Part 7: A sweet new restaurant
Episode 7: A sweet new restaurant
??? Aww, this is so cute! You guys look great together in this picture

??? Officially?


??? Oh sure, that was during Thanksgiving. She was soooo annoying everyone, asking everyone when you were getting married and having babies and everything. I guess you finally made her dreams come true.

??? What is it?


I included this second picture to show that for that entire conversation Armand was standing perfectly still in the doorway, listening in. You're a strange man, Armand.





















I wish you did, Jules






We now have a patisserie!
This is another type of specialised "restaurant" which similarly to the coffee shops serves a very particular niche. In traditional restaurants in this game, you have very different recipe types which vary a lot in quality and profitability. For example, mains and appetizers tend to be high quality and to have very high profit margins, whereas desserts and soups have very low profit margins. Recipes that Armand can cook in a pan can be pushed out very quickly, which massively boosts profitability, whereas recipes that have to be baked in the oven are very slow to cook, which results in very bad profitability.
Now we have a restaurant that only serves oven-baked desserts.


This is the interior. Now why would Armand and Delia have to renovate this place? I think the amoeba carpeting and hypnotic golden spiral wallpaper is rather fetching.
As usual, we have to get this place operational. Let's get to it!

Now, I'm on the record as being strongly against these bigger four-person tables, but they had pink leopard-patterned sofas, there was just nothing I could do.

By 12:00, exactly zero guests have showed up to eat at our new patisserie. Since I have to meet a revenue target to complete this mission, that's, uh, that's going to be a problem. I max out our advertising spend and deeply discount the entire menu.


A little later, the game takes pity on us and sends a scripted guest to the patisserie. We still haven't had a single regular customer. Also, I don't know why Jules is calling people "signora". The restaurant is in Paris, and as far as I know she isn't Italian. Also that's a dude.






There's no voice acting for conversations in this game, so I have nothing to inform this choice. I'm just going to imagine this guy has a cartoonishly strong Australian accent because that seems the funniest to me (by the way, sorry about this game's terrible lamingtons, Australia goons. I'm sure it's actually very nice!)








Visit an interior designer? Sure, why not. Seeing as we have literally no customers, we might as well!


Oh, it's just this place again.






At this point, I'm not sure whether Jules is genuinely supposed to have some sort of inability to tell people's genders, or if the people who made this game just never did any QA on their dialogue whatsoever.





I'm not buying you a castle for your terrible, unprofitable patisserie, Jules.

A guest at Delia's First Coffee Shops has an intriguing proposition for us.


Woah! The legendary Restaurant Empire simulation software?? That's like the world's greatest cookbook! This is the ultimate, most powerful item in the game for improving a chef's skill. Buying this will let us significantly boost a chef's skill with every single recipe in every cuisine! $100,000 is a small price to pay for such an unparalleled piece of software! I buy it immediately.

Unfortunately, paying $100,000 for Restaurant Empire put a big dent in our cash pile. I don't like being below $100,000 in cash in this game since someone might come and offer us an amazing recipe or something, so I'll have to go a bit further into debt. Another $100,000 should do for now, we're still well below our credit limit.

It's 3 PM, and we're at least getting a couple of guests at the new patisserie. Probably not enough to reach our revenue target, but I'm hoping that if I keep throwing good advertising money after bad, I'll eventually turn this place around.

I forgot to check this out until now, but at the end of the last mission we unlocked a new French dessert from our recipe research. I don't know why our French dessert research is more advanced than the other research topics, somehow it got out of sync. It's a nice recipe with a good quality rating. Unfortunately, our recipe for fruit gratin with almonds, another French dessert, is just way better at a 77% quality rating, so we don't really need this.

I also buy this recipe for hot chocolate from a customer at Delia's First Coffee Shop. Delia, please don't make hot chocolate with chocolate syrup, that's just terrible


Shortly after, a guest sells us this breakfast recipe for $76,545. But the joke's on her, we paid $102,060 for this crappy recipe back in Restaurant Empire 1! Our guests are getting soft on us.

Unfortunately, that depletes most of our cash again, so I have to borrow another $100,000. Not too many more recipes, guys! Please?

As if to taunt me, another guest immediately sells me this recipe for another $18,000 or so.

Another recipe, another $43,740. Armand's going to have to take out some more credit cards if this keeps up.

To save some money, I swap the violinist at Treize à Table for a country singer named "Keith Rural" who will perform for beer and spare change. It's not like our guests will notice.

It's a good thing I saved that money, because a guest then sells us the recipe for our dear old friend, the seafood quiche! Once you discover the optional ingredients, this is one of the best desserts in the game. Why is the seafood quiche a dessert?


At the end of the month, our goal report shows that we didn't come close to meeting our targets for the new Patisserie. Not only was our revenue too low, but the game simply does not give you anywhere near enough customers to meet the goal!
In order to make it at least a little fair, the game does give you a long time to try to meet the goal. Let's keep at it!

It's month two, and we seem to be getting a few more customers, but our performance took a big hit because I had to close the restaurant down and expand the kitchen. The kitchen porter was blocking the way to the oven and was refusing to move, which meant that no food could be served all morning and early afternoon. Kitchen logistics is a big problem in this game. This is very unfortunate, because I love to optimise layouts for maximum efficiency, but that tends to increase the risk of situations like that. If I could put the kitchen porter in a separate building, I would.

But enough griping, we've researched some new coffee shop recipes! This is our new tea, basic iced black tea with lemon. It's got nice quality, so I'll definitely add it.

This is our new mixed drink.

And this is the new coffee shop food recipe. It's just cheese, lettuce and tomato drowned in mayonnaise.

Back at I Heart Cake, we are very slowly climbing our way towards the goal. This is despite closing the restaurant for a significant part of the day, so I'm optimistic about this.

We also researched this new American dessert. This would normally be useless since we don't have any American restaurants, but this one can also be served in patisseries! However, I can't add it to the menu just yet, because it would compete with a much more profitable recipe. I'll probably add it later once we get more customers and I Heart Cake is more sustainable.

After a few more months of very expensive advertising, we've almost reached our goals. We surpassed the goal of $28,000 in revenue, and we had 37 customers per day, just shy of the 40 customer target. I expect we'll reach that in the next month or the one after that.
To celebrate, let's go on another date with Michele!



















In case you were wondering: no, there is no sound effect to represent the audience, nor any audience for that matter.





And Tim fucks off to let Armand do all the





Luckily, although they keep switching up the layouts, these Bejeweled stages aren't really getting harder.






A couple of months later, we barely scrape by on our revenue and customer goals! It's almost as if the patisserie isnt awful now.
Okay, now for the important part, let's jazz up this place!


These are the wall, floor and table options for the patisserie.


These are the wall- and floor-mounted decorations. Those giant bright shapes are supposed to be shaped flan, which is kind of cute.

Since we don't have any customers anyway, we could also place some of the larger tables. These are the unique large tables. There are also larger versions of the regular two-person tables.
Thread poll: what décor should we have in I Heart Cake?
Vote on wall, floor and table design. For example, to vote for wall type C, floor type D and table type B, vote "CDB". The winning combination will be whatever has the most votes when I play the next mission. Also, let me know if you want me to add any of the floor or wall decorations.