Part 81: The Rusalka

Chapter 13: The Rusalka


Morning, Yuri. Told you I’d be back.
So you are.
Which door did the gnome say was his? Last one at the end, right? Guess I should knock.


Ow!
Oops, sorry! Seems I forgot about my burglar alarm. Hope it wasn’t too shocking for you.

The alarm does drain your health by a noticeable amount, so it is possible to die from it.

Remember to knock instead of letting yourself in.


Punny Bones

Halloo, howarya? Come in and have a sit, why doncha?

As you sit down, a rude noise comes from the chair seat.

Ha! Gets ‘em every time. How are ya, gouda see ya! Nice a ya ta drop in. Speaking a dropping in, did ya hear the one about the bad waiter? Seems he was always dropping in! Dropping in! Get it?
Not…really.
Didn’t think so. No one gots a sense a humor anymore. Not even me.
You don’t have a sense of humor? Isn’t that kind of important?
I ain’t got no Sensahuma! I can’t get no Sensahuma! And I try! Don’t know why! Gotta fly! Say goodbye! Whatsa matter, you a music critic? So I can’t tell a joke. Sue me. I’m comedically challenged. A feeb of a fool. A dweeb dunce. Azza matta fact, I have been cursed. I’m vexed with a hex, so to speak.
Curses? I’ve dealt with curses. What’s up?
I’m pathetic, that’s what. I can’t tell a joke if it kicked me in the teeth. Ever since I got Baba Yaga mad at me, I got the bad joke blues.
Baba Yaga? Oh man. What did you do to her?
Nothing! She has no sensa humor whatsoever, lemme tell ya. I was just telling a joke about how some hero got Baba baby hopping mad and fit ta be toad. How was I ta know she was in the audience at the time? Anyhow, Baba Yaga stands up, says some bad poetry, and the next thing I know is my jokes are jumbled and my puns are pathetic. So here I am in nowhere land trying ta locate Baba Yaga soze I can get the curse removed and my humor returned.
Huh, small world. You know, I was the hero in that joke. Forget where I put that mirror, though.
What, you’re the guy that made me lose my sensa humor? If ya hadn’t made Baba Yaga mad, I never woulda told the joke that made her take my humor away! You gotta find Baba Yaga and tell her about me!
You sure she’s here, though? I’ve lived here for years and I don’t remember seeing her hut around.
Sure I’m sure. Come on, guy, do it for all the poor jokes I’m killing every night.
Well, I have dealt with her before. Maybe she isn’t still mad about last time. I’ll see what I can do…sorry, what was your name again?
Putentane, ask me again and I’ll tell ya my name. Seriously, folks, the name is Bones, Punny Bones. I’m justa jester, perfessionally speaking, of course.
You mean there are people who tell jokes for a living?
Yep. I’m a professional fool, so don’t try this at home, kid. Unfortunately, more people laugh at me than at my jokes lately. It’s hard to be hilarious when your sense of humor is defunct. ‘Course, this place is no help, either. I’ve had livelier audiences in a graveyard. Whadda they know about humor? They think a guy falling into a mud puddle is a major joke, like, lotsa yucks, hunh? Now, a man being TRIPPED into a mud puddle, THAT’S comedy!
I’ve never really thought about that. See you later, Punny.
Catch you later, dud. Hey, how bout one more for the road? So I asks ya, what da ya call a dinosaur crashing into a wall?
I think I’ve heard this one before.
Late for supper, of course! Ha, ha, ha! See ya later, crocodile!


Morning, Dmitri. How are things today?
I am well, and I hope you are, also.
There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask. Everyone in town seems to know what “dark things” are except for me, and no one wants to say anything. I was hoping that maybe since I helped out with Igor you could finally tell me something about it.
We do not speak of such things because it is considered very bad luck to do so. I am not superstitious, but I know very little myself. Still, I suppose you will not leave well enough alone, and it is better to know than to fight in ignorance. They worshipped it in the Monastery, that much I know. The members stayed mostly within its walls, but the townspeople feared them. They said the followers were all like madmen, concealed in robes and speaking in whispers. Then one day, they were all gone. We heard of the fighting down by the Dark One’s Cave, of course. No one returned here, except for my grandfather. He brought the Staff here and said Erana was dead. That is all I know of the matter. I am sorry if I cannot help you more.
Thanks, Dmitri. I’ll see you around.
I would tell you to stay out of trouble, but I know you won’t. So be careful, and good luck.


It is good to see you again, my young friend! Have you ever considered taking up a career in science?
Not really.
You really should take the time to learn some of the basic principles of science. Learning the nature of the Scientific Elements and the patterns of the stars will improve your life! And being a world-famous scientist is a very fulfilling life. You live off the research grants, call everything you do an experiment, and bring bodacious babes back from the grave. Nice work if you can get it!
So can you teach me to be a scientist?
Oh my, no. I’m far too busy with research to hold any classes. If you should happen to visit Silmaria, however, there is a very nice Academy of Science there. I am sure you will have the opportunity to visit someday.
Alright. So, do you have my potions ready today?
Yes, yes, on the table there as usual. Now if you’ll excuse me, Frankie and I need to get back to my experiments. Her assistance has been quite…stimulating.
I’m getting out of here.

Dr. Cranium’s minor plotline ends here, so there won’t be any daily conversations with him anymore. Just assume I keep getting the daily potions off-camera.


Elyssa? I went and killed Janos again for you! Are you still here?



Elyssa?! You look…you look good.
Thanks, hero, but I’ve seen my reflection. I tried to comb my hair before you arrived, but it kept falling out.
So you already knew I dealt with Janos, huh?
Yep. I told you he was a jerk. Janos the jerk. I remember he even had bad breath.
I don’t think he was all bad, for that. He did have himself buried next to your empty grave, you know. I don’t think he ever married anyone else.
Really? I wonder what he’d have said if he knew I became a rusalka. Bastard would probably say it was my fault or something.
It doesn’t matter now, he’s been dealt with. Right now we need to figure out what you want most so you can rest.
I don’t know, I’m kind of nervous. I don’t really want to die, I guess. Still, I don’t really want to hang around drowning people, either. I just don’t know what to do or think. You’re the hero. You figure out what to do. I trust you.
You’ve told me you’re lonely, right? And that you end up drowning everyone you want to talk to. Since you’re still here, though, I don’t think that’s enough. Is there anything else you want me to do?
Hmm. I still don’t know. I’d ask you to come closer, but I think I might still drown you or something.
Wait, no you couldn’t, not if that’s what you want most. I’m coming in.
Are you sure? I mean, it is unlucky to kiss the undead, you know. You could wind up dead or something.
I’m sure.



You reach out to take the once-lovely rusalka in your arms and kiss her goodbye.

You’re sweet, you know that? Not many guys would do this for me. It’s funny, isn’t it? I think I always wanted to be kissed by a guy like you. Well, if I gotta go, at least I get my wish. Thanks.



Goodbye, Elyssa. I hope you’re someplace better now.


Welcome, welcome. It is good of you to visit our camp once again. May you find here all that you seek.
Hi, Gaston. How’s the camp?
We are fine here, now, thank you. Hunting has been poor lately, but yesterday we pulled down a large deer. It was good to taste fresh meat again.
Game’s pretty scarce?
We have been in this camp for nearly five years. This is very hard on wanderers like us. Our…competition does not help, either.
Like what?
Necrotaurs, and those vicious rabbits. But come, you are doubtless here to see my mother.


Greetings, Nike. I have seen in a vision that you have a friend in need. A stranger to this land, you speak with him in his room at the inn. This friendship will send you on a very strange quest. Perhaps at another time, we will speak more of this.
Anything new happen with you?
The other night I was hunting in the hills near the castle. I looked up at the walls and saw a man standing on the edge of the parapets. He was dressed very strangely and wore an odd hat on his head. Suddenly, he raised his arms. He shapeshifted into the form of a bat and flew off. I have a feeling you once knew this man.
Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry. I don’t know anyone who could turn into a bat, and I’ve seen plenty of strange hats. Is there anything else you guys could talk about?
I believe you would be interested in the story of Erana.
You said she came here, but not much else.
The magician Erana’s death is shrouded in mystery. I do not know her true fate. I only know that her staff protects the town and her garden protects anyone in need of safety.
The Staff is protecting the town? I thought it just sat there.
The Staff of Erana has a great deal of magic. It protects the town from the undead, although the townspeople do not know it. I had a vision of it one night. In the dream, it spoke and told me how it protected the town and of its Destiny spell. When the staff spoke no more, I saw a beautiful crystal floating in the air. The staff touched it and the crystal shattered. That was all I saw.
Wait, the what spell? I’ve never heard anything like a Destiny spell before.
In my vision, the staff said that it would guard the town until it cast its Destiny spell. That one day someone would bring a dead loved one before the staff. That person would trade his life force through the staff. The dead would rise alive and well, though the one who gave his life for the dead would never know. That would be a true sacrifice, done with foreknowledge and with love. The staff still stands in the town, so I do not think anyone has been willing to make such a sacrifice.
Or they just don’t know. Heck, not even Piotyr said anything about Destiny spells, in the guild log or as a ghost. I wonder who would even use a spell like that?
You will find someone, I have no doubt. If I have any more visions about you, I will let you know. You should visit here again, just in case. You never know when the knowledge of my vision may be useful.
Right. See you later, then.

*That Evening*


At this point, the townsfolk sort of apologize for the whole Gypsy-burning thing. It’s short, though, so I’m going to add it to their next conversation set.


Hey, Bella. What’s for dinner?

Dinner tonight is garlic stew with vegetables.



Thanks, Bella. So you didn’t think the Gypsy did it either?
I was very worried about him. It was just like those three old busybodies to accuse the wrong man. I’m so glad the Gypsy is free. I don’t know if Gypsies are werewolves, and I don’t really care. As long as they don’t harm anyone, they have as much right to live in Mordavia as we do.
Bella!
What? You didn’t think the Gypsy had anything to do with poor Igor, did you?
…Maybe.
Well then, when you see your Gypsy friend again, you may tell him that Yuri and Bella, at least, will welcome him here in town.
Now, I never said that…
But you meant it, didn’t you? You are a man of your word, after all. Oh, that’s right. We haven’t been properly introduced. Yuri, will you introduce us?
This is silly. You used to see Ilya all the time when he was growing up, remember?
But he’s been gone so long, and now he’s this big, strong hero! It would be nice to be properly introduced. Please, Yuri?
Fine, fine. Ilya, this is Bella Markarov, my wife and keeper of the kitchen. Bella, this is Ilya Stovich—
Nike von Slartibartfast, please.
Fine. Bella, this is Nike von…“Slartibartfast,” who grew up in the shop just next door.
I am very honored to meet you. Yuri didn’t want me talking to you after what happened before you left, but I think you have shown that you are a hero now. We could certainly use a hero around here these days.
Bella!
Oh, Yuri. I’m just saying that he’s welcome in Mordavia now.
Thanks, Bella, thanks a lot. I’m kind of glad to see how much everyone cared about Igor, too.
Yes, I always leave a supper out for him behind the inn. He looks strange and a little frightening, but I think he is really a good person. He is always so polite to me. I’m not sure what he means by graveyard humor, though. At least he seems to enjoy himself.
Now that he is back here with us, I think perhaps some day I will welcome him into the inn. He was always so strange, and no one had anything to do with him. I never imagined I would miss him before.
Good. Well, I should get going. I got someone to meet.


But first…

I was the paladin Piotyr, and my pride was too great. I sought to drive back the Darkness, but the Darkness was stronger than I could imagine, and I watched my friends and comrades die. At last, in desperation, I called upon the mage Erana. She held back the Darkness, but was herself trapped. In sorrow, I brought her staff to this place that it might protect the town, and preserve her memory. I sought to free Erana’s spirit, and so began the quest for Dark Rituals. I loved a woman, but left her to seek the Ritual of the Heart. The wraith defeated me, and I lost all—Erana, the woman I loved, and my life. Take my sword to my grandson Dmitri. Let his grief be ended.
Wait, this is your old paladin sword? Rats, and I was just getting used to having one again. Ah well, Greater Good and all that. At least I can still keep it for the evening.


Hello again. Did you get my note? I hoped I could see and speak with you again. I hope you don’t think I’m too…well, forward, but it’s just that I don’t meet many new people around here. I’d love to hear about your adventures.
Good evening, Katrina. How come we always have to meet so late?
I mostly just work in the castle in the day. That’s why I can’t see you; someone might notice I’m gone.
They don’t let you go wandering? Harsh.
I’m afraid my folks will get mad if they know I’ve met you. Actually, I’m not supposed to be out of the castle grounds. But please, tell me about yourself.
You sure? Alright. You might say it all started when Mama Olga was spying on the men for the Matchmaker in town. This was before her father invested in the avocado farm, of course…

*Hours Pass*

That’s terrible! But I’m sure it’s not your fault that Snickers ran out into the road.
That’s what Mama said, too, but I could never convince myself about that. Anyway, her litter lived on, and even now the store is full of black cats. Mama said she would give some away, but I guess since so many people left, she had to…

*More Hours Pass*

So you’ve met Baba Yaga before? Interesting…
Met and beat her. I didn’t know any magic at the time, so I had to use this magic mirror I found on Elsa’s desk. She must have gotten better, since there’s a gnome in town who says…

*Even More Hours Pass*

To be honest, for my second kiss, it was a little disturbing. But it worked, and Elyssa just faded away afterwards. Maybe it’s the paladin senses, but I feel like she’s at peace now.
You have seen so many places and people. I love listening to your adventures.
Thanks. I think that’s the first time anyone’s told me that.
Sorry, but I’ve got to go now. Maybe we can meet again? It’s too dangerous for me to come here again. It’s so far from the castle. Maybe we could meet by the castle gate some evening. I’ll watch for you there. Oh, and please don’t mention me to your father. I’ll get in trouble if anyone finds out I sneak out of the castle. They think it’s too dangerous outside the gate, but I need to get out to see you again. Goodbye!

You watch her walk off before you think of doing anything else.

Maybe I should do some exploring.


Hey look, a giant pile of badders. You can find them out in the forest at night, usually in larger numbers than in the encounter in the cave.

Directions: two south and one east from the town screen.


Who are you? I can barely see your face. Are you a ghost?
Please don’t talk so. It’s bad luck to speak of the dead. They might hear you. Can you show me the way to town?
Sure, it’s not far away.
Thank you. I’m just trying to find my way home.

The ghostly apparition vanishes.

The ghost will reappear until you learn her name, so you technically only have to do this quest in two nights. I’ll be splitting it into smaller pieces than that, though.

Strange. It’s getting late, though. Maybe I should sleep by the Staff again.



You are in this weird and wonderful place once more. This time you remember all the times you have been here before, and despite the beauty, you are afraid. You listen for the voice. It calls out for you.


You feel the Darkness surrounding you, and you remember dying. You are overwhelmed with terror, and you remember running away. Your lungs struggle in the agony of no air, and you remember screaming. You are helpless and hopeless, and you remember the eternal loneliness. With all your remaining strength, you reach out to touch the voice.