Part 9: I Hate Your Tittays

I Hate Your Tittays

As per your vote, we'll go with fire and ice.





On the way to the castle, I stop by the VP guy and get the next treasure.

I have to cough up 20VP this time, and the next time will be the same. But that won't stay for long.




This sword is for Ryle, and does exactly what it says. 75% chance to crit but also to miss.

It's not too awesome, but since it also raises several of his stats, I'll equip it for now.

Shortly before I reach the castle, Latyss learns a mind buff for the whole party and also gains a single attraction point from fighting alongside Ryle.

Inside, I chat up Gohu to see what to do next.


"Sessha already double checked, 20 Ninjas still inside the castle."

"Alright then!"

"Also it's better to sneak into the castle during the night time, we should keep the possible civil disorders to the minimum."

"I got it! Let's go wait at the inn."

Before I do that though, I spend my last cash at the smith and pick up whatever I can afford. It's not much, but better than nothing.


Let's do this!


We'll see about that...

"How about tonight then?"

"What?! Are you nuts?"

"No! We just want to beat the bad guys!"

"Shut up! You FLAT-chest!"

Daaaaaaammmnn

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! What did YOU just say!! You are SO deadddddddddddddddddd!!!!!"

"Hey! Wait a sec! What are you trying to do?!"

"HUAH!!"


Fina totally hulks out and slices the guards out of the way



"You...you just killed them!?"

"NO mercy on those who insult my breasts!!"

"......~"(I better watch out from now on, especially commenting on breasts)

That's solid life advice for a lot of situations. So, how do you like Fina's first disorder? She's terribly sad that she has small breasts and will flip the fuck out when somebody says so. And it will come up several times! Awesome, isn't it? And to give you a little hint for the future, you do remember that she's paired up with Hayami, right? That will work out great...

Anyway, there's no return now...


"Don't get near the throne hall! You have to get rid of all the surrounding guards first!"

"Let me see...how many of them do we need to finish? Hayami, what's your opinion?"

"It's highly possible to be 15 out of 20 we have to handle. The rest are supposed to be with Xaktor."

"Besides the king's room and the room for the prince, there are few places to hide. And don't even think about fighting more than 2 ninjas at once! Thank goodness it's a small army~"

This is actually a disguised hint. You have to check both of those rooms to finish this section.

"But don't underestimate their strength, imagine fighting against 1000 regular troops."

"Then Dear Fina and others must defeat 15 Ninjas?"

The "others" also include you, Orubia.

"After that, Ryle's group go to the throne hall and make the rest back to normal, and then finish Xaktor..."

"Here we go!"

Now I'm in control of Fina's party...

..and everyone has their game-face on.

Since we haven't seen her before, let's check Fina's skills.

She's pretty much a Paladin. Some healing magic, holy attacks and a fire spell, for whatever reason. The Dragon Gene is one of those event skills and useless to us.

Okay, here is how this section works. You have to make your way through the castle and free 15 Ninjas. Fina will keep count so you don't have to. There are random battles in here, but overall this section isn't hard. It's more a test of endurance than power. The layout of the castle is very square and straight-forward. You just move around and kill shit till you're done.

After a few steps, I immediately encounter the first new enemy.

I think they can cause the Shaky status, but didn't really check. Since this part is a gauntlet, I just power through the randoms.

Have Fina's attack animation.

Her jacket makes her look like a pirate captain

Shortly after, I meet the first Ninja.

Let's free him!

"Sessha am White Shinobi Kuno Ichi, Hayami! We'll turn you back to normal!"

"Interesting...Let sessha see how capable you are!"

"Sorry, you are outnumbered!"

"Your life...shall be MINE!!"



"Roger!!"

"Umm, I don't know if I can handle them~"

The actual fights are exactly like the one against Gohu, the only difference is that Fina's Victory Buster does a lot of damage against the Cell. It goes down in two rounds which is very nice. It was actually neat that you didn't vote for Orubia, as she's more useful on this team due to her holy attacks. The animation for Fina's Victory Buster isn't that special, but here it is anyway.





After the cell is dead, the Ninja returns to normal.

"Yeah! It's number 1!"

"Ouch..Sessha..Umm? What happened..?"

"You've been brainwashed. Sessha am afraid by Xaktor..."

"Sessha get it now...Sorry for all the troubles..."

"I have a favor to ask you, ok? I want you to watch our back as well as the escape route."

"!! But that means?!"

"I appreciate your concern, but we are on the mission and we can't afford to make any mistakes now."

"...Roger! Good luck!!"

"Go to next target!"

I basically have to do this fourteen more times, and a lot of the text you just saw will repeat. So I'll abridge this part a bit and will only type the unique text. I'm still going to show you all the Ninjas though, mainly to give you an idea of the map.


Number two is waiting on the other side of the floor.

"Your life...shall be MINE! Kakugo-!"

"Sessha am also White Shinobi! You won't beat sessha so easily!"

After dealing with him, I take a quick step downstairs. There I find a chest with a Wizard Hat that Orubia can wear. It's just armor though and has no special traits. The other downward staircase leads to a prison, but the entrance is locked tight.

So up to the next floor we go!

I swiftly deal with number three, and approach the lower Ninja...



"Sounds like we are the bad guys~"

"You ruthless bunch of chumps! Let sessha show you the way of justice!"

Yeah, how about no?


Aside from a savepoint, there is an elevator to the throne room here. Of course, it's not working.

A few steps down the hall, number five and six are found.

The one on the left has a little scene after you beat him so I'll do that first. Also, Hayami learns a water based attack from leveling up. Now she has four of the mundane elements at her disposal, really only missing ice. Which isn't a real element anyway.



"You've been brainwashed by Xaktor."

"What...? But how..?"

"I only heard from the others, it seems you guys end up helping the bad guys..."

"Really!? Maybe a wire or two still hanging on sessha's arms and legs?!"

"What do you think you are?! A nutcracker?"

"Jesus! You need to control your blood sugar level Miss, and take it easy. Get some of those iron pills and calcium too!"

"Urr! This guy's starting to irritate me..ok just follow my directions. Got that?"

"Huh?"

"Go to the castle entrance, you'll see a tall man with 2 girls. Just stay with them."

I'd never assumed that Ryle is actually tall. But I guess it's canon now.

"Why?"

"Because it's freaking dangerous for you to stay here! Got it now!?"

"But you look like the most dangerous person in this castle Miss..."



"ARRRRRRR-!!!"


Suddenly, Hayami saunters over to him..

"After this mission is completed, sessha will......you, ok?"

"Really!? Sessha will pursue this mission even if it means risking life!"

"What did you tell him?"

"Sessha told him that he shall be rewarded with large amounts of his favorite treats after this..."

"Did you just bribe him with mere snacks?"

"Why don't we just hurry to next target now?"

"Never thought the famous mercenary force would be easily tamed with some candy bars~"

"Haa...*sigh*"

Okay, real talk. This is open to interpretation and probably garbled by the translation, but I just assume that she offered him all the blowjobs.

Moving on...


"You better dream to pass sessha!"

"Oh YES I can!"

"Lady Fina...don't get into such a silly fight!"

"Silly....?!*tripped*"

"Lady Fina-! Wake up! The enemy's coming!!"

Jokes!


Orubia picks up a new group attack here. Also, the door is locked and I move to the other side of the floor.

On the way, I meet the next random enemy type.

The fuck? I just cut them down real quick, so I have no idea if they can do tricks.


Here are the next two Ninjas. The third one is in the middle of the castle, and can't be reached yet. Let's take care of the upper one first, which triggers the next instance of titty-hate.

"Arg! Even if you are a Ninja, you can't fight 3 of us~"

"Wh...What a fighting spirit! But where does it come from?"




"(How come my chest is so small and flat)*frown*"

fuuuuuuck

"D-Don't know what's going on, but an increable impact! Sessha'll deal with you with full power!"

Nope, he's a chump like the rest.

"Are you ok?"

"Looks like sessha's injury is more severe~"

"(Oops! I hit him too hard!)"

"Anyway...I want you to walk down to the 1st floor ok?"

"!? Please allow sessha to join your mission!"

"We are on a dangerous mission now. Not only that, you look pretty beat up."

"...Understood! Good luck!!"

"(Sorry~)"

"By the way Lady Fina...How did you come out with that much power all of sudden?"

No, stop it!

"Eh? Well, because our opponent is an expert, I had to fight him with full force! (I c-can't tell her the truth! That I was jelous of her breasts so much...I ended up getting mad~)"

We're all in this together now...we're all tainted.

The other Ninja is dispatched quickly, bringing us up to eight. And I discover the next one after a few steps down.


"Only that you won't have it!"

"I'll show you!"

"Lady Fina! Please don't act like a thief~"

"Oops! Sorry! My old habit being a poor peasant for many years just came out..."

What the hell are you even talking about?

"Even with that, you can't just steal from others!"

"You can keep entertaining yourselves after I sent you to hell!"

"Hayami, we will talk about this later!"

Nope!


"You sure you gonna open it no matter what?"

"I just want to see if there's any item useful to our mission."

"Sessha think that's not the REAL reason..."

"(Oops! She got me~)"

Inside the chest is the key I need to access the middle of the castle.

"SEE?! I told you so!"

"..."

"We are just borrowing the key under the name of justice!"

"..."

"Give me a break...~ I can feel little bit of guilt too!"

"Haa...*sigh*"

I'm close to bringing out the Whiskey again, not gonna lie...

Anyway, before I take on the middle of the castle, I still have to clear the highest floor.


This is the wing where the King sleeps. And Ninja number ten is in the way.


Inside his room, I find a chest with five Jellos. Hayami has no moral objections this time though.

When I try to leave the room, a little scene gets triggered.

"I don't see the king here as well...Maybe imprisoned at lower dungeon?"

"Lady Fina-! Above you!"

CLINK-CLANK

"Waa~ Th, That was close~"

"Tssk! I missed."


Ninja eleven ambushes us out of thin air.

The other side of this floor has the room of the prince, and I also need to search it.

Aside from Ninja number twelve, this gives us a sneak-peek into the throne room.

The room of the prince also has a chest.

It holds a Broad Sword. It's the same sword that we found while in the mines, and therefore trash.

When you leave this room, you trigger another ambush that is exactly like the one before. So let's skip that and move through the middle of the castle now.


Through the locked door...


..on the floor. Everybody walk the...ah fuck it.

By the way, Orubia learns Holy Cross here. It's a single target spell with a good chunk of holy damage. This allows me to finish the last Ninjas in a single turn. Yay!


Ninja fourteen..


...and fifteen. Done!

"Mission complete!! Let's go join Ryle!"

That "go" is meant literal. I have to walk all the way back, still fighting randoms.



"Alright, let's tackle the throne!!"

"We should find 5 Shinobis there expecting us."

"Watch out for the monsters which Xaktor released inside the castle! And ONE more thing! The King is imprisoned somewhere in this castle!"

"!?"

"His Highness was not found in his chamber."

"Probably down at the dungeon?"

"But why the king?"

"Maybe for a hostage to make Prince Dyss follow his orders."

"I get it! Xaktor threatened the prince to do what he says otherwise the King would be dead!"

"But if he's that clever, why not let the monster cell control the prince like the others?"

"Why is that?"

"He rather use the cells on those Ninjas who are already famous for being 100% loyal to their employer. That kind of bad dude would leave the prince alone?"

"Why not just brainwash the king in the first place? Isn't that more efficient?"

"Looks like Xaktor wants the whole world; starting from Factoria. That's why he chose the prince who would be more useful in the long run than the old king. If the prince dies, he must find someone else to continue the throne."

You know, for all the garbled mess that this plot is, that makes actual sense!

"That gotta be a troublesome task."

"Taking the prince also means more advantage over the King."

"Advantage?"

"If he wants, he can pretend to assassinate the King, then he can raise the army with cause. Soldiers will sympathize with their poor prince who just lost his father. And willing follow any orders. The next step, let the prince start a war against neighboring kingdom for revenge."

Damn, all this sense-making is really odd. Can somebody be wacky again, please?

"Neighboring kingdom means Meldia!"

"Meldia is ruled by the heroes from the "Demonic War". Lord Zestrum and Lady Meldyss!!"

"That's too dangerous! If we start a war with that kingdom, others will turn against us!"

"Correct! Like Caris said, Meldia is respected by many."

"In order to prevent it, we must stop the High Chancellor Xaktor!"

"Fina, my group will head for the throne hall! You go rescue the King! If things go bad, try to escape as soon as you His Highness!"

"Why not we all attack Xaktor now?"

"Absolutely not! If he gets away, the King might get into real danger."

"Then how about let the Ninjas take care of him?"

"No, they'll handle other matters. Fina and others, search the lower dungeon along with a couple of Ninjas. Let me take care of Xaktor."

"...Ok then!"

"Well...let's end this fight!!"

Nope, let's end this update!