Part 22: The Beast-Men of Volcano Island!

ALCATRAZ -- JAN 06 2508


Vampire Squad enter the village of the Highlanders.

Surprisingly, there is more than one.

I'm pumped the fuck up!
Keep a cool head, soldier! This will be the greatest threat we've faced.
Yeah. Let's keep it on procedure, guys.


Everybody freeze! We WILL open fire!
DAMN YOU BROS DIE
Move move move!


Ffffuuuuck!! Shit's going off the rails!!
Hahaha nice try dickface!


MORE OF THEM
Look at their beady little squinting eyes!


Don't run! Don't you DARE run!


*whew* Now what?
There's more of them ahead. I know it.
I'm so fucking pumped right now. You have no idea.


Yeah! YEAH! How your insides taste like!! YeeeEEEaaaAAAhhh!!
BRO BRO THATS JUST A HARMLESS CREATURE OF JESUS
No, Kruger is right. This pigcalf has given itself over to the Spider Matriarch of the Highlanders. It must be purged.


I'll shoot this one in the bum! *pow*


They move further onward.


BROS THAT DOG IS MENACING TOWARDS ME
It's been brainwashed by the Highlanders! Shoot it! Shoot it!
DOG I APOLOGIZE TO YOU DOG

After the owners of the dog are taken care of...

Check those houses! We can't leave survivors to spread their venom through the soils!
On it.


Who are you? Where is my brother?
Shut up just SHUT UP! What's in the chest!
Just some pota--
I said shut up!


After them!


Demon! On your six!
_{sonofbitches fucking sons of fucking bitch keep it together kruger cmon}


All that noise! I am frightened! Are we under attack?


BROS KEEP CALM WE ARE HERE TO HELP

{woman shrieks; sounds of glass and ceramics shattering on the floor}


_{yeah oh yeah oh yeeah} WILL SOMEBODY SHUT THAT BITCH UP
More Highlanders outside!




A WALL OF FLAME WILL CLEANSE YOU!
BRO QUIET DOWN
We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pigcalf after pigcalf...




Why do you attack us? We have done nothing to you! We just --
Where are the slaves! Where are they!




Anyody hurt?
No, I don't believe their weapons were capable of piercing our armor.
I... I'm alright. I'm... better than alright.
BROS MY INJURIES FROM TODAYS BATTLE LAY ENTIRELY ON MY SOUL

Time to rescue these slaves.


Get ready for the best sentence


Slaves gotten, slaves immediately forgotten about, the Vampire Squad and their Legionaire insider land on the island of the beastmasters.

Huh? What's that supposed to--


Oh.


They're only a little bit tougher than the Highlanders which, I don't know if you could tell, Vampire Squad was able to just cut through like warm butter.

They tend to carry Armor Piercing ammunition, however. Stranded on an island without a shopkeeper to repair their stuff, that could lead to trouble.

Here Vampire Squad come across a control room of some sort.


They leave it more or less as one would expect.


Kruger dies again, although he's certainly become a weak link ever since Demon joined the ranks. Here Demon shows off his LMG prowess.


This is actually a screenshot from the Facebook game Planet Alcatraz: Legends.

The dungeon is kind of a slog through a bunch of dudes. Eventually Vampire Squad arrives at a control panel in front of a giant reactor.



Silence hangs around it, mingling with the particles of dust and the stench of mouldy water.

Boar approaches tentatively.

After months of nothing but soil, cacti, and bedsheets that smell like 20 years of cock, this technical marvel is like stepping onto a rocket mid-takeoff.


Beep.


Oh, good!


Yeah, let's do that.


Yyyyup.


Of course, that's all a matter of him not backstabbing Vampire Squad...


...But that would be silly. Why then would he just stand there as they kill hundreds of his comrades?

They all hop aboard the sub and leave the volcanic island of the trained assassin beastmen.

Wait. Hold on.

Aside from that intro cutscene there weren't any beast men. And the beast in that cutscene was just a Ratwolf, something Boar has been killing since he broke out of the Industrial Zone in update #8!

Oh well! Forget about that, then.

Here is where the Space Shuttle is. Apparently. I don't know yet. I don't trust this.


Still don't trust this.


Is this it? The end game??

Is there something I'm forgetting? Oh yeah! The weapons Vampire Squad just charged!

The Imperial Weapons. With the Imperial Weapon skill. That I tagged for Boar at the beginning of the game. And only just got to use right now. In the last fucking dungeon.


Boar, who if you remember from wayyyyy long ago has problems with burst-fire weaponry, takes the Blaster Pistol and a small amount of the limited 10mm ammo pool.


Sullen, who so far has been the... uh, sneaky, melee fighter takes the Blaster Assault Rifle and a greater share of the 10mm ammo.


Demon is doing juust fine with his armory of Assault Rifles, Grenade Launchers, and LMGs. He'll stick to that.


Kruger has been something of an odd duck. He's been half melee half grenade-tosser. Unfortunately tossing grenades isn't too reliable since they take a long time to prep and therefore must be aimed where the target is going to be and hopefully where friendly targets aren't.
But now is Kruger's time to shine! He has somehow accumulated the highest Imperial Weapons skill of everybody and is the champion of the Rail Gun, which gets its own ammo pool independent of the blaster pistol and assault blaster.

Kruger, are you still carrying around that Chinese hat?!
No! Yes.

If you noticed all of those huge red glowing icons next to the characters, good job! That indicates their armor is about to shatter off of their bodies. With no ability to go back to a shop and repair, it's do or die in the shuttle bay.
Vampire Squad will complete this mission even if they have to do it naked. They'd... probably prefer it that way.

Next time
TO BE CONCLUDED...??







BONUS VIDEO