Part 64: Impressing the Locals

Chapter 16: Impressing the Locals


You shall find it most interesting to be married to a wildcat. I accept your bride price and the Leopardman prisoner is now your wife.
I have no doubt but that this shall be a very fascinating experience.


Habari, hero Nike. Already the rumor be spreading that you are now the husband of this Leopard Lady.
Hah!
I be thinking maybe you should find some gifts for your new bride. Maybe then she will think of you more as a friend than as an enemy.
What, you mean she isn’t automatically inclined to enjoy the company of a man who has just purchased her like so much property? Heavens forbid!
You are…sarcastic, no?
Right, forgot that no one knows how to lie around here. So how is she doing?
When I told this Leopard Lady that she was now your wife, she spit and snarled. I do not think she is pleased. It will not be wise to claim this bride before you at least do something to win her friendship.
I’m not exactly trying to “claim” her, but friendship doesn’t sound too bad. How do you think I can do that?
When a Simbani wants to gain a friend, the Simbani gives three gifts. One gift be of beauty. One gift be for friendship. One gift be of trust. This is the way of my people.
Great. So I have to go back to the Tarna bazaar for another three items.
It seems that way. I be finding it strange to think of you married. I do not think you be ready to settle down for a long while. Besides, you will not really be married until she agrees to such a thing. I do not think your bride wants you for a husband yet.
No!
I’m not to keen on the idea either, to be perfectly honest. Still, I’ll take your advice. _{Oh good, another two days of walking, my favorite activity.}

Surprisingly, this part is actually completely optional. You get points for each friendship item you purchase and more when you give them, but as soon as Uhura is gone you can free the Leopard Lady and advance the plot as if you did everything right. Still, since I am at least pretending to do this right, it looks like we’re headed back to Tarna again.


So I followed your advice and the Leopard Lady is now my “wife,” if you can believe it.
Congratulations. I am certain you will gain greatly from this experience.
Maybe I would believe that if you could keep a straight face.
Sorry, but you have to admit you’re not really the marrying type, at least not yet. Still, you could think of this as practice for the real thing.
If my husband doesn’t mind, I have something I’d like to add.
Oh, by all means.
Listen, Nike, just because you have purchased her for a bride does not mean she will want you for a husband or even a friend. You will have to win her trust.
I’d gathered that on my own. Mainly the “bride” thing has been so that I can get access to her. Uhura has already said something about a “gifts of friendship” tradition, so I was wondering what you could tell me about that.
It is the custom of our people as well as the Simbani to give three gifts to those we want for a friend. One gift is a gift of something lovely to wear, to represent the beauty of friendship. Another gift is of something that will be personally meaningful to the one you give it. This shows that you care. The last gift is something useful or something they might want. I am sure that the only thing your new bride wants now is to escape, but you will need to find something else to give her before she gets away.
Thanks. Uhura was a lot less specific about what to give. I already have a carving she might find “significant,” now how about the other two?


Beads! Beads! Very fine beads!
Ah yes, it’s at times like this that the lower standard for jewelry tribesmen have comes in handy.
Very fine beads, 95 commons, effendi.
Would you accept 70 for the strand?
Very fine beads, 95 commons, effendi.
…How about 90? Just five commons less?
Very fine beads, 95 commons, effendi.
Damn you and your language barrier-supported bargaining skill. Here’s the money.
Naharak sa'id, effendi.
Now, something useful. If I were a wizard unable to cast my spells, what would I want?


One of your fine daggers, please.
Aha, so the spear has made you progress, eh? Take this dagger and go in for the final kill!
You are one disturbing mama jama.

*Finally, back at the Simbani village*


Here, have some beads. I’m sure they will look lovely on you.

*The Leopard Lady holds the beads for a moment, smiles, then puts them away.*

Amazing. If I hadn’t been watching, I would have had no idea that there was space enough in there. But here, a second gift, as I’m sure you would enjoy a carving of a leopard.
This is lovely. Do not think, though, that it will make me your wife.
Far from it, I assure you. And to show the trust I feel in our relationship, I give you this dagger.
Do not think I will not use this on you someday. Still, it is a very nice gift.
So glad you appreciate it. Now that we have reached an accord, I shall give you your final gift: your freedom!



*The guard yells at you in a language you don’t understand. You don’t he’s saying anything very flattering, however.*

Oh hush, this was bound to happen sooner or later. I just hope I can find her out in the jungle.


Man, I would be utterly lost by now if it weren’t for that giant tree to catch my bearings. Maybe the Leopard Lady will be the one to find me.


Or maybe she already has. Is that you, oh former Simbani captive?
There isn’t a creature in the jungle which has not heard you coming. Good thing you are not a hunter.


Ah, there you are.
So, you may have paid the cow people bride price for me, but I am not your wife. You cannot buy me. Did you think you could win me with a gift? I am Johari. I will choose my own husband, when I want one.
I am fully in support of that position. Please believe me when I say that all I wanted was to become your friend.
I have heard those words before. First you buy me for a wife, then you want only to be my friend. Right.
It’s nothing personal, really. You see, on behalf of a friend of mine, and for the sake of the peoples of this land, I am trying to bring peace between the Simbani and the Leopardmen. To do so I would require a friend in both villages, and you are the first Leopardm—lady I have made peaceful contact with.
So, all you want to do is use me to talk to my people?
Exactly.
The only reason you want me for a friend is so I will betray my village for you?
Wait, that’s not what I—
You never wanted to really marry me?
Not at all, I’m just—
What’s the matter with you, am I ugly or something?
Wait, please, you’re misinterpreting my every action! You’re quite lovely, really, it’s just that I only just met you which is why I’m trying to get to know you for the sake of meeting the Leopard people but I’m sure you’re a fine person and the Leopardmen are fine people too which is why I’m trying to stop this war and would you PLEASE stop looking at me like that?!
Some friend you are, trying to use me.
Aaahhgghh! Could we please talk about something else for a while?
Very well. If you want us to be friends, then we should know about each other. You go first.
Fine with me. I am Nike von Slartibartfast, prince of Shapeir, hero of two lands, and looking to save a third, no thanks to you.
I am Johari, daughter of the leader of the Leopard people, and a spellcasting changer.
Daughter of the leader? That could prove useful. Not that I’m trying to use you, because you’re a person and don’t deserve to be used, and—damn it, I don’t want to do this again. What do you know about the Spear and the Drum?
We do not know how a cow man found our village or managed to steal our Drum of Magic, but he left behind a spear in his hurry to escape. My people did not steal the cow people’s spear as the stupid Simbani seem to think. It was their thief who took our Drum of Magic who left it behind for us to find. You know, there will soon be open warfare between the cow people and my people. They first stole our Drum of Magic, and then they captured and sold me as a bride. The cow people would be plenty sorry they captured me, for my people would have wiped them out tonight if I had not escaped.
I’m not so sure about the timing, but let’s not argue the point. What about the peace mission from Tarna? Did your people encounter them at all?
There has never been mention of a peace mission to my people. The Leopard people stay to themselves. I am the only one who has spoken with an outsider.
As I suspected, then. Since you don’t know, let me explain: Tarna sent a group of seven to find your village and speak to you about your grievances, but were ambushed in the night by unknown assailants. You realize that you’re being manipulated, don’t you? The only way out an untold amount of bloodshed would be if both sides agreed to exchange their items and maintain peace.
How can there be peace between the cow people and our people when they stole our Drum of Magic and will not return it?
That’s what I’m saying. One of you needs to be magnanimous enough to make that first exchange.
You sure do like to talk. I will go now, so don’t bother trying to follow me. I can hear and see you in the jungle, but you will not hear or see me unless I let you.

Damn, she’s gone. Maybe she’ll come back if I just wander around the jungle for long enough.


*You hear something nearby.*

I thought so. Is that you, Johari?
So, you are again calling out to all the monsters in the jungle; “Hear I am, come and get me!” with your noise.


I happen to be very secure in my abilities, you know. The flying serpents aren’t very tough to handle once you get the hang of it.
Hah! You still trying to get eaten or are you looking for my village? You need someone like that cow man Yesufu to protect you in this jungle.
I happened to be looking for you, actually. Wait, why did you mention Yesufu?
Yesufu is the strong cow man who kept saying he wanted me for a wife, right? He looked almost smart for a Simbani. Shame you bought me for a bride first. He would not just watch quietly while I run away as if he didn’t care.
I don’t care, because friends are supposed to let friends go where they please. You just seem strangely hung up on Yesufu, considering that he’s one of the “cow men” you so despise.
I am not!
Have it your way, then. Have you given what I said about peace any more thought? After all, if I’m right and the Simbani and Leopard peoples have been manipulated, you would all be dying for absolutely nothing. Even Tarna would end up getting involved, since they think that you’re the ones who ambushed their peace mission.
So the cow people are mad at us for a spear we did not steal and the Liontaurs are mad at us for a peace mission we did not attack. I do not know what is going on, but you are right. A war will be very bad.
So glad we’re finally agreeing on something. Does this mean you will finally let me see your village now?
So you are still trying to find my village? Do you think I will tell you so you and the cow people can attack it?
Are you even listening? All I want is peace! I’m actually a spellcaster too, so I thought I would impress the Leopard people by displaying my skills, something I obviously can’t do with the Simbani. But first I need to know where you people are!
You know some magic too, huh? You cannot make the lightning jump from your fingers and go where you command, can you?
I can start flames from a distance and punch people from across the room, but sadly I lack that particular spell.
I did not think so. Maybe you would like to learn how to make a Lightning Ball? It will help you stay alive in the jungle. I will teach you since you look so helpless.
You’re just lucky my pride takes a backseat to my curiosity.
The third and final spell learned in the game, and the only one that gets taught to non-Wizards, as well. It’s not really worth throwing in combat, though, since it starts at 10 and the end of the game is so close that you won’t have enough time to practice it up to 300.

I will talk to my father about what you have said. Maybe we can stop a war. I will see you again.

…And there she goes. I guess I’ll have to wait until she comes to see me again.


My father is not interested in your words of peace. He even ordered me to stay in the village and not see you again. He speaks to me as if I were a child. I think he is a child if he thinks that this war will be good.


I’m glad that you’re listening to me, at least, even if your father is not.
I think we need to do something quick, or my people will be attacking the cow people. If my people do not get back the Drum of Magic soon, they will call for war.
The Simbani are in a similar state because of the Spear of Death. They have mainly been waiting for Tarna to make its move before going into the jungle.
My people are already doing rituals in preparation for war. Soon they will build enough magic to attack the cow people.
I can’t let that happen. Are you sure you can’t bring me to your village yet?
My father will kill me if I lead you to the village unless we have the Drum of Magic or you can prove you are worthy [the fighter/paladin and thief, who would have the Drum by now, can skip a lot of this talking simply by showing her the Drum, which will convince Johari to bring the hero to her village].
So how, exactly, does one prove himself “worthy” to the Leopard people?
You would need to challenge the Shaman in a magical duel to see who can out-think or out-spell the other. Only thing is, the Shaman has never lost a duel yet.
Oh, I’ve beaten impossible odds in mage duels before _{assuming that Erasmus wasn’t lying.} Very well; if that’s all you’re worried about, then let’s get going right away.
Very well, but you will have to prove yourself to my father before he will listen to words of peace. Let us go to my village and see whether you can indeed bring peace.
One thing, though. …Could we sleep first? I don’t exactly go about during the night like you.
You are very strange to sleep during the waking hours, but alright.


You are one strange man, you know. Why you want peace for my people, but don’t even know my people, I don’t understand. Still, I think I trust you. The people of magic, my people, do not trust outsiders. They will be very mad that I bring you there. My father will be furious. You will have to prove yourself before the people of magic will listen to you. A strong show of big magic will make them listen. Still, you are lucky if they do not kill you on sight. They may yet. They will kill that Yesufu fellow for sure. They know he’s an enemy.
There you go about Yesufu again.
I don’t know what you’re trying to say. But I think if Yesufu had hair and skin like you, my people would not kill him right off. First they laugh very hard when they see him. Then they kill him. Maybe they will kill you, too. I will try to save you.
And here you are saying that I’m the crazy one? I’ll have you know that my home town would be quite amazed by your appearance, particularly your choice in dress, if you ever bothered to come that far north.
Then your town is full of crazy people, too. We’re here, now.


Leopardmen Village

How curious. So you live in the trees themselves? How can you stand having to climb so much just to sleep at ni—day?
You need to be very quiet, Talk All The Time. You do not want my people to see you before I talk about you, or you will be one dead man.
Fine, but I think we can still talk quietly at this distance.
I sure hope you are as good at magic as you say you are. My people are very good at magic and you are going to have to be better, if you want to convince my people of anything.
Hey now, you are talking to an accredited wizard, here! I successfully passed the WIT examination trials, and I’m sure your people can’t throw anything at me that a powerful set of wizards with their own pocket dimension can. So what are we waiting here for?
We must wait for nightfall before most of my people are awake. Then I can show you the ritual that turns my people into Leopardmen, and you can challenge the Shaman.
All right. Time to sit back and wait, then.


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Want to make out?


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Oh, why not.






Leopardmen Village 2 (Includes bits from “Caged Leopardman” and “Council of Judgment”)


Johari, why have you brought this outsider to our village?
This man has much magic. He is a mighty wizard and he wants to prove himself worthy to be here. Okay, hero, say something about magic.
She is correct in her estimation of me. I happen to know a wide variety of spells, and while I did turn down the offer given to me by the Wizard’s Institute of Technocery, I happen to think myself competent enough to enter into a contest of your own design proving my abilities.



I am the Shaman. Who is this outsider that he dares claim he has magic?
Nike von Slartibartfast, wizard, at your service.
He is a very powerful wizard from far away. You will see his power!
This powerless fool thinks he has magic to match my own? Ha! Outsider, I challenge you to a duel of magic. You will lose to my skills in spellcasting.
Outsider, do you accept this challenge?
Certainly.
Then there will be a duel between the outsider and the Shaman in the arena immediately!


Interestingly, failing at any step in the duel isn’t a fatal mistake, except after the demon shows up. If you cast the wrong spell, you simply lose and get ejected back outside the village, where you can take some mana pills and try again as many times as you like. In fact, there are really only two ways to die in the mage’s duel:


The first is by casting Trigger at any point in the event. Not a bright idea (or rather too much so, really).


The second is by engaging the demonic Leopardman in close combat. Not that you will necessarily die by doing so (throwing the potion is really more of a mercy to the Shaman than to you), but you can mess up and die in combat. In terms of battle patterns, the demon Shaman is simply a slightly faster Leopardman with better hit points. He still dies fast enough if you spam Force Bolts.




You have won the contest by out-spelling the Shaman and our gratitude by destroying the demon. Now why have you come to our village?
I come in the name of peace and against the demons, one of whom your Shaman so recently and foolishly summoned. Both your village and the Simbani’s have been manipulated into fighting, your greatest treasures stolen in the night by an unseen thief and delivered to your enemy’s doorstep. You are being lured into a completely pointless war that can be averted simply by returning the Spear and the Drum to their rightful owners! So please, for the sake of your own people’s lives, allow me to carry the Spear of Death to the Simbani, bring you back your Drum of Magic, and come with me to Tarna so you can air your grievances without descending into violence.
Very well. If you pledge your honor to bring back the Drum of Magic, you may carry the Spear of Death to the Simbani.
Thank you, leader of the Leopard people. You won’t regret this.

The next part is the same for all the classes, so it’ll have to wait until the next update, wherein the thief finally gets to show you how he solves diplomacy issues. See you then.