Part 21: Let’s Get Dangerous

Chapter 20: Let’s Get Dangerous


Yorick's Room.

Abandon mope, all ye who enter here! Job hunting, or just sight-seeing? I foresee a brilliant future for you in the fall. If you’ve got something to say, then speak fast or forever hold your pieces. State your case before I case your estate!
Alright. You’re Yorick, and you need me to hit Elsa with a dispel potion so that she will regain her memory.
Oh? And how did you figure all that out?
Well, it wasn’t easy. The first thing I really noticed was that the bandit leader had to be a woman. A bandit who was already hiding behind as thorough of a defense system as this would hardly need to conceal his face during raids unless he were hiding a secret, such as that “he” is really a “she.” It might have been disfigurement, except that Abdulla told me of the unusually high-pitched voice. There is also the issue of timing: Elsa was kidnapped ten years ago, but the bandits only became dangerous recently, after Elsa would be old enough to lead them. I knew she could be competent enough to lead them, since the Weapon Master told me that she was very intelligent, and would be excellent with a sword, given some training.

Still, it was you, Yorick, who really tipped me off. Both Erasmus and Henry called you funny, but Erasmus also mentioned that you weren’t very good with magic, only using prank spells rather than anything dangerous. There’s also the fact that they wouldn’t tell me your name, I guess because they weren’t sure what I would do with the knowledge. Since you had left the castle to find Elsa, I knew that you would remain loyal to her wherever she was, so once I knew it was you, Elsa wouldn’t be far away.

As for her curse, that was simple once I pieced everything else together. If the winged creature had only moved her, you would have been able to bring her back, and certainly wouldn’t have joined the band of brigands. The dryad wouldn’t have told me to make a dispel potion, either. It couldn’t have been anything physical, since neither Abdulla nor Heinrich thought that she was anything other than a normal human, and she wouldn’t need to hide her form if she weren’t still a woman. So it has to be mental. But her nature doesn’t seem different; her father and the castle guard both called her kind and sweet, and Abdulla was robbed without loss of life while Heinrich was brought to the healer for a broken leg. I doubt she would normally hold a grudge against her father either, since Baba Yaga’s “lose all you hold dear” curse took her first, and the baron kept his arrogant son under a short leash. But what about her memory? If she didn’t know about her relationship, she would act as just another foundling among the brigands. You came along and allowed her to reach full her potential, protecting her from the worst of the brigands’ actions.

Oh, and before you ask, I’m 23, I’m not a kid, and I CAN FIGURE THINGS OUT FOR MYSELF, GOD DAMN IT!
TESTy, aren’t we? Well, since you’re so good at figuring things out, I guess you can figure out this maze for yourself, too. Consider it just another “test.”
What? Hey, what is this place? Where am I?
Oh, just a little something I had built to keep the brigands from bothering dear Elsa. Only she, me, and Toro know how to get through.
Toro?
The minotaur, of course. Elsa raised him from a calf, and he’s just as loyal as you could hope.
…okay. So how do I get through?
Now where is the fun in that? You’re the hero, you figure it out.
What? Aw, son of a bitch!


Hey, what the hell is wrong with this place?


Basically everything you do wrong in this screen gets you knocked down, and there is no pathing, so you also have to watch where you click. On the other hand, you only take a small amount of damage each time you fall, and recovery is easy and potions can be taken between falls. If you don’t watch your hit points, though, you see this:


Finally, if you were wondering how to reach the right side without injury, the doorway on the left will take you there.



Oh, come on!


How is this even possible? Fine then, I’ll press the little button.



Ow! What is wrong with you, Yorick?
Schadenfreude.
…Is that some kind of disease?
Well, there are some who would call me sick.
Well, I bet I could fix it with a little therapy. Like some High-Speed Impact Therapy, involving your face.



How do I keep getting surprised?


*Thwap*

So now you’re chucking Meeps at me? That’s it; time for scorched earth!






Apparently, you can make him leave by saying “Elsa” or “Yorick” in the original, but the only way to make him leave in the remake is to threaten him with a spell or thrown object. Oh, and getting hit with an item does push you back a pace, so you can get knocked down that way, too.

…Well, at least he won’t be throwing things at me anymore.


Oof! ^{So now it’s crotch shots, Yorick? Well played.}


Fine, then, I’ll just take the doorway right.



What the hell? Hey, can I pull this chain?


Oh, so now the doorway works. I just hope that wherever I went goes both ways.



*M. C. Escher would love this place.*

At least I’m somewhere new. Maybe this tiny door goes somewhere. Hey, how come the panel is shaking?




Ah, so I’ve got to hide back in the doorway to avoid getting hit.


Please, please let this be the last door.


_(Phew.)


Elsa, I’ve come to save you! So could you just, you know, drink this potion please?





Maybe if I just throw it on her?




Huh. I didn’t know curses could do that to breasts. Or clothes, for that matter.
You can’t imagine how good it feels to know who I am again. After all these years, to remember that my name is Elsa von Spielburg! I used to wish I was not a brigand’s child but actually an enchanted princess. Now I know that I really was enchanted, and I don’t have to be a brigand anymore! Thank you so much for freeing me!
Well, technically you were an enchanted baronetess, but I suppose that’s good enough. Oh, and you’re welcome, of course.
I’ve got to hurry home to father and get his guards to capture the rest of the brigands before they manage to escape with the treasure. It must be returned to the rightful owners. Yorick, Yorick, I’m me again!
Sorry I took so long. I got lost. Will your Dad be glad that your spell’s been repelled! We need to go before the brigands know or they’ll spoil our show. C’mon! We’d better make our getaway before they get in our way.
Yorick and I can return to the castle with the amulet I wear, but I’m afraid you’ll have to get there on your own. There are two healing potions on my desk that you may take with you. You should use this secret passage and escape while they are arguing over the treasure. If they find you in here, you’ll be overwhelmed and killed.
Hey now, thanks for the vote of confidence! I’ve fought fields of goblins before, you know.

*Bam, Bam*

On second thought, I suppose I could stand to hurry up.
Thank you again, and good luck! I’ll make sure you are richly rewarded for your bravery.
If you decide to counter the curser, then mind the mirror over mere minds. So tip the canoe and toodleloo! Elsa, if you do the honors, I’ll honor your due. *Brzap*

Might as well take a look around before I flee. It’s a crying shame that I don’t have enough time to loot this place properly.


Well, the mirror’s got a face on it, so I guess it’s the right one. Now to skedaddle.


How the? Well, at least it worked. Now for Baba Yaga.


What, you again? I don’t know why you’d want to go back there, but whatever.



What, back again?
You’re going down, you ugly hag.
How cheeky!
Powers that rule
Over regions soggy:
Change this creature
Back into a froggy!



*Looks like you made her hopping mad.*

What have you DONE to me? How DARE you use my own spell against me? I’ll, I’ll…Oh, oh!
Hear me, O Elements of Air and Wind.
Give me the power to save my own skin!



*There goes Baba Yaga. Now you’ve REALLY made her soar!*


Closing Medley. I never heard this back before I used DOSBox, and it was apparently unheard by many of the other players of the remake. Nevertheless, after getting DOSBox (and therefore a slow enough computer), it does indeed play on this screen, just like how it does for the original.

You are instantly teleported here after Baba Yaga’s hut flies off. Aside from nearly every character from the game making an appearance (Toro will still show up if you defeat him, but he’s got an arm in a splint), all the extra characters present are members of the development team. Lori Ann and Corey Cole are present in the lower right corner in the Shapierian garb.



*Came the Hero from the east,
Freed the man from in the beast,
Took the child from out the band,
Drove the curser from the land.*


*The brigand band has been dispersed,
Their treasure has been reimbursed.
And so with Kattas and Abdulla Doo,
You bid the valley a fond adieu.*


The game is over, the quest completed. Technically, all you have to do to beat the game is create the dispel potion and free Elsa (the game will end when you enter the castle after that point), but where’s the fun in that? Plus, future games will treat you actions in Spielburg as though you had managed to end the curse completely. Above, you can see the special import/export file system that lets you transfer character stats (and, to some degree, items) between games. Sadly, the number of games that let you transfer characters between them (expansion packs don’t count) has declined in recent years, though it was fairly common at the time. Ah well. Shapier comes next.