Part 35: Wasting Away Again in Shapieriville

Chapter 14: Wasting Away Again in Shapieriville

Here’s where the slowdown really kicks in. Nothing happens on day 6. Absolutely nothing. Plenty of exercise to get, though.


I want you to hit me as hard as you can.


Hey Abu. What’s—
Shush!


Let’s see now, if the moon is in the seventh house (mumble, mumble)…


…hmm…and Jupiter aligns with Mars (mumble, mumble)…



…then peace shall guide our planet and love…?! Naw, it’ll never happen. Now what was it you needed to know?
What I need to know is why me? How come all of this prophecy and stars and crap all point to me? Why can’t anyone else deal with this? I mean it was fun at first, but now everybody’s counting on me, and the elements have apparently been summoned to make my life miserable, and I can’t get out of it!
Well, it doesn’t have to be you, really.
What?
A prophecy isn’t a description of things to come, exactly. It’s more like a recipe: in order to get result F, perform actions X, Y, and Z. You just happened to be unlucky enough to be the only active hero in town at the moment.
“Only active hero,” huh? I think I need to go have a talk with a certain couple someones.
Honestly, though, I don’t see why you are having so much trouble. Most heroes would jump at the opportunity to help so many people.
Ha! Me, enthusiastic. I wonder what that would be like?


[MEANWHILE, IN ANOTHER DIMENSION…]

Booyah! I kicked that fire elemental’s ass! MAN I am hungry!



Remake exclusive. Apparently this was placed here because Scoree and Sloree are based on the developers' names.

Awesome! Now I’m full! I’m gonna go out and kill things!


Behold two of the constellations of Shapier. The one on the left is supposed to be a saurus, but I always think it looks more like a sloped-foreheaded Darth Vader.


You’re huge! That means you have huge guts!


The terrorsaurus isn’t that much harder than his original counterpart, although he does seem to have fewer (relative) hit points. I killed this one too fast to notice any particular new moves, but I do seem to recall seeing a double kick from an earlier fight.


Heh. With all of you here, it’s almost a fair fight.


The jackalmen’s new tactic is to actively fight as a group. One lines up in the regular fighting alley, while the other bounce back and forth along the sides. If one happens to jump next to you, you can hit 5 and kick to the side in order to avoid being hit. Individually, though, they’re even weaker than the bandit.


Man, still not enough. I need something tougher!


Ah, the revamped ghoul. Or as I like to call him, . The ghoul now has mana, and can use it to perform a wide variety of new special abilities. These include tossing exploding skulls, spitting acid, and worst of all, spitting a pool of acid right in front of himself which can only be dodged by backstepping which a fighter of all classes really can’t afford to do. He can also use an ability that regenerates his mana until he’s hit, which means that you can’t try to outlast him, either. I don’t know if the regeneration drains his health at the same time, but it will never kill him, so yeah, not very fun.


I still killed him on my first try, at least. All that training must have been paying off. Oh, and one final word: if you grab the ghoul's head, you can give it to Uhura to mount on the wall. This is also remake exclusive.


This scene is remake exclusive.

Oh, hey guys. What are you doing up so late?
Sheema and I will be locking the door soon. We do not wish to shut you out, so please take our spare key with you. It will allow you to enter the inn at any time. Please take care not to lose it. Unfortunately, the kitchen is already closed, but if you are thirsty we would be honored to share some of our herbal tea with you.
Thanks, Shameen, and you too, Sheema. You guys are the best. I can’t wait to see what kind of element I get to smash next!


[MEANWHILE, IN THE FIRST DIMENSION…]

Bah, like that would ever happen. I’m going to get some sleep.


That’s some good food, Sheema. I really should eat here more often instead of relying on rations all the time.
It is an honor to serve a hero such as you.
Yeah, like me…Hey, I never asked, but why were you and Shameen the ones sent to find a hero?
We were not sent; we decided to go, to help my cousin.
Your cousin?
Yes. When all the Katta were driven out of their homes, only Sharaf did not leave. I fear for him.
Why didn’t he go?
In Katta, his name means “Honor.” He is very brave. It is said that he refused to leave Rasier so that he could work to bring freedom to his homeland again. I have heard that even now my cousin Sharaf works with the Underground to free Rasier.
Underground, huh? Good thing I’ve got some experience with…illicit activities. See you later, Sheema.
Stay safe, Nike.


Centime for the poor, effendi? Centime for the poor?

Meet the beggar, or as I like to call him, the money to Honor conversion system. Do I even need to tell you that giving him money also nets a few Paladin Points?

Wow, I just realized that you’re the first beggar I’ve seen in the city. Either Harun al-Rashid is really good at keeping the poor employed, or really good at keeping them off the streets.
The Sultan (May his reign endure a thousand years!) is a wise, compassionate man, who works very hard to ease the suffering of the unfortunate.
I’ll take your word for it, then. Hey, would you happen to know a guy named Sam?
“Sam?” I am sorry effendi, but I do not. My name is Shihhad, which means beggar.
Damn, did your mother hate you or something?
I was not…intended.
Oh. Sorry. Well, here, have a centime. Go buy yourself bread or something.
Thank you, kind sir. You have my blessing.


Pay attention to this day. On day 7 and only day 7, Omar will preach in the Fountain Plaza. You must be here this day in order to become a paladin as anything other than a fighter.


And they ask, “What is a Hero?”
though the answer’s very clear,
He’s the one who faces danger
when the darkness hovers near.

He will face the fiercest foe
when another needs his aid,
He will dare to defy Death
even though he is afraid,
He works not just for glory
and he does it not for gain,
But because he knows that others
will be spared a greater pain.

He won’t always follow orders,
for he dares to answer, “Why?”
And unless he likes the reason,
he refuses to comply,
He will brave the battle boldly
even though he may not win,
He will face his fate unflinching,
for he is a Paladin.

And they ask “What is a Hero?”
though the answer’s evident,
He’s the one who faces death
knowing that his life’s well spent.

Take that, antiheroes.

Come on, Omar, why do you have to do this in public?
Shut the fuck up, bitch, homie’s getting his groove on.
That’s it. I’m out of here.

[Later]


Hey Omar, you still here? ‘Cause if you are—hey, what’s that?


*You pick up the purse and open it. It has 6 dinars and 25 centimes. It also has a small scrap of paper with the words, “Quelling Chaos from Shapier, Driving Darkness from Rasier.”*

Once again, let me state this clearly: you cannot become a paladin as a wizard or thief if you do not visit the Fountain Plaza south twice on day 7 and pick up the purse.

Too bad, Omar, that’s my money now.


Ah, good, you’re both here. I wanted—
Before you continue, Nike, there is something I must tell you. You have saved the city with your courage and resourcefulness. The land of Shapier is indebted to you. By order of the Sultan, Harun al-Rashid, I have been asked to give you this reward for your actions.

*Rakeesh gives you the 50 dinar reward.*

We are all truly fortunate that you came to this land.
_{Wow, a pound of gold really settles the anger. So much for that diatribe.} So, Rakeesh, just asking, but where exactly were you when I was taking care of the fire elemental?
With the Sultan, actually. I heard about how you managed to lure the fire elemental into the streets; I don’t think I could have moved fast enough to stay ahead of the flames. It fills me with joy to know that there is someone who can do what I cannot.
That’s…nice. What about you, Uhura? Couldn’t you have helped me? Even a little bit?
Oh no. When I say I don’t do magic, I don’t mean just in the training room. Magic be scaring the jeepers out of me.
Well alright. Thanks for the dough, though; this stuff really helps me sleep at night.
Really? Say, Nike, the weaponsmith Issur was complaining to me the other day that someone had managed to rob him, stealing his money right out from under his anvil. Would you happen to know anything about that?
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooo. Couldn’t say. Well, later.

You can also refuse the reward by giving the money back to Rakeesh. This is another place to gain Paladin Points.


Well, nothing to do now but wait for the next elemental to show up. Rest, train, take frightening numbers of pills, and really just relax.



Oh come on! I actually wanted to help this time!

The air elemental is slightly irritating since it shows up under the radar. The first elemental is obvious, being right outside the inn, while the third and fourth elementals at least have the flower merchant speaking up as soon as you leave the inn. In contrast, the air elemental (who shows up in the Palace Plaza, which you’re not likely to visit anyway) appears on day 8, and the Katta merchants don’t even start talking about it until day 9. This can be particularly bad if you've gotten into the habit of skipping straight between the guild and the inn, or if (like me, the first time) you think that the appearances will be spaced at five days each. On the plus side, you do get three days to deal with it, as opposed to the fire elemental’s two.