Part 12: Prayer to God

PU-Route 8.ogg

If it's familiar it's because this is from Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles.

This route is a peaceful wheat field. The music lends it almost too much calm.


The game is not subtle about how fucked it's going to be soon.


There's a house with a free heal and a PC, thankfully.


It is hours with how bad this game's fishing mechanics are! *laugh track that melts into braying donkeys*


We get a new rod out of it though. This gates, like, nothing, since most of the waterways we've already seen will give us Forelogs and higher level Magikarp.


And this guy isn't available in any previous route.


For all the water-types I do end up using, this is almost quaint. An early stone evolution might make it worth it to you, if playing Uranium were "worth it".


Cornn berries have no direct function and exist exclusively to be cooked into things that increase contest stats. Uranium has nothing of the sort, rendering them pointless.


Route 8's grasses have Missy-D.

While they do get Hex at level 23, Misdreavus really wants Shadow Ball and it doesn't get it until level 41, and the TM is located at the point it should be level 41 anyway. A Mismagius without Shadow Ball is like a Medusa Head without a sine-wave flight path; just a decapitated head, you know?


Cottonee is here too. You already have the Giga Drain TM so pop that baby and evolve this stupid thing into Saci, if you want to. Prankster Stun Spore works as well here as it ever has (which is rather well).


Zapmander went from coughing bulb-butt dog to Guile hippocamp!

Electruxo is hardcore as fuck. It's resilient as fuck with 95/95/105 defenses, and its other stats are solid enough. Water/Electric is really good typing to have, too.

You may be asking why I stopped using him until he hit level 27, well, that's because he evolved at level 27. The Tandor starters only have one evolution, and they're supposed to make up for it by having Mega Evolutions down the line. What it does in practice is that Zapmander got really lame for a bit there then he went home became a family man and is now a huge badass.




The AI won't do what real players would and switch to a flying-type, so Dig is a pretty decent move for in-game. High power Ground moves are some things' job.


Tancoon's evolved form Tanscure is the official filler for npc trainers across the region. Thankfully it gives a real EXP reward.


Oh, hey, you're an infrequent random encounter here.


I refused to accept Righty.


Oh shit. Put on your fedoras, we're going there.

Well, we aren't, actually, it's just going to tiptoe awkwardly around this for no clear reason.



PU-VinovilleTown.ogg

This is a remix of Pallet Town. That's what you do with the place with the 4th gym, right? Homage starting towns?

Better than the 5th at least. Hoo boy.


It's "religious" in that NPCs speak like this, which sounds more like a cult, but that'd, like, make all this shit have a point.


The Pokemon Center is all the way in this corner, safely nestled away from things that would cause progress.




This game worked with 4th generation TMs but uses 6th generation mechanics, meaning Bullet Seed went from a shitty starting move to a legitimate physical grass move. Its average power is a hair below 80.

Between that and Dig, Deeznuts has those high-power physical STABs its been missing. Cocancer, statistically, is a brick shithouse. 90/120/115 defenses almost make you forget how bad grass/ground is defensively, 95 attack works well enough, and its speed and special attack blow.

Also it has special Halloween event sprites.




Back on route 8 is this lady.


Her name is Ripley because reference. What kind of reference?


Why, alie-


I was getting to that.


Anyway we're gonna help this lady with aliens because she has trouble keeping watch all night.


Did I mention it's a stealth mission?


You can't get in the line of sight of one of the li'l aliens. This is clearly what you should do when making RPG Maker XP straaaaaaain at being a Pokemon game.


It's not long or difficult, it's just... why.


Oh yeah, Boss Alien.


Unlike previous minibosses, this one is straight immune to capture. Steel/Psychic with Levitate pretty hard for most things to crack, but I have a secret weapon.


Dumbledore is immune to its psychic attacks and manages to land a burn with Fire Blast, and can sorta tank it with Drain Life anyway.


Afterwards, we reveal the culprit:


A nerd?!?!


OH FUCK WE JUST GOT BAZINGA'D


Sheldon is bored out of his mind as he's a turbo-nerd in a farming community because [???].


He's also the gym leader, so we're gonna have to big bang his theories.

Or something.


She just said "sigh".


At least she has one of the little aliens for us because... uh...


There's no chance to save between the S51-A and this, by the way. Uranium is usually better about this.


We bazoople the alien into the team.


Uuuuuunfortunately we're reaching the point where I slather on thick layers of bullshit so a mere defensively-gifted goober with a late evolution and no good STAB moves isn't gonna cut it.


Transition shot.


This is a reference to Village Bridge, a town in Black/White and their sequels that has a very simple background track at base but talking to certain NPCs adds more layers to the music.

It's far, far better than anything Uranium has in it.


Seriously this is kind of intense.


Why are these people only saying, like, incantations.

Is there a technical term for this, can any bishops comment (only bishops allowed)


There's a church and it has books, because the best way to worldbuild is text dumps a mile away from anything the text is about.

tl;dr my original characters blonic and blails, but w/r/t heatran


tl;dr our yin-yang pair of legendaries are kinda literal compared to Reshiram and Zekrom.

Surprise! There's two other text dumps! Because both tiles of each bookcase has its own!

tl;dr there's an asshole glowing in the bottom of the ocean

tl;dr our literal yin-yang created the universe

By the way, of the five legendary Pokemon in this, only two are actually fully implemented. The rest exist in the data but are in incomplete states.


Anyway, that's enough MYTH and WORLDBUILDING delivered via textwalls. Let's go bazinga some theories.