Pokemon Platinum Part #40

Part 40: Catching Shit

Mesprit decided to run but I can still kick the other two's butt.

Heya Ux— DON'T LOOK AT ME.

_Music:Uxie - Azelf - Mesprit

Choro Notes: Uxie, Azelf & Mesprit
So, if you recall, Rowan tasked Lady with seeing everything native to Sinnoh. This includes Uxie, Azelf and Mesprit. Why the Pokédex didn't record them along with Palkia and Dialga I don't know but whatever. Mesprit flees and becomes a running legendary, but Azelf and Uxie fight like normal legendaries. As such, their capture rates are retardedly low. Like 3. Now you don't actually have to CAPTURE them. You can just kick their heads in, collect their "Hey you saw them data" and just come back in a week and try again. In Sinnoh, legendaries will return to allow another chance to capture them if you defeat them a week later. You can also run from them yourself and the same holds true.

_{Quick Balls work pretty well. A legit strategy is to just hurl Quick Balls the first couple turns then reset when they fail.}

_{Choro Notes: Dusk Balls work well, due to being inside of a cavern.}

Wait, is that all it takes to capture creatures of legend? Dang, this is easy.
_{Choro Notes: Ok, yeah. I was not expecting that.}

Uxie

_{Known as "The Being of Knowledge." According to some sources, this Pokémon provided people with the intelligence necessary to solve various problems. Uxie is said that it can wipe out the memory of those who see its eyes.

Choro Notes: Uxie's the defensive monster of the trio. He's kind of boring. All three faeries have a self-sacrifice move, Uxie's is Memento, which kills Uxie to. . . severely lower its target's stats. Lovely.

Zorak Notes:

HulkaMatt Notes: Boring. Next.}

I guess I shall continue referring to you as Uxie, Uxie. Good work.

Total Balls Used
Quick Ball x2
Dusk Ball x3

Doot doot doot

Oh hey the lake's better and not "Blown to hell and back."

vOv

Heya Azelf, yeah thanks for telling me which hole to push a rock into.

NOW WE FIGHT.

_{Choro Notes:}Azelf is probably the hardest one to capture, including Mesprit. The reason for this is he hits like a fucking tank.

This only makes it worse because now his sp.attack is double what it was at the start.

Well then.

_{Choro Notes: Future Sight is a move that doesn't hit for 3 or so turns. It's kind of annoying if you forget about it.}

_{This is another reason he's a pain in the ass. He's really hard to put to sleep because of Uproar so you need to rely on paralysis.

15 balls later!

It's honestly better to just reset and try again once you waste like 20 Dusk Balls. Azelf can't fucking touch Moaniki because of his typing so I just wear him down repeatedly. I'm sure you don't wanna see the next 45 minutes of resetting and throwing balls so let's just cut to the chase!}

Azelf

_{Known as "The Being of Willpower." It sleeps at the bottom of a lake to keep the world in balance. This Pokémon is said to have endowed humans with the determination needed to face any of life's difficulties. It is thought that Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf all came from the same egg.

Choro Notes: Azelf's the offensive one, he can hit like a fucking truck and is really the best of the three. His self-sacrifice move? Explosion. Azelf can explode.

Zorak Notes:

HulkaMatt Notes: He's blue. Next.}

Total Balls Used
Quick Ball x27
Dusk Ball x102

Let's get the hell out of here.

Oh hey I guess that blackout's been cleared up.

Commence new route protocol.

Oh hey, there are magnets out here.

_{Music: Sinnoh Wild Pokémon Battle - Anime version}

At least YOU didn't take an hour.

Magneton

_{Magneton is actually three Magnemite linked by magnetism. Magneton emits a powerful magnetic force that is fatal to electronics and precision instruments. Because of this, it is said that some towns warn people to keep this Pokémon inside a Poké Ball. It generates powerful radio waves that raise temperatures by 3.6 degrees F within a 3,300-foot radius. A cluster of Magneton can set off a magnetic storm. Many mysteriously appear when more sunspots dot the sun. The number of incidents of hackers using Magneton to damage computer systems is steadily increasing.

Choro Notes: Magneton are pretty cool guys I guess. Ruining electronics and killing people with pacemakers is their defining trait.

Zorak Notes: Magnezone is cooler. DEAL WITH IT MAGNETON.

HulkaMatt Notes: Hoooly shit. Check it out everybody. BAD ASS ELECTRIC POKEMON ALERT. These mother fuckers are 3 Magnemite PUT TOGETHER. So they're three times as awesome as Magnemite and Magnemite are pretty awesome. For some strange reason turns into a UFO. WHY? I don't know. Raise a fucking Magneton if you want an awesome Electric Pokemon.}

Oh hey, gee I bet you're an electric type! I'm a wonderful deducer.

Now to just trap you for eternity!

Oh. . . ok.

I see, Ultra ball too good for ya, huh?

. . . . I wonder why that worked.

Electabuzz

_{Electabuzz love to feed on strong electricity. Normally found near power plants, they can wander away and cause major blackouts in cities. Electricity runs across the surface of its body. In darkness, its entire body glows a whitish-blue. When a storm arrives, gangs of this Pokémon compete with each other to scale heights that are likely to be stricken by lightning bolts. Some towns use Electabuzz in place of lightning rods. When two Electabuzz touch, they control the electric currents to communicate their feelings. It windmills its arms to slightly boost its punches. Foes have been known to escape in the meantime.

Choro Notes: Electabuzz are cool guys that punch shit with electrified fists. This is everything else you need to know about Electabuzz.

Zorak Notes: Electabuzz was always pretty goddamn cool. Then they gave him a pre-evo and evolution because WHY NOT? Does make Electabuzz more of a transition point into the much stronger Electivire now, though.

HulkaMatt Notes: Electabuzz is the engine of RED HOT YELLOW 1963 CHEVROLET CORVETTE with BLACK STRIPES!!! You wanna walk around with STYLE you get yourself an ELECTABUZZ. Them mother fuckers are badass. They turn fluffy if you let them evolve though.}

_{Zorak named this}

Pelican, just a pelican. Living in a field full of electric guys, huh?

Huh. That's. . . unusual.

. . . This is the low point of my adventure.

Why is this not worki— Actually.

Pelipper

_{Pelipper is a flying transporter that carries small Pokémon and eggs inside its massive bill. This Pokémon builds its nest on steep cliffs facing the sea. Pelipper searches for food while in flight by skimming the wave tops. This Pokémon dips its large bill in the sea to scoop up food, then swallows everything in one big gulp. It bobs on the waves to rest its wings, resting on them on days when the waters are calm.

Choro Notes: The most annoying thing about Pelipper is that the wild ones love to just use Protect and Roost. There are wild pelipper whose only method of damaging things are with Stockpile/Spit Up. Other than that they can learn both Surf and Fly, soooo

Zorak Notes: He kind of sucks but I still love this bird. I used him when I first played Emerald ages back, didn't regret it a second. On the other hand, though, in RSE he was kind of the Zubat of the sea so uuugh.

HulkaMatt Notes: HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT BEAK CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE CHANSEY EGGS IT COULD FIT IN DAT MOUF

Zorak named this}

Hey, Crasher Wake uses one of you. Also Jorge to a lesser extent, though I bet that's just because of Crasher Wake.

Floatzel

_{Floatzel is a common sight around fishing ports. It is known to rescue people and carry off prey. Its flotation sac developed as a result of pursuing aquatic prey. With its flotation sac inflated, it can carry people on its back. It deflates the sac before it dives. It is known to assist in the rescue of drowning people.

Choro Notes: I'm not sure why it took this long to catch a Floatzel, I'm fairly sure they appear on an earlier route. Imagine the speed and face-biting tendency of an otter and the buoyancy of a life raft and you have Floatzel.

Zorak Notes: Crasher Wake uses one, which by extension makes it pretty goddamn cool.

HulkaMatt Notes: I don't really know what to say about Floatzel except they're SPEED STARS and I named mine after Pro Wrestler RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT. Crasher Wake is a pro wrestler, too

Good Listener named this}

What type of a person do you think I am? I've far more class than you, sir.

Oh.

Viola you are the best bug.

One electric lion.

I'm realizing I don't agree with high society as much as I thought I did.

Hmph.

You're a weird one, aren't you?

I've been known to throw batteries.

_{Choro Notes:}It's canonically possible to throw a bag of Pokémon shit at foes if you give them a bag of mulch to hold. I mean you could conceivably use this to hurl flame orbs but it's funnier just to throw sacks of manure.

She's made of swords and violins.

It's to be expected!

_{Choro Notes:}Later this happened!

_{Choro Notes: See this guy? You need to fight him unless you wanna take the stupid effort to find a Feebas. He's the only trainer in the game that uses one.}