Part 39: Episode XXXIX: Jill Valentine Dies

When last we left our heroine, she had the T-Virus pumping through her veins and is likely going to become a zombie any minute. With that said, let's see how her schmuck sidekick is holding up...

With Nicholai having been launched out a forth story window, Carlos is free to explore the rest of the room. Highlight of the area? Why, a file, of course!

Photo D

No fucking way? Zombies?!

Of slightly more note is a key to a room in the previous hallway which only exists to herd players into here for a cutscene.

Let's see what's behind door number one.

A dead doctor clutches a scrawled down note holding the combination to a safe in the next room. Not a beloved photo or the findings to a cure of the plague. No, a combination to a mini-fridge he kept a really cold Red Bull was his last thought.

Also in this room is an odd non-prerendered cabinet in the corner of the room. A room with pressure plate panels in all four corners. I dare say this may be another one of those lame random puzzles.

Moving onto the next room, with aid of the Sick Room Key...

This room sure looks familiar. But, hey. That cabinet is way out of place!

And there's a picture of the mountains hanging upon the wall. I swear to god, if this block puzzle only makes the picture fall off the friggin' wall...

Son of a bitch!

This insultingly short diversion is, of course, solved by the aforementioned dead doctor's note with the combination. Heaven forbid the item within was just given to the player and cut out that precious thirty seconds of fantastic playtime.

The mini-fridge behind the painting contains non-other than half of the T-Virus vaccine. How utterly convenient.

Well, that's all for Carlos' exploits on the top floor. Now, for the foul depths of the third floor basement...

Fuck! Horde of zombies!

Is what I'd be saying if I didn't have a friggin' assault rifle.

Carlos passes through assorted dull labs and sterile corridors. As every single building in Raccoon City apparently has some Umbrella biological weapons research center. Standard issue with all emblem security system equipped locations. That gigantic centralized underground lab? Pfft. Who needs it when you've got basements and mansions in the woods?

Further into the complex, Carlos comes upon standard issues water filled glass tubes with monsters in suspended animation. Odds they'll smash out and attack him within the next three minutes? 4128 to 1.

Carlos finds half of the second component to making that virus cure that the chick he happened to run across could really use. Well, her and about 100,000 other people the last few days. But, details...

As old Carlos was a somewhat dense grunt, last we checked, he probably needs some instructions on how the heck to mix this miracle batch of cure up, no? Have no fear, for a file is here...

MEDICAL INSTRUCTION MANUAL

1. Activate the "monster attack scare" sub-system.
2. Insert newly acquired key item.
3. Solve preposterous puzzle.
4. Troll through the inventory screen to mix the two acquired items.
5. Administer cure (details as to how that actually happens are classified).
6. Profit.

This is about as asinine as it sounds.

Alright, monster scare subsystem is a go. Set to: within ten seconds of solving puzzle.

Now for the puzzle. There are two rows of valves. The first row is valves I-III. The second is Valves A and B. Each of these valves release steam. The object is to get the little power indicator, or whatever the hell it's suppose to be, to be in the center. This will, somehow, make the machine give the second half the of the cure brew.

This is the answer. What was the method to find solve this mind-boggler? (SPOILER: Who gives a fuck?)

Obligatory phallus.

And so the Vaccine Medium comes into Carlos' possession. I don't know what the hell that is and neither does he. But combining it with the base, through the power of science, results in...

The cure to the T-Virus... Which is exactly the same color as the G-Virus. I bet Birkin did that on purpose, just to be a dick. Mud on your face when you go to cure the T-Virus, stick yourself with the G-Virus and end up with electric tits from the combination.

(SPOILER: This is the actual result of the T + G Virus... A sex change and electric tits... I wish I were just being random...)

Obligatory monster smashing stuff scare. Scariness not guaranteed.

Meet the Hunter Gammas. They are, essentially, the exact same as their big (little? How does that work?) brothers. Only, they lack the instant decap attack and have a different kill animation and slightly more endurance.

Word has it these fellows and El Gigante are good friends.

Satisfied with chancing upon the cure to the plague a block away, Carlos heads back toward the nearby Clock Tower.

Wha? Did I miss something here?

Seven seconds?! Jesus Christ!

I guess that phantom accent that drives all the ladies wild is really making up for that vicious beating with the ugly stick he took as a lad.

I've got to say, that's an impressive explosion for a single block of C4 positioned at the very front entrance of a structure...

And to think, if he'd stopped to tie his shoe or fix his hair. Maybe finish a discarded candy bar... Or even took an extra five seconds to select his elevator floor. Boom. Blasted right to hell. Quite the coinkie-dink.

Quite the astute observation. Though, unlike Silent Hill 2, I really don't think there's some deep meaning to the phrase...

Carlos proceeds back to the Clock Tower.

I found out last year that Zombie Christmas is in October. Boy, did I feel like a jerk not bringing anything over to dinner that night.

Nothing about this picture is remotely right. Nothing.

I wonder if that's related to the stomping on the roof. Nah. I mean, it's on another floor across the building.

Immolation only augments T-Virus mutants' power. What...? That wasn't ever mentioned until this point? Well fuck, it does now! Hell, wait a few months and mutants will be bursting into flames for no good reason other than an excuse to grow more tentacles.

Meet Nemmy 2.0. He's bigger, badder, and has more phallic writing tentacles than you can shake a stick at. Old Carlos currently has a pistol with a handful of rounds and an assault rifle with 2% ammo. Needless to say... Run away! Run away!

It looks like he, thankfully, lost his ability to follow through doors.

That is only because he's acquired fucking B-Movie serial killer teleportation skills.

Lucky for Carlos, Umbrella is threatening to dock his pay unless he gets that whole "kill all of S.T.A.R.S." thing he's been slacking with dealt with. It'll look bad if he just dicked around for an entire day and waited until some prick came back with a cure for Jill's condition, all the why she's been helpless completely out in the open. That's just unprofessional.

No church is safe from tentacles. Other than the first Church of Funk.

Bonus Content

The amazing exploding hospital:
Video

Nemmy 2.0:
Video

There's over-the-top death animations and then there's this:
Video