Part 2: Episode One: Just Another Day

So how have you been?

How have I been? You're just going to show up again a year later, totally out of the blue, and just casually ask how things are going?

No.

No?

I'm not going to do that. I already did it.

This is the part I didn't miss. You know that, right?

So there was a part you DID miss, eh?

Oh, for... fine. Things have been going fine. Really well, actually. The city is doing a lot better since we took down Bains. I've been seeing Marie all year. Everything is actually very good.

See, was that so hard? If things are going so well, what happened to your Caddy?

Well, uh...



Sonny, out of deference to the respect I have for you from the events of last year, and my own reverence for the rights of women and their centuries-long fight to gain equal footing in our social structure, I am NOT at this moment making a whip-cracking noise.

Thank you.

It is a struggle, let me tell you.

I bet.

But I am bearing it, nobly, for your sake and theirs.

Uh-huh.

I am history's greatest martyr.




Oh, hey! Full detective now, huh?

Yeah, they took me on permanently after the mayor gave me the key to the city. I guess they figured it was only fair.



Your smartass skills are improving. Most impressive, my young apprentice.

You know, I always got the impression that I was older than you.

Uh... hey, how about we get going? I'd love to see the station again. Now that you look less like an amorphous blue blob...

Oh, you noticed? Yeah, rising tax revenues let the city upgrade its resolution a few months back.

That's excellent. In fact, it's so cool I'm going to pretend what you just said makes sense.



Could you? That would be really helpful. Anyway, what have you been up to? What do disembodied voices do when they're not bothering protagonists?

Oh, this and that. I wouldn't worry about it. Mostly because I can't explain it to you and don't intend to try.



Hey, didn't you say last time that you'd be back when everything was terrible and we needed help again? So why are you here now, when things are going great?

I was just wondering the same thing. Let's hope we have some time before we find out, because I doubt you're going to like it.

Wonderful. Well, at least you managed to help me learn to worry again.



You know, you don't have to go over it in your head like that. You could just look at it like you used to.

I've got a lot of stuff to keep track of. Better for me to list it to keep it straight.



Again, out of respect for you I will forbear commenting on the keychain.

Thank you. I don't know how I could have survived your criticism of it.



You know who stores their money like this, Sonny? Hobos. Hobos and old people.

And there's the end of the respect.



Sorry, Sonny, but it's a finite resource. I've got to replenish my stock after all that respecting you I did earlier.

I suppose I should have expected that.



It is good to see you, though, Sonny. It's been too long.

Hey, you too. Come on, let me show you the station.



Entryway seems a little more cramped, but there are more rooms. Where to first?

My locker and then the shooting range. I... wait, what the hell is that thing?

What thing?

The little white arrow-looking thing.

Oh, don't worry about that. It'll be gone in a second. Just my new little helper.

...I see. Anyway, I need to work on my gun.



Don't you mean... your aim?

Nope.



I know what you're going to want me to do first.

Oh boy!



Just like old times.

Isn't it just. Alright, locker time.



S. Bonds, Esquire.

Huh. Can't seem to remember my combination. Can you help me with that?

What?

My locker combination. Just won't come to me for some reason.

You never forgot it before.

Tell me about it. But now... nothing.

Why would I even know it?

I just feel like you do. And we're not getting anywhere today without my gun, so...

Damn it. Okay, give me a minute.





Happy now?

Considering that now I can get into my locker and I couldn't before? Yes.



Hey, why do you have that poster up if you're seeing Marie?

Look closer.


That's nauseatingly cute.

Could you please get your little "friend" out of here? I don't like him hanging around the poster.

Oh, sorry.



I'm sure no information about this gun will come in handy at any point in the future.

Eh?

Don't worry about it.



Are you still obsessed with these things?

None of your business.

Wow, couldn't have telegraphed that one more if you tried, buddy. It's okay. I'm not judgmental.

...



Just joking, Sonny! Anyway, it's not like it's even physically possible for you to shoot me once, much less fourteen times.

Hey, a guy can dream. Now please look away for a minute.

What?

Just for a minute.

...fine, fine.



Are you done now?

Yep, all set.



So what's this about adjusting your gun?

You'll see.



Hey, who's that?




I'll introduce you later. Come on, I want to get to the range.

Alright, alright.



Nice. I don't remember anything like this at the old place.

Nah, we used to use a place downtown. This is much nicer.



Ear protectors, Ken.



Gets loud in there?

Doesn't seem like it right away, but you can do yourself some serious damage if you don't wear protection.

That what sh... ahem. Right, you are still armed.



Yeah. Yeah, I am. Let me show you how this works.



First, we put these on our ears.



Then I fire my gun at the target's center of mass.

What, you aren't going for the headshot?

With a handgun, in a confused situation, the last thing you w-

I was joking! Joking! Spare me the lecture this time. I want to see you shoot more stuff.

Well, before I do that, let's see how I did.



That's weird. You were pointing right at the middle.

I sure was. But my gun is pulling to the left. See the blue spot over on the arm? That's where my bullets went.

Huh. So what now?



I'll adjust it, of course.

...Sonny, you did not just whip out a screwdriver, crack open your gun, and start messing with shit in there.



Sure, I did. Why not?

Don't you have... like, mechanics or something who can do this for you?

If you can't take care of your weapon yourself, you don't deserve to have one.



I never saw you doing this stuff before.

That's because I didn't happen to do it while you were watching me. It's not something you need to do every day, you know. Although you do need to clean it, and...



Got it! Right! I wasn't watching. Shoot the target some more.

Alright.



A little better, but not quite there yet.



I hope you understand exactly how exhilarating this is, Sonny.

Isn't it, though? The smell of the oil and the sight of all the little machine parts snapping together just so...

Uh... yeah. That's... real good, Sonny. I think you twisted that screwdriver enough now. Let's try it again.



Much better.

Oh, good, because I-

But I can beat it! More winching!



Oh, lord, please let this end soon.



Now there's a sight with proper alignment.

Great, wonderful, you can now slaughter your enemies wholesale. How about we get out of here?

Sure. Need to see what's going on in the office anyway.



Thanks, Ken. Could I get a new clip to replace the one I just used, too.



You're the best, Ken.

I think I actually need a breather, Sonny.



What's that? Are you sure?

Yeah, just for a few minutes. I'll be back soon to see your new office. Can't wait!


Next time on Police Quest: Mugged in Memory Lane

I didn't miss that part either.