Part 18: Fuckin' microwaves. How do they work?

Episode 17: Fuckin' microwaves. How do they work?



Well, if it isn't the wonder boy! I hardly see you here now – you're so busy!

Armand! We are thrilled for you! We can hardly believe how far you've come! And winning the Masters championship has finally earned you a place among the stars.

…and I could have never done it without your help!

Now you've established your name; created a plethora of restaurants; and climbed up the culinary ladder of fame. What else could you want?

I want to see OmniFood's restaurant empire topple and crumble, but how do I drive in the nail that seals their coffin?

Well, you certainly have come a long way in doing that! Ever since you ran the family business, I've seen you slowly but surely eat away OmniFood's slice of the pie! But, to capture all their market share and break their domination? Now that's going to be tough!

Have you planned any strategies or tactics for achieving this?

Hmm… well, actually, not really. I haven't thought about it yet. Any ideas?

Haven't thought about it! The OmniFood people are bracing themselves for the worst, and are probably going to pull out every single dirty trick they've picked up these years to unleash on you, and you haven't thought about it?

Well, I am open to suggestions!

…um, why not turn all your restaurants into four-star restaurants! I'd even easy off a bit on the prices, so that this time it's YOU who is complicating life for THEM!

Hey, now that's a sound idea! Now you can pay them back with the same coin! Remember a while back, when they would wage price wars on you? Well, I think the time has finally come when you can do the same to them!

If you use this strategy, you can probably drive THEM out of business!

Thanks for the tips…

Anytime!

We're here to support you whenever you need us, Armand!


Yeah, I'm not going to be doing that. Driving OmniFood out of business is nice and all, but lowering our prices is going TOO FAR.



I won't be satisfied until I defeat those OmniFood cheats in the cooking contest finals!

In that case, I wish you luck. I know it will be extremely tough – with OmniFood bracing themselves for your inevitable onslaught, they will be pulling out all sorts of surprises from their bag of tricks.

…and not that I doubt your ability to defeat them, but how exactly will you go about defeating them in the grand final?

Well, so far my skills have been going from strength to strength – I should have no problems at all defeating OmniFood at all! Right, uncle?

Now cockiness is not a LeBoeuf trait! A little bit of humility goes a long way! Don't count your chickens before they're hatched!

I think what uncle is trying to tell you is to be careful. They are at the top of the culinary ladder for a reason. They might cheat by using illegal ingredients, but you must admit that they really know how to make use of them!

So – what do you suggest, uncle?

I know that Dmitri has received a new batch of ingredients – or at least he told me between a few cups of Byelorussian vodka that arrived with the shipment!

Uncle! Drinking with Dmitri now, are we?

No – well, a little bit – just that time. But anyways, his connections in Tajikistan and the Ukraine have shipped over some fantastic goods! You can buy some of his ingredients that might help your top-notch recipes taste even better.

Thanks for all the advice…

Of course, Armand.

We're only here to help!

Well, I'd better get going now. I have a competition to win, and a foe to defeat!

Well, I hope you know what you are doing. I would suggest that you build a few new restaurants on your own – no Don, no Richard this time. This way, if your strategy fails, you have a backup plan with new restaurants.

And how do I build new restaurants?

There are several plots of land as well as abandoned restaurants for sale. It must be because of the duel between OmniFood and yourself, that many restaurants have folded.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Don't be! This is a capitalist economy, after all! Besides, if you don't buy up those plots of land, I'm sure your favorite foe OmniFood will do so, and then what? It won't be easy fending off a whole slew of OmniFood restaurants!

And how do I build new restaurants?

Simple. You can do so by calling up the build interface on your bottom bar when you are in the city view.

Ok. Got it! Well, I'm off now.

Take care, Armand. We're all behind you! And may all your dreams become reality!



All right, I hope you guys are strapped in, because this is a feel-good mission! We're going to travel across the world to visit all our old friends and ask for their help to defeat the evil OmniFood.

And I didn't make a mistake in transcribing the dialogue, Armand really does ask the exact same question twice in a row. I guess the game's QA team let this one slip because they were too busy making sure the recipes were perfect.

Now, before we go anywhere, let's see our chef team at Treize à Table.



Good day, fellow chefs. I know you all want to talk to me about something. I came as fast as I could.

So, what seems to be the problem? As you know, I'm busy planning our strategy to wrest OmniFood of their unique market positioning…

Yes, and that's what we want to talk to you about. Mr LeBoeuf, we are all truly grateful for what you've done to kick-start our careers in the food and beverage industry.

Yes, and we thought that it was high time that we gave you something back in return.

Yeah, bro! Check it out: we've all been cookin' for ages with your help, and now that we're pretty much into the cookin' groove – if you know what I mean – we want to give you our best recipes that we've come up with – and I ain't jivin' neither!



Tyrone's talking animation presented without comment.

Really? That's a most welcome surprise!

And what may these recipes be, if I can ask?

Signore LeBoeuf, we have each one make very good recipe for you. Please accept token of appreciation.

MARIO GENEROUSLY DONATES HIS PASTA WITH SAUSAGE, EGGPLANT AND BASIL.

TYRONE HANDS YOU HIS GRILLED TUNA GAZPACHO!

CARLO GIVES YOU HIS TAGLIARINI WITH ARTICHOKES AND SHRIMPS!

THIERRY AND PIERRE BOTH COME UP WITH THE FILLET OF BEEF WITH FOIE GRAS AND TRUFFLES!

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, DELIA DELIVERS A FANTASTIC GRAPEFRUIT GRATIN WITH ROASTED ALMONDS!

I am absolutely flattered! Why, these are stupendous recipes! Thanks to all of you, from the bottom of my heart! With these absolutely brilliant recipes, we can now safely claim supremacy in the kitchen. OmniFood, look out – we're on a rampage!



We get a bunch of fantastic recipes from our chefs! This is Tyrone's recipe, gazpacho with grilled tuna. Wasn't Tyrone supposed to be the spicy Cajun chef? And he gives us gazpacho?

It's a really high-quality recipe, but unfortunately it's categorised as an appetizer rather than a soup (because of the tuna, I suppose). Since we already have the recipe for crab crapiau, which is a higher-quality French/American appetizer, I don't plan on using this in contests, but it's a very nice menu recipe. Good recipe.



Fuck you Thierry and Pierre, don't think I didn't notice that this is the recipe I just won from the cooking masters contest in the last mission. You didn't make this. It's still a really good recipe.



Compared with the other two recipes, Mario's recipe is a bit of a let-down. 72% quality is good, but it's not a god-tier contest-destroying monster recipe like the other ones. It'll go on the menu, but it's not a contest recipe. Good recipe



Another high-quality appetizer. This one is Italian rather than French/American, so it's not competing with the crab crapiau, so this is now my go-to Italian appetizer. Good recipe.



I joke about this, but do the game developers genuinely have some sort of problem with Delia? Delia's recipe isn't nearly as good as the other chefs' recipes, and it's like 10 quality points worse than our contest-grade desserts. Hell, it's worse than our recipe for Crepes Marcie, and we've had that since mission 2. It's an okay recipe, but it certainly doesn't deserve to associate with the kickass recipes we got from the other chefs. Good recipe

Shortly after seeing the chefs, Dick comes to see us.



Hiya there, Armand!

Hi, Richard, how are you doing?

Great! I've seen that you've been busy openin' up restaurants all over LA.

Yes, well, I did plan to take LA by storm. And I couldn't have done it without your insight.

And take LA by storm you did! My insight had nothing to do with it – as I told you before, it's all about the connections. Having a big marketing team don't hurt neither!

So – what can I do for you? You are a busy person, and I don't want to tie up your time.

Y'know? I came back from one of those staff management seminars, and you're going to like this piece of news! I mean, this seminar was something else! They came up with this wild theory about how to supercharge your personnel!

So – what did you find out? Care to tell me? I'm not sure I follow that bit about supercharged personnel…

Efficiency, Armand! That's what I'm talking about! The subject was how to garner more productivity from your staff. I thought it was all that hocus-pocus *motivation* mumbo-jumbo, but no – this really works!

So… the benefits are just that – more efficient staff?

Just that? Try a 500% increase in productivity! I'm talking about training your staff in record time! You know how it takes forever to train one of your staff. Well, with this system, you can have your staff oozing experience and treating your customers right in a jiffy!

Oh, I see. Well, that's great news!

What'd I tell you? Think about it: get yourself on this program, and your staff will be charming customers left and right before you can say *dinner's ready*!

Care to share the secret with me?

Well – that's why I came here – to share the wealth!

RICHARD STEELE SHOWS YOU THE SECRETS TO PERSONNEL TRAINING. YOU CAN NOW TRAIN YOUR STAFF 500% FASTER!

Just don't stray from these instructions, and you're bound to see immediate benefits to your restaurant – better service, less complaints, more happy customers!

Thanks for the tip!

You know, I'm still devising my great plan to trounce OmniFood. Do you have any advice?

Advice, no. However, I bumped into Robert – you remember him from the Hydro Shop, right? Well, he was also invited to the seminar, and he was actually a guest lecturer!

Wow! Good for him!

And can you believe it, he's now the chairman of the ASHOP.

ASHOP. Hmm… Never heard of it!

The American Syndicate of Hydroponic and Organic Producers. He's now overseeing the trade and commerce behind all hydroponic and organic ingredients sold on the west coast!

That means he's probably got the best hydroponic ingredients available anywhere this side of the Atlantic!

Go see him. Chances are, he's so well connected that you should have no problem sourcing those rare-to-find ingredients that can make or break your recipes against OmniFood.

Thanks for the advice.

Well, thanks a million, Mr. Steele! I'll be sure to take up your piece of advice!

Think nothing of it! Just make sure you succeed! We're all lookin' at ya, kid!


Richard grants us magical HR powers! Unfortunately, all our restaurants already have service skill around 100%, but I appreciate the gesture. He also reminds us to go see Robert, so let's do that!



Robert! Congratulations on your chairmanship!

Duuude! Long time no see! Like, that Richard, man, he can't keep his mouth shut! He knows how I am totally against all the notoriety and fanfare.

But anyways, nice to see you again, dude. Like, what am I good for?

Well, since you ARE chairman of the ASHOP, I thought you might have some new ingredients in store…

Sure, dude. I've got some new stuff. Check it out, man!



I just buy everything. I'm not even sure if this is new stock or not, but we have so much money it'd be genuinely difficult for me to spend all of it.

What's the association all about, anyway?

Well, dude, it's all about poolin' our resources together. I mean, dig this: now that we've got all the major suppliers gathered under one organization, this is the premier place to source your ingredient contacts! Everyone that's a righteous producer in the US is now represented by me!

ROBERT, BEING CHAIRMAN OF ASHOP, CLUES YOU IN ON THE LARGEST INGREDIENT SUPPLIERS THIS SIDE OF THE AMERICAN WEST COAST. YOU CAN LOOK UP THE NEW CONTACTS IN THE SUPPLIER INTERFACE.

Alright, I'll be seeing you soon. And congratulations again!

Later, dude. Swing by anytime.


Robert gives us contact details for a bunch of new wholesalers. Wholesalers are very important, so this is super useful!

Now, Uncle Michel mentioned that Dmitri had new stock. Let's go say hello.



Ah, my favorite capitalist comrade. How are we this fine day?

And how are you doing, my good man Dmitri?

Ah, being cautiously polite now, are we? I detect a tone of favour in your voice.

Okay, okay, I just wanted to sweet-talk you into selling me some choice ingredients! Uncle told me you've got some new merchandise?

Ah, you want to see what new produce I have. Michel must have told you all about them. Since you're making false attempts at being kind, I'll have to raise the prices a bit on these supreme ingredients.


Dmitri's ingredients are really low quality, so I don't bother buying anything. Also, in case you were curious, instead of being nice to Dmitri, I could have told him to get right to business and to show me his wares, in which case he would have raised his prices to punish me for being rude instead of raising his prices to punish me for being nice.

I'll be leaving now.

You do that, my preferred capitalist customer!


All right, now there's just one more stop on our tour:



Armand! How are you? I'm glad you came around – saves me my trip to go down to the restaurant to see you…

You wanted to see me?

Yes. First off, I want to congratulate you for reaching this point in your quest to defeat OmniFood. For that, I'm very grateful.

I might as well thank you too! Without your help, I would have remained a nobody in the food and beverage industry!

Now I'm going to give you a gift.

A gift! I like gifts! What do you have for me?

Being that you've always met or exceeded my expectations, and you're just an overall good fella, I'm giving you $300,000 to help your cause against OmniFood.

THE DON HAS GENEROUSLY DONATED $300,000 FOR YOUR CAUSE!

You're – giving me this money? No strings attached?

Yes. Mamma thinks I'm crazy, but I know you, Armand. You'll put it to good use. And this is the least I can do for someone who has helped me live out MY dream of running successful restaurants.

That's very generous and kind of you, Don! I must thank you!

You've got it the other way around – I must thank you! Now, the only thing left is for you to go and sock one to OmniFood's chin. I want to see you knock them out!

Do you have any ideas for me defeating OmniFood?

Ideas? No. You're much better at this restaurant thing than I ever will be! I think my place is with the *family* - that's what I'm good at. But, Secondo, on the other hand, can have a few tricks up his sleeve – why don't you go and see him?

Thanks for everything, Don! I'm off to fulfil our dreams!

Go and mop the floor with those OmniFood buffoons! I'm counting on you!


Aww. Turns out Don Corleone is still our friend even though we cut him out of our American business. And he gave us our best gift yet – cold, hard, dirty cash!



Now that we've seen all our friends, let's get to work on that new restaurant! By a significant margin, the most popular request was for a music restaurant in Paris serving Italian food. I buy a large lot near the Arc de Triomphe and build our new restaurant: "But I Am Pagliacci"

Of course, Pagliacci is a tragic clown.



Behold our new restaurant. Fuck, man. Fuck. I might have gone too far.



I assign Renato Corleone and Niccolo Paganiente to work at But I Am Pagliacci since they were both working at restaurants which weren't very busy. I'm surprised they didn't immediately hand in their notices.



I bought a lot with very good footfall for But I Am Pagliacci, so even before advertising we're getting a decent number of customers. Zabida Petit here is complaining about the lack of options in our drinks menu. Lady, there are other way worse things in this restaurants that you should be complaining about.

I get an alert from Le Palourde Chantante. Thank God I have an excuse to get out of here.



Ah, Armand. Nice to see you again. You know, your food quality has been improving tremendously!

Thanks for the compliment!

I've also got a great piece of news for you!

What great news do you have for me?

I was in Bavaria the other day. Charming region – the Germans, believe it or not, also make some great pastries. They are not strictly sausage, you know!

Now… where was I? Oh, yes… anyway, I was having lunch with this giant Teuton, and he told me that once he was fortunate enough to savor your glorious cuisine…

Huh? Glorious cuisine?

Well, don't look at me like that! I'm just repeating what he told me! So, to continue, he is involved in restaurant exteriors and façades. And he told me that for you, since your food was so outstanding, he is willing to sell you exterior decoration for your restaurants.

So? I can already do that!

Trust me, Armand, he is different. This person does not require you to maintain certain restaurant ratings for you to upgrade. As long as you have the money, you can upgrade your restaurant.

Hey! That's fantastic!

What'd I tell you? Now, you can upgrade anytime you like! Think of the immediate benefits that this will bring your restaurants.

And I never thought good food meant so much to so many people!

I'm sure this will help your cause tremendously. Now OmniFood had better watch out, when they start seeing a whole bevy of fully-clad restaurant exteriors pop up like mushrooms!

Do you have any suggestions for me, Secondo, now that I'm gearing up for a final confrontation against OmniFood?

I think you can handle it from here, Armand. You have come a long way, beyond everyone's expectations. I wish you the best of luck in your quest.

I'll be seeing you, Secondo, and once again, molto grazie!


Yeah, that's useless. For some reason, builders in this game will refuse to upgrade your restaurant façades if your restaurant isn't prestigious enough, but this hasn't been a problem at any point during the LP.



However, talking to Secondo surreptitiously unlocked a new cooking contest: the Super Chef Showdown! We'll need to beat this in order to complete the mission, so let's not waste any time.



I go with the usual team since they've done very well so far. First up is a breakfast round. This sucks, because it's pretty much impossible to train breakfast cooking skill because you get so few breakfast customers. You just have to hope not to screw this round up too badly and recover in the subsequent rounds.



I go with our new mushroom fries recipe, with which Armand has a beefy 22% cooking skill. Bring it on!



Yikes.



French appetizer round means stuffed spider crab with Dmitri's super crabs.



Phew! Kept that tension up for an entire round of this contest. Also, I suspect that the game is actually locking us to a maximum dish quality of 99% for secret plot reasons which I'll get into in the next mission.



Italian soup round: fisherman's soup.



OK, this contest isn't appreciably harder than the cooking masters.



American desserts? Time for our disgusting seafood quiche.




For the last round, I'm going to go with the fillet of beef with foie gras and truffles. Armand isn't actually that good at cooking it yet, only 79%, but I want him to get more practice with it, and winning the contest should make it more popular at our restaurants.



Oh, our score is not capped at 99%? Welp, I guess I just suck at the cooking minigames!



But we win! We are now the SUPER cooking masters!



We win this recipe. Aside from being an aggressively mediocre recipe to win from the Super Chef Showdown, that looks like a brain. We're serving brains now. Mediocre recipe.



As per tradition, we'll celebrate by updating But I Am Pagliacci's exterior. But nothing too fun, this is the sad music restaurant.



Now even the building has sad eyes.



I notice that I'm getting complaints at But I Am Pagliacci about guests getting dirty dishes. Now, normally I don't put much stock in our guests' stupid complaints, but since I forgot to install a sink or dishwasher in the restaurant, I must concede that there might be something to it.



At night, But I Am Pagliacci looks dark and miserable. Perhaps there is no hope for us after all. Perhaps we will have to languish under OmniFood's cruel yoke and be forced to slave away in their restaurants, making affordable food with quality ingredients. 'tis a fate almost worse than death.



No! It will not happen! Next mission, we will finally face OmniFood and get a chance to crush them once and for all!