Part 11: Nah, that's too obvious, how about "Hardy Johnson"?

Episode 10: Nah, that's too obvious, how about "Hardy Johnson"?



Hiya there, Armand. Great day, ain't it? Look, I was over at that there cooking contest, and I ain't seen fancy footwork like yours in a long time.

Thanks. I aim to please the audience. And you are…

Richard Steele. Restauranteur Extraordinaire. I also am a mighty great entrepreneur, if I don't mind saying so myself. And I bet you ain't here in the US to check out the scenery.


Restauranteur, entrepreneur and, going by his name, retired porn actor.

I'll grant you that. I'm here to learn American cuisine and hopefully run a few successful restaurants.

Look, son, I'm gonna cut to the chase. The restaurant scene here in LA is a whole different ballgame, you hear?

What do you mean, different ballgame?

Over in Europe, everything's about the fine dining. Here in LA, people care about service and entertainment. LA is the entertainment capital, and us Americans, well, we're consumers. We like good service, and good entertainment.

You know how it's like. We're the fast food franchise heaven, home to many overweight people.

What does this have to do with me?

Well, I know you've got some Mafia guys helping you out in Europe. I'm not involved in any fishy stuff – I'm straight. But let me tell ya, you're gonna need local knowledge if you want to succeed here in the States.

And you are suggesting?

Look, I'm from the south, and over there as well as on the east coast I've got a few successful seafood restaurants up and running, but I need talent here on the west coast, and you're the best chef I've seen in a while.

So whaddaya say? I'll even let you use your own name. You get to run the show. I just want a foothold of California before those OmniFood guys start their expansion.

What do you know about OmniFood?

I know they're involved in some shady wheelin' and dealin'. They've been known to use genetically-modified ingredients in them cooking contests.


Oh God damn it, this stupid game has an anti-GMO angle?

Genetically modified ingredients? But I thought that it was against tournament regulations!

You betcha, son, but they've never been caught red-handed. Well, unfortunately, they don't scrutinize ingredients in the cooking contests. But if they did, I'm sure they'd find some weird things…

What conditions do you have for me if I accept your offer?

We want you on our board of directors. You'll act as CEO, I will act as CFO. You manage the business, and I balance the books. The board of directors have already agreed to split the earnings in half between the company and yourself.

You've gotta admit, this is a better deal than the one you got with the Mafia guy.

I guess you're right. He only gives me cash premiums and the occasional restaurant. So you mean to tell me we split earnings half-ways?

Yep, we'll go 50-50. You will own equal shares from this. So what's we say you sign on the dotted line so we can get things going?


Um, Armand, you do realise that we're working for the mafia, right? I don't think Don Corleone's going to be very happy if you cut him out of…

Sounds like a good deal to me. Sure, I accept your offer.


Welp.

OK, then. I'll get the paperwork formalized. Until then, the board would like a demonstration of your abilities. Not that they doubt you, but they are anxious to see what results we can all expect under your management.

MR. STEELE HAS GIVEN YOU THE LOCATION OF THE WAGONS HO! STEAKHOUSE.

What kind of demonstration?

We want to see you achieve a monthly profit of $30,000 with Wagons Ho!, which should not be a problem for you.

I'll see what I can do.

There's one last thing.

What is it?

Here in the US there is a great emphasis on equal opportunity employment, and the Baord especially likes to adhere to this rule.

And that means?

Granted, traditionally, there are not that many women chefs, but the Board has insisted that you hire a lady chef to work in your restaurants. It will go well with the consumers and it's an added benefit from a marketing perspective.

Well, rest assured that I will try to hire this person – and I think I know exactly who to ask…




Well, Armand has decided to cut the Don out of our American business and has joined up with restaurant entrepreneur Dick Steele instead. Looks like we'll have to start cooking with a bulletproof apron.

On the plus side, Dick gave us a new restaurant: Wagons Ho! It's our first American-style restaurant, a steakhouse. The game has three types of American restaurants: steakhouses, seafood restaurants and one last type that's so stupid I won't spoil it. The difference is purely cosmetic – you can serve any American recipe in all of the three restaurants, so you could conceivably run a steakhouse filled with seafood and a seafood restaurant that only serves steaks if you're feeling particularly rebellious.

Now, before we set up this new restaurant, it'll need a head chef. Dick told us we needed to hire a woman chef, so let's go talk to the only female character in this game!



Hi there, Delia, how are you doing?

Oh, hi there, Armand. It's been a slow day. So – what brings you here?

Remember our conversation about female chefs?

Of course! That was the first time we met, right?


The only time we met, in fact.

Yes. Well, I've been thinking, and…

Yes?

I was wondering if you would like to work in my restaurant group for a while?

But me? I'm still a student! I'm still learning the craft!

I need someone to assist in my daily restaurant duties. Would you be interested?

I don't think I can juggle my time between studies, the store, and now, a restaurant!

Even grandmaster chefs dedicate their lifetime learning when it comes to cooking. It is an endless learning adventure. What do you say?

It sounds like a great offer, but I'm not too confident that I am up to the task!

The more reason for you to take up a chance like this – it'd do wonders for your career if you got a head start!

It sounds tempting, but I just don't think I can do that many things.

That's too bad… You have the chance to become a superb chef… but you can never find out if you never try!

Alright, you convinced me! The only problem is now someone has to take care of the store in my place. If you can find a reliable substitute to run the market, then sure!

And where will I find someone to run your store?

I don't know! But if my aunt entrusted her store to me, I can't let her down! I mean, put yourself in my shoes: what if you ever let your uncle down?

Uncle, you say? Hmmm. Now he just might be the man for the job! He used to be a chef, so he knows all about ingredients! Do you think he's a suitable replacement?

Suitable? I think so!

Good! I'll see what I can do to convince him! Until then…

Well, thanks, Delia!

You're more than welcome!

I'll see you soon!


Man, compared with how easy it was to recruit all our other chefs, that was like pulling teeth. Now we need to find someone to take Delia's place at the shop, and luckily Armand managed to think of someone we won't even have to pay minimum wage uniquely qualified for the role!



Hi, Armand, how are you doing?

Not bad, uncle, but I need some serious help!

Why? What happened?

There's this entrepreneur in Los Angeles that made me an excellent business proposal.

And his name is?

Richard Steele. He says that he has been running restaurants from the south, east coast in the States.

Ah, Richard! Yes, indeed he's had a string of successful restaurants running in the east coast. And his proposal?

He will partially fund my operations as well as do all my US market strategy. The only thing I need is to hire a female chef…


Wait, what? Armand, no, that's not even close to what you agreed with Richard. Did you forget the terms already?

Must be to please the consumer as well as present yourselves as equal-opportunity employers…

… so you already know this. I just don't know what I can do – I have the right person – and she's gorgeous by the way, but she will be leaving her store unattended, and she will agree to work with me if I can find her someone to run the store in her place! And I think she only offered to do this because we get along well.

And what are you looking at me for?

You couldn't possibly be interested in running the store for her, and hence, for me, now, would you?

I'm sorry, but I'M retired! Besides, my back hurts! I don't want to be standing all day!

But, uncle, it's just running a store! And you get to be around fantastic ingredients to prepare your recipes when you get home!

Well, that seems like an added bonus, but unfortunately not enough to convince me and my ailing back…

But, uncle! Think about it: you'd be back meeting chefs old and new who go there to shop as well! You could swap cooking tales with them, as in the old days!

Hmmm. Rekindle the flames of years long gone! The nostalgia is warming up to me, Armand. But, alas, I think I'll pass…

Uncle, think about this: if you help me, I can better my position against OmniFood and their unethical practices!

Yes. So?

Doesn't it pain you to see fellow chefs succumb under the might of OmniFood? Don't you think that OmniFood has done enough to tarnish the reputation of honest, hard-working chefs like you and me? Wouldn't you like to see them get their *just desserts*?

Yes, yes…

So, why DON'T you help me? What do you say?

Come to think of it, you're right! Not only will this help your cause against OmniFood, but I can also get out and meet people and exercise my back a bit! No problem.

No problem what? Is that a yes?

Sure – why not?

Great, then! Let me give you the address, OK?

Whatever you say, Armand!

UNCLE MICHEL HAS AGREED TO WORK IN DELIA'S MARKET! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO NOW IS TO TELL DELIA THE GOOD NEWS!


Armand talking about OmniFood's unethical practices is a bit rich when he's trying to guilt his poor old retired uncle with the ailing back into moving from his house in Paris to Los Angeles in order to work a crappy retail job just so Armand can hit on Delia in his restaurant. In fact, I don't think Armand even mentioned that Delia's shop was in America – looks like Uncle Michel should have read the fine print!



Hi, Delia!

Hi, Armand. So, did you sort things out with your uncle?

Oh, yes! He said he wouldn't mind taking care of things while you gain some experience in the kitchen!

That's wonderful! Imagine – now I have my chance to prove my mettle. So, where do I go?

Why don't you run my new steakhouse? Give it a try.

Well, it's close to home, and steaks are not that hard to make. Sure! I'll take you up on your offer!

It's a done deal, then! I'll let the staff know you're coming on board!


Armand, the restaurant doesn't have any staff yet.

But, Armand! You're not just sending me off to a paid vacation are you?

What do you mean?

Well, once I get there, what should I do?

Hmm… Haven't thought about that. How about…



This is a little interesting. In this scenario, since you are the one hiring Delia to run a restaurant for you, you get to set one of the mission objectives yourself! It's a small thing, but I always thought that this was a pretty cool inversion.

I don't care about star ratings or customer satisfaction, so let's go for that customer spending goal!

How about increasing the average amount of money spent per customer to $15?

Well, I think I can do that, provided I have some recipes!

Recipes? No problem! You can use mine! How does that sound?

Swell! Sure, Armand – I'll get going right away! Oh, and thank you so much!



So, Wagons Ho! is another monster restaurant with way too much space. Also, I've been to one or two American steakhouses, but I don't remember the incredibly shiny reflective brown tile floors. I'll do a basic setup for the restaurant for now, then delegate the decoration to the wisdom of the thread.



There we go. The gnarliest possible Restoration Hardware distressed wood tables, cow skulls everywhere and a wallpaper that looks like we're in the Hell dimension from Silent Hill.



I haven't shown off the recipes we got from Bruce "Big Red" Allen yet. They were peaches with shortcake topping, tuna steaks with tapenade and crunchy chicken cutlets. Above is the first one, the peaches with shortcake topping. This is a good quality dessert with an acceptable profit margin. It's not good enough for competition use, but it's excellent for use on our restaurant menus. A good recipe.



Tuna steaks with tapenade. The rating isn't very impressive, but look at that sexy gross margin! With a default price of $18.20 and a cost to make of $1.87, this thing is 89.7% profit! I don't know if this goes in the oven. If it does, it's a pretty pointless recipe, but if it's quick to cook, then man is this a moneymaker! A good recipe.



The crunchy chicken cutlets. No thanks. They're low quality and have a poor profit margin, but since Bruce's other two recipes were pretty good I'll give him a pass. Bad recipe.



Now that Wagons Ho! is up and running, I go and check up on Gentille Alouette. The restaurant is well-regarded, having earned a four-star rating, and its monthly profit is a modest $30,000 a month. Big props to lofi whose design I used for this beautiful menu cover!



A customer calls me back to La Cosa Nostra to sell me a secret recipe ingredient. I decide to quickly pay him off, then flee the restaurant before any of the Corleones notice I'm here.



Shortly after, a customer at Wagons Ho! sells me a new recipe. It's terrible. 39% quality isn't even good for the beginning of the game. A bad recipe.



As if on cue, another guest brings me another recipe. At least this one SOUNDS nice, even though in game terms it's completely useless. Mediocre recipe.



And another one. Is this some devious OmniFood plot to bankrupt our restaurants? Buy a stack of cookbooks, then sell me the recipes one after the other for ~$20,000 a pop? Bad recipe.



Armand, NO! You CANNOT cook fish in the microwave! I'm not even going to allow you to do that! A don't-even-try-it recipe.



At the end of the month, we haven't met the objectives yet. Wagons Ho! made a loss of $2,627 for the month. However, this includes a $20,000 liquor license and $50,000 in staff training, so actually, things are going great. Once I'm satisfied with the staff's skill, I can just stop the training and win the mission.



Before I do that, though, there's also a new cooking contest. It's the same premise as the previous contest, except you're only allowed to bring two chefs.



Mario Corleone is our heavy hitter, so he'll obviously be attending. Armand's bulletproof apron is against regulations, so just for fun I send Delia in his place.



Mario is crushing it, and since we're well-ahead after the second round, I actually let Delia cook in the American round, where she makes a stuffed spider crab.



We win!



Oh what the fuck she doesn't even get to do the dance, her animation is to just bashfully wave! Explain yourselves, Enlight Software!



We win this bad recipe. That's no good, let's try again!



Oh my goodness, ONE chef has to cook both French, Italian and American? But how could we ever find…





Unfortunately, the second recipe we get is also a bad recipe. Oh well.



And with that, the mission's won! Next time, we'll be getting yet another new restaurant and maybe meeting some new chefs.

But for now, our new restaurant needs a makeover!



Thread poll: what décor should we have in Wagons Ho!

Vote on wall, floor and table design. For example, to vote for wall type C, floor type D and table type B, vote "CDB". The winning combination will be whatever has the most votes when I play the next mission.



The wall decoration options for steakhouses are pretty predictable. Saddle, lasso, cowboy hat, cow skull, you know the deal. There are also a lot of black and white Wild West photographs that we can edit if anyone is feeling creative.



The floor decoration options are pretty paltry and mostly Indian-themed. Some handwoven rugs, a tipi, a canoe and… is that a fucking corn-on-the-cob column??



It is. Wow. I'm not even trying to push for this, I'm just baffled. Anyway, let me know in the thread if you have any good ideas for the decoration! Otherwise, I'll just keep covering the walls in skulls.



Here's the tiny, tiny texture file for the Steakhouse photos. Post an edit in the thread if you have any ideas for good posters or paintings!