Part 9: Episode Six: A Night Out

Dispatch comes on the air and responds... "53mary2... 10-4. Dispatch copies 10-8 from Lytton Airport."

Dispatch... 53mary2. Be advised we are enroute to the office.

Dispatch answers... "53mary2... 10-4. We copy you are enroute to the office."



Yeah. It always seems like we're about to catch him, and then he slips through our fingers.

It feels like we've been chasing him for months.

I know. But it's only been a few hours.

Dispatch... 53Mary2 10-7 at the office.

Dispatch responds... "53mary2... 10-4. Dispatch copies 10-97 the office."



Gee, I wonder why that might be.

Starts with an S, rhymes with provoking?

Too many syllables. You might have tried "poking" or "joking".

So, what, you're a poet now? Provoking works better because that's what his smoking is.



Well, uh... I'll see you inside, Sonny. You... have fun talking to yourself.

Oh, great, now look what you've done.

Look at the bright side. Maybe he won't talk to you as much from now on.



What's this little window for?

Dropping off all this evidence we've been hauling around. Maybe the lab can make something of it.



He doesn't really look all that big. Why do you call him that?

You know, nobody will tell me? They just snicker and change the subject.

Ooooooh.



Getting shot at and crossing the street safely is LIKE progress, right?

Some, John. We've got some deposits to make.




Making notations, John mumbles under his breath, "Request identification of prints on enclosed fingerprint tape, found in deceased jailer's car."

Making notations, John mumbles under his breath, "Request identification of prints on enclosed fingerprint tape, found in stolen car, at Lytton Airport."

You hand Big John the make-shift 'knife' and request fingerprints, pointing out that it was found underwater.

You hand the plaster cast footprints to John and request they be checked for size and any unusual marks.

You submit the bullets from the glovebox of the jailer's car. You request fingerprint and identification analysis.

You give the empty holster to Big John, who examines it briefly, and then says, "One holster taken from stolen car."

You turn in the jail clothes and request analysis on the blood spots.

You turn in the badge you found at the bottom of Clearwater River.

You hand John the blood sample that you got from Cotton Cove. You ask Big John for identification analysis.

"I hope you nail Bains soon," says Big John.

So, do your pants feel lighter now?

My... pants?

I assume that's where you were storing all that stuff. I don't see any bags or anything.

...

No? So where was it?

...



What, the silent treatment now? Oh, fine, fine.

I'm going to go catch up on my paperwork. You know, like a professional. The kind that doesn't stuff fingerprint tape down his pants.



Ooooh, maybe it's from Marriiiiiiieeeee!

Oh, grow up.



Oh, wow, I was just yanking your chain.

Guess I should call her, after I finish this paperwork.



...paperwork.

But I have to... I'm not going to win this one, am I?

Nope!

Alright, fine, I'll just call her right now.



What is that thing doing here?

Trying to help you dial. Shoo, Pointy. So how did you know what number to dial?

Well, we have been dating for months. It would be a little weird if I had to call 411 for it.

I suppose that's true.




Don't you mean "Precious"? How will she know you if you don't use your special name?



I thought I was going to have to wait for you to finish your paperwork again.

Well, you know... sometimes... my duties... and...

You're so cute when you stutter. When you get off work, meet me at Arnie's, OK?




Bye, Marie. See you soon.

Byyyyeeee, Precious! Kissy kissy kissy!



Now, listen, you...

Aw, come on, you have to admit it's a little ridiculous.

What?

I bet you're going to do some huge PDA later, too. I just know it.

We might not!

Uh-huh. We'll see.



Yes, sir!

is it... night-time now? The same people are all here.



Crime never sleeps.

Well, no, as an abstract concept, I suppose it would be incapable of sl...

Just... stop. I'm going to check out and go see Marie.



The door is the other way.

Just returning the keys.

Oh, right. I suppose you'll want to take your crappy personal car rather than your crappy detective car.

That car has the best gas mileage of any car in...

Oh, god, no. Okay. I'm sorry. I take it back. You have a wonderful car.



Not if I see you first, buddy!

Ha-ha!

Ha-ha!

Ha-ha!

Seriously, Keith, you're a bad cop and everyone hates you.



Before you go, Sonny, can you do me one favor?

Marie's waiting for me at the diner...

It'll just take a second. After all the things I've done to... for you, can't you find it in your heart to give me one thing?

Now I know I'm going to regret this. Okay, what do you want?

Well...



Oh, God, I'm regretting it.



Regretting it so much!

Yeah, that's the stuff. Thank you. Go ahead on your date now.



I don't remember Arnie's. What about that other place you used to go, with the bad coffee?

That's not exactly a place you take your girlfriend.

Yeah, but I'm surprised YOU know that.

Well, I have picked up a few things over the past few months.



Didn't like it, huh?

Nope.



That does bring up an issue I've been thinking about, Sonny.

Oh?

It's not just your cases I can help you with. Maybe I can give you some advice in other areas as well?

Wait, let me guess. You, a self-proclaimed expert on women, offer to give me tips to impress my date. Impressed by you having been right about a couple of trivial items, I agree to do whatever insane things you say. Over the course of the evening, I manage to offend her so badly that she refuses to speak to me, and I have to engage in a series of wacky hijinks in a misguided attempt to regain her affection.

Yeah, that was basically the idea.

How about we just skip to the part where I have an epiphany about how she loves me for who I am already and we all learn an important lesson?



You really have learned a few things.

Well, that and when you're on third shift you end up watching a lot of daytime TV.



The waiter isn't even going to seat you? Well, at least it's still higher-class than Denny's.



Looks like they're short-handed tonight. No cashier, even. It's not like I can't see Marie anyway.



Hi, Marie. Sorry if I kept you waiting.




It's good to see you too. You would not believe the day I've had.

I heard about some of that, I think. The officer who took my call told me you were out chasing Jesse Bains again.



I know that Jessie Bains is looking for revenge. I know he's out to get even, especially with you.

Well, so far he's just spent a lot of time running away from me. I've got someone watching my back, just in case.

Keith? I'm not sure how much help that's going to be.

Uh... yeah. Keith is better in a crisis than he seems.

Smooth.

What was that?

Nothing, sweetie.



Sure thing. It's not like I'm going to turn down an excuse to see you anyway.

Thanks, Sonny. I don't want to think about what would happen if you got hurt.

I think you'd make out okay.

I'm not so sure. Things weren't really going so well for me before I met you.



That's not massively unhealthy or anything.

There it is again? What is that?

Nothing you should worry about.

Sonny... are you having... protagonist problems again?

Well...

You don't have to be embarrassed about it. It happens to a lot of guys.

Hahahahaha!

OH LOOK HERE'S THE WAITER




Oh, man, tell me you are not seriously considering the meatloaf.

I'll have the m... prime rib.



Sorry about that. He's probably going to be a bad boy and beg for table scraps. I don't know why he does that. It's not like he even has a mouth.

...
... I'll have the lobster.



So, what were we talking about?

I was just saying how lovely you look this evening. Oh, and I brought this for you.

I bet you would have picked up the potted plant if it weren't for me.




Oh, God dammit, you guys. I knew this was going to happen. Can you please give it a rest? For five minutes? I swear, every time you're in the same place you have to slobber all over each other. I'm sure Purple-Jacket Beethoven and the lady in the dress made out of ice don't need to see that... you're not even listening to me anymore, are you? Fine, I'll just look around the place until you're finished.



Much better.



I really like it. It's my favorite. It's so PINK!

One day I will do something terrible to you for forcing me to endure this date, Sonny Bonds. Mark my words.

Hey, I've got an idea. Let's kiss again for no reason whatsoever!

No objections here.



Oh, for fuck's sake.




What is that thing?



I'll explain later. Just don't give it any of your lobster.



I'm glad you suggested this place. The food here is really good.



That thing is still there. I think it's watching us.



Seriously, don't worry about it. How's the lobster?

Pretty good, actually.

Alright, Pointy, that's enough. I'll give you some kibble later only you won't actually eat it because you're an interface abstraction.

Oh, there it goes.

And we're done eating. Oh, waiter...




Ah, so you do know how to lie.

So, shall I escort you home, ma'am?

Why, officer, that would be delightful.

I bet you're going to visit her house and just play Monopoly for six hours or something.

No, not so much.

I think we have better things to do.

Oh lord, tell me I am not going to have to watch this part too.

You had better not. Good night!

But it's still daytime!



Oh, thank God, a summary screen.


Next time on Police Quest: The Title... Explained!

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What, no snide remark?

...

...

Dammit, Sonny. This part just isn't any fun without you.

...

...

Wait a minute. You never put your handcuffs back in your locker.

Agh!