Part 39: Basically the Surf Update but with Rock Climb
#36. Basically the Surf Update but with Rock Climb
Music: Diamond/Pearl - Route 206 (Anime Version)
Well my life will never be that exciting again, it's all downhill from here. Shame it had to happen at twelve, yup.
A ghost that's not a dragon. HOW MUNDANE.
Dusclops
Dusclops's body is completely hollow - there is nothing at all inside. It is said that its body is like a black hole. This Pokémon will absorb anything—however large the object may be—into its body, but nothing will ever come back out. It is said that those who look into its body are sucked into the void. It seeks drifting will-o'-the-wisps and sucks them into its empty body. What happens inside is a mystery. This Pokémon hypnotizes its foe by waving its hands in a macabre manner and by bringing its single eye to bear. The hypnotized foe is made to do Dusclops's bidding.
Choro Notes: Dusclops is weird because it's like, actually really fucking good but they gave it an evolution anyway. (Compare to Banette.) It's a goddamn tank and frankly they can go fuck themselves.
Zorak Notes: DUSCLOPS: primed and ready to grope the hell out of enemy pokemon. Gropiest fuckin hands.
HulkaMatt Notes: Dusclops. I dunno. She's alright. She's OK. She looks funny. I don't really like her design. I like Duskull better. SHE STINKS. Just kidding she's cool. She's also got some killer def. Is that good enough? She's a motherfucking cyclopean mummy what the FUCK do you want me to say? I dunno, I'm not v. good at this
Cheapsteaks named this
Where the hell did that stupid dragon dump us?
Oh. Wait was this always here?
Choro Notes: The Spring Path only opens up post E4 in Diamond/Pearl and post Spear Pillar in Platinum. It's literally blocked off by trees prior to it.
Huh, never went in here.
Music: Veilstone Game CornerChoro Notes: I'm not gonna lie, this is the only reason I came in here, the song is a remix of the Red/Blue Game Corner music.
Sure green-haired lady, we can fight.
Choro Notes: Interviewer Roxy So, uh, if this were Diamond and Pearl she would have thrown a Wooper out instead of a Gardevoir. Take special note of her name, hair color and what Pokémon she used in the original.
Still one of the best things ever and I'm still grateful for/astonished by it
Oh, also they nearly kick Lady's ass.
. . . . do I smell bacon?
Choro Notes: Snorlax's incense. It makes them produce Munchlax eggs instead of snorlax ones.
Abandoned team building huh? I bet I could convert it into a kickass clubhouse if I were some sort of loser who was into that sort of thing.
Oh hey, Saturn.
Good news, your boss is—
. . . I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Be! Aggressive! B-E Aggre—!
Huh, yeah I guess so.
"I just kinda wanted to see where he was goin' with it, you know. Gauge interest."
There's that Eterna City gym leader, Gardalina or whatever. She hates spirits.
You're kinda the boss now I guess since Toxicroak and Medicham hair disappeared! Congrats on inheriting a team of idiots!
. . . . I would love to see the ideas your guys come up with for new energy sources. Absolutely love it.
Also get a better CGI team for those commercials, that combee is terrifying
It is definitely a very good thing because you're not coming up with plans about stealing power from Venus to stop magnetism or some horrible thing.
That's shockingly poetic for a scientist.
Ever seen Persistence of Memory?
. . . . It's the painting with the melting clocks.
. . . . . . . clocks are things that tell you ti— you know what? You're all dumb and I'm glad we'll never meet again.
Back to the south!
Hmmm.
Choro Notes: These rock paths are almost invisible unless you look really closely.
Oh hey, Dream Eater. There was a thing on the news recently about Dream Eater. Something about a. . . duck?
Lotsa paths, which to take, hmm.
What's up guy, trying to look like a big man in front of the woman, huh? Startin' stuff with a lil' girl huh?
Bribery huh? You and me are alright chief.
That's. Wow.
Choro Notes: Coin Toss
It tosses a coin you fuckin' idiots why are you asking what coin toss does? Jesus Christ.
Choro Notes: Sun Stones
The sun stone can be used to evolve only
What's up here?
Parrots are up here!
Items up here!
Direly need to restore the ball stock.
See what Nevica can learn from the move tutor.
Choro Notes: Ominous Wind is an option, it's a special-class Ghost-type move. Wake-Up Slap is kind of weird, being physical but fighting-type. And I could always go for the Hail option, which activates her Snow Cloak and makes her Blizzard have perfect accuracy.
We don't do any of this though!
Keep on lookin' for Rock Climb points.
Ok, I honestly was not expecting someone to be up here.
Hey wanna see something wonderful?
Well this was boring, let's go to the route with the fog!
Music: Red/Blue - The Road to Cerulean City - From Mt. Moon (Anime version)
WOOO!
You look like Grandpa Munster. Has anyone ever told you that?
Choro Notes: You get a demo of what fog does because I didn't bring CtScorpula!
Those things are kinda gross. Always hungry, angry all the time. Kinda fat.
Hurf durf!
Laboratory in the basement!
Oh I know that one, Blackthorn City.
Pokémon of Sinnoh.
[>Hell yes
Oh what a rip.
Choro Notes: Draco Meteor
Draco Meteor is pretty much a big fuck you. It's overpowered as fuck. Like, 140 power. To put that in perspective, Hyper Beam is 150, here's the thing. Only dragons can get it. So you're guaranteed STAB unless you're using Arceus yes, I know. Stack that on the beefy offensive stats of dragons and it's a move that ends fights, sometimes in the same turn it starts them.
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinc!
Stop over here next to Celestic.
Jackpot.
You needed this so much Campana it's not even funny.
One more stop to make before heading to the Prof.
Yes, I know.
Choro Notes: This is actually pretty helpful if you don't know how types match up.
It's an in game type checker. NOT ONLY THAT, but you can check against combinations of types like this.
It shows specifically how effective a move will be, it's helpful!
[sub]Music: Prof. Rowan's Lab - Anime version #3
Yeah I survived. Thanks for the back up Lucas oh right you suck.
Hey imagine how I felt on that little otherworldly journey with a horrific beast of shadow and despair testing me all the while an autistic madman lurked in the darkness as a chansey in woman's clothing follows you like a horrible memory of mistakes made in days long past.
WELL HEY, I COULD HAVE HAD CRASHER WAKE UP THERE THROWING THINGS IN HEADLOCKS WHILE I WAS AWESOME. THERE IS NO DOWNSIDE TO THIS SITUATION.
LUCAS. SHUT UP.
Well great. Maybe I'll go see how they like being hit by things in the face.
. . . . . I'VE BEEN BETTER.
Bite me.
Man I'M GONNA.
Yeah but THEN what?
Shut up, Lucas.
Shut up, Lucas.
Here, look at them yourself. The stupid Pokédex decided to record THOSE ones despite me not fighting them for some stupid reason. SHUT UP, LUCAS.
God I'm gonna go beat up a thing.
HEY, YOU IN HERE?
YOU AND ME, LET'S THROW DOWN.
. . .
Please Professor don't do that, I've had enough . . .
Yes, you scared it off.
Save the Pokémon of the lakes or See the Pokémon of the lakes?
No I didn't, I only got data on Mesprit just now.
See?
"Ultimately it was a complete waste of time! Science is mostly lies, you see."
Oh I'm gonna, me and my hatetank of an ankylosaur.
track the Pokémon's movements."
Tch.
Man, I don't even wanna think about you right now.