Part 22: Fuck Wildlife Sanctuaries
Alright, rested up. Time for an awesome match with Crasher W—
Jorge.
Yeah, I met him there.
Man, I took my time getting here AND waited until morning. What could he possibly be doing?
Well shoot, I guess I'll look around and then head back. . .
No.
I feel this is an insight into the type of people that both look for teams and that teams look for.
"Which I am part of. Me and my explosives that are coming from Veilstone warehouse to do a job. Boy I'm glad our police force is inept!"
I guess?
I don't need to buy a special cable or something for this, do I?
I kinda planned to do this anyway.
Choro Notes: Safari Game
Hey, remember that place in Red/Blue? the Safari Zone? How would you like that but instead with obstructions, gimmicks and annoying Pokémon?! Fuck the Safari Zone, fuck every safari zone. Fuck Johto's Safari Zone especially.
Every day, Sinnoh's great marsh's pokémon are randomized. For instance, one day you can find Skorupi but no Croagunk. It's really, really obnoxious because it's layered on top of the general safari game bullshit.
So those dark spots? those are deep points in the mud. Hit one and you're stuck for a few button presses. The kicker? In diamond/pearl you can't see the deep spots.
Oh boy. I'm soooo glad I paid for this.
A shambling mass of vegetation, this place is full of them.
Tangela
Blue plant vines cloak the Pokémon's identity in a tangled mass. It entangles anything that gets close. These vines are always jiggling and effectively unnerve its foes. Tangela's vines snap off easily if they are grabbed. This happens without pain, allowing it to make a quick getaway. The lost vines are replaced by newly grown vines the very next day.
Zorak Notes: Some people don't like Tangela but I do! It gained a new evolution this generation that is pretty sweet. HERE'S A RIDDLE FOR YOU THOUGH: where does Tangela get it's shoes??? THINK ABOUT THAT!!
Choro Notes: Tangela IS the shoes.
Zorak Notes: Whoah wait a minute... whoah. WHOAH.
Good Listener named this.
That is the
Yanma
Yanma is capable of seeing 360 degrees without having to move its eyes. It won't miss prey, even those behind it. It is a great flier that is adept at making sudden stops and turning midair. This Pokémon uses its flying ability to quickly chase down targeted prey. It can hover in one spot by flapping its wings at high speed. It flits about to guard its territory. If it flaps its wings really fast, it can generate shock waves that will shatter nearby windows.
Choro Notes: Yanma owns, dragonflies own, bug-types own. Another pokémon that gained an awesome evolution in gen4, turning into a gigantic, prehistoric meganeura.
HulkaMatt Notes: Its a crazy dragonfly pokemon. When I was a kid I held up a fishing net and a dragonfly flew right into it and scared the shit out of me. Dragonflies are scary. Yanma isn't very scary but he's pretty big for a dragonfly jesus christ. Like, I think he's as big as my head and i have a big head.
Zorak Notes: Meganeura are sweet, and a giant Pokemon based on meganeura are also sweet. Gained an evolution this gen, Yanmega; it's only flaw is that it can't learn fly so you can fly around on a giant dragonfly monster.
I dunno where this screencap went! It's named Tia.
Ugh, who could ever use a slimy little mudbugger like this?
Wooper
Wooper usually lives in cold water, half burying itself in mud at the bottom to sleep. However, when the temperature cools in the evening, it comes out onto land in search of food. On land, it coats its body with a gooey, toxic film. Touching it barehanded can cause a shooting pain.
Choro Notes:
HulkaMatt Notes: Wooper are adorable water pokemon and lasted me the whole playthrough in gold and silver. I liked them that much. Really fun water pokemon. Great lookin'
Choro Notes: Wooper are adorable water pokemon and lasted me the whole playthrough in gold and silver. I liked them that much. Really fun water pokemon. Great lookin'
HulkaMatt Notes: RED I WASN'T LYING I EVOLVED WOOPER INTO QUAGSIRE AND USED HIM FOR THE REST OF THE GAME.
Choro Notes: Hmm . . .
tyrsHTML named this
Well oh boy! I'll just evolve one of the zero species of Pokémon in Sinnoh that evolve with this!
Oh you're kidding me.
Not gonna run? even then? Fine.
Quagsire
Quagsire's body is always slimy. A sluggish swimmer—it often bangs its head on the river bottom or on boat hulls as it swims but seems not to care. Quagsire hunts for food by leaving its mouth wide open in water and waiting for its prey to blunder in unaware. Because the Pokémon does not move, it does not get very hungry.
Zorak Notes: Quagsire has ok stats, not really spectacular. It suffers, however, from a terrible, terrible flaw: it is no longer an Axolotl. SHAMEFUL.
HulkaMatt Notes: They aint as cute as wooper but they got an awesome face.
Choro Notes: Not even safe from the bibarels in here. In Diamond/Pearl you could find Staravias in here too.
Oh hey yeah, this is totally safe for a kid to wander through.
Choro Notes: This is the Poison-type plate.
There's gotta be some in here.
Man, is EVERYTHING in here muddy or gross or a shambling monstrosity of either vines or suck?
Barboach
Barboach's body is covered with a slimy film. If a foe grabs it, this Pokémon just slips out of the enemy's grip. This Pokémon grows weak if the slimy coating dries up. Barboach's sensitive whiskers serve as a superb radar system. This Pokémon hides in mud, leaving only its two whiskers exposed while it waits for prey to come along.
Choro Notes: For a while I thought barboach's mouth was an eye. It's not.
HulkaMatt Notes: Ive hatched many a barboach I've named them after various types of Alcohol. RED KNOWS.
HulkaMatt named this
Are those wings?!
No way I'm not catching you.
Tropius
Tropius loves fruit, and eats it continuously. Apparently, its love for fruit resulted in its own outgrowth of fruit. In the spring, it scatters pollen from its neck. Children of the southern tropics eat as snacks the fruit that grows in bunches around the neck of Tropius. This Pokémon flies by flapping the leaves on its back as if they were wings.
Choro Notes: Giant flying dinosaur with bananas that grow from his neck. This thing owns so hard. They gained the Treecko family's former signature move, Leaf Blade in gen4. And, yes, you could use them as HM dudes if you were inclined to.
HulkaMatt Notes: Tropius is a dinosaur who grows bananas on his back. Dinosaurs are cool enough. A dinosaur that grows bananas?????????? There is literally 0 reason to not have a tropius.
Ok, there is no higher point to this trip. We're out.
Not really, I could have just caught five magikarp.
Matchup for what?
Choro Notes: The Matchup Checker actually determines whether two specific monsters can breed or not.
Two compatible monsters will have the luvdiscs produce a
. Viola and CtScorpula can breed because they're a female and male of the insect egg group.
But Campana and Viola can't breed. One because they're both girls. Two because Viola is in the insect group and Chimecho is in the Indeterminate group. Indeterminate group, as an aside, is where monsters like Haunter, Muk, Weezing, Gulpin, etc. are placed. It generally translates as "Yes, it's male. But fuck if I can find a penis on it." Gardevoir's family is in the Indeterminate group, of note.
Well, let's stop at the Pokémon center before we head back towards Pastoria.
What, here? In the Pokémon center?
Choro Notes: Wandering the centers of most cities is a cycle of trainers you can fight each day. They're good for EXP for lower leveled monsters.
Ugh, look at you.
Ughhhh.
This'll be much quicker and with less suffering for a fish.
Teehee!
Oh dear I appear to have lost all will to continue what I was doing.