Part 14: They Should Start an Act Together

Chapter 13: They Should Start an Act Together


The Weapon Master is nowhere to be found today, so I’ll be back later to fully explore the castle grounds. Until then, Nike’s got an agenda.

Well, old man, it seems that I must talk to you after all. But this time …will be different!


Hello down there! We didn’t have the chance to talk yesterday when you went to see the baron.
I guess. Why?
Well, it gets lonely up here on the battlements by myself.
Lonely? Shouldn’t there be dozens of guards around?
Sadly, there aren’t. Most of them got killed back when the baron tried to drive Baba Yaga out of the valley, and he never bothered to have them replaced.
Wait, so you were around for that? The baron didn’t go into many details.
Oh, it was a long time ago. After the baron tried to get her to leave the first time, she responded by cursing the graveyard so that the dead could not rest. Then the baron sent the Baronial Guard, and things went downhill.
What happened? What happened??
The captain of the guard was the only one to return alive, but he wasn’t his usual self. He walked jerkily into the center of the courtyard, then spoke the words, “Hear me, oh mighty Baron. Thou hast angered me, and thus you are cursed. All that you value shall you lose; all that you treasure shall be taken from you.” The captain then dissolved into a pool of sticky blackness.
Ew. So then Elsa and Barnard disappeared?
Well, around ten years ago the baron’s daughter was stolen away by magic. The Baronet was lost only five years ago, until you found him, of course. They were both clearly part of Baba Yaga’s curse, though.
I don’t know about Barnard, myself. _{Seems more like his own snobbishness got him cursed. It’d explain why he wasn’t “treasured,” too.} So what did happen with Elsa, anyway? All I heard about it was from Wolfgang, and he wasn’t too specific.
Ah, Elsa von Spielburg was a lovely young child with braided blond hair and bright blue eyes like her mother’s. Ten years ago, a large winged creature flew over the castle walls, grabbed Elsa, and vanished before the guards could fire upon it. We searched everywhere for her, but to no avail. Oh, she must be a fine lass of eighteen by now, wherever she is.
Well, don’t worry, because I will be certain to get her back. You just wait.



You aren’t going to stop me this time, gargoyle! Name: Nike von Slartibartfast; quest: to be a Hero; the meaning of life: 42!
NICE TRY, KID, BUT THE THIRD QUESTION’S DIFFERENT AGAIN. WHO PLACED THE AURA AROUND THE TOWN?
Ha! Aha! I know this one now! Erana, the same person who put a Calm spell in the meadow in the north!
YEAH, YOU GO AHEAD AND DO YOUR DANCE FOR GETTING A QUESTION RIGHT. NOW GET UP TO THE TOWER; THE WIZARD IS EXPECTING YOU.


_{And why does everyone keep calling me “kid?” I’m twenty three!}


Ah, so nice to see you again, Nike. Tell me—
No, I don’t have Dazzle.
Oh, right, terribly sorry about that. It was just so amusing to see you trying so hard to get past the gargoyle that I couldn’t help myself.
You sound like a girl when you whine, by the way.
Thanks…for that.
Anyway, the reason I was asking about spells earlier is that I wanted to know if you wanted to play a game of Mage’s Maze with me? I’ll teach you Dazzle if you win.
Huh. Alright.
Wonderful!



This game could be considered an extension of Sierra’s love of minigames. Your goal is to get the little blue flame to the bottom of the maze before Erasmus is able to do the same with his purple flame. As you can see, there are several branching paths available, but I usually find that the path along the left that curves to the right is good enough to win. The various symbols along the bottom activate different spells and abilities; the potion represents your current magic points, and clicking on it causes you to drink a power potion. The hand represents Fetch, which allows you to move bridges to cover gaps and ladders to span cliffs (don’t worry, they change form to match the location). Open causes the rocks blocking tunnels to move away from the selected location, thus potentially sabotaging your opponent even as you move ahead. Clicking on the blue flame at the bottom casts Trigger, which changes the size of your flame between tiny, medium, and large. Only medium flames can climb ladders, and only tiny flames can pass through tunnels. Also, if the two flames meet, they do battle, so you’ll want yours as big as possible if that happens. Flame Dart sets a flame, which both creatures will be attracted to if they are close enough. Finally, the candle in the corner (currently unlit) shows you if you have a spell active or not. Also, flames destroyed for any reason reset to their starting location.


This here is the path I always take. As you can see, it requires four bridges, one ladder, and three rocks moved. I won in this instance primarily because I Fetched a ladder that Erasmus’ creature was on at the time, which ended up resetting his position.


Well, you seem to have beginner’s luck. It only took you one game to win. Hmph. It usually takes at least 500 tries for anyone less than a full Wizard to defeat me.


You’ll still teach me Dazzle, though, right?
Oh yes, fair’s fair. It’s so nice to get a new opponent, you know? Fenrus is no fun to play against these days.
That’s because I keep winning.
I still say you’re cheating somehow.
Why do you have Fenrus, anyway?
Erasmus is my Familiar.
Isn’t that the other way around?
Familiar is my Erasmus? Well, I’ve always found Erasmus to be overly familiar…
No! I mean, aren’t you MY familiar?
Oh, poor Erasmus. All these years and you still don’t know.
You’d best just ignore him. He gets like this sometimes.
Hey, for a rat, I’m a really great guy!
Although for such a great guy, you’re really a rat. I’m sorry, did you want to ask me anything?
What? Oh yes, I wanted to ask you about magic. The baron said you could help with that.
Ah yes, “If Magic be the lute of love, play on!”
The quote was “Music,” not “Magic!” And it was “food,” not “lute.”
How about, “Magic makes the world go ‘round?”
Money makes the world go ‘round!
Very well, then. To put it in my own words: “Magic is the essence and the soul of life, and the Wizard is her poet.”
Actually, it was Merlin who said that first, but he used the term “Magician,” not “Wizard.”
Fenrus, there are times when you would look better as a newt!
Why is that?
Because newts can’t talk!
Neither can most rats.
Hmph. Well, Nike, let me just say that it’s a good idea for a fellow like yourself to ignore anyone who wears as silly a hat as that one.
…So. Magic. Your gargoyle didn’t seem to have much of an opinion of Zara.
Zara does have a real flair for the theatric; her entrance at the magic shop is a bit showy, but effective. It’s just a shame that she doesn’t have a sense of humor.
Just because she doesn’t laugh at your jokes doesn’t mean that she lacks a sense of humor. It just means that she has good taste.
Is there anything else you wanted to know about her?
Not particularly. How about that Erana woman I keep hearing about?
Oh, I never met her; I only picked up the lease to Zauberberg a century ago. She put that nice little meadow in the north of the valley, and enchanted the town. The protection spell she cast is fairly good, but I believe she missed a few places.
You’re just jealous because the only thing anyone named after you was a soft drink.
I thought that “Erasmus’s Razzle Dazzle Root Beer” was a WONDERFUL name for a product. It’s a shame the company went broke afterwards. Anyway, was that everyone?
Well, actually, I was hoping that you could tell me about Baba Yaga’s curse.
Ah, her. Baba Yaga is good at curses and shape-changing spells. She has a nasty temper, and doesn’t believe in “safe hex,” so it’s best to stay on her good side. You really have to watch her. She cheats at cards.
So do you!
She started it first. Besides, I wanted her to get a taste of her own medicine.
Shame she still beats you.
*Ahem* The curse Baba Yaga placed upon Baron von Spielburg was a fine example of creative cursing. The curse itself goes,
“Upon von Spielburg and all his clan,
This curse I now demand.
What I will shall come full measure,
So shall ye lose all that ye treasure."
Of course, the problem is that for every curse there is an equal and opposite countercurse. A countercurse is a cure for a curse. It usually works against the one who cast the curse in the first place.
Yeah, I think I heard that one, although the baron called it a prophesy.
A fairly common layman’s interpretation, yes. Anyway, to break the curse, a hero must get rid of Baba Yaga, in addition to all the other things. It does not reflect well on Baba Yaga.
Nothing reflects well upon that ogress. She has a face that would break anything but a magic mirror.
Magic mirror, huh? I didn’t think she’d be a “fairest of them all.”
Oh, there are many types of magic mirrors. One of the more common types is the one that has a strange face popping up every so often.
Reminds me of the one in the master bedroom.
What? But that one’s not magic.
No, but it does have a strange face peering from it whenever you are in the room.
At any rate, I used to have a nice magic hand mirror I misplaced around here somewhere. It could be used to reflect a spell back upon the caster. So if you happen upon a small, golden magic mirror with a dragon handle on it, you’ll know it’s mine.
It was the flagon with the dragon. The mirror had a leer.
Oh, that’s right. Well, if you find a magic mirror with a face on it, you’ll know it reflects spells.

*Flashback*
‘E did borrow that magic mirror wot I got from Erasmus, though.
*End Flashback*

…I think the brigand warlock has it now. Do you guys really all know each other?
Well, there aren’t too many out there who know how to bend the laws of reality, you know? From what I’ve seen, though, he’s more of a nincompoop than a necromancer. The only thing I’ve seen him cast is sneezing powder.
You’re just jealous because his jokes are better than yours.
Hush! Oh, but that does remind me, do you know what time it is when Otto walks through your door?
Well, it was about midnight when I…I mean, no, I don’t know.
Time to get a new door!

Throughout the conversation, Erasmus will randomly ask a series of jokes, to which you have to respond yes or no. If you respond “yes” to each one in turn (thus ruining the jokes), he’ll teleport you to the base of the mountain.

Well, those were some swell jokes, but I really should be going. Looks like there’s a pretty long climb down ahead of me.
Not from MY house, there isn’t.



Wow, I never thought that would turn out to be convenient.