Part 113: The Rite of Valor

Chapter 20: The Rite of Valor


Evening, Mobius.
Dr. Mobius. Shouldn’t you be off getting killed by a Hydra or something?
I’m working on it. How’s Gort doing?
Gort is doing perfectly well. The real trick isn’t killing the Hydra; it’s finding a way to get to its island when no boat will go near it. Fortunately, Gort has his own special ways of getting around. He won’t let a little thing like a sea get in his way.
What, really? Gort can just walk along the bottom?
He is quite able to survive on hydrogen hydroxide. You should never underestimate the power of science. With science, man can conquer the land, the oceans, even the sky. A few feathers, a little wax, and the scientist becomes a bird. You, on the other hand, are at best a stuffed pheasant.
I wanted to ask about that. Is it okay if I mess around with your display here? I kind of need it to get to Hydra Island.
You mean to fly with it? Hah! Like as not you’d let the wax on your wings melt like Icarus did, and fall into the sea. He didn’t even think to tie the feathers together. A scientist always makes a backup.
But do you mind if I use it anyway?
Well, you have proven some knowledge of science with that excellent pizza you brought in before. Very well, but the scientist of the Academy are not responsible for any injuries or deaths derived from acting irresponsibly with the wings.
Fair enough.


First you apply the wax from the Dragon Pillar earlier, then the Pegasus feathers. Messing around with the wings is why you needed to give pizza to the scientists. They won’t let you touch them until they’ve been placated, although you only need permission from the one who’s there.


Looking good. Now I can—
What, are you honestly intending to go out now? After dark?
Yeah, this way the sun can’t—
You complete buffoon! You also wouldn’t be able to see anywhere you intend to go! Better to rest for now and try your ridiculous attempt in the morning.
Alright, if you say so.


Evening Arestes. Haven’t been down here in a while. How goes the guild contest?
It be over now. We’ll announce the winner in a while from now. Got to give those out fer the bird the chance ta get back, after all.
Makes sense.
So I hear the killer got Ugarte. Lucky fer the little snitch ya happened ta be near. There’s word he’d be dead but fer you. Ugarte might been a rat, but he was a bloody mite better than some rats I could name.
Yeah. Well, the healers are keeping him alive for now, but it’s still pretty touch and go. Did I mention I saw the guy who did it?
Oh? I gots an opinion o’ who it might be, but who’s yer assassin?
Do you remember the guy dressed all in black, with the hood over his face all the time? Comes in here now and then? He’s the one.
The guy with the daggers? That slimy shark. I’m no snitch like Ugarte, and a sailor hates rats, but that one deserves none of my support. He calls himself “B” and is bettin’ ta be chief here. If he makes it, I’m not fer stickin’ around.
“B?” Not much to go on. There was one other thing that bothered me about that night, though. When he threw his dagger, it didn’t arc at all. In spite of being on the other side of the cliff, his dagger went straight across to Ugarte, a good 50-60 feet.
That’s a long way ta throw a dagger and not see it drop. There’s magic involved some way, mark me words. I heard rumors that wizards can magic a dagger so that it’ll always hit its target. Might only be sea shanties, but that’s what I think.
That can’t be true, since the assassin missed me when he had the chance. Or did he? But why wouldn’t he want to kill me then? I’ll have to think about this.
Aye, you do that. And keep yer eyes peeled. The next dagger might be fer you.


Ah, a good rest. And now I can—


MY EYES.
Hi, cutie pie. How do you like the inn’s new look? Isn’t the inn-terior beautiful? It’s just as I always wanted it to be—home, sweet gnome.


Ann…colors…why?
I’m really proud of this place. I picked out the colors myself! Paint it grand? I chalk it all up to hue. And Wolfie is just a-okay, nein? A real top dog painter and plaid to the bone.
I…I see what you’ve done with the place. In fact, I’m not sure I’ll ever not see it.
Oh yeah, and talk about flower power! I didn’t be-leaf you at first, but you ex-seeded my expectations. You’re a blossom bud-dy and my he-rose. I’d love to plant my tulips on yours.
The puns…the puns…
With all those flowers growing outside, the place looks positively blooming, Dale. It has to be seed to be be-leafed. The magic worked just vine, and it all stems from you.
Ugh. Oh yeah, I talked with Ferrari last night, and he’ll hold off on collecting for now.
Well, thanks. I’d hate to lose this place to such a scum. I trust Ferrari about as far as I can owe him. Leave him a loan, and he’ll take my home.
Great. I’ll go talk to Wolfie now.
I’ll miss you.
What?
Nothing.


It is very good to be seeing you again! Thank you very much for getting me this job.
Well, I’m apparently pretty good at arranging obvious matches. Now please, please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with these colors.
They are very interesting, are they not? Gnome Ann picked out all the colors, as I am mostly colorblind, which is very unfortunate for being a painter, so I merely pained as she said. I am happy to have pleased her so. It was very much fun, although it was very much hard work, too. I am tired as the proverbial dog.
You think the place looks better now?
I am imagining this is a very nice place to be staying, although I do not think it is very peaceful. I do not think I would want to be eating here very much, either.
You and me both. I think I’ll go take off now. I’ve got a plan to enact today.
Good luck on your adventures. It would be very nice if you were to become king here. I have never painted for a king before.


…Wow. At least it stands out more now. It looks a bit more clear that this is a gnome’s home.


And now…


Holy shit I’m not dead.


Sadly, you can’t control the hero’s direction for this sequence.


He just flaps his arms while you watch him waver across the ocean.


Then you start to get really worried.


Before he finally lands safely. Only one place to go from here.


The Hydra’s nest. Oh, and do you see that glowing pile of sap on the right there?


You absolutely need some. So if you don’t have a spare amphora before you use the wings, you’re proper fucked for finishing the game.


Well, that looks inviting. So how the hell do I do this?


Elsa?
The one and only. I got here by Minos’s ship. We had to battle some more sea people to do so.
Man, I am glad to see you.
I have no doubt. Misery loves company, ja?
Well, we’re both here now. You want we should take the Hydra on together?
I would be willing to do so. Which would you prefer, to fight or to fire?


There are two roles to play in this combat: attacking the Hydra and burning the stumps. While wizards get stuck with burning duty and fighters/paladins have to play the hydra killer, thieves get to pick which one they want to go with.

What, are you kidding? I’ve got my torch here already and everything. You go ahead and try and chop off its heads.
Very well. Just be ready for when the heads come off.


In this battle, Elsa is basically invincible. When she gets too damaged, she will retreat and drink a healing potion. And for added insurance, she can only take damage down to a specific amount.


You’re doing great!



Oh, crap. Gotta get out of the way here.


That’s better. You got him on the ropes now, Elsa!


Burn, baby!


Kick his ass!
Stop trying to encourage me!




Yeah! That sucker burned good!
He did. That was a good battle. We have certainly proved our worth here.
Well, you did, anyway. I just set fire to the stumps.
The Hydra could not be defeated without us working together. Perhaps it is teamwork that this Rite is about.
Yeah. I don’t think it’s about stopping a grand, ancient evil, after all.
It was a vicious thing, but it stays on its island. It didn’t even bother leaving its cave here. It certainly wasn’t a great threat to Silmaria.
No, not like the assassin. Say, I didn’t see you after the Rite was announced. Did you know he struck again? He almost killed my friend, Rakeesh, and now he’s in a coma. Did you ever get the chance to meet him?
I have spoken with him on occasion, actually. I know how close you were with him. I’m glad to hear that he avoided death, but I’m sure this must be painful for you.
Well, thanks for that. Oh yeah, I also got this sword for you. I figured you could use it.
The Ice Diamond sword? I saw it in Pholus’s stock, but I couldn’t afford it. And you’re just giving this to me?
I got plenty of money. It’s nothing, really.
Thanks. I can assure you I will put this to good use. Why did you wait until after I fought the Hydra, though?
This is the first I’ve seen of you since I got it, and you started fighting it before I could get it to you.
Sorry, I can be a little eager. I have no doubt it will be useful in future Rites. You have been extremely generous, you know? You have shown me more than enough kindness. I don’t need you to give me anything, but it’s nice that you have.
Like I said, no trouble at all. Now, what about the Hydra? The notice said we need the teeth to prove the deed.
Hmm. Well, since you say you barely did anything, why don’t you get in there and dig out his teeth?
Ew. Oh, fine.


Ew. Ew. Ew.

Alright. Got ‘em. Also grabbed some scales for good measure. So now what?
Now we have to decide who gets the teeth to prove our victory.
Can’t we both take some and call it a tie?
I don’t think so. Only one of us can rule Silmaria, after all.
Unless we got married, of course. Then we could both rule together.
…
What? …I’m just joking around.
Right, of course. So who gets the teeth?
I think you should have them. You’re the one who spent all that time trying to kill it; I just made sure it stuck.
Really? I honestly didn’t expect you to just give them up like that. Thank you.

As far as marrying her goes, I don’t think giving her the teeth is actually required. It certainly doesn’t hurt, though. And neither does giving her the Ice sword, for that matter. It will come in handy later.

Still, the Hydra is a dragon. Let’s look inside its cave in case it has more treasure.


Looks mostly barren to me.
But the cave is large. We should explore it thoroughly.
Right. So how are you feeling?
I feel like I could use a long bath and a chance to relax.
So…you think a kiss could make you feel better?
Are you kidding? We’re both filthy and tired from fighting that disgusting thing. Maybe later, though, after the Rites are over, we can relax together.
Wait, so you’re not saying no?
I’m saying not now. Later…well, we’ll see.


Oh, hey, a pile of cash.
And look here!


Ah, wonderful! I knew there was something in this cave worthwhile. This magic bow will be all the reward I need. Oh, and that lovely sword. And the teeth. Thanks again for that, and goodbye. I will return to Silmaria. It has been interesting working with you. I will see you at the Hall of Kings.



I wonder why she left that pile of cash behind? Oh well, more for me.


Ooh, and a magic helm, too. That ought to be worth something.


Aha, here we go! Don’t know why the Hydra would bother putting a giant chest in its cave, but whatever.

This is one of the few places where all four classes can encounter a trap. The thief is right at home here, disabling it as usual, while the old combo of Trigger/Open still works, and the fighter/paladin technique of “getting exploded and shrugging” can also deal with this trap.


Ah, money, my favorite. 2000 drachmas, a new spell, some magic chain, and…extra rope. Well, they can’t all be winners.


The new spell is Shrink. Effective, yet silly. Sadly, you can’t simply Duke Stomp the shrunken enemies. They merely become shorter and far, far less damaging.


I got those scales you were asking about before.
Sweet. Hey man, you know that chocolate you brought us? It was really wigged out stuff.
You found out what it was?
I am very puzzled by this drug. It’s almost more a disease than a poison.
That drug was really wild. It was sort of like a bunch of super itty bitty bugs and nasty, non-organically grown chemicals that combine for a totally bad one-way trip. Do you know what kind of a guy would ruin tasty chocolates by drugging them? Probably the kind of person who outlaws flowers because they make people smile, or thinks no one should eat candy because it’s bad for the teeth.
What about someone who freezes feelings?
Yeah, man, that’d be totally uncool too. Come back and tell us if you ever figure out who’s giving these things out.


Whenever you lose a Rite, you find out when a guard knocks on your bedroom door and summons you to the Hall. Elsa doesn’t waste any time after the Rite of Valor, so this happens the moment you go to sleep in the inn after you get back from the Hydra.


The Hydra has been defeated. The fire and poison of its many heads has ceased. Here stands the one who faced the death and destruction of this foul creature. Here stands the woman of courage who is now victorious. Here stands Elsa von Spielburg!
I am not the only one who faced the Hydra. Nike von Slartibartfast fought at my side. Without him, the Hydra would never have been defeated.
Honesty and righteousness are a ruler’s virtues, too, Elsa of Spielburg. You have earned this victory. So, too, shall stand Prince Nike of Shapeir. He has faced the mouth of death with courage. Thus ends the Rite of Valor.

*You are dismissed to rest up for the next Rite. You then return to the Hall of Kings.*


The Hydra is dead, and the terror it has brought has ended. A ruler must be willing to face danger for his kingdom. A brave man can face death without flinching. There are things, though, that even a brave man fears to face. You shall go to the island of Delos. Seek out the Sybil there, the prophetess who sees the web of fate. Speak with her, and confront your future. Return with proof that you have faced yourself.
This is sheer superstitious nonsense! We shall not participate in such poppycock. Sybils who see the future, hah. Gort is a product of rational science and has no time for some soothsaying swindler’s lies.
Nevertheless, this is the Rite of Destiny. Go forth, and face your fate.

*You are escorted by guards through the corridors of the Hall of Kings, and eventually led out of the gate.*


Prophecies again? Fuck destiny.