Part 6: The Damnedest Thing in the Whole Series
Chapter 6: The Damnedest Thing in the Whole Series
QfG1 Manual posted:
What is a Monster?
Razer of rulers, annihilator of adventurers, bane of insurance salesmen;
monsters come in many colors, shapes and sizes. The best way to determine
whether a creature is indeed a monster is to observe it carefully in its
natural habitat. Here are some warning signs that could indicate a tendency
to being a monster:
1) Oozes green ichor that shrivels plants, corrodes metal, and smells like
rotten turnips
2) Eats people with its mouth full
3) Collects half-eaten corpses
4) Drools, gibbers and slavers
5) Attacks first and asks questions later
6) Twitches its tentacles in anticipation of torturing tourists
7) Will not eat his spinach.
Of course, this makes it difficult to tell a monster from your average
adventurer. An easy rule of thumb is this -- if a creature attacks, kill it
-- and call it a monster afterwards.
Directions: two screens south and three west from the town entrance, or two west and three south from the centaur farm (don’t worry, we haven’t gone there yet). Also note that the stag will appear in the next two screens to the west as well.
Hey, a white stag! I bet the butcher would give me a ton of money if I brought this guy in!
Nuts, he ran off. Oh well, I bet he’ll show up later.Another thing that’s less obvious in the mouse-driven VGA game is that you can collect thrown daggers; you need to go to the “pick up items” screen in your inventory, and there they’ll be.
Directions: directly south from the white stag screen, or 2S3W1S from the town and 2W4S from the farm.
… What the hell is that? Are those red things eyes? Is that long thing his stomach? Why is it bouncing? What Evil has Man wrought? And is there anything behind it?
Oof! Hey! That’s it; you’re going down, antwerp!
*Cockily, you loosen up to fight. Confident and loose, you approach the antwerp.*
Man, that thing can bounce when it wants to! I can’t even see it anymore. Oh well, no big loss, I suppose. Well, since it was just guarding rocks after all, I suppose I’ll just leave.
Clever girl.
But wait! That doesn’t have to be the end. Secretly, it turns out that you are fully able to act while the antwerp is falling, and if you should happen to pull out a sharp object before it lands on you…
And that’s how they reproduce. Also note that defeating the antwerp has no bearing on the score.
…Well, at least I won. That’s what’s important, I guess.
Directions: Just follow the only other path from the antwerp’s hangout to reach this screen.
*You have a VERY bad feeling about this place.*
Um, hi, guys. I guess I’ll just be turning around now. Don’t worry, I won’t be telling anybody about the location of the secret bandit headquarters, now.
Aw, crap.
Welcome to the battle screen, complete with its own music. The controls are actually quite simple: slash (slow, more damage), stab (fast, less damage), and while the lower two buttons would mean “block” and “dodge” if Nike had a shield, they instead mean “dodge left” and “dodge right.” There’s a separate menu for casting spells, but I’ll wait until he has spells to cast first.
Stop blocking, you tanking asshole!
It works, doesn’t it? Now shut up so I can kill you!
Hey, I get the trick now! I’ve just got to wait until you’re about to attack, then stab! Now die, and take your horrible fashion sense with you!
To die, to sleep—To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.
Oh wait. I mean, aah! My spleen!
Well, we’ve hit a very special milestone today: Nike has killed his very first living creature. And it was a human, too; bonus! His list of the slain will only grow from here, but an adventurer never forgets his first.