The Let's Play Archive

Planescape: Torment

by Shadow Catboy

Part 57: Fake Update

Fake Update:

I accidentally stumbled on this dialogue in Infinity Explorer while I was looking up the stuff with the dead Dabus. Thought you guys might get a kick out of it.

You see the dead body of a Dabus. The stench of its decay is overpowering and, from the looks of its rigid, unatural posture, extreme rigormortis has long since set in. Yet, somehow, you are inexplicably aroused by the scene.

*Use your Stories-Bones-Tell power on the corpse.*

For a few seconds, it appears that nothing is going to happen. Then suddenly, a faint gasp of rasping breath weezes out of the corpse's open mouth.

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

There is silence for several moments, then, without warning the corpse's mouth begins to move. "'Course I can hear you! I'm *dead* not deaf... jive mutha'."

"Take it easy... I just want to ask you some questions."

"Questions? Do I look like an information booth to you, sucka?"

"What's with the jive talk... aren't you Dabus supposed to speak in rebuses?"

"Damn! You are one stupid honkey. Everyone knows that death is a universal language. What the hell good would it do me to start spitting out all those silly ass symbols if you couldn't understand a bit of it? How would you solve this quest then, huh? Besides this is only a placeholder dialogue, jackass."

"Can you at least tell me how you died so I can complete this damn Pregnant Alley quest and move on to the Lower Ward?"

"Sure thang, white bread. You see, it's like this. I came down into this Alley lookin' ta find out what the hell was going on with the buildings changin' and all that. Well, I wandered into this here building, then next thing I knew, the doors and windows just closed up. I was trapped with no way out. I tried to hammer my way out, but each time I took a chunk out of the wall, the building just seemed to repair itself."

"Thanks, you've been a great help."

"Don't mention it chump!"