get Smoked
Chapter 106: 9/20-9/21: Fucking Mishima
Chapter 107: 9/22-9/23: Avoiding Awkward Conversations
Chapter 108: 9/23: Frank Castle’s Long-Lost Daughter

THE DAY BREAKERS Part 1: Peer Pressure’s No Good, Kids
THE DAY BREAKERS Part 2: Oh Wait, I Had It Backwards
THE DAY BREAKERS Part 3: Fight Scenes Are Annoying To Capture In This Medium

Chapter 110: 9/23: WARNING: SYSTEM DAMAGED
Chapter 111: 9/23: ERROR: NO GIMMICK FOUND
Chapter 112: 9/23-9/25: Executions Are Better With Friends
Chapter 113: 9/25: Invaders Must Die
Chapter 113.5: Side Note: Some Trivial Bullshit
Chapter 114: 9/25: Tell Me About Your Childhood
Chapter 115: 9/26: Makoto Makes A Charming New Friend!
Chapter 116: 9/27-9/28: Yuuki Mishima, The Hero
Chapter 117: 9/29-9/30: A Second Chance You Probably Don’t Deserve
Chapter 118: 10/1-10/2: Turtlenecks Are Back In Style
Chapter 119: 10/3-10/5: The Dumbest Girl In The Universe
Chapter 120: 10/6-10/8: The Hero Yuuki Mishima
Chapter 121: 10/9-10/11: This Should Go Well
Chapter 122: 10/11-10/12: The Foregone Conclusion

Chapter 123: 10/12-10/13: It’s A Setup
Chapter 124: 10/14: Strictly Platonic Massages
Chapter 125: 10/15: Children Are Monsters
Chapter 126: 10/16-10/20: A Test Of Patience
Chapter 127: 10/20-10/22: From Bad To Worse
Chapter 128: 10/23-10/24: The Akechi Gambit
Chapter 129: 10/25-10/26: The Akechi Reversal
Chapter 130: 10/26: Catching Up With The Family
Chapter 131: 10/27-10/28: Blaaaaackmaaaaail!!!!!
Chapter 132: 10/28-10/29: Straight As An Arrow
Chapter 133: 10/30: Beloved Smother
Chapter 134: 10/31-11/1: Spooky Veggies
Chapter 135: 11/2-11/3: Garden Variety
Chapter 136: 11/4-11/6: Affecting Family Moments And Attempted Fucking Murder
Chapter 137: 11/6: Punishment For A Wrong Committed In A Past Life
Chapter 138: 11/6-11/7: Guardian Angel
Chapter 139: 11/8-11/9: I Am Become Goku
Chapter 140: 11/10-11/11: Now That’s Some Shit Coffee
Chapter 141: 11/12-11/13: You Come At The King
Chapter 141.5: 11/13: Side Note: Seasons Don’t Fear The Reaper
Chapter 142: 11/13: Hamill’s Nine
Chapter 143: 11/13: 6500 Miles To Graceland
Chapter 144: 11/13-11/14: The Pointless Interlude
Chapter 145: 11/14: Goro Akechi’s Gambling Addiction
Chapter 146: 11/14-11/15: A Minor Delay
Chapter 147: 11/16-11/18: I Love You, Fake Dad
Chapter 148: 11/19: Breaking The Bank
Chapter 148.5: Side Note: Double Or Nothing
Chapter 149: 11/19-11/20: Replay Value
Chapter 150: 11/20: Communication Breakdown
Chapter 151: 11/20: Here Comes A Pleasant Boy
Chapter 152: 11/20: A Very Elaborate Game Over
Chapter 153: 11/20: Behind The Scenes
Chapter 154: 11/21: Delicious Pancakes
Chapter 155: 11/21: Evil Exposition Execrably Elucidates Earlier Events

Chapter 156: 11/22-11/23: Not Even A Plot Twist
Chapter 157: 11/23-11/24: Call Me Hamill
Chapter 158: 11/24: Nice Boat
Chapter 159: 11/25: Life As A Dead Man
Chapter 160: 11/26-11/27: Hey, I Like My Family As A Friend!
Chapter 161: 11/28-11/30: Long Time No See
Chapter 162: 12/1-12/3: Cinnamon Roll
Chapter 163: 12/4-12/6: Bad Redesign Central
Chapter 164: 12/7: My Real Name Is Quisling
Chapter 165: 12/7: Of Mice And Women
Chapter 166: 12/7: The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth
Chapter 167: 12/7: My Prized Hack
Chapter 168: 12/7: Taking Out The Trash
Chapter 169: 12/7: Resume Pleasantries
Chapter 170: 12/7: [redacted]
Chapter 171: 12/7-12/8: Making A Scene
Chapter 172: 12/8: The Return Of The Phantom Thieves
Chapter 173: 12/8: A River In A Dry Land
Chapter 174: 12/8: Sacrifice
Chapter 175: 12/8: Dealing With Loss
Chapter 176: 12/8-12/9: Like Sheep To The Slaughter
Chapter 177: 12/10-12/15: Fuck All Video Games Forever
Chapter 178: 12/16-12/17: One Last Ride
Chapter 179: 12/18-12/19: Triumph And Skullduggery
Chapter 180: 12/20-12/23: Cynicism Wins Again
Chapter 180.5: 12/22: Side Note: This City Is Built On Lies

Chapter 181: 12/24: End Of The Line
Chapter 182: 12/24: The Sweet Embrace Of Nihilism
Chapter 183: 12/24: The Heart Of The World
Chapter 184: 12/24: Cognitive Decay
Chapter 185: 12/24: Velvet Enigma
Chapter 186: 12/24: Velvet Deception
Chapter 187: 12/24: The Audacity Of Mope
Chapter 188: 12/24: The Truth About Cats
Chapter 189: 12/24: Once More Unto The Breach
Chapter 190: 12/24: Dance With The Angels
Chapter 191: 12/24: Heaven’s Feel
Chapter 192: 12/24: Deadly Sins
Chapter 193: 12/24: Thanks, Satan
Chapter 194: 12/24: Goodbye To Cognition
Chapter 195: 12/24-12/25: Blue Christmas
Chapter 196: 12/31-1/31: Confide

Chapter 197: 2/13: Home Again
Chapter 198: 2/13-2/14: Kiss Me Goodbye
Chapter 199: 3/19: The Long Farewell
Chapter 200: 3/20: Our Piece Of The Future

Addendum I: Another Goddamn Fusion Episode
Addendum II: Samsara
Addendum III: Gettin’ Smashed
Addendum IV: Time Enough At Last
Addendum V: Double Trouble
Addendum VI: Downloadable Christfigures
Addendum VII: Bad Romance
Addendum VIII: Me And My Goth GF
Addendum IX: Sega Bass Fishing
Addendum X: Two-Timing In Paradise
Addendum XI: Getting Swole
Addendum XII: A Festival For The Rest Of Us
Addendum XIII: Better To Have Loved And Lost
Addendum XIV: Child’s Play
Addendum XV: False Closure, Part 1
Addendum XVI: False Closure, Part 2
Addendum XVII: Mass Incarceration
Addendum XVIII: Almost Christmas
Addendum XIX: Lovesickness
Addendum XX: Heartbeat, Heartbreak
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