Part 78: 7/26: I Hate SandPart 76: 7/26: I Hate Sand
Music: The Days When My Mother Was There
...Hey, you guys still alive?
Oww First a boulder, then this Did we piss her off somehow?
I dont think it has anything to do with us angering her I suspect the problem is that she cant control her instinct to push people away from her.
A simple defense mechanism Considering what shes been through, I dont blame her for mistrusting others.
Joker, lets save her! Weve gotta help Futaba-chan open the door to her heart!
I have no objections, but we should worry about ourselves first and foremost. Come on, lets look for a way back above ground. Otherwise this place is going to end up our tomb too.
These are Naga. Theyre weak to Wind and use Electricity and Physical.
The room contains a few miscellaneous treasure chests and a lot of assorted loot, but the only really important thing in it is the way out at the top.
*sigh* Thank god we can finally get out of here. This was all around a horrible experience.
Yet more dog Shadows in here.
This one isnt an actual dog though, its Thoth, a baboon. Its weak to Psy and uses Nuclear and Almighty damage. Weve seen Almighty before with Madarames Madara-Megido, but that was a rather pathetic attack. Almighty is neutral damage that cannot be resisted. While that applies to both sides of the battle, it also means a lot of lategame enemies will just love to try to nuke you with it.
Theres a midboss hanging around this passage, but we ignore him for now and head for the door leading out.
This is what it looks like when Morganas Pickpocket Confidant skill procs, by the way. I believe this is the only time in the entire dungeon it activated for me, though, which is a little disappointing.
These are Lamia. Theyre weak to Ice and use Foul Breath to increase ailment susceptibility followed by Ominous Words to inflict Despair.
And heres the exit.
At least we have secured our escape route. We can finally go about exploring this place now.
Lets use this as our entrance from here forward. It should be more stable than the front.
Music: Aria of the Soul
From Fui-Ki and Take-Minakata, we make Principality.
Order and discipline come before anything else. Take my mask, and let us defend our honor together.
The Principalities are the angels that guide and protect nations, groups of people, and institutions such as the Church. They are guardians and educators, and inspire living things to ends such as art and science.
Back in the pyramid, Makoto levels up, learning Flash Bomb. Its a move that deals Medium Physical damage to all enemies, as well as inflicting Dizzy.
Music: The Days When My Mother Was There
Heh, you dont gotta freak out about it! Lets beat its ass!
>Here we go.
Brace yourselves. This is definitely no normal enemy!
HENCE, THERE SHALL BE NO PATH FORWARD FOR YOU. IT IS TIME YOU PERISH!
I CAN SPEAK IN ALL CAPS LIKE A HUGE DORK TOO
Music: Keeper of Lust
Oh jesus fuck no
Thankfully, thats not quite the flavor of bullshit well be dealing with here today. Instead, well...
It can just turn our party members into mice!
As you might have imagined, rattled party members are completely unable to act until the ailment expires in three turns or so. Its pretty annoying. A cute detail though is that the mouse is still wearing its respective character's mask.
Hows this dude fit that horn inside the coffin?
It can also summon Lamia, which isnt a big deal either. All that and its Wind weakness mean it goes down pretty quick.
Music: The Days When My Mother Was There
We should make sure we dont get reckless though. Its better to proceed one step at a time.
The next room contains this huge weapon.
Oh, thats a stationary weapon back from the middle ages called a ballista.
You even know about stuff like this, Queen? I guess thats pretty fitting for you.
And whats that supposed to mean ?
Hold up, that thing aint gonna shoot us or nothing, right?
Well, theres an arrow in here, but it seems to be broken. On top of that, its slanted away.
In the same room, we find a door we cant open.
So what, does that mean we aint gonna be able to open it?
No, I think its the opposite. How we open this door should provide a hint for unlocking the other one.
We might find something out if we investigate the area around here! Lets go, everyone!
In a neighboring room, light is shining down, hitting a mirror, and reflecting into a wall.
Theres nothing we can do about that in this room.
However, if we climb up onto this nearby ledge
We find a button.
Think before you go touching that, OK? It might be a trap. Although, Im curious about it myself...
As they say, Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Very well.
The ballista fires...
...sending the light pouring through the newly formed hole in the wall, hitting the door.
Im not so sure about that It looks like pressing that button has changed something in here.
Yes, there is now light being cast on that door. It is a markedly obvious difference.
Youre right. Lets go take a closer look.
Hey again! I got bored of bad 2003-era game design, so I ditched Sphinx. Instead, how about some bad 2006-era game design?
I hear this game isnt very well liked these days, and from what I can tell from this save screen, my brother seems to agree, considering that he got about halfway through it and hasnt played in a year and a half.
We dont start out in the actual dungeon yet, so we have to make our way through another area first.
We can use arrows to kill these Bokoblins (Wait, theyre called Bulbins? What? Thats dumb) in the watchtowers before they notice us. I know this because
Oh crap, lets punch this hog!
I was not expecting a reward, maam. Just doing my job.
King Bulblin is mad at me and takes it out on the pig, which is uncalled for. I give him what for.
And in return, he sets the place on fire!
RIDE THE PIG TO SAFETY
And, heres the dungeon.
Now were in the Arbiters Grounds proper. Its a dungeon.
Theres a lot of annoying sand thatll suck us down if we stay in it for too long, forcing us to jump across platforms and Hookshot (Wait its the Clawshot here? Why?) to specific points.
Hey, Mr. Little Skullman! Please dont stab me with that!
So shining light upon the door is what caused it to unlock
Wait, doesnt that mean we can open the door at the great stairs the same way!?
Thats a definite possibility. In any case, we should push on.
In the next room, we see a tablet.
Let me see The light shed by the god of the underworld shall become the sign for those who traverse the pits. What could this mean ?
This charming gal on the left is Isis (NOT THAT ONE). She uses Makarakarn to reflect a single magic attack, which is pretty annoying. Shes also weak to Psy.
The room were currently in climbs upward, with the occasional side room. One such room contains this gem.
This is Anubis, the Egyptian god of the underworld. It seems to have some kind of shining orb
Um, no. Hes the god of the dead. Osiris is the god of the underworld. Ha! ...What a sad life I live.
That sounds kinda familiar. Something about light from the god of the underworld ?
Hm, this may come in handy somewhere. Shall we take it?
>Yeah, that sounds good.
Very well. This may prove to be an object of great import.
As we leave, more enemies spawn.
Defeating them levels Ann up and gets her Tentarafoo, which we use to replace Agi. Tentarafoo inflicts Confuse on multiple targets.
Further up, another statue with another gem.
The gods name is Anubis. It really isnt hard to remember, Skull So, do you think we should take this gem?
>Sure, lets take it.
All right. Lets grab it and continue onward.
We get another Abyss Gem.
That means we are directly above where we ended up after coming through the front entrance.
We had to shine light on that one to get it to open, right? Do you think this is the same mechanism!?
What to do? Over in the corner, there are two suspicious objects...
Maybe we should put that thing from the Anubis statue in here.
>Lets try it.
Joker places the gem.
Nothing seems to be happening.
Calm down. From the looks of it, theres more than one pedestal.
Hey, werent there two of those gem-holdin dog things? Lets try puttin the other one in!
>Here we go.
So shining light upon it is what causes it to open. That is the same as the door underground.
We cant rest on our laurels though. Lets stay cautious and proceed forward.
We seem to be pushing our way through the doors of her heart.
I dont know if Id phrase it like that. Anyway, lets keep going!
Up ahead, we find a safe room, another wall, and another door.
Now we have to deal with all these Poes.
Blasted things are taking the fire from the and closing the door so we cant keep going!
Look at them there, mocking us...
Its like a weird hybrid of a dementor and a Nazgul, which actually isnt that weird because theyre kind of the same thing. Whatever, we killed it.
These ReDead Knights (just make them ReDeads, god, you dont have to make everything dark and scary as part of your overreaction to the idiots complaining about Wind Waker) can scream and petrify you for several seconds. And then theyll hit you with a big sword.
I remember watching my brother play Wind Waker with the sound off because those ReDeads scared the bejeezus out of him, but those guys didnt have a sword to attack with, so they just humped your face. Wholesome. What was I talking about?
Oh yeah, I could be playing Wind Waker instead of this. Thatd be nice, but the Wind Temple is really late in that game and I wanna keep the theme going.
You know, my brother 100 percented Wind Waker? I dont know why youd even do that, the end of its a lot of looking up where the submarines are for the last few pieces of heart and treasure charts, and theres no real reason to do it, but that games good so I wont complain about it or nothing.
Anyway, heres a dumb Poe. Whatever.
Well, arent you just adorable?
In this room, we start walking slowly for some reason. Lets turn into the wolf and find out if theres something we cant see.
Oh. It was ghost rats. Fun. Im Im going to go hide on top of the bed now.
This Stalfos will come back to life unless you kill it with a bomb. Theres a US foreign policy joke to be made here. Or maybe there isnt. I have no real conception of politics yet, Im just repeating buzzwords I hear from people older than me! Deficits!
And another Poe.
Wait. Were back at the entrance? But thats only three! Where the hell is it? This dungeon sucks!
Lets enter the next section of this pyramid.
Thats to be expected Were basically raiding her tomb, after all. Wed better be cautious as we go, you guys!
Our attempt to follow her is met with considerable resistance.
Holy shit! Is she tryin to kill us or something!?
Yes, but unless we can do something about this trap, we will not be able to proceed.
Ugh, what a pain in the ass!
This here is Anubis, god of the dead and embalming, associated with mummification and the afterlife. Why, here, according to Wikipedia, heshit.
Im not wrong! Youre all wrong! Shut up! This didnt happen!
Anubis the Shadow doesnt have any weaknesses at all, which is hella annoying, especially because hes too high a level to grab for our collection. He loves using Bless and Curse skills, including...
Instant death! Fun!
We slot in Speed Master (Automatic Sukukaja at the start of battle) to replace Giant Slice.
In some areas of this Palace, the floors will collapse, forcing us to find alternate ways around.
Another statue with another gem.
Hold on, theres an inscription on this stone slab here Any who attempts to steal this gem shall be cursed Uhhh...
Dude, we cant let this curse shit get to us, right? Cmon, lets just take it.
Sweet, we got it. Lets go.
RETURN THE SLAB
We head further in, but...
Arrows fly out of the wall.
Whoa, that was too close!
It doesnt seem like this is gonna stop any time soon. Maybe that curse is real after all
Ughhh, what the hellre we supposed to do!? Goddammit!
Lets go put the gem back.
Yeah, we can always come back and get it if we need to later.
Could the curse perhaps have been lifted? We should check to see if anything has changed.
We can now proceed past where the arrows were firing.
>Press the button
That might do it Lets go and see if we can go after Futabas Shadow now. ...Lets hurry, you guys!
We could jump down right here and follow Futabas Shadow or we could be sneaky.
Lets go take this gem now that we dont need to go that way again.
>Take the gem
A curse shall befall you
Yeah, yeah. Whatever, buddy. We know your tricks. This time, we go back the way we originally came, bypassing the trap.
OKAY. We found the last Poe, which was hidden in a place you are pretty much guaranteed to miss the first time around, whatever. We progressed to a new area of the dungeon, which is still not great, but now were hanging out by this cool sword with all the ropes attached. Lets cut one, because theres no other way to progress and sometimes you just need to act like an idiot to get through life, I guess.
Also were capped on Rupees, which is wasteful because this game cant stop pouring rupees down your throat. The only way to get the next wallet up is to catch all the bugs in the game, which Im pretty sure no human being has ever done because why would you subject yourself to that much tedium for Twilight Princess of all things?
A monster! How unexpected!
We can only see this thing in wolf form, and we can only attack it when it glows blue during its own attacks.
Once we beat on it enough, it turns solid. From there, its just a matter of hitting it with an arrow and then whacking it with our sword a bunch.
That was a shameful performance. You dare call yourself a midboss? Pathetic.
The Spinner? What? Laaaaaaaaaaame! This is one of those dumb gadgets that well never see in another Zelda game again because its so useless and forced, right? Pff, stop wasting my time with this.
It doesnt even go that fast.
Huh, actually, this is kinda cool. Were going a lot faster now, and look how high we are!
OH MAN THIS IS RAD WERE BOUNCING ALL OVER THE PLACE
To rotate this wall and progress, we have to put the Spinner in this crevice and crouch and stand up repeatedly in a rather lewd manner. Im glad Louis isnt watching, hed find this queer.
Oh hey, its this dude. Uhh. Whatshisface. Grasshopper-Man. Yeah, thats it.
Dude stabs this sword into the big skull.
And unleashes a nifty boss fight! Not a great one, but an interesting one, at least!
So, theres a Spinner track at the edge of the arena, and corpses acting as obstacles popped up throughout. The goal is to hit Stallords spine a bunch.
Hitting it enough times will cause that section to break. Each section takes fewer hits than the one before it, which is good...
...Because it gets progressively harder to do. See, these corpses will form a wall that pops up on our approach, and its not really possible to go around and still hit the spine. So, we hit them, bounce back, and hit the wall again, trying to temporarily knock down enough of them to get through.
On the third section of the spine, a second wall of five corpses will form directly in front of the spine, in addition to the earlier wall. Its tricky, and control is kind of an issue, especially because of how fast were moving on the Spinner. This fight is still pretty impossible to die on, though.
Three segments down, the sand drains from the arena, and Stallord seems defeated...
But nope! Hes still kicking, and knocks us off this platform!
Now to climb back up! The Spinner track on the inside wall of the arena is a spiral heading upward, unlike the outside, which are just circles. We use this to get back up until Stallord shows his ugly mug again.
There it is.
Now, hell fire balls of flame (actually, they appear to be balls of terrible particle effects) in an attempt to knock us off, forcing us to jump from the inside to the outside or vice versa.
Eventually, hell get in close and we can jump into him, knocking him down.
From there, its just a matter of beating the sword in his head up.
Hell get back up, but from there its just a matter of avoiding the new obstacles on the path and doing it once more.
And thats a decent boss fight for this awful, boring dungeon down. Whats next?
Implady is emotional that the mirror? is broken!
Oh great its Ganondorf, of course its Ganondorf, yawn.
Oh my god who caaaaaaaaaaaaares
Okay, so heading further in, Ryuji replaces Rampage with Swift Strike, which instead of Light Physical 1 to 3 times per enemy, is Light Physical 3 to 4 times per enemy! Its a lot better.
Also we run into one of these goddamn Treasure Demons, but we cant find its vulnerability before it escapes.
Hmm, another Anubis statue, but with no gem this time.
Lets see Any who attempts to steal this gem shall be cursed... Wait, it says the same thing!?
But this statue isnt actually holding a gem What could be the meaning of this?
Hold up, we got one with us. Wanna try puttin it in there?
I guess thats probably safer. The gem we have didnt come from this statue to begin with, after all.
Now, lets head further in, Im sure nothing will interru--
Hm Weve seen this trap before. It had something to do with that curse
Does that mean this ones related to that gem too?
Lets head back to the statue we were just at.
>Place the gem
Hm, the atmosphere has changed in some intangible way Perhaps the curse has been lifted?
That thing wasnt even holdin a gem to start with! It aint fair makin us put one in!
Now we can head back and press the button.
That mustve been the ballista. It sounded like it was quite destructive.
Mkay, lets go find out if anything happened!
Now that the wall is destroyed, we can climb up through where it was standing.
Not a great payout, but not terrible, I suppose.
Odd. The design seems to be scrambled somehow.
Maybe its like a puzzle? Joker, can you change the picture?
This isnt difficult at all, the only issue being that pieces swap places, meaning any movement will displace the piece youre moving through. This can be easily worked around by starting at one of the edges, though.
And done. This took about ten seconds.
Whats this a picture of?
This adult seems to be reading something to a crying child ? Hm, the emotions of the artist are often depicted in the art they produce I can sense serious pain harbored in her heart.
Is that voice coming from the mural?
She was always such a bother It seems you caused your mother a great deal of trouble, Futaba-chan She must have had some kind of maternity neurosis...
The light is reflected toward the mural, which disappears.
The light passes through to the door on the other side.
Based on its contents, it sounded almost like a suicide note
Could that be what Futaba remembers of her mothers suicide?
But thats a fuckin sick thing to do to a kid if thats really how it all went down.
RYUJI SAID FUCK, HOLY SHIT
Theres no doubt were getting closer to the Treasure. Come on, lets keep moving!
And we come across our next barrier, with the usual safe room and door to the next area. Next time, well hopefully finish off the Palace.