Part 34: Walking in a Winter Wonder—Fuck Snow.
—Fuck Snow.
Music: Johto Rival Battle - Anime version
Dangit dangit dangit
HEY YEAH, I KNOW I TOLD Y—oh jeez is that guy's arm supposed to bend that way?
We both know he's basically a failure at everything but failure itself!!!
*snap*
Oh, well at least you're honest about your roles.
I never get tired of seeing that.
Oh don't even say that you're better than me in any way.
Too late!
. . .
Time bought back!
Toxicroak. It's Toxicroak that your hair reminds me of.
You lost to a turtwig and a kricketune, yeah.
. . . . Commander. . . Uranus?
THAT. Was uncalled for and I will end you now.
Lucas stay the heck out of my way.
Ugh, you again.
Perhaps she deserved that as penance, sure.
QUIT EATING, FATTY.
Rock beats Cat.
Deal with it, babycakes.
From my experience that's all you all do.
Wait. That's right, mirage Pokémon.
Oh dang
Oh you butts.
Well I just feel like the world's biggest tool. Glad it's in no way my fault, everybody who's not me!
Not my fault.
Not me either.
Technically your fault.
That one I'll take credit for.
I assume no responsibility for my idiot.
. . .
. . .
. . . GEEZ, FINE. I'M ON MY WAY.
Let's see I am. . . here
Jorge is. . . here
So I just need to go up thr—
Ughghghghhhh.
Alright, in and out. We can do this quick and easy.
Music: Mt. Coronet — Black/White Soundfont version
Now's your time to shine, lil bugger.
Choro Notes: Rock Polish is a rock-type move that sharply boosts speed. Basically your Onix or whatever is grinding parts of its own body off to lose some weight. Kinda hardcore
Choro Notes: There are a lot of shards just littering Mt. Coronet.
Oh. Hey. Fog. Glad I have defog cause nuts to this!
Choro Notes: Light Clay increases the time Reflect, Light Screen and Safeguard remain in effect if the holder uses the move. Actually kind of handy!
Choro Notes: And the Soft Sand boosts the power of Ground-type moves for the holder.
This is the third cave like this I've seen. It looks. . . new?
Hmmm. . .
Nothing else!
Music: Route 216 (Night)Welp, snow. My life is just full of snow.
You're thinking of firemen.
Choro Notes: Route 216 and 217
So, it never really comes up because tch, but if you've noticed on the overworld, it's snowing here! What does that translate into? Hail. Yeah every battle in this area has hail automatically from the start. Hail damages all combatants each turn except for those of the ice-type.
Oh c'mon why would you bring a Tropius here? That seems so very, very mean.
Choro Notes: Yeah, For some reason, people don't know you can sleep here. Like, despite the fact talking to the hiker there lets you sleep.
BACK OUTSIDE.
It's some sort of gentle conifer sasquatch—or "wood ape"—that I should leave in peace.
Or cram into a ball. Yes that last thing is what I'll do.
Snover
Snover lives on snowy mountains. Having had little contact with humans, it is boldly inquisitive, they gather around footsteps they find on snowy mountains. In the spring, it grows berries with the texture of frozen treats around its belly. During cold seasons, it migrates to the mountain's lower reaches. It returns to the snow-covered summit in the spring.
Choro Notes: Snover are fucking cute. I really don't have anything else to say about it other than keep it away from heat sources.
Zorak Notes: Snow warning is cool, having 7 weaknesses (including 4x to fire!) is not.
HulkaMatt Notes: What the hell is this thing? It's like a snow tree. Is that what it is? A tree that turns into a giant monster. That's fine with me. If a pokemon wants to be a tree I aint got no problem with that. Carry on my tree monster friend. Carry on.
Choro Notes: This is here just in case you thought you were fine with the hail damage. There are also Zubat all up and down this route. Fucking. Zubat.
Weather's gettin' worse. . .
. . .
Maylene?
What are y—OH MY GOD, YOUR FEET ARE BLACK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
You're risking serious harm doing that, you know.
THIS ISN'T A BRISK NOVEMBER DAY, MAYLENE.
Your snot's frozen. That's disgusting.
. . . I can't wait to pass a moroncicle in about an hour.
. . . I'm not going to die out here.
Oh well thank the lord, a nugget.
fffffffff
Oh hey just what I want. More of this crap.
"I mean I was just tossing it to myself as I headed down the path, no idea how it happened!"
sheer cliffs. . ."Herp.
Derp.
Keeping it.
Man, I just found nuggets of solid gold and TMs.
Choro Notes: This is one of the trickier plates to find, simply because it's not actually hidden! The hiker found it!
What a strange trainer class.
Yeah, most of my battles are that fast. I'm kind of that cool.
Trick or Treat.
Choro Notes: The Spell Tag boosts Ghost-type moves for the holder.
You know. . .
. . . Oh. I guess she went out.
Choro Notes: Ice Rock
This rock actually has an effect on Eevees. If an eevee levels up anywhere on this route it will evolve into Glaceon.
Fuzzy living football?
Swinub
Swinub roots for food by rubbing its snout against the ground. Its favorite food is a mushroom that grows under the cover of dead grass. This Pokémon occasionally roots out hot springs. If it smells something enticing, it dashes headlong off to find the source of the aroma. It uses the tip of its nose to dig for food. Its nose is so tough that even frozen ground poses no problem.
Choro Notes: I'm serious, these things would make the best footwarmers and if you aren't sad that they don't exist then you aren't thinking about how awesome they would be enough.
Zorak Notes: Did you know that wild pigs are actually extremely dangerous? Swinub evolves into a woolly mammoth which GOES TO SHOW I GUESS
HulkaMatt Notes: Swinub is one of those pokemon that I don't see many people have. I dont know why the thing is freakin adorable. They're all like wah wah it's weak to more than 3 types. FUCK YOU IT TURNS INTO A MOTHER FUCKING MAMMOTH. I'm going to raise one of these guys right now. A MAMMOTH PEOPLE. A MAMMOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neeksy sort of named this indirectlyCan't freakin wait to get this under my desk.
FINALLY.
. . .
Fudgin' finally.
JORGE, GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I HIT YOU.
YES. COME DOWN AND GET ME BEFORE BAD THINGS HAPPEN.
ASGHFLKJAHFJAGFJA
Oh, you moron. . .
Cocky little freak.
NOT NOW.
Sneasel
A smart and sneaky Pokémon. A pair of Sneasel may work together to steal eggs by having one lure the parents away. Sneasel is extremely vicious and will not stop attacking until its foe is incapable of moving. Its paws conceal sharp claws. If attacked, it suddenly extends the claws and startles its enemy.
Choro Notes: Sneasel are fast and can hit fairly hard. Especially now that their primary types can actually use its attack stat.
Zorak Notes: It's a Kamaitachi! Kinda. It's kind of... ok?
HulkaMatt Notes: WOAH HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT?! SOMETHING JUST RAN BY ME AT A HIGH SPEED. Oh it's a fucking SNEASEL I'm glad it didn't tear my face off cause it totally could have without me even noticing.
That Snorunt looks super tough!
Ah! S-such disdain!
A luxury ball for you!
Snorunt
Snorunt live in regions with heavy snowfall. Snorunt survives by eating only snow and ice. In seasons without snow, such as spring and summer, this Pokémon steals away to live quietly among stalactites and stalagmites deep in caverns. They tend to move about in groups of around five Snorunt. It is said that several Snorunt gather under giant leaves and live together in harmony. In snowy regions, it is said that when they are seen late at night, snowfall will arrive by morning. Old folklore claims that a house visited by this Pokémon is sure to prosper for many generations to come.
Choro Notes: The best thing about Snorunt is in the 3d games they're perpetually shivering. When they're KO'd the fall over and roll like you would expect something cone-shaped to.
Zorak Notes: I am pretty sure there is legit nothing to say about snorunt. he is an un-evolved ice type with nothing remarkable about him!
HulkaMatt Notes: Aight let me tell you something about Snorunt that many people don't know. Snorunt is one of the BEST pokemon. It is the mother fucking coolest. I don't even know what the fuck it is but just LOOK AT IT. He jumps around like a mother fucker in the snow because he likes the snow. SNOW IS PRACTICALLY IN IT'S NAME. WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T LIKE SNOW? A mother fucker that's who.
Stupid Jorge. Wait until he sees what I've got waiting for him next time.
Choro Notes: Hey remember what I said about Dawn Stones?
Froslass
Froslass freezes foes with an icy breath nearly -60 degrees F. It is said to then secretly display and admire its prey. What seems to be its body is actually hollow. Legends in snowy regions say that a woman who was lost on an icy mountain was reborn as Froslass.
Choro Notes: I totally just made an Italian yuki-onna, that's kind of a sweet idea. This is oddly the first Ghost-type to get main party status in any of my threads. Similarly Viola is the first Bug-type. How strange.
Zorak Notes: Froslass is a yuki-onna and has a rather cool (hurrr) typing. She has the same point total as Glalie, but while Glalie was extremely even across the board, Froslass is speed-orientated. She has a fair amount of weaknesses and not many resistances for a ghost type, but who gives a shit? It's a fun design with some neat moves and THAT'S ABOUT ABOUT ALL THAT MATTERS.
HulkaMatt Notes: If you HAVE to evolve your snorunt because you are worried about something stupid like wahhhhh i won't win a battle with a first stage pokemon than Froslass is the way to go. Froslass is classy as FUCK and is all about manners and shit. She's also a ghost so like... I guess she doesn't eat much!
TEAM LADY. FULL POWER. HWOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Next time a gym fight suddenly!