The Let's Play Archive

Pokemon Crystal

by Chorocojo

Part 5

Yeah he-

Don't you wanna know which way he went? Or that he beat me up?

I know, that poor Chikorita got violated.

This better not turn out to be a big joke and this is just breakfast.

Yes, that.


You're trying to tell me nobody's ever seen a Pokémon lay an egg?

I mean you'd think somebody would notice.

Oh, yes? He also told me to kick some kid in the nuts.

You know you can buy these at Target, right?

He commended me for not stopping the Totodile from eating cute stuff.

Ooh.. Do I get chocolate for becoming champion?

The kid with the birds?

I wish I had better shoes then.

"Because the second you leave. "

Watch out, it'll take your hand off.

The asshole next door.

You want the little bastard?!

He's real easy to take care of, just let him eat stuff. He likes the taste of cute...

....That's not that helpful.


Rattata #019

Rat Pokémon Type: Normal
Height: 1'00" Weight: 7.7 lbs
Basic Habitat: Grasslands
Rattata is cautious in the extreme. Even while it is asleep, it constantly listens by moving its ears around. Small and very quick, it is a common sight in many places. If you see one, it's almost certain at least forty more live nearby. It is not picky about where it lives - it will make its nest anywhere. Its fangs are long and very sharp. They grow continuously, so it gnaws on hard things to whittle them down. It bites anything when it attacks. It eats everything. Wherever food is available, it will settle down and produce offspring continuously.

Best Geodude sprite in the series.
Geodude #074

Rock Pokémon Type: Rock/Ground
Height: 1'04" Weight: 44 lbs
Basic Habitat: Mountains
It climbs mountain paths using only the power of its arms. The longer a Geodude lives, the more its edges are chipped and worn away, making it more rounded in appearance. However, this Pokémon's heart will remain hard, craggy, and rough always. Proud of their sturdy bodies, they bash against each other in a contest to prove whose is harder. When it enters deep sleep, it buries itself halfway into the ground. It will not awaken even if hikers step on it unwittingly. In the morning, this species rolls downhill in search of food. Its round form makes it easy to pick up. Some people have used them to hurl at each other in a snowball fight.

Missed the screencap. But
Pidgey #016

Tiny Bird Pokémon Type: Normal/Flying
Height: 1'00" Weight: 4 lbs
Basic Habitat: Forests
Pidgey has an extremely sharp sense of direction. It is capable of unerringly returning home to its nest, however far it may be removed from its familiar surroundings. A common sight in forests and woods; Pidgey does not like to fight. It flaps its wings at ground level to kick up blinding sand. It hides in tall grass and so on, foraging for food such as small bugs.

Yes I know, Pidgey doesn't learn Peck.
Missed Sentret's screencap too.
Sentret #161

Scout Pokémon Type: Normal
Height: 2'07" Weight: 13.2 lbs
Basic Habitat: Forests
It stands on its tail so it can see a long way. If it spots an enemy, it cries loudly to warn its kind. When Sentret sleeps, it does so while another stands guard. The sentry wakes the others at the first sign of danger. When this Pokémon becomes separated from its pack, it becomes incapable of sleep due to fear.

It's so tragically amusing to think that somewhere, another Sentret is Pidgeotto bait because I took its lookout.

I had no reason to name him this. ERIK ESTRADA.

Caterpie #010

Worm Pokémon Type: Bug
Height: 1'00" Weight: 6.4 lbs
Basic Habitat: Forests
Caterpie has a voracious appetite. It can devour leaves bigger than its body right before your eyes. From its antenna, this Pokémon releases a terrifically strong odor. It is covered with a green skin. When it grows, it sheds the skin, covers itself with silk, and becomes a cocoon. Its short feet are tipped with suction pads that enable it to tirelessly climb slopes and walls. It tenaciously climbs trees and forages.

Heavy G n' Master P.


Calaveron posted:

Anyone know any other horrible things that Pokémon do? Like Feraligatrs eating humans and Shedinja's stealing souls?

- It's only urban legends about Shedinja stealing souls by looking into its back.
- Skarmory's feathers were used as swords back in the day.
- Gyarados have the capability to destroy cities when enraged.
- Kabutops's scythes were used to slash foe's guts open then feed on their innards
- Aerodactyl's serrated teeth were used to rip throats out.
- Sharpedo can tear holes through Supertankers.
- Lanturn paralyze their prey with bolts of electricity then swallow the stunned prey whole.
- Gorebyss stabs its pointed mouth into victims and drains their body fluids.
- Cacturne remain perfectly still during the day, then become active at night, hunting for creatures that became exhausted and tired during the day.

Monsieur Frigo posted:

Here are some of my favourites
-Swarms of shuppet gather round homes where people feel negative emotions.
-mothers in pokemon land tell children if they misbehave duskulls will take them away
-misdreavus loves to bite and yank peoples hair to see their shocked reactions, and will also play tricks like screaming and wailing to startle people at night
-metagross pins prey down with its four legs and eats them with its stomach
-jynx is so alluring it makes people sway their hips without realising it
-absol can predict natural disasters and is seen as a bringer of doom
-sharpedos can tear through supertankers with their teeth
-pinecos hang from trees. If you shake its branch it drops off and explodes

Contrabassoon posted:

Golbat can suck out 10oz of blood in an instant. It preys on both people and Pokemon.
Victreebel swallows small creatures whole and dissolves them in acid.
Rhydon can knock over a building in one blow.
Aron eats dump trucks, bridges, and railroad tracks. Lairon fights miners over deposits of iron ore. Aggron takes up landscaping as a hobby
You can make perfume out of Weezing's toxic gases if you dilute them enough
You can see an Ampharos' tail from space.
If you look at a Stantler's antlers too long it makes you fall down.
Lapras has been hunted to the brink of extinction and they spend all night singing sad songs as they search for others of their kind

Calaveron posted:

Keeping with the "horrible things Pokémon can do" trend:
-When angered, Gyarados will go on a rampage that can go for either a month or until everything on its path is destroyed.
-Blastoise's water cannons are capable of punching holes through steel walls.
-Dragonite can fly around the world in 9 (or so) minutes.
-If Butterfrees are anything like real-life butterflies, they most probably die right after mating season.
-Machamps can strike 500 punches in one second.
-Golbats enjoy the taste of blood so much, they will not stop drinking it even if they are not able to fly anymore.
-Houndooms will expel a deadly gas from its mouth if threatened. This is also why a burn inflicted by a Houndoom never stops hurting.