Five Dot Pokémon
Height: 3'03" Weight: 23.8 lbs
Habitat: Forests Types: Bug/Flying
Very timid, Ledyba are afraid to wander on their own. However, they are very active in groups. Ledyba secretes an aromatic fluid from where its legs join its body. This fluid is used for communicating with others. This Pokémon conveys its feelings to others by altering the fluid's scent. When the weather turns cold, numerous Ledyba gather from everywhere to cluster and keep each other warm.
PHANPY OH MY GOD LOOK AT IT!
Don't screw this up ponch.
DURNIT PONCH! You scared it.
Oooh, colorful bird
Tiny Bird Pokémon
Height: 1'00" Weight: 4.4 lbs
Habitat: Scrubland Types: Normal/Flying
Spearow flaps its short wings to flush out insects from tall grass. It then nabs them with its stubby beak. It busily flits around here and there. Inept at flying high; it has to flap its short wings at high speed to stay airborne. However, it can dart around very quickly to protect its territory. Even if it is frail, it can be a tough foe that uses Mirror Move. Spearow has a very loud cry that can be heard over half a mile away. If its high, keening cry is heard echoing all around, it is a sign that they are warning each other of danger.
Yeah, I know, not all the names are humorous. Everyone I asked had nothin better. :/
Stupid ol' Ponch isn't here this time.
Long Nose Pokémon
Height: 1'08" Weight: 74 lbs
Habitat: Scrubland Types: Ground
For its nest, Phanpy digs a vertical pit in the ground at the edge of a river. It marks the area around its nest with its trunk to let the others know that the area has been claimed. They use their long nose to shower themselves. When others gather around, they thoroughly douse each other with water. These Pokémon can be seen drying their soaking-wet bodies at the edge of water. Phanpy's big ears serve as broad fans. When it becomes hot, it flaps the ears busily to cool down. As a sign of affection, it bumps with its snout. However, it is so strong, it may send you flying.
BACK TO TOWN!
DAMMIT PONCH. YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM.
Ooh, you think you're hot stuff Ms. Phanpy? Well-
OH! A Weedle!
Oh god what have I done?!
Hairy Bug Pokémon
Height: 1'00" Weight: 7.1 lbs
Habitat: Forests Types: Bug/Poison
Often found in forests and grasslands. Weedle has a sharp, toxic barb of around two inches on top of its head. Its bright colors are intended to warn off enemies. Weedle has an extremely acute sense of smell. It is capable of distinguishing its favorite kinds of leaves from those it dislikes just by sniffing with its big red proboscis.
He's my new enforcer.
So many cute monsters today.
Height: 1'04" Weight: 1.1 lbs
Habitat: Grasslands Types: Grass/Flying
This Pokémon drifts and floats with the wind. Its body is so light, it must grip the ground firmly with its feet to keep from being blown away. If it senses the approach of strong winds, Hoppip links its leaves with other Hoppip to prepare against being blown away. They do enjoy gentle breezes, though.
"And lo, the Bellsprout empire shuddered."
A brick, pier?
Oh god, I didn't mean it!
Everybody wants to beat me up.
And suddenly, an unknown hatred was awakened in Roxy as she commanded Honeypot to lacerate the pathetic fish.
Oh shit, this one actually has some levels. Still not a threat though.
But man I don't wanna sit through Lumpy tackling it for 5 minutes straight just for pisspoor EXP.
What'd I do to you?
Oh god it can peck stuff.
That's good too.
The fact Wooper starts with Water Gun would be amazing if it weren't for his shitty Sp.Attack stat. Yippy needed a physical attack to become the best cute fighting machine ever.
OH GOD SNAKE.
Send it to hell, Yippy!
Stuff it in a ball just get it away!
Height: 6'07" Weight: 15.2 lbs
Habitat: Grasslands Types: Poison
Ekans curls itself up in a spiral while it rests. Assuming this position allows it to quickly respond to a threat from any direction with a glare from its upraised head. A very common sight in grassland, etc. It flicks its tongue in and out to sense danger in its surroundings. Moving silently and stealthily, it eats the eggs of birds, such as Pidgey and Spearow, whole. It can freely detach its jaw to swallow eggs and larger prey. It can become too heavy to move, however. When first born, it has no poison, so its bite is painful but harmless. At night, it wraps its long body around tree branches to rest.
I don't like the sound of that.
Or the sounds of all those bats...
...ok, maybe they're Armadillos making the noise?
Height: 2'00" Weight: 26 lbs
Habitat: Scrubland Types: Ground
Sandshrew's body is configured to absorb water without waste, enabling it to survive in an arid desert. When it gets cold at night, its hide is said to become coated with a fine dew. Sandshrew has a very dry hide that is extremely tough. This species can roll into a ball that repels any attack. If it fell from a great height, this Pokémon could save itself by rolling into a ball and bouncing. Sandshrew burrow deep underground in arid locations far from water. It only emerges to hunt for prey.
God you people think of original names.
This world frightens and confuses me.
GO YIPPY! GO!
Evisceration was never so cute.
"I can't go on living! "
Oh god I'm lost in a cave and there are bats and armadillos and more bats and I saw a guy shoot himself and-
What the fuck? This is all an elaborate prank by that dick next door, isn't it?
OH GOD IT SPITS FIRE.
DROP DA PHAT BEATS HEAVY G.
Daylight! Surely it will chase the nerds and creeps away!
Aaaaand, another update tonight after work.